(no subject)

[notsogreedy]

Who: Ankh & OPEN for event catch-all. Specific event end prompts for Cole, Hikari, and Eiji.
When: 7/19 - 7/23
Where: Various
What: Memory shenanigans, and then what happens when all the forgotten things come crashing back.
Rating/Warning: Ankh having a total breakdown? There will be a lot of unpleasant memories coming back, so talk of violence and death and things generally going wrong.
Notes: If you're tagging in for general event stuff, ability permissions here and also let me know if you have a preference for memories that are good, bad, or just ridiculous.

Open: 7/19-22 – Around

[Ankh is convinced that stupid little fox is taunting him. Even he can't see where it's hiding most of the time, and for some reason whenever he catches sight of the thing, it's almost always about to go run over someone's foot.]

Oi!

[Too late.]

Cole: 7/23, around noon – Streets, near the zoo

[Ankh hadn't been looking forward to being stuck in a public place that morning, what with the fox liking to cause problems. He manages to spend most of time in the company of just birds, though, which works out well enough. The fox isn't as present today, anyway, seeming fainter every time he catches sight of it.

As he leaves the zoo to get lunch at one of the restaurants nearby, the fox fades out of existence in the corner of his vision – and in the same instant, all the things he had forgotten over the past few days come back to him. Immediately in that moment, this day ceases to be pleasant. He knew he'd lost some things, maybe important things, even, but it had been more than he thought and oh, yes, those were important memories and yesterday was a lie. The things that come crashing back to him now are every reason he had to be wary, every mistake he ever made.

It hits him all at once, and all of a sudden, it's like he can't even keep himself standing. He's by an alley and he staggers around the corner, eyes wide as he slumps against a wall. The only plus side of this is that there weren't many people nearby, and he can at least pretend that no one saw that.]

Hikari: 7/23, after the above - Somewhere in town

[Right now, Ankh doesn't want to deal with people, especially people who happen to have previously talked to him about wiping memories and thinking it's a good thing. When he leaves, he flies, rather than walks; there will be fewer people to bother him in the air. It's only when he finds somewhere that seems presently unpopulated that he lands, collapsing to his knees and trying to force himself to breathe normally.

Unfortunately for him, he's still not as alone as he hopes.]

Eiji: 7/23, after the above – Their apartment

[Ankh wasn't supposed to be done with work this early, and Eiji knows it, but he doesn't care; he's going home. Clearly something happened, because he doesn't even say anything as he comes in, looks at Eiji with a complete mess of not-quite-readable emotions on his face, then climbs up to his bed before falling face first onto it.

No, he is not interested in talking. Leave him alone.]

Comments

Cole: 7/23, around noon – Streets, near the zoo

[fadeling]

[It's hard to say whether Cole had forgotten anything. Maybe he had, but he was always forgetting anyway. It wouldn't have been any different, really. He couldn't remember, but that isn't all that odd for him. All in all, he'd come out of it relatively unscathed--or, at the least, no better or worse than he usually is.

Maybe things are calming down now, too. He still just listens, attempting to help where he can. They don't always let him, but he tries.

He tries to remember people, though, even if he forgets most other things. And he does remember this man. Perhaps that's part of why he appears next to him, seemingly out of nowhere, close enough to reach out a hand to steady him, but he doesn't touch. He knows better.

Then again, it's mostly because he looks, sounds, feels like he needs help, too.]

Stolen and silent, pain that pulses and pounds, plying for playing. They shouldn't play games. Are the shadows gone? Or did they come back?

[notsogreedy]

[A hand reaches out but instead of steadying him it only makes things worse, because he instinctively pulls away, nearly falling over in the process. Did this person actually appear out of thin air, or was Ankh just so overwhelmed with his own thoughts that he didn't notice him getting close?

He ungracefully steadies himself against the wall again, then gets a better look at who it is as Cole starts talking, his eyes widening... and then narrowing as he practically growls-]

You.

[The words don't make immediate sense and he can't be bothered to try understanding. They managed to have a civil conversation yesterday, but right now the last person he wants to see is someone who thinks painful memories should be forgotten.]

[fadeling]

[Cole isn't really sure what to make of that--it sounds like an accusation, only he can't think of why anyone would accuse him of being himself since he couldn't be anyone else. Shouldn't it be obvious that it's him?]

