estoria | [1] with cereal, try milk

Entry tags:

[1] with cereal, try milk

Who: Gintoki and anybody (OTA)
When: Soon after Gintoki's return to Cerealhell
Where: Just answer the door, it's your house.
What: Gintoki's trying out this job again, now that he's back. He's a bit more suspicious about ViViD these days.
Warnings: Lazy, prickly samurai warning. Maybe some language.

[There might be something familiar about the scene in front of you, but also maybe not. Anyhow, when there's a knock at the door, if the door is opened, the only thing outside is a silver-haired man dressed in a white and pink striped delivery uniform. He's got reddish eyes that seem to be completely uninterested in whoever he's looking at, and there's an air of total laziness about him.

He seems to have a dolly carrying crates of milk that he's lounging on, also lazily. He's got a box of milk in his hand, calmly sipping at it from a straw.

When the door opens, he'll reach out, setting the now-empty box of milk in the hand of whoever opens it.]

Aah, that'll be 3 credits.

[What is this sales technique.]

[ooc. so I'm trying this game again. . .feel free to slam the door in his face or whatever you'd like o/]

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[See, Zoro does actually like a glass of milk after a hard workout. But this?

Just chucks the empty box right back at the guy's head.]

The hell's this?

[He'll turn away just in time for the box to bounce off the side of his head, rather than smack him in the face. Gintoki will pick it up calmly, giving Zoro a somewhat confused look back.]

Oi oi, don't be so rude to someone just doing a job. It's your delivery. I'm on time and everything. I woke up this morning not even wanting to get out of bed.

[He'll take a whole crate and set it down hard right at Zoro's feet. One corner might actually land on Zoro's foot, so watch out. ]

This is your order.

Edited 2016-02-09 16:53 (UTC)

[deftly pulls his toe out of the way in time, and then leans on the door frame, scowling. He doesn't remember the cook ever receiving orders for milk.

But, hey, milk.]

Yeah, but there's a problem, buddy - I didn't order this. [then he turns and calls into the apartment] Oi, Luffy! Did you tell some guy you'd buy milk?

[comes out from wherever he was wearing a fake eyeglasses and mustache ensemble and peeks at the guy over Zoro's shoulder]

Nope. Why are you gonna give us some?

Look, all I know is that there's milk I'm supposed to deliver. See here, see here - [He'll smack at a notepad of paper he's holding with the back of his hand and no, those weren't doodles on the side so get past that already.]

Don't tell me I'm gonna have to go back to my boss and take a hit to my paycheck? Just what are you gonna do about that already?

[Wow, trying to guilt-trip pirates? That takes balls.

Zoro grins widely]

Not a damn thing. Your mistakes ain't my problem. But if the price is right we might want some anyway, so maybe you'll get lucky.

[At least the false irritation leaves his face as he moves closer, leaning against the building and gesturing to his crates of milk. ]

So you're in the market, that's what you're saying. I see, I see. You know, there's a lot of people out there who wouldn't be able to appreciate this kind of thing and, you know, they just don't have any taste at all. So for someone so discerning, like you are, I can give you, like, 'buy one get one free'.

That sort of thing.

Edited 2016-03-01 03:37 (UTC)

[he does know that that's a deal. Even without their cook to hold them to a budget.]

So what's the actual price of a full carton of milk that you haven't slobbered your germs all over?

[Yona yawns and rubs her eyes as she heads to answer the door. She barely slept that night, and she is not happy to be woken like this.

She opens the door and finds something shoved into her hands.]

I beg your pardon?

[She looks down at the box in her hand and shakes it hesitantly. Is it ... empty?]

Morning delivery, just like you asked for.

[There are a few more boxes of milk being put into her sleepy hands now. Those ones aren't empty at all.]

I'll be on my way once the bill is settled.

[She straightens, trying to be dignified even in her exhaustion.]

I'm afraid you're mistaken. I didn't order any milk.

[Now comes the difficult task of handing the milk back to him.]

No? I've got an order right here, it's got your name on it.

I mean, if someone handed me something this good, I'd buy it up in the blink of an eye. You gotta try it.

[He'll stick a new straw into a new box of milk, handing it to her.]

Go ahead, try it out.

It can't — I never made that order!

[She still takes the box from his hand, because instinct. And then he tells her to try it out, so she does.]

It's very good! [You know, for milk. But she wants to say something nice.]

[Ah... it's that great silver-haired man! And he bears more of that great strawberry milk. Lee nods and tears well up in his eyes as he starts pelting Gintoki with various credit pieces.]

Please... Take as many as you would like! I would be glad to buy many from you, sir!!

[He'll at least shield his face from any pieces hitting him.

Honestly, what did he even expect from someone like Lee.]

