Bright lights! An abundance of color! A cacophony of laughter and delighted (?) shrieks! Welcome, everyone, to the carnival! Enough of those nonsense protein shakes and that hoity-toity recycling; it's time to let loose, have some fun, and live a little! No judgment will be allowed today, not when everyone’s dressed up in ridiculous costumes and eating those unnecessarily huge turkey legs (it... is turkey, right?). For you see, CERES has invited the Traveling Circus of Tjghsldiwk (they hail from a different planet, but here's a hint: the h is silent) to bring some joy to the colonists. This is a safe place to let your inner wild child out, really. Definitely safe. Promise.
Yet for those who are a little less easily convinced to follow the sounds of laughter and amusement (bless your sensible hearts), they will find themselves grabbed and forcibly dragged by a pair of friendly souls in matching costumes. Everyone should be able to enjoy the festivities, don’t you think? Can’t have them missing out on all this jolly good, innocent fun!
The Public Announcement System crackles with... well, a fit of coughing first. But then a gravelly voice speaks! It seems the ringmaster has an announcement for you all. What joyous news can he bring?  Listen... I know that we’re supposed to keep these idiots entertained for at least another day or two but the machinery’s starting to complain. I think I heard the gates of the petting zoo groan – they’re on their last legs.
... Wait, this isn’t the direct line
Oh.
Ohohoho!! Have a great time, everyone! Everything is perfectly fine!
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PHASE I [ 11 00 ] Come one, come all!! There’s quite a large amount of people here, isn’t there? You’ll find yourself tugged this way and that – up until you get dragged right into a changing booth. The helpful attendant meets you with a worryingly large grin – how is her face not breaking? – before pushing you right through the curtain. Then you’ll be given your choice of one of these lovely garments to change into. Look, one of them has to match your skintone, right? Don’t be picky about it! You also have... 90 seconds to figure out how to wear it before you’re tossed out into the middle of the crowd again. Have a good festival!
If you’re not willing to put on the outfits though, that’s fine. Instead, they’ll top you off with a cape and crown, shoving you out onto a... stage? Your adoring public cheers for you, yells your name, and throws confetti in your honor! Then a jester appears again, announcing your grand title:
The Ugliest in All of Cerealia.
Don't worry, that's just your introduction to the carnival; enjoy the rest of your time here! (They may or may not have given you back your clothing.)
PHASE II [ 1600 ] Do you hear that? Cymbals crashing together, trumpets blaring off-tune, the march of absurdly tired feet – a parade is coming! Best move off to the side before an acrobat quite literally tumbles into you. If you are an unfortunate casualty, they’ll actually just start to fall asleep on you because they’re tired… so very, very tired.
Yet the parade continues to march on without them and you can let yourself be distracted by the impressive jumping around and festive partygoers (who seem to be joining in the parade as they please, in various states of undress). But be wary. Distraction will only make you easier prey for the very hungry caterpillar that’s coming up the street next. Run if you can, but it has so very many legs and it’s coming after you.
For those unable to make it away from the caterpillar, they will find themselves gulped right into its gross, drooling mouth – and about five minutes later, they’ll be released out again onto the streets covered in a pink slime. It looks like you won't be able to free yourself from the stuff, so hopefully you can find a friend to get some help! Or one of the strangers around you? Unfortunately, when a kind soul finally comes by to pull you out of the slime, they’ll find that the outside of the gunk is not only immensely sticky but also slippery. If they're not careful, you'll both end up stuck to the gunk together.
You both better get out of that stuff quick because once someone joins you, the slime starts to move. Quick and gooey, it'll pull you and the hapless soul with you down the street at a much too quick pace. Hopefully you won't slide into too many people as you skid your way through the streets of the Entertainment District like some sort of demented Katamari Ball. This is why you should never trust giant bugs!
PHASE III [ xxxx ] In a smaller booth, toward the outskirts of the carnival, some may find a familiar face manning a quiet little shack on her own. Although those who have been in the colony long enough may have first encountered her as an 8-bit version of herself, Aria the fortune-teller is now back and more than willing to drag unsuspecting people into her hands again. Once you step into her stall, she takes one long look at you before sliding over a fortune cookie and a mask. What do you mean you didn’t ask for a mask? That's too bad, because it's yours now. She won't say anything more than that, giving nothing more than a quiet dismissal with a hand and an enigmatic smile to match.
When you step back outside, you’ll find that you just can’t get rid of the mask. If you toss it into a trash bin, it’ll be right back in your pocket. Throw it at a friend? It’ll be in your hand in the next second. Throw it away enough times and it’ll suddenly plant itself on your face -- which leads to all the alien carnival goers in the nearby vicinity suddenly going still with fear before moving to get as far away from you as quickly as possible. Well... you seem to be able to take it off for now if you still want to enjoy the carnival. It just won't go away, and every time you try to throw it away, it'll attach itself to your face. Might as well just keep it.
But... still, it's strange how none of the aliens running the carnival will look you in the eye now, isn't it?
