( OPEN )

[swordsitter]

Who: swordhaus + cr
When: throughout june (+ the end of may, because i missed a month oops)
Where: the three apartments swordhaus uses..
What: june (+ may) catch-all
Rating/Warning: probably nothing, but i'll edit as necessary.

---

[ sword mafia at home. ]

Comments

IC 5/30-5/31; post-event

[horsepoop]

Closed to Haru

[So.

He died.

He died--and it's kind of funny, that he's alive to think about it. That he's here again, with the sound of snapped metal and the tang of blood in his mouth. But he'd known what he was doing. He'd made his decision, and made peace with it, more or less. He'd done what he'd done to save a friend, and whatever regrets he may have had, that wasn't one of them.

He'd known, very vaguely, that death in Cerealia wasn't the same as death at home. He'd been ready for that too, as much as he could have been. The strange place he'd seen was frightening, but it was too brief and confusing to make much of it.

Right now he's just as much of a mess as he was, bloodied and tattered and aching, but suddenly, he's a mess in the middle of a crowded street, and he was not at all prepared for that.

Apparently, neither was anyone else. It's only a minute before someone notices the blood all over him and screams--and then, of course, it's only a matter of seconds before other people start to notice too. There are screams and shouts and hands reaching for him, demands to know if he's alright, if he'd hurt himself, if he'd hurt someone else-- it's too much, too much, too much.

So he runs.

He runs until it's safe to stop, then he ducks into a shop with lots of fluffy fabric and bright colors and flashing lights. It's easy to hide in here, but it'll only be a matter of time before someone sees the state he's in, and it's not like he can stay in here forever. So he grabs the first outfit he sees and sneaks out to change in the dark alley, mentally apologizing to whoever's store he'd just robbed. He'll come back and pay later.

It's-- not an outfit he would've chosen on a normal day, that's for sure. Bows and straps and way too many complicated pieces... was this meant for a girl? What kind of store was that? But it's not like he has much of a choice, and this outfit, if totally bizarre, is at least free from claw tears and blood. He's still a mess, but this is the best he can do for now.

Anyway, it's fine. Worrying about his clothes means he doesn't have to think about what he did. How he failed.

He tries his best to sneak back home, too, his ruined outfit balled up and held protectively against his chest. He doesn't want anyone to see him like this, least of all Haru. If he can get inside, he can throw these clothes away, and take a shower, and then... maybe then he'll be ready to face other people. Maybe then he'll have figured out what to say.

But first, he needs to get inside.]

OTA-- 5/30 to 5/31

[Of course, he doesn't succeed. Haru catches him, and Namazuo can't even bring himself to be all that surprised about it. He doesn't have the energy for that kind of emotion right now. But after Haru, there's no sense in bothering to sneak around and hide.

So once he gets cleaned up, he'll be curled up on the couch in a bathrobe that's far too big, engulfing him in white fluff. For the first time since they'd gotten these bodies, he looks... old. Old, and very, very tired.

But he's awake, and if anyone comes looking for him, he won't send them away.

He won't be leaving the apartment for a while, anyway. It'll be easy to find him.]

[adornmental]

[He's heard by now, of course. He'd figured it out as soon as Namazuo hadn't returned with the rest of them because he's been here for quite a while and he knows how these things work, even if he's only ever observed from a distance before. Now it's come home, someone close to him has died, and he doesn't know what to do about it. Even Kashuu, who knows death better than nearly anyone else in their army, doesn't know how to console anyone when death visits them too.

So it takes him a little while to actually talk to Namazuo, and even the talking doesn't come first. First, he just makes his way over to the couch, and takes a quiet seat next to him, testing to see how comfortable Namazuo is with the presence of others. He's already guessing that it'll be fine, though. After all, he could hole away in his room instead if he didn't want to deal with anyone.]

[horsepoop]

[Kashuu's judgment is right. Oh, he'd thought about it, yes. He's not sure he has the energy for anyone else right now, and the thought of seeing so many worried faces has him feeling sick with shame. But Namazuo is a social creature by nature. He knows what will happen when he's left alone with his thoughts, and he doesn't want to deal with that either.

