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emotive, theshiningone, and everyone else! animated counts, it's his B-Day too!
When: 6/21 | 4/13, late afternoon to late evening
Where: The Sanctuary
What: June birthday celebration with close friends!
Rating/Warning: Noneexcept possible sadness and robots being real creeps
Thank you for coming! Please, enjoy yourself by all means! Remember to say, "Happy Birthday," to Hiro too please.
[ This is the greeting given by the birthday girl. Ai's face is aglow with cheerfulness that couldn't be beat as she welcomes guests inside the Sanctuary where some nice music is playing. It's the most convenient place to set up a small party after all and there's even a few things to do for fun if one isn't sticking around just for congratulatory birthday greetings:
]
[ OOC: Robots are free to be at the party and tagging each other is encouraged! ]
emotive, theshiningone, and everyone else! animated counts, it's his B-Day too!When: 6/21 | 4/13, late afternoon to late evening
Where: The Sanctuary
What: June birthday celebration with close friends!
Rating/Warning: None
Thank you for coming! Please, enjoy yourself by all means! Remember to say, "Happy Birthday," to Hiro too please.
[ This is the greeting given by the birthday girl. Ai's face is aglow with cheerfulness that couldn't be beat as she welcomes guests inside the Sanctuary where some nice music is playing. It's the most convenient place to set up a small party after all and there's even a few things to do for fun if one isn't sticking around just for congratulatory birthday greetings:
A) FOOD
Where there is Ai Thao, there is food. Lots of it. Starring a peach birthday cake made by the Man, the Legend, Chef Archer. Aside from those, there are some Vietnamese spring rolls, roasted meat, some healthy salads, and colorful cookies and drinks! (Hey, did someone bring hard cider to this party...???)
Ai might even collect your plates and clean up after you isn't she nice? Oh, that's not Ai, it's a robot who's taken on the same skin tone as her owner... Creepy. Ah well, at least it's being helpful although it might say every once and a while, "Thank you for coming to my birthday party!"
B) Piñatas
How cute, there's a few of these cute piñatas hanging around in the ceiling. When you try to bat one down for the sweet candy innards though, they are just out of your reach. Ai Thao (real one, not the similar looking skin robot) giggles because she's passing by you. Ah, she's the culprit. Those guys can't move on their own after all.
"Sorry, sorry! I couldn't help it."
Oh, so that's all... Actually hey wait, some of those piñatas ARE trying to run away?! Try to catch one, but these little bastards are pretty fast for cardboard full of candy.
C) KARAOKE
There is a TV screen, mics, a karaoke box and an endless selection of pop music in all languages. All of them. Try to belt out those tunes, serenade your loved one, get the highest score, no one's going home a winner anyways.
(Ai's robot is sitting at the machine and taking the mic, humming in a voice that sounds too similar for comfort...)
D) Late Evening
Let's settle down. Maybe chat and catch up with other people. It's a good a time as any right? The lights are low, the cake's been served, there's hot tea (and booze still???) and there's a lovely lamp projecting stars onto the walls. What a nice mood!
(It might make your robots, should they come to the party look rather eerie though, especially since they developed that layer of skin.)
]
[ OOC: Robots are free to be at the party and tagging each other is encouraged! ]
no subject
[Ai nods as she looks up at him. It's clear that she's taking this very seriously.]
By all means. I want to know you too.
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Well, I used to come from a normal world. I mean... Things were normal to start with. But back in the day, I had a small family that was just my mother and father. Though I wasn't particularly close with my parents and they weren't horribly close to me either... [Which might explain Hiro's offbeat behavior and why he was such a free spirited devil-may-care fellow. It might have been how he was able to cope with neglect over the years.] And I got bullied a lot in school for being weird. Even today, I still don't get why... But it didn't matter since I had Daichi. He was my best friend who had my back when it came to everything. He looks like a useless guy, but trust me... He's extremely reliable when the time is right.
[His expression shifts to something more saddened as he recalled the pained look on Daichi's face before he came an Administrator. But it's only brief, he wasn't going to approach that part of the story just yet.]
Everyday was just boring and repetitive back then. But I was still pretty happy since it was considered 'normal'... I didn't have to think much or make life changing decisions back then. The only thing I had to worry about was acing my school exams and stuff. [Then his voice takes a shift to something more grave.] But everything changed when the demons attacked. There was a huge earthquake and suddenly demons appeared throughout the world. My friends and I got caught in a subway crash, I kind of died... [It was hard to say if he seriously died or not, but Hiro definitely remembered the sensation of dying.]
