estoria | I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Entry tags:

sanji,
zoro roronoa

I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Who: Zoro

serving_love
When: IC 7/19 during the event
Where: Straw Hat Apartments, Occupancy 2
What: Neither Zoro nor Sanji have ever told anyone else in the crew where they spent their two years training. Spirit fox shenanigans are going to force them to find out each other's secret.
Rating/Warning: nothing I can think of, maybe some sensitive topics discussed?

[Zoro has been on the slightest of edges since the day the world glitched around him, and though he still chalks it up to a technology problem inside ViViD, since it happened while he was in the gravity room, Weiss's information makes him wonder. Was he supposed to be in that train tunnel? Was he supposed to die?

And then this place just gets worse on him today, he wasn't sure for a good number of hours but now he's certain there's a weird white fox trailing him around. Only not a real one, no, it's all wispy and shit, and whenever he turns to look at the flitter of white, gauzy movement in his peripheral sight, it darts away, avoiding his eye. He only saw it once for the fox-shape it is, on his way back from the dojo, and though he hurried his pace to get indoors without it and hopefully trap it outside, he's pretty sure he just saw it drift through the kitchen. Dammit.

He is not drunk enough for this.

He hasn't even hardly settled into the couch cushions and he's up again, pacing, trying to see where the ghostly fox went. Maybe he can chase it out? Maybe he can find a fresh bottle of sake in the kitchen while he's at it. Cook's around, though...]

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[Not talking about it is perfectly fine with Zoro, he's not sure what else he even has to say. He hasn't fully worked out his own feelings, or why now seemed a good time to make a move. Beneath his bluntness and fairly simple manner of dealing is a hell of a lot of uncertainty, but he bulldozes through it the way Zoro always does - by ignoring it and just forging ahead.

He shifts toward Sanji in order to watch him squirm around on the couch, only raising an eyebrow slightly.]

What's so caveman about it?

[granted, he probably fumbled his choice of words, or maybe it was subconscious. He's never been good at that.]

[Arches an eyebrow right back at him.]

You want something, now, nothing says you can't grab it...?

[Well, try to grab it, but conveniently ignoring that part.]

That usually ain't the way I do things.

[Which is not to say that the idea of Zoro bulldozing his way into this -- whatever THIS is -- doesn't send a sharp kind of thrill through him.

So he's probably fucked.

But to forget the consequences, not worry about what any of it means, and just go for it? How hard could that be?]

I didn't mean literally, geez. Just...you know.

[waving a hand helplessly. He's so bad at this]

No time like the present, life's too short, I dunno. Pick an adage.

Why, what were you expecting? How do you do things, besides flail your arms around and go all mooney-eyed? [there's no accusation in his tone but at the same time, don't you dare look at him with the heart-eyes, cook]

[Slight eye roll.]

I know what you meant, I was just— I'm not expecting anything!

[Sudden scowl, but whether it's at the question or the flailing arms comment is unclear.]

I wasn't expecting any of this! Before last week I wasn't even sure you had a shitty libido. [And then his eyes widen a bit.] Not that I was -- I mean, I guess I was curious, but not because...

[Annnd then right back to scowling, as he glares somewhere in the vicinity of Zoro's shoulder.]

Dammit, I don't know. That— [punctuated with a hand flung in Zoro's direction, indicating the moony eyes and such] —IS how I do things, s'why now I don't know what the hell to do next.

[vaguely deadpan] Yeah, well, I don't need any of that shit so don't worry, you don't have to do any of it.

[knowing full well, though, that this little surprise has caught Sanji off guard, putting him out of his easy comfort zone, gives Zoro just a little extra confidence. He sits there all cool like nothing's going to bother him now, one elbow up on the arm of the couch, the tiniest of smirks starting to ease its way back onto his face.]

Curious, huh? Ever actually thought about it?

[leaving it abstract, wanting to see how it goes over]

[Oh yeah, he's really getting himself worked up now. It's like the more collected Zoro gets, the more on edge Sanji becomes. That first comment in particular really has him bristling.]

I wasn't going to, dumbass. That's the fucking point!

[That without all his heart-spewing and spinning around likes a dingus, he's sort of lost. Or at least on completely foreign ground. And how did this suddenly become a 'how the fuck do I move forward?' situation instead of a 'do I even want to move forward at all??' one?!

He tenses at that question, shoulders hunching up as he opens his mouth to blurt out an insta-denial -- except nothing comes, and a few seconds later he snaps his mouth shut again and just glowers.]

No. [A beat.] Not...in a real way.

[Mostly because he never let the wispy, vague sort of half-formed ideas evolve into anything concrete, and all it ever took was one pretty lady to get his brain back on track anyway.]