So it's not quite relief, but it's certainly not dread that fills him, when Kashuu sits down. Namazuo doesn't stir, and for a while, he doesn't say anything at all.

...But this is Kashuu. Kashuu, who's been here for so long, who was one of the first to help him figure out this strange, terrible place. Namazuo wants so, so badly to go home, but if he feels like this, then how must Kashuu feel? Out of all of them, Kashuu deserves to know what happened.]

...I saw people. [When he finally does speak, it's in a soft voice, like talking itself hurts.] A lot of people.

[adornmental]

[He'll sit in silence for however long Namazuo wants it, since sometimes, that's the best thing that can be done. Sometimes it's too much to be left alone, but it's even worse to be forced to talk, so a delicate balance needs to be struck - and he's not very bad at finding out where that line is, so he can walk it.

But when he does talk, Kashuu's attention zeroes in keenly and quickly, like he's been waiting the entire time for those first words. He's not sure what he expected to hear, and the strange softness in his voice makes his heart twist in a sore way, but... it's better than Namazuo's absence, by far.]

...Were they all strung up? [He has been here for a long time. As long as Mutsu and Haru, though not quite as long as Kousetsu. It's a weighty thing to carry, but at the same time, it means Kashuu is usually one of the last to find things that are surprising.]

You were probably in the Code, if that's what you saw.

[...Though that does beg more questions about the altar, and the lack of other swords in that space. Questions that can wait until later, though. He's quiet and soft in return, giving Namazuo as much space as he does or doesn't need to continue talking.]

[horsepoop]

[A nod. It had been a frightening sight, far more frightening than the dark nothingness of death. He'd expected that. He hadn't expected to see... "the code", whatever that is. Even if it hadn't been for very long. The one thing that might've brought him comfort was the lack of familiar faces, but after the altar they'd found, even that unsettles him.

But... it's important. More important than him, by far. He'd died a perfectly normal death, fighting to protect a comrade. No one should be worrying about him.]

What is it? ...The code.

[adornmental]

[Similarly, when he'd first heard of the code, he had been grateful for the lack of familiar faces there. After finding that altar, though, the implications of their absence weigh more heavily on him than he'd like.

He pauses for a second, attempting to properly organize his thoughts. It's not that he's forgotten to ask about Namazuo himself, but that can come later, after he's answered the questions as well as he can (which incidentally isn't really well at all. He's been cursing himself for his inability to understand things quite often lately.)]

...I still don't really get it, but it's the place where they fish us out from. Kinda like a soup or something, I guess...? We're like, pieces of data that were destroyed when those Flamine guys apparently wiped out everyone's worlds, and that's basically the place where they're fixed and restored and - stored, I guess. Maybe for repair later.

[Maybe not. He doesn't know that much.]

[horsepoop]

[But that... doesn't make any sense. If it's where they all came from, shouldn't he have seen some of their comrades there? Someone he recognized? His brothers? It's probably a huge place, so there's always the chance he simply hadn't been there long enough to see them, but--

--but that would be far too simple. Namazuo's been around a long, long time, but this is the first it's ever truly weighed on him.]

Did you... tell anyone? About that place.

[adornmental]

[There's a crease of guilt in his face, then, because he does feel awful about focusing on the superfluous aspects of city life just because things hadn't seemed that bad. He should have been sharing what he knew, instead of assuming things were okay.

He shakes his head.]

This happened before you got here, but there were still a lot of us around at the time, you know? So people came and left but I never really thought like, right, now there are swords here who don't know about this stuff. [He shifts, discomforted.] Plus, it was kinda like... If they weren't there, it was probably better, since that place had such a bad feeling and all.

[Which was a foolish assumption to make, as he's realizing.]

Um... I'm gonna talk to a few people later this week, but we should find a safe way to sit down and share info after that so we can all be on the same page.