Yes. You looked lost.

[notsogreedy]

[Lost. That's a funny way of putting it. He's pretty sure lost is what he's been the past couple of days, walking around without the memories that made him who he is. Having all those things taken away without him asking, only to have them dropped back on him all at once. Those memories only hurt more that way but they're his and if anything, he resents the fact that something made him forget in the first place. And he won't--can't--admit to himself that he was happier.

People hold on to hurt when they should let go.

Cole wants to help. Ankh can feel it, that desire, and he hates it, because he knows from their conversation yesterday what form it would take.]

I don't want your help!

[fadeling]

[As much as he's getting used to that now, it still makes him sad each time someone denies the help that they need. It was easier when they didn't remember him, but they're too much like the Inquisition here. Their eyes stuck instead of sliding, and the memories lingered. He could take them, but that wouldn't help. IT would make them less and he didn't want that.]

Alright. You don't need to take it.

[notsogreedy]

Who would?!

[It's unfair, yelling back to a reasonable response, but Ankh doesn't care about fair, especially not right now. He needs to lash out, and he can tell that even if Cole says he won't do anything, he still wants to, and that means he really doesn't understand at all.]

What good does it do, just forgetting things?!

[fadeling]

It doesn't, always. Not for people. [It does for him, but he's not a person.] But if it hurts they won't look at it again, they won't listen and they won't learn. Sometimes it gets stuck and I help them unstick it. Nothing should hurt forever. I don't make them less and I don't make me more.

I don't hurt people.

[notsogreedy]

And taking away a piece of someone doesn't make them less?!

[He can think of something painful, but he's looked at that plenty. And he did learn from it. It's why he's careful who he trusts. It's why finding someone he could trust was important.]

But that's what you want to do to me. You say you won't but you want to, I can tell!

[He pushes off the wall, and half steps, half falls forward, to grab Cole by the chin, get in his face and yell at him.]

What is it you think I need to forget, then? What's too stuck?! Tell me!

[fadeling]

[It's hard to tell whether or not the conversation is going well--it could be helping, but he could also be making things worse. Sometimes yelling helped.

It isn't until the man lunges for him that he really realizes he's done anything wrong, and he vanishes, only to appear just out of arms' reach.]

I only do it if it helps. They don't forget what happened, only that it hurt.

It's...a whisper, a worry, a flicker of fire and rage. It's too bright to hear, to loud to see. I won't look. I don't hurt people.

Apartment

[powertotearer]

[Eiji...well, in some ways, he feels like he's back at square one--and all the way back to the way he was when he returned from the war.

But other people have to come first, and it at least gets his own problems off his mind for about five minutes before Ankh wordlessly goes to bed.]

Do you need anything?

[notsogreedy]

No.

[His tone is sharp in a way it hasn't been in a while, even when they've argued. He doesn't even bother looking over as he says it. What he needs is for the past few days to just not have happened in the first place, but there's no chance of that, so he just wants to be left alone.]

[powertotearer]

[He only just manages not to flinch at Ankh's tone, if only because he saw some of Ankh's memories, enough of them to understand how bad he's feeling right now.]

Okay.

[notsogreedy]

[At least Eiji has enough context to know it's not directed at him. Actually, Eiji is about the only thing Ankh isn't mad at. Which is a little frustrating in its own way, because Ankh would dearly love to be punching something right now.

It isn't long before he ends up slamming a fist into his bed, with a surprisingly loud thud for having hit something soft.]

[powertotearer]

[There's a lot Eiji wants to say, about how after the panic faded, he'd lost enough memories that he was actually happy, how much it hurts having it all back and how he doesn't know how messed up that makes him that he's still glad to have it back despite everything. But it's not going to help, and he wouldn't know what to say anyway.

And in any case, the doorbell's ringing, so all he can manage is a sigh.]

I'll get it.

[notsogreedy]

[The most that would do is tell him it's the same for both of them. The unpleasant things were what got lost, and aside from being bothered by the fragments of memories that told him chunks were missing, he was... calmer, at least. But he doesn't want peace if it's a lie. After dealing with Cole, he might find some comfort in knowing that Eiji thinks the same, but otherwise, no, it wouldn't help.

