OPEN ( ⚠ there ain't no motive for this crime )

[hairysituations]

WHO: Varric (hairysituations) and YOU.
WHEN: Anytime between 6/11-6/16.
WHERE: Pleasure District, The Mistress's Girdle.
WHAT: Varric's bartending at a semi-seedy bar, which means: general CR building, networking, drinking, gossiping, flirting, setting drinks on fire, bonding, witty banter, getting drunk, whatever your little heart desires.
RATING/WARNING: Language, will update for anything else.

i.

[ the bar's not too bad for a place called The Mistress's Girdle. smaller in size, with patrons who aren't exactly the kind of people you'd want to be out on a dark street with at night, wooden bar, table, and chairs that smell faintly of beer and wax. he'd taken up working there as soon as he found it; it was charming in a small, hole-in-the-wall kind of way.

he's standing behind the counter (yes, provided with a special thick mat to give him an extra few inches to reach the bar without a problem), keeping busy while its slow by drying glasses and arranging bottles.

slow enough that it's easy to make conversation, so he does, whoever happens to be sitting at his bar: ]

You want me to get something for you? [ he drops a glass down onto the bar, ] Or are you just in the mood to keep me company? Boring tonight.



ii.

[ it's getting well into the evening and Varric's been practicing setting drinks on fire. they're supposed to be his specialty, and hey, he can appreciate a little razzle dazzle as long as it doesn't burn his eyebrows off. so he's behind the bar alone, keeping his hands busy by mixing drinks and using his own little tricks to light the glasses on fire.

when he gets a particularly nice one (small long stemmed glass with a ring of purple fire lighting up around the rim, turning blue at the edge of the flame thanks to chemicals) he pushes the drink to someone sitting at the bar: you. ]

Have one on the house. You look like you could use a pick-me-up.

[ he pauses before adding ] You wouldn't think I need to say this, but you'd be surprised—blow the fire out before you drink it.




iii.

[ he's nearing the end of his shift, cleaning up some of the seating area, straightening chairs and wiping off tables that have gotten a little too grimy, even for this bar's tastes. there are a few people still sitting around and drinking (this place never closes, it seems) but they're mostly quiet.

he stops by a table, ]

Oh, is this— [ and he bends down, scooping up something into his hand to offer it to whoever happens to be sitting at the table next to where he found it ] ... yours?

[ there's hesitation in his voice because it's ... a pair of panties. black lace. classy, but still: ... what? Varric lifts an eyebrow. um???? ] Should I ask?




iv.

[ Varric's off his shift but just hanging around; no harm, not when he can use a drink himself, and there are people around for some fun. he's sitting more toward the back of the bar, reclining back in one of the wooden chairs, shuffling a deck of cards idly.

when someone catches his eye he grins and gestures for them to come over with two fingers, ]

Up for a game?

[ he holds the cards up, twisting his wrist, ] Been a while since I've gotten to play anything.



v.

[ WILDCARD. respond with a prompt of your own if your character would be getting into any wonky nonsense in his general vicinity of standing at the bar making drinks. or right outside. you wanna be passed out drunk and fall into the garbage cans? you do that, my friend. it's yours for the taking. Varric will also be cutting anyone who looks like they had waaaay too much to drink off. ]

Comments

[hoasen]

[She looks around again, when he gestures, to see why it's not popular. Location? Appearance? A tough crowd?] I suppose it isn't terrible, since you have some time to recover after that many jobs.

But survival classes? That is interesting.

[She looks towards the general direction of where the shop she works at is, in a completely different area.]

Thistle Do Nicely. It is a florist.

[incendire]

[ He isn't going to put it in his pocket...... That's worse. ]

Offer?

[ Sorry Varric, but Genos doesn't know a single thing about these more crude rituals. Genos isn't pure like snow but he definitely is going to give him a confused look. It's almost as if he gets it but then ultimately doesn't. ]

If she liked me, shouldn't she have confessed her intentions more directly?

[ Because taking off one's panties isn't direct at all. ]

[onerous]

I feel a lot of places are like that. [Full of problems, she means. He's got the whole mage/templar war thing, she's got a literal mountain of suicide ghosts...

