[closed] every path is nothing but pain and suffering

[ohspearme]

Who: Harada Sanosuke ohspearme & various other people (starters below)
When: Up to about a week after the event? So ICly end of October, beginning of November
Where: All over the place
What: Sano gets to play damage control after the disaster that was his body-snatching. And also go drinking. A lot.
Rating/Warning: ANGST, booze, probably language, possibly violence???

Comments

[ohspearme]

[Sano watches Heisuke's face closely, his heart lifting at the sight of that smile, however hesitant it is, but then it fades so quickly. But Sano watches and he listens, like he always does when it really matters. It's clear that Heisuke has a lot weighing on him, even more than Sano actually knew about.

But don't they all have things hanging over them? Things they'd not always like to talk about or think about. It sucks, but that's a part of life. They just have to figure out how to deal with it all. And since Heisuke has chosen to be this honest with Sano, there's no way he'd show the other man away. Besides, from Sano's viewpoint, this worry of Heisuke's isn't some big, tragic stumbling block in their friendship. It's just a part of his life.

So he gets up and retrieves the two cups of tea (now cold, unfortunately) and sets one down in front of Heisuke before settling back down beside him this time.]

Sounds like it was a pride issue more than anything. Some people are like that, though. And I get it. Pride's an important thing. But it can be a real stupid thing, too.

[He sips some of his tea and makes a face, setting the cup down without a word.]

'Cause if you're gonna choose pride over a friend, then you're the biggest fool out there. But what I don't get is why would you wanna choose anything superficial over a friend. If it's money or power or your own damn pride, none of that's gonna be there with you to share a stupid joke or a drink. None of that's gonna watch your back unconditionally. None of that's actually fulfilling. You know?

[Sano drapes his arm around Heisuke's shoulders, tugging him close.]

Now, if you think me an' Shinpachi are gonna give a shit 'cause you're apparently loaded, then say it right now. Otherwise, you gotta know that we like you 'cause we like you. That's it.

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

I guess so...

[ He keeps quiet through everything, only answering the part about choosing something superficial over a friend. He'd very nearly done the same thing, choosing a girl that doesn't even like him over friends. It's kind of a sobering thought to him.

But then Sano says something that makes him lift his head, blinking owlishly at him. Best to correct one thing right here and now before things get out of hand. Or, well, as out of hand as they did before. ]

But... I'm not. Loaded, I mean. He might be, but I'm not.

[ Lowering his eyes again to stare at the cold tea, Heisuke bites his lip, considering his words carefully. It's not something he ever really wants to talk about, but here it is: ]

I only get anything from him because I don't acknowledge him or look for him, and what I get is probably just pocket change where he's concerned. I mean, you pay off the ones you want to keep quiet. I guess all I'm really doing is taking a bribe to keep my mouth shut, which is really easy because I don't really have any reason not to, but if I did, it'd cause a lotta problems, y'know?

[ And because clearly this will make them reconsider liking him for who he is and not what he is, he continues. His very own "deep dark secret". ]

...Toudou Takayuki. I guess it doesn't really matter much since we're here and not at home, but... y'know, I think that's one of the first times I've ever said his name. I was kind of an accident, so it's not like I've ever really had it easy because of him, y'know? I'm not gonna inherit anything and he probably wouldn't care if I died. He's probably counting on it since it'd mean he wouldn't have to buy silence anymore.

[ Hope you like daddy issues, Sano.]

[ohspearme]

[Even if Sano doesn't like daddy issues, he's still going to stick around and listen some more. The confession that Heisuke is a bastard child is honestly surprising, though, but not in any bad way. It's just not something Sano would ever imagine, even if it is a common enough occurrence.

The hush money talk doesn't sit well with him, because Heisuke's right. It is a bribe. But even if he were to cause a stir, with his lack of any social standing, the most trouble he'd probably do to his father is make him look bad - but how bad, Sano doesn't know, because, again, illegitimate children are a thing that everyone knows about, even if they don't talk about them. And then at the end of the day, Heisuke would probably lose said bribe in the best of outcomes. And the worst...

He doesn't want to think about that.]

It's not a desirable situation, but it probably is the best one for everyone. But like you said, we're here. I don't wanna tell you to just forget about it, 'cause if you've been living with that your whole life, you can't just clap your hands and be done with it. You gotta stop talking about dying, though.

[Squeezing his arm around Heisuke a little tighter, Sano lets out a long, loud breath.]

But like I said before, you're still Heisuke and that's all that matters to us.

[The corner of his lips turns up, obviously to put some teasing back into their relationship.]

You numbnuts.

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

[ Rocking back onto his heels enough to pull his legs out from under himself, Heisuke stretches them out in front of him, leaning into that arm and sighing, the breath punctuated by the click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth. ]

Saaano-san, are you sure you should be calling me that? I'm not the one who almost got his broken, y'know?

[ Everything Sano says is true and he knows it, but at the same time, he can't help feeling like he's still on the outside looking in. It's not the best feeling, and not one he really had at home before leaving with Itou, but ever since arriving here-- no, ever since Zelien, he's felt like there's something off, something they're not saying. ]

It could be worse, though. I mean, I could do what Sannan-san did and talk about the ochimizu. [ He tilts his head back to look up at him, a smile on his face. To him, talking about dying is the lesser of two evils, because while dying isn't something he wants to do... again... becoming a rasetsu is even more of a big check in the No box. ] I'm starting to get good at it, though! The d-word, I mean... not that it's something to be all that proud of, 'cause I'd really rather not be just useless baggage to everybody, y'know?

[ His own attempt at trying to reinsert some sort of playful tone is a half-hearted laugh, the smile still in place. Or out of place as the case may be. ]