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Who: Kashuu Kiyomitsu

adornmental & you!
When: Slightly before and during the event
Where: Apartments + around town!
What: Kashuu deals with forgetting stupid things, being cold forever and memory shares
Rating/Warning: Memories of sword death and emperor death and probably some other deaths, it's time for a death party

A, swordhaus:
[SO, sometime before the wispy spirit animals show up but after the elemental effects set in, Kashuu can be found... freezing his ass off. It only took him the better part of a day to figure out what was triggering his weird flashbacks, so now he's sitting by the open window with a fan in as few pieces of clothing as possible (which is still a lot, honestly), eating a popsicle. He's definitely shivering... Maybe he went too far in the opposite direction?!]

This is so stupid! This is seriously the worst—! [But you know what will keep his soul warm even in the face of hypothermia? Salty, salty complaints. MMM, YES.

Anyone wandering by either in the apartment itself or walking past the window will be dragged into this salt session, either with a jealous look and a:] What, are you warm? [Or, a sympathetic look to anyone else who seems to be trying to become an igloo, and a peace offering of another pospicle.]

B, park/dojo:
[The wispy animals have shown up! Kashuu's already tried and failed to talk to his, but he does at least have some control over it, being a spirit himself.

Granted, he has to actually be paying attention to it in order for perfect control to be A Thing, and he can't devote his attention to it 24/7...

So here are the perfect times to bump into his little fox friend; either when he's doing his best to lead a class in the dojo despite all of the tomfoolery going on, or when he's on his way to or from said building and trying to plan the rest of his day out on his phone. His attention is gone and WHOOSH, SO IS THIS SKITTERISH FOX. That catches his eye, at least, though maybe not quite fast enough--]

Woah, hey— Watch out!

[AND THERE HE GOES, TOO, tripping over this fox that he can't even touch. Congrats, you get a double whammy of being knocked to the ground and then slammed with a memory.]

C, shopping district:
[By now, he's bumped into enough people that the lovely memory loss side effects are starting to show...

On one hand, he got off pretty lucky?! He hasn't forgotten any people yet, or significant events - as far as he knows, anyway. On the other...]

Ow—! Ugh... Sorry, sorry. [He may have just crashed into you/a store mannequin/a display case, because he's wearing some pretty tall heels but he sure doesn't remember how to walk in them gracefully anymore. NICE.

His sad, sad fox is still tailing him around out here too, of course, though he's getting a little irritated now that he's put two and two together. This thing needs to stop touching people?! Just, stop! Just stop!! While he's picking himself/you/this mannequin arm off the floor, he gives it a miffed look, even though it's already darted off again.]

This is your fault, y'know. Just calm down for like, five seconds!

WILDCARD:
[Hit me up with any scenario that floats your boat!]

[ooc; If we haven't plotted anything out yet, just let me know if you want a good or bad memory! If there's nothing specific you want, I'll just reach into my paintrain grabbag and give you something random. I'm down for memory swaps too, of course!]

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[... Leon's never really been sure if Kashuu knows or not. Most people aren't so good at keeping it under wraps, but he's known that there was always that chance back in that labyrinth before and...

Now, he's not sure.

Leon's quiet for a moment, but when he finally speaks, it's to override Chal's "Oh... it's nothing--" with:]

That is because here is the exception.

[Ah.]

There is no going back for here, not for me or for Chal. [And it's Leon's fault.]

...Do you blame yourself?

[It seems the natural conclusion to draw, with the way the topics are starting to knot together. He doesn't ask for details on what Leon means just yet, either - partially because he does already know, but mostly because he thinks this is a little more important.

Death has a way of clinging and haunting and refusing to let people go, and regret is always a heavy thing to carry. He likes both Leon and Chaltier enough that he'd rather neither of them have to deal with such painful things, even if that's much easier said than fixed.]

It isn't a matter of blame.

[That, he says frankly, if quietly.]

It was my fault.

[There's no getting around it. Leon was the one who made the choices he did, Leon was the one who decided not to listen to Chaltier, Leon was the one who tried to handle the situation on his own. It was Leon who betrayed Stahn and the others, and it was Leon who died for it, as it should have been--

But he hadn't wanted to take Chal with him.]

Due to my choices... Chal had to fight against his own comrades--and that is not fair.

[Once again, he's put in a unique position regarding vantage points, here. Leon is his friend and he wants him to be able to move on without getting hung up on past regrets, but - as a sword who once had no autonomy of his own, he also very much understands exactly why Leon is so upset over this. It's bad enough to put a treasured comrade in that situation, but things take on a different hue when one party has much less actual say than the other.

He's sure that Chal agreed, or at least wanted to stay by Leon's side, but it would surely be an incredibly difficult position to be put in.]

Have you guys talked about it since then? About the stuff that happened leading up to it, and the fight, and whatever happened after.

[Another primary concern. Had he been wrong in his initial assessment? Are things okay between the two of them? Really okay?]

[The awkward pause should make it very clear that they haven't.

Avoidance is Leon's tried and true method of coping with Bad Things, and honestly, Chaltier has his own issues as well, even if they come up less in contrast to Leon, he-who-is-only-issues.

But.

Yeah. That's something they haven't done, and the pause is just a bit too long.]

...We're fine.

[IT SURE DOES.

And really... even though Leon is a friend of his, it's not his place to admonish or encourage or say anything at all, in the end. This is something between Leon and Chal. It's something they'll have to work out on their own, for better or for worse.

