OPEN ( ⚠ there ain't no motive for this crime )

[hairysituations]

WHO: Varric (hairysituations) and YOU.
WHEN: Anytime between 6/11-6/16.
WHERE: Pleasure District, The Mistress's Girdle.
WHAT: Varric's bartending at a semi-seedy bar, which means: general CR building, networking, drinking, gossiping, flirting, setting drinks on fire, bonding, witty banter, getting drunk, whatever your little heart desires.
RATING/WARNING: Language, will update for anything else.

i.

[ the bar's not too bad for a place called The Mistress's Girdle. smaller in size, with patrons who aren't exactly the kind of people you'd want to be out on a dark street with at night, wooden bar, table, and chairs that smell faintly of beer and wax. he'd taken up working there as soon as he found it; it was charming in a small, hole-in-the-wall kind of way.

he's standing behind the counter (yes, provided with a special thick mat to give him an extra few inches to reach the bar without a problem), keeping busy while its slow by drying glasses and arranging bottles.

slow enough that it's easy to make conversation, so he does, whoever happens to be sitting at his bar: ]

You want me to get something for you? [ he drops a glass down onto the bar, ] Or are you just in the mood to keep me company? Boring tonight.



ii.

[ it's getting well into the evening and Varric's been practicing setting drinks on fire. they're supposed to be his specialty, and hey, he can appreciate a little razzle dazzle as long as it doesn't burn his eyebrows off. so he's behind the bar alone, keeping his hands busy by mixing drinks and using his own little tricks to light the glasses on fire.

when he gets a particularly nice one (small long stemmed glass with a ring of purple fire lighting up around the rim, turning blue at the edge of the flame thanks to chemicals) he pushes the drink to someone sitting at the bar: you. ]

Have one on the house. You look like you could use a pick-me-up.

[ he pauses before adding ] You wouldn't think I need to say this, but you'd be surprised—blow the fire out before you drink it.




iii.

[ he's nearing the end of his shift, cleaning up some of the seating area, straightening chairs and wiping off tables that have gotten a little too grimy, even for this bar's tastes. there are a few people still sitting around and drinking (this place never closes, it seems) but they're mostly quiet.

he stops by a table, ]

Oh, is this— [ and he bends down, scooping up something into his hand to offer it to whoever happens to be sitting at the table next to where he found it ] ... yours?

[ there's hesitation in his voice because it's ... a pair of panties. black lace. classy, but still: ... what? Varric lifts an eyebrow. um???? ] Should I ask?




iv.

[ Varric's off his shift but just hanging around; no harm, not when he can use a drink himself, and there are people around for some fun. he's sitting more toward the back of the bar, reclining back in one of the wooden chairs, shuffling a deck of cards idly.

when someone catches his eye he grins and gestures for them to come over with two fingers, ]

Up for a game?

[ he holds the cards up, twisting his wrist, ] Been a while since I've gotten to play anything.



v.

[ WILDCARD. respond with a prompt of your own if your character would be getting into any wonky nonsense in his general vicinity of standing at the bar making drinks. or right outside. you wanna be passed out drunk and fall into the garbage cans? you do that, my friend. it's yours for the taking. Varric will also be cutting anyone who looks like they had waaaay too much to drink off. ]

Comments

[hairysituations]

[ Sparky..... we don't put used panties on the table....... ]

Depends. You wanna take her up on that offer?

[ swinging another chair around, he drops down onto it backwards, so his elbows can prop up onto the back ]

She must've really liked you.

[ or was really drunk. or both! ]

[incendire]

[ He isn't going to put it in his pocket...... That's worse. ]

Offer?

[ Sorry Varric, but Genos doesn't know a single thing about these more crude rituals. Genos isn't pure like snow but he definitely is going to give him a confused look. It's almost as if he gets it but then ultimately doesn't. ]

If she liked me, shouldn't she have confessed her intentions more directly?

[ Because taking off one's panties isn't direct at all. ]

[hairysituations]

[ but Sparky... we eat there...... ]

Directly—? No, no no no no, no. [ he shakes his head, waving his hands like that's the most outrageous thing he's ever heard. ] Hold on. I need to draw a chart. Where's a piece of paper and a quill when you need one?

[ he sighs, shrugging his shoulders. ]

Let me give you a life lesson: never expect a woman to be direct. If she ever is? Be pleasantly surprised.

[incendire]

[ There's a terrible joke to be made here. One which Genos himself wouldn't make because it's crass. ]

A chart? [ Hmm... ] I may not have a quill but I have a journal and a pen, if those will suffice.

[ Don't ask him why he brings this stuff with him, but only that he does. Either way he'll open it up to some blank pages and with the full intent of writing down what Varric is saying. Though if Varric wants to take over then he's more than welcome to. ]

If a woman is not direct then how are we supposed to be held accountable for anything?

[hairysituations]

[ Sparky. Sparky. you always make the joke when the opportunity is there. there is so much Varric needs to teach.

but anyway. what the hell is a pen? he squints when Genos pulls it out and then nods his head—that'll do. at least you won't get feathers brushing in your face. ]

That's the age old question. We're just supposed to figure it out.

[ he makes three interlocking circles in the air with his finger. ]

Draw three circles like this. Okay? Label one 'women', 'drunk and/or incoherent', and 'people with names that start with G'.

Then label the whole thing, "Not to fuck around with."

[ like, drunk/incoherent women? no. women with names that start with G? no. drunk people with names that start with G? no. and they all stand on their own too, naturally. ]

[incendire]

[ He's an eager student if nothing else, Varric. You'll meet no better pupil.

And with that said, he'll do as he's instructed and draw the three circles and lable them accordingly only to then draw another circle encasing them all. It...was interesting and (un)surprisingly good advice. However— ]

My name starts with the letter G.

[ He feels very compelled to point this out. Of course, Genos is going to agree with the whole idea that he probably isn't someone to be taken lightly or "not to fuck around with" but at the same time, it made him seem a bit too unapproachable. Heroes were supposed to be people who were somewhat approachable, right?

At least, some of them were. ]

Should that be something I should consider?