Oi oi, I know your manga ended but you don't gotta make up for it with enthusiasm. I'll sell you as many as you want.

[Have a crate, Lee. He'll set it down on the porch.]

It's 40 credits for a crate. There's a discount, you know.

Manga...? [He just repeats that quietly to himself with a blink, but he quickly focuses his attention on the crate.]

Yes! I will buy the entire crate, then! So I should give you... hm...

...How many credits have I given to you already? [He motions towards the credit pieces he's already thrown, many of which are probably scattered on the ground now.]

Huh! Finally a decent customer. Bowlcut-kun, you won't regret this.

[He'll heft a crate over, setting it just inside Lee's door. He's somehow pretty careful with it, even taking the time not to jostle the milk too much with a reverent expression on his face. Somehow, he's willing to do this work.]

Aah, you know, I'm not supposed to handle money that isn't given to me. [making crap up 101] Maybe you could count all that up and hand it over, you know, so we can do this fairly.

Edited 2016-02-15 20:49 (UTC)

[Rock Lee nods eagerly.]

Of course! In this exchange between two men, I cannot be half-hearted on my part! Gintoki-san, is it? [He thinks he remembers Katsura referring to him as such during their first meeting.] I promise, I will do my best to gather up my money!! I will not let you down!

[He then intensely gets to work picking up his credits, practically dancing around Gintoki in the process.]

[Kaneda just squints at him for a couple of seconds, that's until he starts stealing the product]

Fuck no! You give me the credits-- matter of fact, give me more milk, you ass.

[Wrong move, buddy. Maybe your manga was legendary and all that, but Gintoki doesn't have time to deal with shitty kids.

Just as fast as Kaneda touches a box of milk, he'll find himself shoved up against the wall outside on the porch. It's probably a bit ridiculous to see someone in his pink striped delivery suit looking as threatening as Gintoki looks now.]

Look at you, oi. Touching the - my strawberry milk with some really filthy hands. Don't you know how to treat it right? You can't just grab a bunch of it at once. You gotta pick the right one carefully, and give it your full attention. So what are you gonna do, hah?

[what the hell is he even talking about]

What the hell are you talking about.

[look here, no one needed perm gags in his legendary manga for it to become the one to rule them all, alright. Or at least that titan shit.

Kaneda doesn't take kindly to being shoved around by a man and then lectured on groping?? so:]

All you gotta do is grab it in the right spot and it's all yours.

[and then step on Gin's foot.]

OI!

[that really. . . really friggin' hurt. Gintoki just drops Kaneda then; he's gonna fuss over this foot now.]

A delinquent! I'm being harassed by a delinquent, oi, someone put a stop to this senseless violence! This kid needs a hard day of work at a shitty job so he can learn to be a man already! Someone make it happen!

[And then he'll probably give a swift kick to Kaneda's butt if he's still on the ground.]

You're the delinquent! An an asshole...you're stealing food right outta my mouth! You heathen! Baby boomer! Thief!

[the butt has been kicked, he stumbles around and throws a fist]

[ The person on the other side of the door isn't quite who he had expected to see, but as it always is with Sougo, he doesn't let his surprise show on his face. He only stares with that same blank expression - up at Gintoki's face, and then down at the bottle in his hands.

He then goes back into his apartment to get something. It's a black plastic bag with foul-smelling food and general waste inside. There's probably some vomit, too, from when those noodles didn't agree with him two days ago. Sougo was going to take out the trash anyway, so ...

He'll just plop it in Gintoki's hands. Some of the disgusting gunk inside slips out too. ]

10 credits.

Ha. . ah?

[That's right. For just a moment, Gintoki's so surprised to see his good friend Sofa that he doesn't quite register what the kid has put in his hand.

But then he'll look down, and promptly drop whatever the hell that was. Seriously kid, what was wrong with you.]

I'm not paying. Who are you again. . . ?

[That dead fish expression immediately goes back onto Gintoki's face as he reaches out to pat at Sofa's face like a blind man - with that now-dirty hand.]

[ This is really disgusting but with Sougo's limited emotional range, he can only stare blankly as Gintoki rubs his hand all over his face. There's only so much of this he can tolerate. If Gintoki continues, he should expect a violent retaliation very soon. ]

It's Sougo. Have you gone senile, Boss? Come to think of it, it's hard to tell how old you are with that white hair of yours --

[ Maybe Gintoki has always been a senior citizen. Maybe. ]

[After one more long wipe across the front of Sofia's shirt, he'll stop. ]

Oi, don't be so easily fooled by appearances. White hair's standard in manga, so for all you know I'm younger than I look even now, got it?

[banter aside, he's pretty curious.]

Just how long have you been here, anyway.

[Veronica looks down at the very light and obviously empty box in her hand, turning it to read the front.

"Strawberry Milk"

That actually sounded quite delicious.]

How much is it then for the full box?

. . . hah?

[He'll turn back to look at her, because apparently he got distracted by someone or something else outside.]

Wait, what?

It's 3 credits. Do you want more than one or something?

[does this guy even care about his job]

No, what I want is one that is not empty.

[So not the one he currently has in his hand.]

[ strawberry milk doesn't sound too bad, actually. but the one he's been handed feels suspiciously light. empty-light, in fact. his gaze shifts nervously from gintoki's face to the dolly and back before lop manages a weak smile. ]

... um. Sorry, but did you -- is there any chance this is the wrong carton?

[Hold the phone Lop. Gintoki's too busy staring at what an odd-looking creature Lop is before he even realizes he's been spoken to. He'll blink down at the carton of milk, then go back to examining Lop with a detached, bored looking expression.

Just what the heck are you, buddy. He's really puzzled by it. He'll clear his throat though, stop being so rude, and reply.]

Do. . . do you want a different one?

[He's seen a lot of odd things, but Lop has thrown him for one, for now.]

[ he wilts a little when the silence stretches just a few seconds too long, ears twitching back as he feels gintoki's stare, and lop quickly drops his gaze to avoid it. ]

Ah -- well. I mean. If you're selling them, I wouldn't mind buying one. But the one you gave me just feels a little, um. Light?

[ a nervous fidget before he rushes to add: ]

If -- it's not too much trouble, that is.

[ he knows full well that he probably shouldn't be buckling like this, but he's also terribly quick to get flustered when humans stare too much. ]

[ Oh hello, she knows you. ]

If granny shows you her boobs, will three credits be reduced?

I'd get more out of looking at a pair of satsuma. I could eat those too.

[he'll pick at his nose nonchalantly, then give his finger a flick.

Yeah, he only just remembers her, but he's not surprised.]

Sure you could, but satsumas are not as fun, right?

[ Well.

Chara just immediately throws it back in his face. They're tired, they're perpetually grumpy, and some ugly human just tried selling them an empty milk box??? ]

No.

[ ...yeah??? yeah. ]

[deflecting that milk box. Don't treat the milk so badly.]

Tch. It's not like some kid would have any money anyway. You wouldn't know how to enjoy this kinda thing either.

[Just what is this milk to him???]

I have money, thanks, I'm just not spending it on some plain old milk.

[ They have a job and everything. ...a horribly ironic job, but a job. ]

Especially not if you just drank out of it. Like, who the hell would actually pay for that?

_{[ The door opens and reveals (1) Elizabeth, perplexed by the milk carton he was just given by a familiar figure. He was aware that Gintoki had come back to this place, so it was a mystery why he or Katsura hadn't bothered to communicate with him lately.
In the background. There is Katsura talking in the background, but he isn't exactly seen yet: ]}

Ah. Trespassing is illegal. I'll call the authorities.
_{[ says the criminal. ]}

[Granted, he didn't realize right away that it was Elizabeth, not until he saw that flipper as he was setting the milk box into it.]

Eh . . . H-hey there.

[So this was where Zura was, still. maaan the duck was as creepy as ever. He'll look Elizabeth in the face (?) before calmly taking back the milk carton and throwing it into the apartment.

Maybe it'll hit something. He's gonna heft his milk crates though, looking as though he's ready to leave.]

_{[ Well, with Zura's luck, it does hit something— and that's Katsura in the back of his head.
Never mind whatever it is he was doing, he wheels around, peering out from behind Elizabeth.

It's a strawberry milk carton. Of course he should expect Gintoki there. ]}

Gintoki?
_{[ Zura also knew that Gintoki had been here for awhile now, but—
For some reason, he couldn't show his face to him. Maybe there's a big reason why. ]}

Ah, you came back to suffer with us; is that what you're doing?

Aah, that's exactly it. I'm an M now.

[That tone is so lazy, so nonchalant. It's so nonchalant, in fact, that it's hard to get anything out of it, and there's few clues to how he really feels. Instead, he'll open another carton of milk, poking a straw into the box and taking a nice long swallow.

Until the box is nearly empty, and then he'll start slurping it -- long, obnoxious slurps through the straw.

He won't stop until Zura says something else.]

_{[ Katsura is trying his best to ignore that irritating slurping, eyes squeezing shut. ]}
A-Ah, I see. I'm sure you have noticed but things haven't been going so well with me lately.
_{[ please pay attention to poor little him. ]}

It's been _{[ god that slurping is annoying ]} very rough lately, Gintoki.
_{[ slurping -- ]} Especially with Sakamoto now gone too.
And, well, something else of mine gone too, if you haven't noticed.

_{[ keep your patience, Zura. ]}

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[1] with cereal, try milk

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