...But he'd feel remiss if he didn't at least give a warning.]

That sort of thing can be more dangerous than regrets.

[Not talking about something can lead to regrets, but avoidance is an ugly coping mechanism and if Kashuu were completely honest, he'd be able to say it never helps anything, ever.]

It doesn't matter anymore anyway.

[And thus Kashuu runs right into the wall that is Leon's fatalism!!!

He's dead, after all. He fails to see why it should matter if something like this is dangerous. It doesn't change anything, and it's not like it could change anything.

Chal makes a quiet noise at that, a little protesting but mostly pained, but it's not like he has found any solid arguments against this either.

After all, he saw Leon die for himself.]

[AH, LEON'S FATALISM... Kashuu's gaze drops briefly to Chal, brow furrowing a little. He imagines they might have had similar conversations before, if he's not trying to say anything about it.

So he'll just say something instead, because if there's anything Kashuu's good at, it's running into walls.]

What happened to here being the exception, huh?

[Even if that's not exactly the way Leon had meant it before, he doesn't see why it can't apply to this, too.]

Things may not always be "fine" in this place if that's the way you look at it.

[Leon doesn't really know how to respond to that either, honestly. It sounds stupid for him to say things like "this place is the exception for everyone but me, because I deserved to die", even if that's how his thought process goes. He's not really sure how to handle being alive again even now, even if he's been slowly picking up the pieces.

His self-esteem is still a trainwreck, and that doesn't make this sort of thing easy.]

I didn't ask for your opinion. [Things that also don't make this easy: Leon being Leon and lashing out at his friends who try to help him.]

I am fine. I have no regrets about what I did or what happened after. It was only as it should have gone.

[... There's a beat, and then his expression twists into some slight hesitation for the first time.]

Though... I suppose if there was one regret to have... it is that Chaltier did not deserve that fate. [AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND ALL for which he's already apologized multiple times, but... it's still something that happened, and apologies won't change that.]

[At the very least, Kashuu doesn't seem discouraged by the barbed remark. He's used to people with this sort of coping method or temperament, and has shades of it himself, so he thinks it's only fair if he knows how to weather it in turn.

It also leaves him a little at a loss regarding what exactly should be said. Topics like this are much too delicate for someone with such a clumsy grasp on the basics of the whole "being human with human emotions" thing.]

But you think that regrets won't help, and apologies won't help, and that there's no point in looking back on stuff like that too closely because there's no point in moving forward, right?

[There's a brief pause after that, like he's considering saying more, but in the end he just sighs.]

I know you didn't ask for my opinion but I'm gonna give it anyway, okay? 'Cause you're my friend, and I don't want you to end up with more regrets later.

[Leon sure looks grumpy as ever in response to that--but mostly he looks unhappy and tense. Kashuu...what Kashuu is saying isn't wrong, but even so, he doesn't feel all too inclined to talk about this with Kashuu.

He can barely even talk about it with Chal.

So he just crosses his arms, closing himself off entirely.]

I don't want to hear it. It is none of your concern whatsoever.

[Don't be rude, Leon........]

That's not how being friends works, y'know. Even if you get all grouchy, it's not like I can just watch you drive yourself into a rut or something stupid. —And it's not even a case of "I'm not your friend!" either or whatever. You're mine, so I'm gonna watch out for you.

[It's a sword thing, okay!! Or just a loyal person thing, maybe. When he finds people that he likes, naturally he has to do his best to make sure they're okay.]

But like I said, I'm not gonna pry or anything. I've said what I had to say and I hope you think about it, but that's it. [He can't force the issue, after all, and wouldn't want to try even if he could. He leans back a little, folding his hands together.]

It's up to everyone to figure the big, important things in life out for themselves. No one can completely point the way - people can only share the things they know and say, hey! If you ever stumble a little while you're walking, you can take my hand if you need to. ...Only if you need to, though. [A brief flick of his hand through the air.] Don't think too much of it.

Don't--

[Don't...what? He's not even sure himself, and the protest is drowned out by Kashuu continuing anyway, and Leon doesn't know how to handle any of this. Kashuu keeps going, and the words Kashuu is saying just don't register right to Leon. That he's his friend. That he wants to help if Leon stumbles and falls.

And really... it's not fair.

It's not right, and Leon doesn't deserve it, and sharply, he finally turns away. If he takes Kashuu's hand when he stumbles...

He'll just end up dragging him down too, just like Chaltier.]

Don't offer something like that. You should know by now that I am not interested in your help at all.

I guess you could say I'm a pretty selfish guy, then. I don't really care if you aren't interested.

[Maybe it would be better to just leave things as they are, but Kashuu can't help his desire to interfere when he thinks he might be able to do even a little good. It is selfish, in a sense. He recognizes that.

But he's unapologetic.

That said, he can tell when he won't be getting any further in a conversation. He sure won't be forgetting this, but he can afford to set it aside for a little while. He strides past Leon, taking care to guide his fox around him, and raises a hand in a parting gesture.]

Take care of yourself, 'kay? Who knows how long this stupid thing will last.

[A lot of Kashuu's words will stick with him for a long time following, honestly--but for now, Leon's giving in to his instincts, and what he always does when confronted with a situation he can't overcome.

He runs away.

He turns immediately without another word and a flick of his cape and he leaves, despite Kashuu's concerned words and Kashuu's attempt at help.

You'd think he'd learn his lesson eventually about this sort of thing--but not this time.]

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