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] For those who aren’t interested in dealing with the abundance of people, there’s also an assortment of critters gathered around for the petting zoo! They all seem to follow a general theme… kind of. That might be floppy ears and a tail if you... squint. The alien staff is right there and quick to ask you not to worry, they're perfectly harmless -- they don't eat humans! It would be bad for their diet, so feel free to pet them, if you can gather enough courage to do so.
Unfortunately, it seems as though this part of the circus was not put together very well; the rickety fences and cages don't really seem to do much against these giant...creatures. Towards the end of the circus' time here, it looks like those cages will start breaking down more and more, too.
The animals rattle the makeshift fences of the petting zoo, until finally, the fences just... collapse. Oops. The ground shakes as the animals stomp and immediately move to break out of their little ring. Well, would you look at that? You’ve apparently found yourself in the middle of a little stampede -- and those warnings about these animals not eating humans doesn't seem to hold much weight when now they're looking at you -- and they look pretty hungry.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] Left and right, there are voices shouting for your attention. "Hey pretty young miss!" or "Excuse me, you stud!" or "Look at this, jackass!" – that said, aliens think that you all manage to look the same, so who knows if they’re yelling at you in particular – and they’re all daring you to come and try your hand at their carnival game.
It’s run of the mill stuff: shooting games, tests of strength, and knocking down a couple of milk bottles. You might actually be doing well! Or... you might be embarrassing yourself in front of whatever cute person you’re trying to impress! But regardless, in the last allotted ten seconds of your game, no matter what, you’ll find your point score plummeting right into the negatives. Did you get a bullseye? What do you know, that’s now worth -1000 points! You missed? -5000 points.
The stall assistant seems to be having a grand old time, laughing at your pain and when the clock finally runs out, they'll give you a large grin. "Look at that score! Well, you know what that means, don’t you? Now, we win you!" With that, metallic tentacles suddenly sprout from the booth itself, looking to capture you and whoever you’re with. Welcome to the carnival, now you're one of the prizes. And it seems you'll be here for quite some time. That is, of course, unless someone can win you back from these really horribly rigged games.
Looks like you'd better get comfortable hanging motionless from a display, like an oversized stuffed animal. You'll be here for a while.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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ota!
[ It's funny how Adolf assumes, every time, that nothing could come along and possibly be worse than the previous thing that happened in Cerealia. It's funny because he's always wrong, and it's funny because every time something comes to ruin his tentatively quiet daily routine, he's baffled by the sudden turn of events. He should really have learned to accept these absurdities by now.
Preamble aside, what's happened this time— this fucking time— is that he's been stripped of his jacket. Which isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things, minus the fact that he has his whole fucked-up burnt-off face on display, but that isn't all: it never is, is it.
The most offensive part of this fiasco is that they've tied the bellydancing bra on top of his sensible collared shirt, and that shit is at least 3 sizes too small, and he's struggling to get it off— why is it so tight and why is it padded— while he scrambles to find cover.
For people who know him, they might be a little alarmed that quiet, scary Mr. Reinhardt is muttering German curses under his breath as he careens into a dark corner. With a bra on.
Weird. ]
PHASE IV
[ Someone is going to get mad at Adolf for being rude to alien animals, but beggars can't be choosers, can they? When something that looks like a cross between an elephant and someone's garden starts coming after you, the wisest thing would probably be to, you know. Do something about it.
So. He really wants to conserve the amount of medication he uses here because he's running out, BUT. He reaches inside his pocket, taps out a small pile of white powder onto the back of his hand. Inhales it through his nose, because... because.
ANYWAY, the important thing here is that a moment later, there's a crack of lightning and the nearest floppy-eared monster topples sideways onto the ground. For anyone within speaking range, eelkun is gonna turn around and offer a very helpful: ] Stay back.
[ Cthulu elephant incoming, though! Help him out, or panic?! ]
BONUS
[ Are you hanging around as a carnival prize right now? Because this guy is passing through, and gives whoever he happens to see a very dubious look. That's... definitely not whatever you're being advertised as, be it 'Fluffy Bunny Toy' or 'Howler Monkey Toy'.
He's actually pretty sure that that's a person being used as a carnival prize, holy shit. ]
...Looks like you might need help. [ you think ]
bonus;
Actually, yes. You'd be right.
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[ Wow, what an incredibly rude thing to say... but this is also him trying to be efficient, so bear with him. ]
How did you get up there?
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[ GO... FIGURE. ]
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phase i
though the initial shock's enough to make lop give a muffled yelp in shock, he's quick to fall silent, and his gaze flickers nervously to look adolf over. he barely seems to pay attention to the scarred portion of adolf's face, instead looking a little more dismayed as he confirms that, yes, this stranger is apparently struggling to extract himself from a bra tied over his shirt. ]
-- ah -- um. [ a breathless squeak as he tries to think of the most appropriate thing to say. ] Sorry. For -- being here.
[ no, wait, he can probably say something better than that. ]
I mean -- . Do. You need any help? With ... that.
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He's caught mid-motion with his fingers grappling against wire hooks when Lop speaks.
It takes every inch of his admittedly herculean self-restraint to not curse again. ]
—Don't apologize for something you had no control over. [ Being at the wrong place at the wrong time, he means. He manages to keep his voice in its usual, quiet monotone. ] ...I won't, either.