She listens attentively, curious at both what he says (not advanced, she could've figured that much out herself) and what he doesn't. She assumes he just doesn't know how to describe it-- after all, it's always a little difficult to talk about where you're from when you don't have much to compare it to. It's 'just home,' after all.

Yuri tilts her head, humming in confirmation.] A few. Most people are from someplace similar to my world-- the same countries, mostly the same history and things, but the rules are different. The mountain I live on apparently doesn't exist in any other world, even the ones that have my country in them. Some places seem to have magic, or aliens, or crazy things like that.

A couple of my friends are from some place called Konoha that's more like some place from my country's history, but never actually existed. [it's probably hard to explain and she doesn't feel like going into the history of ninja or explaining what those are right this second.] I met someone from a place called Tevinter where I suppose magic is pretty common. [If the baffled looks Dorian had given her when questioning him about magic was any indication] It's interesting, hearing about everyone. I never considered where I live to be 'normal,' but compared to a lot of other things I hear...

[seakingbait]

N-not really, no.

[She owns some cute bras, sure, but anything requiring legs are strictly for research.]

A friend of mine was running the shop and was teaching me how to open my own clothing store. When she disappeared it eventually fell to me.

[heiroglyphs]

[She waves her finger over the glass, snuffing the flame with a glyph of light.]

Two of my friends are dead, my school is overrun with monsters, and I might never see my team again.

[animated]

Hit.

[ God, it really has been ages since he’s played this, in spite of spending a decent amount of time in Vegas visiting friends.

(In his defense, when your options are “go to the casinos” or “hang out with a griffon”, you pick the griffon.) ]

So, are you a newbie or an oldbie? As far as being here goes, I mean.

[outcast]

What a sweet sounding name. Mojito.

[ merrill had to admit, it was cute! her experience with alcohol is limited (read: nonexistent), but she trusted varric not to lead her astray. she picks up the glass and takes a decent sized sip, feeling it burn as it goes down her throat then quickly cool with a menthol feel.

she liked it. ]

Such a sweet taste, too! Why didn't you always do this, Varric? You're quite skilled, and you've always got such interesting stories. I'm sure your patrons are so entranced they forget to drink.

[criticalhip]

Hey, at least you're honest about lying.

[Panuniversal greasiness, although delicious, probably isn't the best thing for the heart, but for someone who doesn't really have one, it's all pros and no cons, so Sans gestures to the 'worst' of the bunch.]

The Bacon Blasting Belly Buster sounds like my kinda burg. What do you think?

[hairysituations]

[ but Sparky... we eat there...... ]

Directly—? No, no no no no, no. [ he shakes his head, waving his hands like that's the most outrageous thing he's ever heard. ] Hold on. I need to draw a chart. Where's a piece of paper and a quill when you need one?

[ he sighs, shrugging his shoulders. ]

Let me give you a life lesson: never expect a woman to be direct. If she ever is? Be pleasantly surprised.

[hairysituations]

[ he nods his head when she speaks, pressing his lips together. ]

Yeah, that'd do it. Make that two drinks on the house if you end up wanting another one.

[ because seriously. ouch. ]

That happened recently?

[hairysituations]

[ someone needs to teach this YE OLDE The Ways Of The Phone, his other friends suck or haven't figured it out themselves yet!!

he leans forward to look—ah yeah, he got one of those. he'd been using it as a paper weight, mostly. ]

—! Well, shit. [ he squints at the photo, and then at the glass. exact. ] That makes life a whole lot easier.

... Or harder, if you're one of those people that pay to make yourself look better in paintings.

[ good thing everyone at this bar right now is attractive (thanks mother). ]

What happens after that? It just stays there forever?

[hairysituations]

I'm almost always honest about being dishonest. It's one of my unique charms.

[ he leans forward to get a look at the description of that one. ] Chock full of meat on other meat, piled on with some more meat—shit, sounds like a wild ride. [ to the bathroom. or would be if... skeletons ... shat??? ]

I say go for it.

[hairysituations]

[ CLEARLY.

especially that last part. because. uh. no? how dare he?? Varric's tempted to go and kick him in the face, but the guy's probably long gone by now. or he better be. ]

Wanna come inside so we can figure out where you should be? Don't worry, no one's really in there now. And you look like you could use a glass of water.