[and the more bristly Sanji gets, the more Zoro stabilizes. It's easier to wrestle himself into some semblance of control when he can use it to keep the momentum going his way, much like regaining his balance in a fight. Really, if he'd compared this to fighting from the start rather than assume it was different because it was feelings he might not have hesitated at all.

He laughs under his breath at the answer, or really, the pause before it.]

Well, I guess you gotta start thinking about it now.

[though, that's not fair. His smirk fades completely away after a moment.]

No, you don't have to. If it's not your thing, fine. [whoops, not entirely under control yet, if that heat over the bridge of his nose is any indication] Though, you did kiss me back. I was mostly expecting to get back-flipped over the coffee table for even trying, so I'm kinda wondering why I didn't.

[...Well.

Shit.

That's a pretty pointed and straightforward question. One that deserves an answer, though Sanji doesn't really know what to say. He lets his gaze drop, casually examining his fingernails and trying to fight back his own blush for the thousandth time today.]

Because I like that shitty coffee table. Didn't feel like having to replace it after your stupid skull went crashing through it.

[Truthfully, planting a foot in Zoro's face had been the last thing on his mind. For once. He wouldn't have goaded Zoro into kissing him in the first place otherwise.]

Aside from that... Just figured I'd help you out.

[He glances at Zoro again out of the corner of his eye.]

As per usual, you seemed a little lost. Probably from trying to navigate all that pent up sexual frustration.

[Attempt to get back to usual teasing status quo is a go.]

[that just makes him blush even more fiercely, mainly from all the interesting mental images that come to mind from pent up sexual frustration. Zoro wants to deny that he's frustrated but he really can't. He can't even deny that he was lost, in a sense, they both know he was. Not that he couldn't find Sanji's lips, no, but that he didn't know how to act on the desires starting to flare inside him.

Ugh stupid cook, doesn't need to be right about this.]

So what if I was, you wouldn't just. Help me out. The hell is that, even?

[considering how much of their conversation prior involved Sanji yanking his chain, he's starting to worry that this, too, is just having a go at his expense. His brow furrows deeper than ever.]

I don't need your charity, especially if it's not something you really want. Don't fuck with me, cook, I'm trying to be honest here and if it was just a joke to you... [giving him the hard stare, now] Why would you even bother going along with it?

[Zoro, the answer is right there in front of you, dumbass. He can't see it for his frustrations.]

[Oh, for—

Sanji lets out a breath, blowing upwards at his bangs in exasperation.]

Do you really think that damn little of me? I wasn’t fucking with you, you idiot. I wouldn’t do that, not...not in that kinda situation! I ain’t that much of an asshole.

[Which does, indeed, beg the question then, once again: why the hell did he go along with it?

And since Zoro had to go and actually say that he’s trying to be honest here, Sanji feels guilty for not stepping up and doing the same. For all that he’s been trying not to think about it or say anything damning, he knows he has to give Zoro something.

Which makes him groan a bit, a short sound that’s dangerously close to a whine in the back of his throat, before he grumbles under his breath:]

The fuck happened to not talking anymore...

[And then he sighs, meeting Zoro’s stare with a determined, somewhat defensive look of his own.]

I did it because I wanted to, okay? I don’t know why, I just. I felt like it. [He snorts a little.] Wasn’t really thinking about the shitty consequences. Or what it might mean. ...Or if I would do it again.

[that deflates his irritation instantly - insecurities aside, he does respect Sanji enough to know the answer to that. Zoro quiets all over again, flopping both hands into his lap]

What are we gonna do instead, pretend it didn't happen and get on with our usual routine?

[yes, good, a direct look. He faces up to it, locking his good eye on Sanji.]

Fine. That's something.

[which makes him wonder, in turn, if he's planning to do it again, or if that taste satisfied him. Does it mean anything besides he was curious and wanted to try it? Well, if his last complaint shows anything, it's that he might care about the outcome enough that yes, it has meaning. But by the same token, Zoro isn't the type to keep pressing if the cook backs off. They could agree to it right now and get out of it with pride intact.

It's that damn stubborn pride, though, that means Zoro doesn't want to get out of it. Besides, that was a really good kiss.]

[Sanji's look turns skeptical, his eyebrows drawing down as he tips his head a bit in question.]

Fine? You'd actually be okay with pretending it didn't happen?

[Even if that idea appealed to him (which, somewhat surprisingly, it doesn't), Sanji's not sure he likes it being okay with Zoro. It was one thing with the shitty book fiasco when they were acting against their will. But taking that route now seems...

It just doesn't sit right with him.]

No, no! [wow, he's bad at this.] I meant, it's fine if you did it because you felt like it but...whatever. No, I'm not gonna pretend it didn't happen. It did, and I don't regret it.

