[closed] every path is nothing but pain and suffering

[ohspearme]

Who: Harada Sanosuke ohspearme & various other people (starters below)
When: Up to about a week after the event? So ICly end of October, beginning of November
Where: All over the place
What: Sano gets to play damage control after the disaster that was his body-snatching. And also go drinking. A lot.
Rating/Warning: ANGST, booze, probably language, possibly violence???

Comments

[nostatus]

[ Yeah, he gets that it's harder for Sano. Even if it's new for him, thinking about all this.. well, love and romance stuff, he can sort of understand it already. It must feel like shit to not be able to protect something that important to you (he already felt terrible when Heisuke nearly died back home, when he died in Zelien, when he died here - and Heisuke is not even his responsibility in that sense, Heisuke's a warrior, he can fight better than most people Shinpachi has known, so if it's someone you love, someone who's not supposed to fight to begin with..) and even though it's still a little sour that the other kept it from him all this time, he won't keep a grudge against Sano for it.

Especially not with how defeated he looks as he says it. It's very different than the Sano he's used to, so tired and hollow.

Honestly, it just means he'll have to keep an eye on it more in the future. Sano can handle himself just fine, he's convinced of that even after this, but.. he at least needs his best friend to look a little after him in that sense. If Sano won't talk about shit he should be airing, then Shinpachi will make him air it. As hard as it is for him with how oblivious he can be to the small things.. well, if it's for Sano, then why wouldn't he try his damnest? It's the least the other deserves.

So Shinpachi smiles - a little bit, not as wide as usually, since all of this is heavy - and slowly removes his hands off Sano's clothes to instead put a hand on the back of that head that's leaning against him. Almost like a parent might do to an upset child, really. And Sano's last words actually do bring a small amused sound across his lips. ]

Why do you think it comes in bursts? No one can survive doing that shit all the time. Well, except maybe me.

[ At least he tries to keep the mood light like that..

His voice is a little softer now too though - probably since he doesn't want to yell in the other's ear with it being so close, or maybe so Sano can keep his dignity in case anyone wanders by, so they at least won't overhear the conversation. (Instead they'll just look really homo as always, standing here like this.) ]

'sides, this is enough for now. You don't have to throw it out all at once. Just.. [ ... ] Just remember I'm here for you, 'kay? I know you're just gonna call me a softy and make fun of me forever again when you're sober, but I'm exactly s'posed to be here so you don't have to deal with that stuff alone. Whether it's about demons, or battles, or problems, or.. well, even women, even if you know I'm not good with that.. I'll be the one to listen these times. And help too, since you know what I'm like. Can't sit still and all.

That's called [ bromance ] friendship, y'know.

[ohspearme]

[Shinpachi doesn't even have an answer for his first question. It's a little disappointing, because it would be nice and easy to have an answer, to be able to do something to make things better, but of course that's not how it works. Sano knows that, even if he doesn't always want to accept it. But figuring out the real reason to fight for the impossible is something he'll have to do on his own. He can't fault Shinpachi for not having the answer. He can't really fault Shinpachi for anything right now, to be honest.

Because, just like Sano has known for as long as they've been friends, Shinpachi's still here for him. Even if they had to fight a little to get to this point. Even if Sano hasn't been completely honest up to this point. Even if Shinpachi has his own lady now.

(Sano remembers his first best friend and how things between the two of them had ended when his friend fell in love and ran off with a woman.)

And, no, he wouldn't usually want to be seen like this, vulnerable and leaning - physically and emotionally - on his best friend, but that hand on his head is somehow comforting and he can't help but lift his arms and grasp the fabric on Shinpachi's back. Tightly. As if to tell Shinpachi never to leave, even though he knows his friend wouldn't do it by choice.]

...You're my best friend, Shinpachi.

[I love you, man.]

But I dunno, you're doin' better'n me on the woman front last I looked.

[He's still amazed by that, to be honest.]

[nostatus]

[ This feels much better than just now. Sure, Shinpachi will just about yell at anyone given the right circumstances, but it's not as if he enjoys feeling angry or yelling at people he cares about this deeply. He prefers standing here like this, their bond mended - was it even really broken, even for a moment? - and just hearing those words and all they imply between the two of them. Shinpachi might be one of the most independent forces this world has known and never really lets anything tie him down, but Sano's got to be the most consistent force he'd actually like to keep around.

(He feels those hands clinging to his back, and he's practically sure of it in this moment. There's no way Sano would just let him leave the Shinsengumi all by himself. Sano leaves with him in the future, and that's how they both survive the war.

Sano's just got to be the other survivor, there's no other way.)

Shinpachi lets out a small laugh though at that last statement. ]

Yeah. Dunno how that happened either. [ At least he's honest, since he is at least that self-aware.. he knows he doesn't really have a lot of Sano's good qualities that women seem to like about him. But he seems to have done something right with Leanne, anyway. ] Maybe it's since I don't fall for girls who're sticking around 300 men all day long.

[ It's a small joke though, little more than a light tease. He's just doing his best, since.. well, honestly, this is probably the first time that it's been Sano who was leaning (metaphorically) on him rather than the other way around outside of battle. And he's not about to immediately ruin this new development, especially when it's better for Sano, too.

It's why he breathes in, and-- ]

So next time you're gonna kick some demon ass, take me along too, got it? What's there that the two of us couldn't at least try to tackle before, huh..? [ Sure, they might not be able to beat a demon either with the two of them, but at least their chance is no longer just impossible, period, end of sentence.

It's the only answer he can provide, after all, even if it took a moment. ]