Love is in the air in Cerealia -- or, well, it is in ViViD anyway. And nobody cares about your lives outside of ViViD, so that's all that matters. It's an artificial love construct, but for you sad, lonely, little people, it's probably good enough, right? CERES is on a mission to find you your other half, your soulmate, your one and only, and this is how they've decided to do it -- through technology and abuse of your private information! Welcome to your new love life, courtesy of ViViD.
For your convenience, CERES has automatically generated dating profiles to help match up the new arrivals swiftly and speed up the "get to know each other" process. Nothing like some not-entirely-agreed-to speed dating to break the ice and improve new relations! You're going to be here for awhile, so you may as well get to know each other.
For the older residents, well... you may very well find your soulmate here! You don't want to miss out on that. That would just be an unfixable tragedy. So here, use the handy-dandy profiles and find your new honey. After all, the information on these profiles is 100% accurate, certified and verified by Mosley himself.
Why would you ever doubt that?
 I've never actually been on a date before. Not that there haven't been offers but I'm just too busy a guy! I think to myself, "Mosley, me, guy who's talking to himself, why won't you go on a date with that nice lady who just asked you out?" And I reply, "Oh, you gorgeous bastard, I'm satisfied with my life as it is already! I don't need love." After all, what is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] Gooooood morning, new ViViD compatriots and gamers! You’re not going to get a lot of time to adjust and recover from your sudden retrieval from destroyed and sad code, really, because as soon as you arrive, fresh and new to Cerealia, you’ll be faced with a profile.
Oh, look, it’s your face! And… a quote attributed to you? And your favorite object? Hopefully those details are correct, because there’s no going back now.
You’ve become an otome love interest.
For those who aren’t brand new to ViViD, you’ll be presented the exact same profiles -- but you’ll have to pick one. You know how this works, pick the love interest you want to romance and sweep them off their feet. Better pick the right route too because, haha! You wouldn't want to end up naked and alone in a basement again! That would be crazy. Just pick some rando hottie instead, it's no big.
Or, well, that’s what they say. But then you’re dumped into a ballroom, dressed up to the nines in finery, and surrounded by other milling NPCs. You're given a moment to process the whole situation before a genteel-looking older man who seems to be running this party steps up to the microphone. Gently, he clears his throat, and welcomes everyone to the party ("Haven't been to a party this fine since I had all my teeth!"), and then he gestures to a pile of weapons in the middle of the room and finishes cheerfully, “Anyway, whoever survives can leave this room -- enjoy!”
It looks like the NPCs aren’t messing around; they’re immediately diving for the weapons, so you might want to get a move on.
Welcome to the Cerealia Dating Hunger Games.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] When you burst out of the ball room, possibly covered in the blood of your enemies (your poor dress/suit!), you’ll find yourself in what looks to be a sprawling jungle. In reality, it’s a circular arena, and if you travel far enough, you can reach the walls, though they’re electrified with no way out. If you try to get past them, you’re going to fry yourself before you accomplish anything else! Where's the fun in that?
The bigger problem is this: there are some unfortunate monsters on the prowl (don't they... look a little familiar?) in the jungle, and they are ready and willing to eat up anyone who crosses their paths. They’re drawn to the scent of blood -- and, even more so, the scent of people in love. So hey, if you're in love right now, it might be a good time to run. Otherwise, you're the top target and about to be hunted. Have fun out there, lovebirds!
Meanwhile, the NPCs (or even your fellow player characters?!) are out for blood themselves, so nowhere is truly safe.
Was that... was that a scream for help, or someone coming to get you?
PHASE III [ 1145 ] At some point, you’re going to need supplies. It starts to feel like you’ve been in here for days without any food or water (but that’s weird, wasn’t this ViViD session supposed to be just a few hours -- ) and you’re starting to feel the effects.
So, time to get in touch with your inner man vs wild. There are animals to hunt (deer, rabbit, etc.) and if you can fashion a spear or use a weapon you scooped up in the chaos, you can kill them for food. Alternatively, you can just try stealing some supplies from your fellow players. That's probably a saner option.
Which leaves you sneaking up onto their camp, full of sneakiness, and more sneakiness, and a little bit of stealth, you reach out and...
Suddenly, there are lights on you! Cameras! Cheering, adoring crowds! There's a narrator narrating every step you're taking (loudly) and there are fans hanging on your every move --
Oh, did that wake up the other player and/or bring monsters roaring down upon you? Whoops. The perils of spectator sports like the Cerealia Hunger Games, really.
