estoria | [OPEN]

Entry tags:

[OPEN]

Who:

senseandcecilbility and YOU
When: A couple of days after the interlude
Where: Somewhere close to Thistle Do Nicely, Shopping District
What: Capitalism
Rating/Warning: Nothing so far.

[With visitors constantly ruining young master’s furniture, Kevin has decided he should make some extra cash during his lunch hour...Well, from a strictly biblical standpoint, certain things are not for sale, but Master William’s needs come first. Besides, it’s not like heaven would reprimand him for this tiny little trespass.

Yeah, right.

And so if you walk a couple blocks away from Thistle Do Nicely, you may find a very faithful butler -white kid gloves and all - sitting by what looks very much like a lemonade stand, but claims to be selling something else entirely: ]

Will Perform Exorcism on your Beloved One for Ten Credits.

[It is such a nice, well-calligraphed sign. You may even miss the tiny warnings in the corner:

-No reimbursement for trauma, maiming, coma, death or public nudity.
-In case of death, will perform funeral for five credits.

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[It's lunch time for William, so he's decided to see if Kevin might be available to go out with him to grab a bite. It's a nice day and he's in high spirits until William sees his butler. Sitting at that little stand. With that little sign.

Truth be told, William had originally believe that exorcisms and the like were scams, or at best the delusions of the idiotic church. That had changed after William's near death experience at the hands of an actual exorcist. So now he accepted that such things existed, with a healthy sense of caution thrown in.

So he had to take a few moments to muster himself before speaking to Kevin.]

This is new. Are you taking on another job?

Oh, young master! I did not expect to see you here!

[He offers William an uncertain look. Is he going to be scolded? He hopes he is not going to be scolded. Here, young master. It's lunch hour and you shouldn't be hungry. Have an orange.]

I thought...There is no harm in a little entrepreneurship, is there? Oh dear, should I have added cannibalism to the no reimbursement cases?

[He takes the orange and begins to unpeel it, looking at the sign and then at Kevin. He can see that nervous look on his face, probably waiting for the worst. And William wants to disapprove, but he's also wants to respect Kevin's way of life, so he ponders for a moment.

But at the same time, he can respect the wish to make money.]

No there is not. I was just... surprised. Have you received a lot of customers yet?

I am afraid not. [But he looks far happier now that he knows he won't be scolded.] Then again, I have barely started. It's such a beautiful day, isn't it? The streets are crowded with sinners, and I am quite certain there are at least a couple of possessed infidels in the neighborhood.

[It would be a tragedy if no money was made, but maybe this casual encounter with young master is God's way of telling him he is on the right path! Ah, he feels so blessed!]

[Wow he is really going full out religious weirdo today, huh. but he's so happy, like a dog that had been told it wasn't in trouble for breaking the prized vase.

How troublesome.]

it is early. But still, you probably should't call people sinners directly to their face. No one likes hearing such talk.

[Kevin is the cuttest dog.

He seems to consider William's words and can't help but feel a little nostalgic. Not a long time ago, calling humans "sinners" would only make them fear for their souls and beg for forgiveness.]

As usual, young master is correct. A gentler approach should suffice. People are so sensitive these days.

[Another orange comes out from Kevin's lunch box. And then two cups of tea and cucumber sandwiches. They are all set.]

I think not so much sensitive as not fearful of God's wrath.

[They had probably realized the same thing that William had: that God wasn't so mighty.

But he's going to take the convenient meal and grabs one of the extra chairs Kevin had. And he is going to ignore that lunch box. So hard.]

Why do you have a warning for public nudity though?

[How can people not fear God's wrath? Are they dumb? Honestly!

But young master's question distracts him from that thought. He looks both very embarrassed and upset by his memories.]

Sometimes demons take their victim's clothes off to...sidetrack us.

[True fact. Demons have no sense of shame. He holds his lunch box closer for comfort.]

Edited 2016-06-02 20:47 (UTC)

[Darin was just on his way back to work from lunch when he passes the little stall.]

[Which...makes him stop cold.]

[And maybe grow a little pale.]

E...Exorcism...huh?

Are uh...Are ghosts a...y'know...?

A..big problem..?

Oh. Yes Sytry had mentioned something about being able to make girls strip.

[Side tracked, huh? A likely story.]

But I am sure that demons are not going to subject you to that here.

[He reaches out and squeezes Kevin's shoulder, even though he thinks this is quite ridiculous.]