But I was given a choice if I wanted to survive or not. And though this new app that I installed on my cellphone, I made a contract with demons. My friends and I were granted the powers to protect ourselves and survive in that new harsh world with the power of demons. [It sounded completely out there and scary (and it was), but Hiro was willing to use whatever it took to survive.] Y'know... Deep in my heart, I always wondered if I wanted something fun and exciting to happen like that. It only happened in video games and movies, but before I knew it... It was all happening for real.
no subject
[But here he was clarifying those memories himself. She listens patiently and attentively.
It was just as she thought though. Hiro had been through more hardship than most people and it had taken its toll one way or another.]
And it was difficult wasn't it? Having all that power in your hands and having to decide what to do with it?
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[Hiro's expression darkens as he recalls the violent rioters, the destroyed cities in Japan and how terrifying his encounters with demons were.]
When humans get a hold of power... It becomes a really scary thing. They fall back to their most primal instincts and become animals. 'Right' and 'wrong' and 'good' and 'evil' became blurred. While I wanted to survive, I also wanted to protect my friends and help others in danger. It felt 'right' for me and I truly felt like a hero.
[He doesn't look directly at Ai as he reflects...]
Y'know... I've seen some demons who lived up to the typical expectations of humans... Violent, awful and murderous creatures. [But then, his expression grows a little brighter.] But then, there were some demons who weren't so bad. We even had to appeal to some of them to get them to help us. While I know not all demons are assholes, you've still got the rotten eggs that can't be trusted... [Though he pauses in thought.] They're no different from humans, I think. They've just got their own way of doing things like we do.
[Now Hiro wasn't exactly an expert on demons, but seeing how they had their own currency like Macca shown that they had a system in their own world like humans. He wouldn't had minded taking a peek into Demon World if he was given a chance to see how things were like... He wasn't human anymore, so he knew that his chances for survival were a lot higher than your average one.]
no subject
... And after all of that? After all you've been through...
[And her next question is probably the most hard hitting, the one she wanted to know the most.]
Hiro? What are you now?
no subject
Just please don't ask this.]
I... [It wasn't so much what he was, but what it meant for him now.]
I'm not human anymore. [That was the easy thing to say.] I threw my humanity away to become God.
[His words were meek, but there it was. He was not walking the path of mortals anymore. It was easy to say for anyone else, but for her? Well, he wanted to pretend as long as possible that everything was fine.]
no subject
That couldn't be true. Not when he made her feel so human, laughed at and with her, held her hand through all those difficult times, and not when he assuaged her fears and insecurities. But Ai knew better than to try and doubt his words, not when they had lives that thrived on the existence of the outrageous and otherworldly. And then there's the both of them, worlds away from each other to begin with.
Ai's fatal flaw had always been having too big of a heart. It was a heart that hurt and yet it kept hoping. Hoping and yearning, wanting, wanting to take, wanting to give, all this want and now...]
... Hiro?
[Two hands cup each cheek now.]
Please look at me.
no subject
If that was multiplied among the rest of the friends, he was sure the pressure would've killed him inside. He really wanted to just diffuse this cold reality with a happy joke, make her smile and everything would be fine. Making people laugh and smile in the harshest of times was his magic and something he always held onto. He didn't mind becoming a clown for his or other people's expense to keep himself (and them) going.]
W... what is it?
no subject
[She says it so simply. And her smile is warm (although sadness threatens to overtake the look in her eyes.]
... I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?
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[He simply shuts his eyes as he doesn't want to see that expression destroyed. It would've been easier to lie and say no... But that wouldn't had been right to Ai who has been honest to her up to this point. He knew that he was going to betray that smile one day.
Just like he turned his back on everyone else. It felt like ripping off a bandage... Yet he didn't feel relieved.]
I know you mean well and I'm thankful for everything you've done... But you're human. And I'm not. I'll live on for eternity. And you won't.
no subject
[A soft, but firm voice. There's something that could be called resolve in it, but even Ai is struggling to keep her composure.]
I need to say it. At least let me do that much. I know it's selfish, but I just want to let you know even if it hurts the both of us.
[She puts her hands down into her lap and the heartache is beginning to creep within her, threatening to strangle her insides.]