[earnestly, almost willing Sanji to understand. Even if the cook doesn't want the same thing Zoro does, he just wants them to be on the same page somehow.]

[Oh, well then. That makes Sanji relax a little.

It's almost ridiculous, though. All this over one kiss? It's not like they had a fucking alcohol-soaked one night stand or some shit. Maybe he really is overthinking everything.

And worrying for no reason.

He rewinds back to some of what Zoro has said over the past hour. From "not trying to be mushy" to "don't wanna miss out" and "no time like the present".

And Sanji's own "no point living with shitty regrets" which Zoro just more or less repeated back to him.

All this talk about what happens next, if there's a next at all.

Maybe...

He nods a tad belatedly in response to Zoro, fingers drumming absently again his knee.]

Right. Sorry, that...should've been fucking obvious.

[Clears his throat.]

So. Your best-case scenario. What is it?

[Zoro groans a little under his breath, because it feels like he isn't explaining himself well at all. He's going to have to use his words, real words, not all this vague something and anything.]

I don't know. I didn't really think past that point.

[was he blushing before? well he is now, fiercely, from cheeks to neck to the tips of his earlobes, as he mulls it over in his quick way. The faster he works to think of an answer, the more rapidly the flush spreads]

I don't really got any experience with this so I dunno what to expect. Best case, you're into it, too, and we just sorta see what happens.

[Yeah...sorry, Zoro, Sanji's not trying to have this disconnect with you. He just needs specifics, not abstracts. Trying it out once and then letting go isn't generally how he operates. He has a hard time understanding that someone could be satisfied with getting that taste and then...what, nothing? That's it? You both move on and it's not this Big Thing that everybody has to come to terms with?? Sanji twirls around after women all the time because his interest is in striking up a romantic~ affair with his potential-slash-hopefully soulmate, so the idea of not having an end goal is...new.

So yeah, probably he could've just dropped this and not pushed for answers, let them both gracefully get out of it, but then he would've driven himself crazy wondering about Zoro's motivations and whether or not he was still interested and just not saying anything. Or something equally stupid.

Watching that blush spread is fascinating, though, even if Sanji's not really sure why suddenly now, after everything they've already talked about, THAT was the question that caused such a reaction. He just wants to know what Zoro wants out of this, man, how is that any worse than admitting interest in the first place??]

See what happens.

[Hmmmm that's so open-ended...

But actually. Maybe that's better? Since Zoro is not his potential-slash-hopefully soulmate, obviously, so just rolling with whatever is probably fine. Possibly. And safe. No danger of shitty emotional entanglements.

Wow, he's actually considering this. But you know what? That was a really good kiss and goddammit, he's kind of intrigued now. Fucking figures. He drums his fingers against his leg some more, thinking, but then out of nowhere he's abruptly really sick of thinking and just shoves all that to the side. To hell with it.]

Okay.

[Zoro sits up sharply at that, his good eye going wide. He did not expect that kind of reaction.]

Wait, what? You really want to?

[While it's true that Zoro could have gone on with his life silently and privately stewing over his thoughts, up until he notices that he really isn't satisfied with that one taste and tries another move, and another, continually bugging Sanji until it comes to a head again and next time maybe it won't end so gracefully...this is a much better outcome. Less irritation and potential fights this way.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out in a huff, and then rubs a finger over the bridge of his nose like that's all he needs to squash down the blush that only gets stronger.]

Well. Good. Yeah. Good.

[awkward staring. NOW WHAT? Does he try to kiss him again? Or is that too much? Ugh how does the cook do this?

Or maybe he doesn't...that would explain a lot...]

[Ding ding ding! Geez, ya moron, how many times have you seen him actually be successful?

But anyway.

Sanji ends up rearing back just a touch at that reaction, simply because he's as startled as Zoro seems to be. Everything from the bumbling answer to the deepening blush strikes him deep in his chest, a weird sort of pang that makes his breath hitch. The awkward stare that follows proves to be too much, and for a moment Sanji can't do anything but return it, blinking wide eyes at the other man, but then...

Then he suddenly finds himself having to fight back an eruption of probably ill-timed snickering.

There's nothing negative in it, he's actually filled with the sort of warm fondness he usually associates more with the younger guys on the crew, but still. He doesn't want Zoro to think he's laughing at him, even though he kind of is, but it's just. The fumbling, the fact that he's clearly pleased but still just fucking clueless, god, they're really a couple of idiots. Because it's not like Sanji's making a move here either. Had the shitty giggles not interrupted him, he probably would've sat there in an awkward stare-down until time crawled to a stop.]

So— So it's good, then? Sorry, marimo, didn't quite catch that.