PHASE IV [ 1400 ] You did it. Someone came at you, and you killed them. Their blood is on your hands, but it’s fine -- it’s just a program in a game.
Right?
Except when you look again, it’s someone you know. The corpse of a person who’s very important to you in so many ways is lying there on the ground, blood still warm but clearly dead. They’re solid to the touch. They’re there, and they look just like that person you care about so very much. Your heart hurts.
And you’re the one who killed them.
Then, without warning, it starts to rain because ViViD is nothing if not good at sensing the mood.
PENALTY [ why o'clock ] So.
You died.
This isn't really that surprising, considering it's the Cerealia Dating Hunger Games. People die a lot in games like these. It's the price of love.
Don't worry, though! It's just ViViD, so it's not like you really died. You'll get reconstructed, good as new, and they'll toss you right back onto the battlefield. Except, well... it seems like something's a little different.
For one thing, you've got claws instead of hands.
You can't seem to speak, either; all you can manage is garbled growls and sharp noises.
And, worst of all... you're really, very intensely hungry, and you can smell blood (or people in love, that's an even better scent).
So yeah, you're one of the monsters now. Don't worry, it only happens the first time you die in this game; if someone valiantly slays you again, you'll come back good as new, a normal person in the Games. What a weird glitch. There's no way that's on purpose or anything, right? No way!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Just the fact that he's a different version is weird enough, don't you think?
[ Souji still thinks that's weird, okay?! Also when Souji thinks about it, nothing particular about the other Hijikata really stood out to him. No shirtlessness, no gender bender. This time. Only the similarities really stood out to him. ]
I guess you could say that it's weird in that he's similar to the Hijikata-san we know too.
[ It sure got Souji to think. Like are there just some things that will always be the same no matter what? Like the Shinsengumi? Like tuberculosis.... ]
His hair's longer, but he's just as much of a nag and just as tiresome to be around. Oh, and still a terrible poet. That must be a universal trait.
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After a while of being stuck in this kinda place, your views on that really start to shift. [ Sure, meeting another version of the guys he knows from the Shinsengumi is still weird, he won't deny that much.. But it won't fully fall into the weird-even-by-this-place's-standards until it's radically different.
But similarities.. well, they're a good thing. Kind of. At least it means things won't be too weird? That description sure sounds like it covers a good part of the Hijikata they know as well. ]
But you mean he also scolds you. [ Because when Souji calls Hijikata a nag, it's 99.9% sure to Shinpachi that Souji actually means that. It's kind of amusing to him, so he can't help but smile a little. Like his words are a friendly poke in the side or something. ]
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That's what tiresome people do, even when it's not deserved.
[ He totally didn't deserve any scolding!!! Not for trying to bait amnesiac Hijikata into fighting him in a proper duel or for making fun of his haiku. He's the very epitome of innocence. ]
You'll probably get to hear it for yourself, since Shinpachi-san getting scolded is inevitable.
[ That's right, he's going to throw stones in his glass house, take that ]
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But Shinpachi should probably have realised those stones would be thrown back at him sooner or later.. and yet he didn't at all, since he looks completely surprised by that reaction. You know, as if it isn't only natural for someone to tease him in return. ]
O-oi! What would I get scolded for?!
[ Because he is also the epitome of innocence, obviously. Not a guy who spews incredibly ridiculous dumb lines at least as often, if not more, as he says something reasonable. Also not a guy who would skip out on every chore if possible at all. That's not Shinpachi, nah. ]
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Which would you like -- the short or long answer?
[ Surely, Shinpachi is only pretending to be surprised. Maybe if he were the same caliber of Shithead Souji is.... ]
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[ Because even if Hijikata is a nagging
fathermother to most of them, Shinpachi doesn't think he does anything.. or, well, at least not a lot to get scolded for. What's wrong with a little overconfidence at times, huh? And his dumb acts are just to raise morale! Obviously. Totally. ]no subject
[ Though at the end of the day, Souji's well aware that he's the one who gets scolded the most. ]
But who knows? It's not like we answer to this Hijikata-san, so Shinpachi-san might be safe after all.