[Oh bless! A potential costumer. Kevin leans forward, examining the strange fellow.]

Well sir, demons are much more troublesome, but I am prepared to deal with restless spirits too if they are a problem for er... six credits?

[Most of them just need to be sent to heaven or...the other option. No trouble at all. Probably. Maybe.]

[Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHA. About the whole. Demon.]

[Thing.]

[This is making Darin even more nervous, as evidenced by the bullets of sweat pouring down his face.]

D...Demons huh? Yeah, demons sure are real pain in the ass. But uh...tell me...

H...ow do you...you know...exorcise? Is it a ritual? A weapon...?

[Quick, gotta make this seem less conspicuous.]

I mean...I want to hear more about your...particular brand of services...!

[Because that will immediately make you feel better, Darin. Good work.]

[Now you know what this means? An intervention of the divine kind. Hiro was floating above Kevin and his little stand there. This felt like a good time for him to goof off with his Administrative Authority...

So what he does is hold his hand out and manipulate the Gravity Factor to make the stand start shaking a little like a small quake was happening. Then Hiro puts on his best booming omnipotent voice as... Well, he was technically God on his side of the woods.]

The desire for money is a sin, my child.

[Kevin yelps and falls right on his angelic arse. What should have been terror quickly becomes heartfelt tears.]

God? My Lord? Are you really talking to me?

[He instinctively looks over his shoulder, from north to south. It has been so long and he has prayed for this so much he doesn't even register that the voice is not quite the one he remembers.

If he knew selling his services for ten credits was all it would take for God to speak with him again, he would have done that three thousand years ago.]

Edited 2016-06-03 03:03 (UTC)

[A tiny little part of Kevin's ancient brain whispers that it is not stripping girls he should worry about, but it is immediately thumped into sixty shades of repression.]

Thank you, young master. Though just to be certain, if anyone as much as unbutton their shirt I will smite them.

[He feels compelled to add:]

Nothing that would warrant a visit to the police station, I promise you.

[You seem very upset, young man. Kevin wonders if he does have a specific problem in mind.]

Weapon? Oh, not quite. Only prayer and God's will. [And smiting.]Truth be told, there is usually some discomfort involved, so I could not possibly guarantee that the victim would survive. Still, their eternal soul would be free from any demonic influence, and that is the important part, isn't it?

LIKE HELL IT IS!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'D MUCH RATHER LIVE!! THAT'S A NO-BRAINER!!

...Iiiiiiis exactly what I imagine a victim would say in these circumstances and in no way implies that I'm the one who needs to be exorcised.

Edited 2016-06-03 16:32 (UTC)

...

Oh dear.

[He gives the possibly possessed person a searching look and starts taking his gloves off, delicately working each finger at a time.]

Would you mind if I took a look? Completely free of charge, naturally.

Take a look...?

At...what exactly...?

What are you doing? Why are you removing your gloves?

[PANIC!! PANIC!!!!!!!!]

[Oh Kevin, any time you want to have that conversation...]

I would rather you not smite them just for that. They might just be hot and loosening their collar.

[Sometimes you scare him Kevin.]

What exactly goes into an exorcism though? I have never asked before.

[ No need to be scared...or have that conversation. No need at all.

Kevin seems embarrassed by the question and even scratches the back of his neck.]

Do you remember when we had that bothersome weed problem with the mistress' roses? The gardner had to replant them under young master's window, burn the nasty weeds with scalding water and salt the ground. After the rose bed was finally rid of the aggressive abominations, he took the roses back to their original spot...but not all survived.

Exorcism is like...er...the scalding water and salt. And sometimes it is better for the roses to stay under young master's window.

[Here, here, one pale hand is already free and working on the other glove.]

Into your soul, sir. It is easier if I am allowed to touch it.

[A perfectly safe procedure. Yeah.]

[You know... There was something nice about someone acknowledging him as God. Hiro felt more than a little smug as he tries to repress a little snicker at messing with Kevin here. Time to overplay the dramatics a little more! The stand will start shaking more violently as he manipulates Gravity once more.]

Are you questioning ME? The Creator? Ruler of Earth and all that resides in this world?!

[He sounds very serious as if he's going to shoot down a lightning bolt on Kevin right there--]

Edited 2016-06-04 01:30 (UTC)

[And his voice sounds more lighthearted compared to earlier as the shaking suddenly stops.]

--Yes, it is me. And I see you have discovered your freedom of choice since you've arrived in this world.

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