[closed]

[projections]

Who: Natalia (her name is too long i'm not typing all of it out)poised, Archer swordboning, Shirou projections
When: 10/31
Where: Apartments
What: Archer and Shirou are doing chores for Natalia
Rating/Warning: nope.avi

---

[Shirou's holding a broom and he's cleaning one of Natalia's rooms. He doesn't mind giving Natalia a hand with these sort of tasks, especially since can't handle doing chores by herself.  Eventually, he moves into the bathroom and then cleans it until it's spotless. ]

That should do it.


[After nodding to himself in satisfaction he tries to open the door.....then he realizes that it's shut tight. What travesty is this?]

Natalia?   Is anyone out there? [Maybe he can just ask someone outside to open it for him. Either way, Shirou's not looking happy and his arms are crossed in annoyance.]


Weird...the door's locked and there's nothing I can do. Does this mean I'm in trouble?   [He can't break the door down...]
 

Comments

[swordboning]

[While this wasn't Archer's fault, he certainly wasn't going to let his opinion of the situation change. Making pastries in the kitchen, he was perfectly set to ignore Shirou, who he could hear just fine.

And you know what? He was going to make sure no one gave him any help.]

If you hear that idiot yelling, don't help him. He's just a deviant trying to enjoy himself.

[Yeah, that was directed at Natalia. Leave Shirou there, Princess!]

[poised]

[In truth, Natalia's just seated primly at the counter of the kitchen and waiting for this baked goods. Also she has a notebook open on the counter and appears to be taking notes as Archer's cooking. Whatever. It happens.

But at Shirou's yelling, she pauses and moves as if to get up and help him.

Except Archer's words so stop her movements, though she still appears hesitant.]

But he'd insisted on coming to help clean...

[which she took as him just volunteering to clean the entire place himself]

I should at least go see what's the matter.

[projections]

[Natalia please save him. He doesn't want to be stuck in a washroom for the rest of his life. Shirou's so ready to tune into his magic circuits and attempt to break the door down.

Except he isn't doing that just yet. For now he's poking at the door curiously. If either of them approach the door all they'll hear is a bunch of incomprehensible sounds. HE'S TRYING SO HARD]

[swordboning]

Good luck. But let me tell you the sequence of actions.

[So nonchalantly stirring up some batter with a whisk.]

You're going to go to the door. He'll ask for help. After a while of fooling around, he's going to get the door open. But he'll do it at the moment you're leaning on the door so you fall in on him.

Really, that one is a lowlife.

[poised]

Oh that's nonsense. He doesn't seem like that type of person.

[and here she goes again, being completely certain in her own decisions. With that, she hops off her seat and walks toward the bathroom

and hears strange noises that she can't decipher

. . . Um.]

Archer, I request your cooperation.

1/2

[projections]

[Looks like Shirou's slowly figuring out he has to play a game. Shirou's eternally a slowpoke.jpg]

2/2

[projections]

WHAT?

This is idiotic. I'm not going to play a stupid game all so I can leave the washroom. [That's asking for too much.]

I want to speak with whoever designed this place. Natalia? Are you there?

[swordboning]

[With a shrug to himself and a long suffering sigh, he sets down his kitchen implements so he can turn to help.]

What is it?

[Oh wait, there's Shirou asking for Natalia.]

Sheesh, how idiotic do you have to be to lock yourself in? I guess it would be too much for me to expect any better from you.

[It's probably sad that he knows exactly how to unlock the door. And has done it for Rin already. Nothing short of a command with a command seal would get him to seriously play the game to unlock the door for Shirou. Especially when he could do it himself.]

[poised]

I'm here. Archer pulled himself away from making a cake to assist as well.

[you're keeping her away from a cake, Shirou's. this better be good is what she's saying.

and here's a question that she legitimately never thought that she would have to ask, setting her hands on her hips]

What on earth are you doing in my washroom? I'd thought you were cleaning.

[only because you don't know how to do it yourself, princess!!]

[projections]

Go back to making cakes, Archer. I'll take care of this. [As if you will....Keep talking Shirou smh.]

Your washroom's a mess, Natalia. I got myself locked in here and there's little I can do from this side.

It looks like I have to play a game first. There's no way around it. [Spends the next thirty minutes playing games. He's getting so angry over here. Shirou won't even let up on this thing.]

[swordboning]

[He just kind of gives Natalia a side glance.]

He just said you're a messy person. Even worse, a messy person in the bathroom. He's got a lot of nerve.

[Shirou can sit in there and game. Archer doesn't want him cheating though. He puts his hand on the door and mutters that iconic line.]

Trace....on.

[Putting a little prana into the door, he rearranges its molecules. Sooner than you can say spiffy, the door is a lot shinier and quite a bit harder. If Shirou wants to break through that, he's going to have a hell of a time.]

[poised]

Enough out of both of you!

[how is she already so done with this conversation

she doesn't want to talk about whether she's a messy person in the washroom or not?! Because she's not!!

but more importantly now she's directing her irritation at Archer]

What did you just do to my door?

[projections]

Sorry, Natalia.

[Shirou knows exactly what's going on. He just lost in the game because he didn't think Archer would take such drastic measures. Noooo]

Archer likely changed the door's materials. It's more durable and it isn't going to be easy to break through.

What's the meaning behind this? Do you think I'll break it down?

[swordboning]

You know as well as I that your default reaction to anything is violence since you're unable to think things through. I thought we already established that.

[Shaking his head. Dumb younger selves!]

But he has told you correctly, Natalia. Your door is better, for the lack of other words.

[poised]

[She glances from the new, shinier door, and then back to Archer. Well, on the one hand, she does appreciate the fact that her home will probably not be damaged.

But now she's going to glare at the door and hope that Shirou gets some notion of it. Her voice is icy and provides absolutely zero room for argument:]

Do not break down the door.

[Or there will be hell to pay.]

[projections]

I'm not going to break the door down.

I can't do it even if I wanted to. Did you turn the door into something as strong as diamond? No amount of regular force will break through it. [No why is he thinking about this he's just proving Archer's point.]

[swordboning]

Whatever you say, I won't allow you ruin the house that you're a guest in. In almost every culture, it's considered bad manners.

[Doing a great job ignoring what Shirou is actually saying. It's almost like Archer is a pro at this.]

[poised]

Shirou. There will be consequences if you break door.

[Consequences. They will be extensive and probably very painful.

Though now she's glancing back at Archer and sighing.]

Your assistance is appreciated. [ . . . . ] Should he somehow manage to break my door, would you be able to use similar magic to fix it?

[projections]

I understand, I won't break it. You two don't have to worry.[Because Natalia is scarier than Archer.]

If I did such a thing then Archer can fix it no problem. [Shirou's just kind of looking at the door wondering how this works. After a few minutes of that he goes back to playing rainbow narwhals.]

[swordboning]

Don't be a moron. [Directed at Shirou!] I don't have any skill in time magic. [Which is essentially what they need to repair things. To rewind time to the point where it wasn't broken.]

At best, I could create a new door. But that was be a waste of mana so I'll just make you do it, idiot.

[poised]

Which would be a worst case scenario.

[Though now she's just placing her hands on her hips again, listening intently for the sounds on the other side of the door. What on earth....]

You said it was a... game, Shirou? Come now then, you should be able to complete it. Don't take too long, then the tea will grow cold.

[tea that she's implying she expects Archer to make]

[projections]

I'm not going to argue with you, Archer.

[Natalia will likely spank him for breaking the door and it will be more horrific than dealing with Rin when she gets mad.]

A child might find amusement in playing this game. [Don't call him a kid he's not having fun!!] I'll let you know when I get closer to 50000 points then we can have tea.

[swordboning]

If you don't need me anymore...

[He's going to be off making a pot of boiling water. Because that's kinda needed for tea. And finishing this cake.]

[poised]

[To Archer:] You're dismissed.

[Because some princess habits are just really hard to break, especially when he's essentially acting like one of her maids or butlers......

but then to the door, she doesn't really leave much room for misunderstanding]

Archer is beginning to prepare the tea now. Kindly finish your game soon so that you may join us.

[they're not waiting for you, bro. you're the one who got stuck in the bathroom, how embarrassing....]

[projections]

I'll try and do something about it. [He sighs in annoyance and goes back to playing games. Thirty minutes pass and Shirou starts talking again.]

It's at 100000 points now. Is it okay to stop? [He's just voicing his thoughts out loud because Archer and Natalia are likely busy. ]