dog day afternoon [OPEN]

[prosecutory]

Who: Miles Edgeworth, his faithful canine sidekick Pess, and YOU!
When: Any day after the intro log.
Where: Errywhere, pretty much. See prompts for locations.
What: Edgeworth takes his dog around, and runs into people. Adorbs ensues.
Rating/Warning: Dog. Grumpy prosecutor being a little less grumpy.

---

[OPTION A: RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT

Edgeworth is taking his dog out for a walk around the district. And before he can do anything, the big and very real tricolor border collie suddenly stands up on his hind legs and barks excitedly at the first person he sees (which is you, sorry). Pess may or may not brace his front paws on your thigh or any part of you he can reach, tail wagging with anticipation. It's a new friend. New friend!!! On the bright side, he's a pretty clean dog. NEW FRIEND!!!

Edgeworth doesn't care, and gasps at this public display of affection.]

Pess, no. [That firm "no" is all it takes for Pess to behave, although his tail is still wagging like crazy and he's panting and grinning as a dog would. Edgeworth sighs, shaking his head. He's quick to apologize.] I'm sorry; he enjoys meeting new people.

[Far more than his master.]

[OPTION B: SHOPPING DISTRICT

There's a cleaning robot. It's doing its business, sweeping up some debris from a nearby food stall. Suddenly, out of nowhere comes this border collie. He bounds over to the robot, starts sniffing it, and promptly raises one leg ominously over the poor thing.

What do you do, responsible citizen of Cerealia? What do you do - well, while Edgeworth hasn't caught up with his dog, anyway?]

[OPTION C: GARDENS

Pess is a pro at getting people to play with him. So while you're there, you may just find this dog walking up to you with a stick, or a ball, in his mouth. He drops this at your feet, wanting a game of fetch. If you take too long to decide what to do, he'll just sit down, tail wagging happily and staring up at you with those big pleading puppy eyes.

Edgeworth is close by. He'll be looking for his dog when Pess takes a bit too long to get back to him.]

[OPTION D: GARDENS/SHOPPING DISTRICT/RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT/POLICE DEPT.

Drop something? If you did, you might just find this dog picking it up and offering it back to you suddenly before Edgeworth can act. Yeah, I guess Edgeworth is in this prompt too. Thank his dog. And the master, maybe. THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLES...er, peoples and doge.]

[OPTION E: WILDCARD

Do you want doge somewhere else? Let me know if you want another prompt!]

Comments

[prosecutory]

They're not the same word. [More importantly, he's clearly bristled by the comment about his dog being better with a different owner. Excuse you, dude.]

And what kind of owner would he be better with, dare I ask?

[sayonaradumbass]

Might as well be. He looks like a...a Monty to me!

[he's going to get a terrible middle name at this rate]

One who gives him a name reflecting his character. One who doesn't have ruffles stuffed up his ass...

[prosecutory]

[That last comment makes him scowl deeper.]

Must names always reflect one's character?

[Don't people have freedom of speech and expression? That includes naming their pets!]

[sayonaradumbass]

Yeah. Especially the names of animals, Ruffles. Something like Monty would have been way more intimidating!

[scowls right on back]

[prosecutory]

Dog names don't have to be intimidating.

[He narrows his eyes.]

And my name isn't Ruffles.

[sayonaradumbass]

Yeah they do! So no one kicks 'em around.

Ruffles is a lot more fittin' than whatever your real name is.

[prosecutory]

No one should kick dogs around, period. [Edgeworth's glare is colder now.] Or push nicknames onto people.

[sayonaradumbass]

No shit. But you got pieces of shit out there that do that. [glares just as cold] Well maybe people should lighten up a bit and obtain good taste somehow.

[prosecutory]

Hmph. There is nothing wrong with my taste.

[Pess came back with the stick while they were at it, and Edgeworth gets down to pat his dog on the head.

Pess doesn't seem to mind his owner's taste, it seems.]

[sayonaradumbass]

It sucks. It sucks dick, man.

[Because the dog is innocent...sweet, sweet and innocent. Kaneda barely resists reaching down to pet him too...]

[prosecutory]

But there is something wrong with your language.

[Pess lets Kaneda pet him while Edgeworth sniffs in disdain and shakes his head.]

[sayonaradumbass]

So? There's something wrong with the stick up your ass. Might wanna see a doctor, right, Fido?

[he sing-songs this as he scratches behind the ears]

[prosecutory]

I thought you wanted to call him Monty.

[Pess wags his tail happily, not really caring what Kaneda calls him.]

[sayonaradumbass]

[Kaneda is too busy cooing rather embarrassingly at Pess either way]

That could be his middle name...or his alias.

[prosecutory]

Dogs don't need middle names or aliases.

[Why is he even having this conversation?]

[sayonaradumbass]

Yes they do! How do you know they don't, asshole? God, you're a stick in the mud. A stick he can't even fetch!

[prosecutory]

And how do you know they do?

[That comeback is swift and smooth.]

[sayonaradumbass]

[unlike a smoothly shaven butthole]

Why would they wag 'em otherwise?

[prosecutory]

[He has no time for this. Edgeworth makes a noise that is a cross between a sigh and a snarl. More sigh than snarl, certainly, but the snarl is there, right at the end.

Someone has reached the end of his patience.]

Tsk. This is a waste of time. [He gestures to Pess.] Come, Pess. [Then he starts walking away. The dog stares up longingly at Kaneda before trotting away behind Edgeworth.]

[sayonaradumbass]

Whaaaatever, Ruffles. Bye, Fido Pesscott Ravenger!

[as disappointed as he is to see the dog go, he'll move on, too. and maybe he's waving at the dog, shut up]