[horsepoop]

[Foolish, maybe, but Namazuo just nods. He gets it. He gets why Kashuu would want to believe that, why he'd tried so very, very hard to focus on the positive. Isn't that what Namazuo always does? Most of his brothers have never even been here, but Kashuu has had to watch his loved ones come and go for so long...

What's foolish is this. Lying here, being useless, making people seek him out like this. He died, and it was terrible, and he's caused enough pain and worry as it is. Isn't he the one who should be doing the comforting? Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Slowly, he sits up, but it's only to lean over and rest his head on Kashuu's shoulder. It's meant to be a gesture of reassurance for Kashuu, but he'll quietly take what solidarity he can get from it, too.]

...We need to find out where they are. [Had he been with them when he died? Or had he simply ceased to exist?] ...and how to save them.

[yaayaa]

[Ah, Namazuo's back. Nakigitsune doesn't really know what to think, other than that--death is as unfamiliar to him as it is familiar to the rest of the swords, and the fact it isn't permanent in this world...doesn't help much with his understanding of it.

What he does understand, though, is that Namazuo doesn't look like the same cheerful figure he's so used to seeing. He's quiet, and tired, and.....the uchigatana pauses only a moment on seeing him, staring thoughtfully, before leaving for a few minutes.

When he comes back, it's to deposit a bowl of mixed snacks on the coffee table in front of his cousin, seat himself on the floor by his feet, and - after a moment's hesitation - grab one of the candies to chew on in silence.]

[horsepoop]

[It may seem like Namazuo doesn't even notice Naki's presence. He doesn't move when Naki comes in, when he leaves, or even when he comes back. His eyes follow his cousin, but other than that, he stays curled up and silent.

But he does notice, on more than a superficial level. He'd known Naki was safe, but it's a relief to see it with his own eyes. Naki is, after all, the closest thing to family he has here.

...Well. No, that's not quite true. But he cares deeply about his well-being, nonetheless.

When he does move, it's not to reach for a candy, though he appreciates the gesture. Instead, he reaches for Naki, threading his fingers through fluffy hair like he's making sure it's really tangible.]

...Did you make it home alright?

[yaayaa]

[Whether he noticed his cousin watching or not, Nakigitsune shows no sign of it. No, he goes quietly through the motions, not giving any more than that original thoughtful glance, not looking at Namazuo at all until--no, not even when he speaks.

He sits still, with those fingers in his hair, and slowly, carefully nods.]

.......Have you? [Made it home alright, that is. Namazuo may have died, but. He's here now, right?]

[horsepoop]

[It's reassuring, in a way. Namazuo is a tactile spirit, and the sensation of touch has always been his favorite thing about these bodies. To be able to do this, to feel for himself that Naki is whole and safe--it's such a relief that it brings tears to his eyes.]

...I'm glad.

[It's barely a whisper, because he doesn't trust his voice not to break. He doesn't answer Naki's question immediately, either, swallowing past the block in his throat as he tries to figure out what to say.

The answer is no, of course. No, he didn't make it home alright. He died, and he went to some strange place full of hanging bodies, and he died again, and when he reappeared...]

...I ruined my clothes.

[That's about as much of a non-answer as you can get, but. It also explains the sparkly, ribbon-y pile of fabric sitting in the corner, and why Namazuo's still in a bath robe.]

[yaayaa]

[It's a non-answer, but. The lack of an answer is answer enough, in a way. Nakigitsune leans back against the couch, careful not to dislodge Namazuo's hand in doing so - he enjoys being able to feel things as well, after centuries of never being touched at all, and...there's a strange sort of comfort in knowing they're in your reach.]

...You can have mine.

[A fox print t-shirt for Namazuo...He might give him one anyway, later, as a gift.]

[horsepoop]

[That wrings a laugh out of him; it's a startled sound, like he hadn't expected it to come out of his own mouth. But the thought of running around dressed like Naki, mask and all... it makes him smile and breaks his heart all at the same time.]