[ or juice. no booze for this one. ]

[criticalhip]

[See, that's another perk of being a skeleton: Sans literally does not give a shit.]

And since I'm pretty sure you're not lying, I'll go with your suggestion, good sir.

[While we're at that--]

Huh.

Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever got your name.

Even after all those hijinks or whatever you wanna call 'em.

[heiroglyphs]

Yeah. A couple months, at the most.

[It feels like ages ago, now.]

[hairysituations]

Hmmm... maybe I would have picked it up if I wasn't juggling a hundred other things.

[ well, he's pleased she seems to like it. experiment: success! but he better not find you in some other bar a week from now, passed out on the floor with forty mojito glasses strewn about, Daisy.

he adds, a little wistfully: ]

And I think I like it better when I'm the one being served. More relaxing. [ The Hanged Man was like being home. This? As fun as it could be, was work. Speaking of... ]

What about you, Daisy? What do they got you doing around here?

[hairysituations]

Oh?

[ he seems interested, leaning against the bar and taking a break from pretending to be busy for a few minutes. wiping glasses gets tedious after a while. ]

Clever name. What made you want to work there?

[hairysituations]

So that's how it is.

[ he pauses, curious. ]

What do you mean, 'disappeared'? [ because while he's heard the idea tossed around before, he's not gotten many details on it, yet. it sounds distinctly different than dying. ]

[hairysituations]

[ he raises an eyebrow and then shrugs his shoulders: what the customer wants, the customer gets. assuming the customer isn't wasted and causing a scene. because that's when the customer gets a swift kick to the ass.

so he mixes up another one, ]

Want me to set it on fire again?

[ a lighthearted comment while he works. ]

[seakingbait]

Well, y'know how people show up here? Sometimes they disappear too. I don't know if anyone knows why.

[Not that she's asked. It's a bit of a morbid question, considering the implications of this place.]

[adornmental]

They just have to know how to use the right editing software! But yeah, pretty much outta luck if someone manages to get a pic on their phone.

[Which is HILARIOUS and also why he pretty much does the selfie equivalent of Olympic training. He's prepared to show off his best side pretty much any time any sort of camera is whipped out.]

That depends on what you wanna do with it, though! You can save it to your phone, or you can delete it and it'll be gone forever. Or, you can upload it to the internet! When you do that, lots more people can see it.

[immobileyes]

[ Thank you for not making little monsters drunk, Varric. You're doing the world a great service.

And Mary's a little too shaken to be effusive in her gratitude here, but she curls her fingers in her skirt and... nods. Okay, so maybe Varric being shorter than she is actually does act as some sort of comfort. ]

[incendire]

[ There's a terrible joke to be made here. One which Genos himself wouldn't make because it's crass. ]

A chart? [ Hmm... ] I may not have a quill but I have a journal and a pen, if those will suffice.

[ Don't ask him why he brings this stuff with him, but only that he does. Either way he'll open it up to some blank pages and with the full intent of writing down what Varric is saying. Though if Varric wants to take over then he's more than welcome to. ]

If a woman is not direct then how are we supposed to be held accountable for anything?

[hoasen]

[She laughs softly.] Thank you, you can thank my boss for that.

[She doesn't even think about how to answer his next question.] Simply, CERES recommended it. While I wasn't keen on listening to them, they did make some good suggestions that I would be able to do. So I went along with it.

[hairysituations]

[ so she met someone from Tevinter, eh? very interesting. he makes a mental checknote on that one but doesn't ask, instead focusing on the things he's not very familiar with. he doesn't recognize the other name, and it's... interesting. differences between places that are supposedly the same. history versus the present—or what you know of as being the present. it's a lot of good info that prepares him for what exactly might be going on here; and what he might have to deal with, at some point or another.

once she finishes speaking he just ends up looking resigned, sighing and shaking his head, though he's not without a small smirk. ]

Sounds crazy. If things weren't crazy as they are, I might not believe it. The improbable has already happened, right?

[ he pours himself a glass of beer; not his favorite drink but good enough. he needs one right now. which is why he throws back a swig despite being on the job. no one's gonna care. ]

Might as well just go all out at this point. [ bring on even more craziness, if this is how things're gonna go. ] At least it's not boring.