[ Who's going to scold Shinpachi for going to the pleasure district??? no one ]
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momvice-commander around, huh.Even though he doesn't think he'll get a fully serious answer, since it's Souji, he figures he might as well try to ask anyway-- ]
Wasn't it weird for you? Talking with that Hijikata-san. [ Sure, Shinpachi has met different Soujis before, but it's kind of different when it's a different version of your superior officer. Or in Souji's case, someone you have a.. unique (let's put it that way) bond with. But in Shinpachi's case it's more about the thought being a little weird that there's a Hijikata who can't nag at him and him actually having to give it some consideration. ]
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[ Souji doesn't like this question (surprise) but he catches himself considering it which would never have happened if it was anyone else who asked, so that ends up irritating him too. (nice) H seems fairly reluctant to answer (and probably about to not answer at all) when he shrugs ]
It was when I thought of him as Hijikata-san. [ their Hijikata-san. a beat further if only to clarify ] But he's not, so talking to him felt like talking to any stranger.
[ It sure is easy to live in Souji's world, where look-alikes and alternate selves can just be "okay but. strangers". ]
Whether it's a Hijikata-san or any other version, it doesn't really matter who they are, does it? It's not like meeting them will change our lives in any way.
[ so why worry!!! ]
[ Souji would not be saying any of this if it had been Kondou tbh ]
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So even though he easily could have pointed out that Souji wouldn't react that way to Kondou-- he won't. He's not stupid, contrary to what some people might think. ]
Well, if there'd be a Hijikata-san who's the type to let loose, and you'd somehow record that for our Hijikata-san to see.. I think it'd change his life quite a bit.
[ At least he's grinning as he says it, indicating he means it as a light joking sort of thing. The look on Hijikata's face would be funny, okay.
(That would be a super weird alternate Hijikata, though.) ]
no subject
That's a surprisingly good idea from you, Shinpachi-san.
[ Shinpachi might have meant it as a joke but Souji's getting that sheen in his eyes that only appears during murder and when he's thinking about making Hijikata's life unnecessarily hard. ]
Now that I think about it, I already have something to show him. [ if Souji was true anime then he'd be rubbing his hands together right about now tbh. He looks at Shinpachi with an Expectant gaze. ] Want to see it? It's pretty great.
[ it is, trust him ]
[ then again, souji's definition of great.... ]
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Show me.
[ He actually sounds kind of eager.. like he's verbally nudging the other to just do it. ]
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this. ]
Here you go.
[ That's all he says, but it's full of satisfaction...... And also, there really are no words needed to explain that picture tbh ]
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This.. is..
Shinpachi squints almost comically at the picture, as if his brains can't process what he's seeing here. Is this really happening? Is this.... What even. ]
This is real. [ IN THE FLATTEST VOICE POSSIBLE. He's just dumbstruck by the picture, okay. This is a thing that really happened?? Give him a moment. ]
im cracking up
Isn't it amazing? With hair like that, he almost looks like the Hijikata-san we know. That means he'd have made the same stupid mistake if it were him instead, right?
[ Is that how it works? That should be how it works. Souji thinks so anyway, with the way the grin on his face is growing wider and wider. Isn't it great, isn't it??? He's waiting, Shinpachi!!! ]
ME TOO........ serious historical warriors here
He's still not over it. In fact, Souji can be gleeful about it all he wants, but Shinpachi is apparently still stuck in dumbstruck mode. ]
This is real?! [ LOOKING AT SOUJI AS HE SAYS IT THIS TIME. LIKE.. PLEASE TELL HIM IT'S NOT SO HE CAN ACCEPT LIFE AGAIN. ]
UGH i need more threads with shinpachi... can i hit up his inbox
I wouldn't joke about something as stupid as this. [ maybe ] But if you still can't believe it, then maybe you should ask the person that it happened to.
[ SORRY, SHINPACHI. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW ]
OF COURSE please hit up his inbox whenever, i love it
[ Look, he has the factor on his side that if it was his Hijikata, he'd be glad to see him again out of the blue.. maybe.. he's not too sure if it counts for a different one though, and you know what? Shinpachi likes his sword where it is, and that means not in his stomach because he was ordered to commit seppuku over something this stupid, okay. Who do you think he is? Sano?? ]
I don't even want to think about how much he'd yell, it'd be enough to give anyone a headache..!
great im coming for u shinpachi
That's true. He should really be ashamed of his own mistakes instead of taking it out on others.
[ But it'd be funny to see Shinpachi mention it anyway.... It's too bad Shinpachi's savvy enough not to try. ]
Anyway, if you do happen to ask him about this, then try and ask when I'm around to see.
[ DO A BRO A FAVOR, SHINPACHI!!! ]
jaws theme..........
There's even only one appropriate way to respond to that sort of statement-- ]
Do you wanna see me die that badly?! [ Do you really want to know, Shinpoodles.. ]
after the interlude ILL BE THERE
No way, it'd take more than that to kill you, Shinpachi-san.
[ it's okay, SOUJI CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS ]