[ damn she hits hard!!! or maybe he's just especially pathetic right now, given his burgeoning sunburn and lack of true manly bravado. but to his marvelous credit he doesn't stagger—maybe just lurches forward with a grimace that he hastily tries to turn into a grin, along with a wheezy laugh. ]

Haha... ow. Yeah, I know right? I was just thinking when I got here - dude. How can I set the standard for flagrant disregard of gender norms and appropriate fashion sense? But before I could really get down into the heart of that question it was answered for me in the form of this ravishing little piece right here. We've all been given an opportunity, you feel me? It would be just be—uh. Unconscionable. To turn our noses up at it.

[ totally. for sure. yeah. ]