Shut up! [the giggle-fit is cute, but at the same time, exasperating. Zoro can't stop blushing now, and it's the craziness of the whole situation that keeps him from even starting to feel like he's being laughed at. No, it's completely ridiculous, so they really need to learn to laugh at themselves, and after a moment, Sanji's giggles spread to him. Low, quiet chuckles, vaguely self-deprecating.]

C'mon, don't give me that shit. I know this is weird, I never thought I'd ever even be in this situation.

[he throws a hand over and bangs his knuckles against Sanji's knee again.]

You mean the situation that's your own damn fault?

[His laughter does die down, though, finishing with a soft, breathy chuckle, and he reaches out to catch Zoro's wrist before he can draw his hand back.]

Alright, look, you dumbass.

[He shifts closer -- an infinitesimal amount, but whatever, work with him.]

You got about thirty seconds before I light a much needed smoke, so just...

[There. That's sort of an invitation, right? Sanji lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug, as well.]

[oh...right. A cigarette means no more mouth access so...

The hand on his wrist somehow feels intensely more real than ever, so it still takes him a second, but Zoro musters himself and leans over, looming for a moment before shyly brushing his lips against Sanji's cheek. It's definitely not enough, so before the cook can even open his mouth to tease him, Zoro pushes himself up and throws a leg over his lap, trapping him there.

Yes, better. They're really facing each other now, and it's much less awkward for Zoro to make good on the ideas circulating through his head - and ignore the jangling of his nerves. He may be taller, now, but it's so much easier to bend his head and genuinely kiss his comrade.]

[Sanji forces himself to remain steady at the first brush of lips against his cheek, only drawing in a sharp, deep breath through his nose. He might've said something snarky, maybe, but then Zoro surprises him with that move -- he most definitely was not expecting to suddenly have a lap full of marimo, but luckily he doesn't have much time to dwell on it. One brief, wide-eyed look up at Zoro is all he manages before the other man bends down and Sanji finds himself lifting his chin to meet him.

And then his eyes aren't wide anymore, they're sliding shut as he adjusts to the feel of this, the feel of having Zoro's mouth pressed firmly against his own. It was such a whirlwind earlier, but this is so much more deliberate, and thorough, and Sanji ends up tilting his head a little so he can push further into Zoro's space. He has a quick flash of where the hell do I put my hands?! before they seem to come up with an answer on their own and land on Zoro's thighs.

Though that kind of feels like a little too much almost, so he slides them forward, up to Zoro's hips and then lifting from there to grab at his shirt instead. That gives him something to cling to, a way to keep Zoro pulled in close as he continues to kiss him.]

[He's more than fine with hands on his thighs, but tugging at his shirt is good, too. Zoro might have had a good opening move, but it's probably clear after a minute or so that he doesn't have any followup. What little he understands of kissing has already been exhausted and now he's left just sort of holding position, wondering if there's more to this and hoping he's not fucking it up.

He breaks off first but doesn't lean back, holding poised there with the tip of his nose brushing Sanji's cheek, breathing faster. It's only then that he notices where his own hands are, fumbling up the line of buttons on the front of Sanji's shirt. He's not trying to undo them, but his fingers are absently grasping at them as if trying to ground himself somehow.

...oops?]

[Well, Sanji might not have the boatload of experience he acts like he does, but he's at least been kissed before. So he's got some idea of what to do, even if this isn't how he thought he'd be doing it. He almost chases after Zoro when he breaks away, but when he realizes the other man isn't actually going anywhere, he holds his position, too, just sort of hovering there and panting against Zoro's mouth.

He belatedly notices Zoro's hands on his shirt, but only in an absent sort of way. It's enough to send a spike of heat through his gut, and he growls in the back of his throat as he reaches up to thread his fingers into Zoro's hair and draw him back in.]

You pop any shitty buttons off and I'm kicking your ass.

[Is what he murmurs, unthinkingly, as he finds Zoro's mouth again. He's a little more daring this time, lips parting against Zoro's and tongue sneaking out to make things more interesting.]

Eh?

[that's about all he can get out before that mouth is on his again and wow. Zoro has more than once in his life wondered what was so great about kissing that certain people were so obsessed with it. Now he knows. The heat of Sanji's breath against his lips, and then the brush of his tongue...

His eager fingers falter, and then he's looking for something else to grab, groping until one hand slides along Sanji's neck and the other misses and thumps into the couch behind his head. His lips unconsciously mirror Sanji's, going along with the momentum and finding himself rewarded with an all new level of sensation that makes him groan softly in the back of his throat. It's so good he can't stop himself, Zoro threads his fingers up into all that shaggy blond hair and grip tightly, almost begging for more.]

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