You don't have to do that. [It's not a refusal, but he doesn't want Naki to think he has to go out of his way or anything. This is enough. Just being close is enough.]

[yaayaa]

[He can't help tilting his head back to stare at that laugh - did he say something funny? Is Namazuo a little happier?

It's difficult to tell.

He falls silent again, and reaches for another candy to offer his cousin.]

[horsepoop]

[There's a long pause as Namazuo hesitates, staring at the candy. That alone is a sign that everything isn't okay, not really--but should he tell Naki that? He doesn't want to burden him, but he doesn't want to keep secrets, either.

Well, he can't hide it forever. It wore off the first time, but... who knows how long this will last?]

I can't unwrap it. [Shifting, he shows Naki his other, glitchy hand. He could, technically, but it would be a struggle, and Namazuo doesn't want to make Naki feel bad for a kind gesture.]

[hoasen]

[To see Namazuo looking so tired like this is a surprise. She usually ses him so full of life, and yet here he is. She could only wonder what happened to him, but it is likely he was underground.

So she brings over a glass of water.]

Here, Namazuo.

[horsepoop]

[Well, she's not wrong in that assumption. It's not her fault that there's so much more to it--there's no way she could've known unless someone told her.

But if she doesn't know, then the attention is a bit of a surprise in and of itself. Does he really look that bad? He's not up to convincing anyone he's one hundred percent okay, but... it hadn't been his intention to cause even more worry.]

Thank you.

[Slowly, like it's a great effort, he sits up, accepting the glass with a grateful nod. The least he can do is make an effort.

He didn't run into her in that place, but that doesn't mean she wasn't there, so.]

...Did you make it out alright?

[hoasen]

[The fact he responds and tries is at least relieving, since she's sure he'll recover. Somehow. Hopefully quickly, but if not, then she'll be there to help him along the way.

Vietnam nods.]

I was fine, thankfully. I witnessed others having to endure it, but myself, there was...nothing. I am assuming it did not go so well for you...

[horsepoop]

That's good.

[Heh. Not so well... that's an understatement.

But he's glad to hear she was okay--at least someone was. Even if he hadn't died, he'd probably still be exhausted, just from the sheer amount of pain and suffering he'd seen out there. That room with the mirrors... how many of his friends were forced to watch their bloody pasts play out around them?

It's over now, though. It's over, and with any luck, they'll be able to move on and forget about it quickly.

...Most of it.]

...No, it didn't. But I was able to protect someone, so it's alright.

[hoasen]

[She moves over to sit close to him, with how exhausted he is, and holds out her hand. If it didn't go well, it would be fine to comfort him like this, no?

But he succeeded, if anything.]

You are very brave, Namazuo. Truly a strong sword.

[horsepoop]

[She really is too kind, isn't she... no wonder everyone in swordhaus is so fond of her. Namazuo included; he smiles a little, and takes her hand with his good one, grateful for the contact. He hadn't realized how much he'd miss it.]

Thank you... but I would like to be stronger.

[Most of the time, Namazuo is very realistic about his own strengths and weaknesses. He's happy as a wakizashi--he isn't as strong as the uchis or tachis, but he's strong enough to protect his little brothers, and fast enough to step in and catch any sneaky, speedy enemies. But now he can't help wondering. If he'd been stronger, would he have survived? If he'd been stronger, would he have been able to keep his promises?]

[hoasen]

[She's seen a lot! Besides, she can trust Namazuo, which is why she is saying such things. She's being honest.]

One always hopes to become better versions of themselves.

[He's always training too.] It will take time, but one only needs to work hard for it. Even we, those who are not human, can keep growing stronger.

[horsepoop]

[It's exactly what he needs to hear right now, and he smiles a little, thankful. It's one thing to hear reassurances, that he's fine as he is or that he isn't weak--and he appreciates sentiments like that, he truly does. But her words, especially coming from a fellow non-human, are encouraging in a different way. It's realistic, but thoughtful, acknowledging his desires without making him feel foolish.]

You're right. All we can do is work harder, and do what we think is best.