... People here will be gone. We'll be separated, probably forever. I won't see them ever again and maybe I won't even remember them. I won't remember my friends who supported me, who I cried with, who I fought with. There's nothing here that I've experienced here that will ever be mine. I'll have nothing again.
Nothing was ever mine.
[Her fingers are trembling as she says this. Ai is more acutely aware of certain things than people have given her credit for because inadvertently, the lessons she learned in her commune, the ones where they tell her to vanquish certain emotions and concerns in order to move on had embedded itself and had a degree of effectiveness.]
And I know this. And I know we can't even be in the same world in the future.
1/2
...
[This wasn't matching up to the Ai that had always envisioned and maybe even idolized to a certain degree in his head!
It was like how he thought Yamato was doing everything for the greater good and he revealed that he was going to brainwash the world for his desires, then Ronaldo who acted like a great hero, yet he was fueled by the selfish fires of revenge... Then Miyako who acted kind and helpful only to reveal that she was going to sacrifice everyone for her great plan...
Hell, he knew that even Saiduq wasn't as pure as he lead people to believe. Then Keita, Jungo, Joe, Makoto, Otome, Airi, Hinako... Even Io and Daichi... He's seen the worst of humanity in complete strangers and even his friends. Hiro knew that humans were self-serving creatures at heart, yet...
Why isn't she saying what he wants to hear? "A happy ending exists for the both of us." He knew it wasn't true, yet of all people to say those fairy tale words... He expected it to be her. Just one gentle lie.
Why? Why? Whywhywhywhy--]
no subject
[His expression quickly snaps to rage. He was angry, tired and frustrated of people disappointing him, world after world. He thought that she was different. But he was wrong... For a long time, there was something that bugged him about Ai.]
What the hell is wrong with you?! If you knew all of this, then why are you trying to get so close to me?! Why are you pretending to be cute and pure for everyone? Do you think just smiling nicely and going "Everyone will like me if I pretend to be super cute and helpful lol" will get you the goddamn world in your lap!? THINGS DON'T WORK THAT WAY! That's fake, manipulative and gross, you know! You're messed up in the head!
[He wasn't sure how long he was yelling nor did he care if anyone heard. But Hiro kept venting those dark emotions that he's been penting up for a long time.]
If there's one thing I hate more than cowards... It's hypocrites! People like you who try and manipulate people to get whatever they want! I'VE FUCKING HAD IT!
1/3
[Why was this happening?
Ai Thao's eyes widen at the volume of his voice, at the sudden rage, the sheer anger behind his accusation. And not only the accusation, it was the way he spat it out as if he actually believed...
... No. He believed it. He really believed that she was pretending. He believed that she was only pure, only kind, only ever being helpful to be liked, only expecting kindness in return, only thinking that she would be coddled in return.
(They never coddled her when she was young, she remembers being thrown around, having to fight back, being tested to her very limits, hearing voices, the voices that they had to shut out or else she would die, and a dim memory of someone putting her to sleep and waking up to the faint burning sensation on her chest. And then growing up, people always expecting something of her, always failing to live up to expectations, always failing others when they needed her most, wasn't she supposed to grow past this, wasn't she supposed to endure, wasn't she supposed to...?)
She's a simpleton.
She was so happy when Athena and Ryuko became her friends, no questions asked. She was so happy when she also fought with Archer and even when he made her cry Ai had felt more strengthened with him as her fighting partner. She was so happy when Adolf Reinhardt kept on being reassuring, steadfast, like a rock, even when she wondered how broken he was in comparison to her. She was so happy when most people looked at her here in Cerealia and accepted her for who she was; her foolish kindness, her monstrous power, no expectation about her existence as the perfect esper because of course it wouldn't matter here.
She was so happy when she met Hiro Kageyama. ]
no subject
This was too much. Ai has gone through so many life threatening events on this planet. She would take hours in the mirror room over this.
I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.
ANYTHING BUT THIS.]
no subject
[That's her only response. Her shoulders stiffen, her hand clasping her opposite arm so tightly that it could break, and Ai stands up, her bangs obscuring her eyes.]
... So that's what it was...
[Her voice, barely a whisper because she can barely breathe, she can barely think.]
You never saw me to begin with.
[Being hated for failing to live up to an unrealistic expectation. How familiar.
She appears calm and silent, but her body is trembling and she feels trapped, forgetting why they were here in the first place.]
no subject
[There's a flat laugh as he minics Ai's meek voice in a childish gesture. Really? Just really?]