[ Neither of them should be apologizing, and Adolf steadies himself with a long exhale. ]
...Lend me a hand.
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Right. Sor -- ... um.
[ it's practically ingrained habit by now, and lop has to forcefully swallow back another apology, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. never mind. no use rambling. ]
Excuse me, then. [ a nervous dip of the head before he ducks around to adolf's back, hand hovering uneasily as he squints at the bra hook. ] Sorry, this might take a moment. But I think I can get it.
[ this would probably be a bit easier with both hands. adolf might feel the way lop's fingers graze against his back, knuckles pressing in lightly as he tries to maneuver the hooks with one hand; after a moment of fidgeting, there's a quiet huff, and then the hook comes free. ]
-- ah, there!
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iv
[he's currently ducked behind the leg of the creature that...looks like a garbage shoot willy mammoth fucker. it doesn't seem too bothered, yet, because it's eating...he doesn't want to know what it is.]
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[ As if Kaneda intended to run into him by his own volition, what a thought. But here's Adolf, moseying towards this punkass kid and motioning for him to stay away from that mammoth before it goes rogue. It probably will, let's be real. ]
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bonus.
Please don't worry about me.
[ actually, PLEASE DO. ]
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If that's supposed to inspire faith in me about this situation, you're not doing a good job of it.
[ A sigh. ]
Is this game rigged?
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phase 1?!
So she follows him--] Adolf?
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He doesn't balk, not exactly, at the sound of her voice— but he does offer her a way out of this mess, a very firm, steady: ]
—I'm fine. Go. [ When has he ever been honest when he's said something like this, though... he's so obvious. ]
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bonus!
[Touka, don't be rude to random strangers???? But she's been dangling here for like half an hour and this shit is, uh. Really annoying, to put it lightly. She wants to slice the stall assistant in half and throw his disgusting remains off a cliff, but that would make too much of a scene.
So here she is. Suffering. Please help.]
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He takes the latter.
The carnie starts shouting insults at him when he pushes past the booth proper and makes his way to the inside of the gaming tent, but all Adolf really does in response to that is.
Reach out with one hand, put it on the carnie's neck. And zap him lightly with an electrical current. The guy drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. ]
...If anyone asks, you didn't see anything. [ A wry joke. ]
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iv!!
Don't think Genos is going to be running away from some Cthulu elephant just because someone told him to. Well, maybe if that someone was his master but that's neither here nor there. ]
This isn't anything I can't handle.
[ Though given how Genos is designed for destruction verses alternatives this might not go as smoothly as he may make it out to be. ]
i can't believe i'm going to give you a serious tag instead of shitposting
Have you taken care of giant monsters before?
[ That's a somewhat dry joke, as the weird tentacle mammoth lunges towards the both of them. This is like every fucking anime where the OP protagonists treat giant behemoths like tiny pomeranians.
Regardless: your move, toaster strudel. ]
new challenge the first to ship post loses
ship post. ship post, naru???
LMFAO DON't LOOK AT ME
continues to stare at you, unblinking
phase iv;
I will be fine.
[ It's automatic, a reflex to avoid worrying people. He can take quite the amount of punishment...(though he'd rather avoid getting shocked repeatedly this time.) ]
Do you need my assistance?
[ Honestly, he's curious as to what Adolf's capable of as well, and that crack of lightning isn't as sufficient an answer as he'd like. ]
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So he shakes his head— despite the fact that he doesn't doubt that Alcor could use some sort of alien powers to kill this monster in one second— and pivots back towards his 'enemy'. ]
No. I can handle it.
[ A hand goes into his pants pocket, fishes out two throwing knives that stay in his hand for precisely two seconds before they embed themselves in this poor elephant-monster's foot. A flash of blue-white lighting later, and said elephant-monster is down for the count, next to his other floppy friend. ]
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Phase I
Hubba hubba AWOOGA! ♥ Hey, hot stuff! Don't look so gloomy over here!
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This kid... this punk. ]
...There are better ways to pass the time in this place. Go find them.
[ Translation: 'I am very embarrassed right now'. ]
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i.....
BUT ANYWAY-- Kaoru will... finish up the game that's being played, first. Not gonna waste those credits!! But then, after that, time to go trot on after Adolf into his little dark corner!]
Excuse me! [Is he still struggling with his bra death trap over here??] You looked like you were having a difficult time...
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However, now he's caught in a dark corner, in a shady section between two tents, holding up womanswear and staring at it very intently...
...on second thought, this isn't better. ]
—It's... not what it looks like.
[ His coolguy facade even slips for a moment, overshadowed by his shame. His true colors, revealed so unceremoniously... ]
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iv
Hm? Wouldn't it be easier with some help?
[That Cthulu elephant coming their way doesn't seem like the kind of thing you leave to one person to handle. I mean, just look at it run and how its face just...flops. Eghhh.]
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So. He doesn't do Naoki the disservice of dismissing him outright, and instead elects to walk a few paces to the side to give the kid some room. ]
That would depend on what you can do.
[ The monster in question looks Really Mad (for reasons unknown...) and stampedes around a bit before moving closer. ]
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