Do you really have a right to say that? After not saying anything about yourself for how long?
[How hypocritical of her. How could she expect him to see anything if she was just hiding everything through a rainbow-colored lens. On Hiro's end, he just lets out a disappointed sigh and pulls up his hoodie. His eyes covered completely as he turns his back to her. The last thing he wanted to see was her face right now. His voice is unusually cold like he was slamming a huge steel door.]
... Just get lost already. I don't care anymore.
[What didn't he care about? Her? The party? Growing attached to people only to see unpleasant things? Losing precious things? He didn't know, he didn't care... Get lost.]
1/2
But anger is a special emotion. For her, it would manifest as pure and cold rage. That's not how she felt towards him though, not right now. It's only sorrow that she's encased in, that begins to blur her eyes and suddenly, she can't see Hiro anymore either.]
... Do you know how many people I've told what I just shared with you?
[Barely any. Archer, Athena, and Adolf might have had an idea of course, but she hadn't shared the full story with them yet. They had given her space and so much time.]
Did you think that I was always naive, always blindly thinking the best of others, always thinking I would receive something in return because I was acting nice??
[Ah, maybe this was anger? A rush of words that wouldn't stop, that just kept going and going even though it may as well fall on deaf ears at this point.]
I'm... I'm human. [Why did it sound so pathetic when she said it herself? She knew she was one long ago. That was her existence, but the people who made her kept trying to distort that into something else.]
But everything in my life up until now was all about killing that human side of me and turning into something that I couldn't possibly live up to. And when I was with you and everyone else... I thought it was okay. I don't know how to fake anything. There's just... I don't know anything.
no subject
[Oh. Oh. No. The tears. They're starting to run.]
I should have figured out how to say it more clearly.
[She covers her mouth.
I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.]
I should have just said that I liked you. That you're the first person that I really fell in love with.
And I would have kept loving you even if there's nothing that would keep us together and even if you didn't feel the same way.
[Ai swallows down a sob.]
I'm used to not being loved anyways.
[And then she turns and runs away.
It didn't matter where. Just somewhere where they can't see each other.]
1/2
She was always an honest person. He was so used to dealing with two-faced people that he found it hard to believe that there was someone who only had one single one in this world. Maybe earlier on... If she had done something like lie, cheat or done anything delinquent-esque and contradicting, he wouldn't had reacted this badly right now.
When he thought back on it... She was created, right? She was raised in a lab, right? She was molded to be a certain way, right? Just how much pain did she have to endure? Just what did they do to her? His stomach was doing backflips just thinking about it.
"Nothing was ever mine."
When he flips those words around... Was that a cry for help? Should he had extended his hand out to her like he's done for Miyako and multiple people when they needed comfort? Become the hero who makes everyone laugh, smile and say the magic words to make all the bad things disappear?
He wasn't sure if it was a result of him becoming something more than human (lots of things felt different, yet he was still himself... Right?), but...
What he did just then... Might have not been any more different than those cruel mad scientists in her world.]
no subject
[Maybe it wouldn't be too late to take her hand and make things right, but she was already gone...
He was used to friendship that he never thought he'd heard warm words like those before. Not even his parents said anything like "I love you" before. It sent him flying for a loop. She truly did love him. But Hiro was too caught in seeing what he wanted to see and not what he needed to see to realize that.
How did he feel about her? Right now, he wasn't sure... But he had to make her smile right now. His special talent was making people laugh and smile in the harshest of times, but now he suddenly wondered...
Despite the fact that she said she'd still love him, Hiro wondered how long would that last? Anyone could easily step into the same position he was in and be her one-in-a-million.
Anyone could smile fearlessly. Anyone could crack quips and jokes to make people laugh. Anyone could save people. Anyone could be a hero.
When he compared his special talents to everyone else in his group... He put a hand over his heart as he recalled what everyone else had and what he didn't. He wasn't resourceful like Yamato and Miyako, an expert at healing people like Otome, talented at singing and dancing like Airi and Hinako, great at cooking like Jungo, an expert boxer like Keita, a soon-to-be-married man like Joe, firmly decisive like Makoto, patient as Saiduq, driven as Ronaldo, considerate as Io... And even Daichi, his best friend had awesome qualities that he didn't.]
... I'm really empty, huh?
[He was not a hero. Not an Administrator. Nothing glorious or anything like that right now. Just some asshole teenage boy who made a girl who liked him cry.]