He does glance up when he hears the doorbell, just enough to watch what's going on.]

[powertotearer]

[It's a delivery robot at the door, with two packages, with each of their names on them.]

We didn't order anything, though.

[That doesn't deter it, and it just hands them to him anyway. He brings them inside with another sigh and opens his...

And stops cold at the sight of a beat-up, broken CYbuddy fox.]

[notsogreedy]

[It's the look on Eiji's face when he opens the box that gets Ankh's attention more than anything else. From where he's sitting, he can't see what's inside.]

What is it?

Hikari: 7/23

[givesalittlewhistle]

[No. He certainly wasn't.]

...are you okay?

[When Ankh looked up--if he chose to look up--he would see the eight year old girl standing nearby. Close enough for her words to reach him, but at a distance that respected personal space. She was alone. Or appeared to be. There was no sign of her usual feline companion.]

[What there were signs of, on the other hand, were those dark circles that had been shadowing her eyes for the past several days. A sure sign that, for whatever reason, Hikari still wasn't getting enough sleep, and that incident in the park where she'd passed out in the middle of her afternoon with Tailmon hadn't been an isolated incident.]

[notsogreedy]

[It takes a long moment for him to get himself to some semblance of calm--any appearance of which is immediately discredited as he hears a voice and scrambles backward, wide-eyed. How do people keep sneaking up on him?

He barely processes the words, but if anything is clear from that jumpy reaction, it's that he is very much not okay.]

[givesalittlewhistle]

[Hikari did jump a little herself, surprised by the slightly erratic movement. Combined with the wide-eyed stare being sent her way and--]

[Very much not okay.]

[She recognized him. She thought she had, but they'd only met once before and a glimpse from behind hadn't been enough. Now, though, when she got a better look at his face, she realized it was the boy from the tree. The one who'd reminded her a little bit of Yamato, her best friend's older brother and older brother's best friend. Too complicated cool and something of a private person. Not unlike herself.]

Did something bad happen? [Usually when people made that face, something bad happened.] Can I help?

[notsogreedy]

[He recognised her, too, once he managed to really look. The girl who had fallen asleep under the tree, who had impressed him just a little bit and reminded him of- No. At the time, she hadn't reminded him of anyone. But now, with a jumble of forgotten memories trying to sort themselves out in his head, there was another girl who had impressed him a little bit, a long time ago, and now he knows she was the one he'd been trying to remember for the past couple days. His hand clenched into a fist, hitting the ground beside him.

"-protect the weak-" That much was all he'd had, but now he has the rest of the memory back and knows who said it. The last words of a girl he'd tried to help and failed miserably. Of all the ironies.

And now there was a girl here who wanted to help him? He just stared at her, blinking once, then trying to force himself back to the present. His eyes narrowed and he looked off to the side.]

I don't need your help.

[And it was the second time he's said something like that today. The words came out a bit harsh, but at least this time he wasn't screaming it.]

[givesalittlewhistle]

[Hikari blinked once. Twice. Her expression never once faltering from its relatively neutral state as she gave a nod of understanding.]

Then whose help do you need?

[If not her, specifically, then surely someone.]

I can go get them for you.

[notsogreedy]

[And for a moment Ankh just blinked back at her because that was not a response he had been expecting.]

No one.

[He finally said, pushing himself to his feet. There was nothing anyone can do to make this better, and the only offer of "help" that would change anything at all is one he'd already thoroughly rejected.]

[givesalittlewhistle]

[Her lips pressed together in a thin line. Looking...slightly nervous now. It was obvious that something was wrong, but this person was still new to her. They'd only spoken once before, and while she had a strong feeling he wouldn't try to hurt her, it would have been a stretch by anyone's imagination to consider him a friend.]

[Still...]

If you're sick, you should go lie down. [Take it from her; she was an expert at being sick. And at...what can happen if you didn't speak up in time.] I can walk with you. To make sure you don't fall down again.

[notsogreedy]

I'm not- [He stopped himself, because he didn't know how and didn't want to explain that he wasn't sick, he was just... so many things were wrong, and he couldn't cope. He shook his head. Why wouldn't she just listen to him? ...Why was she even over here by herself to begin with? If anything, the persistent attempts at trying to be helpful were just making him bristle more.] I said I don't need your help!

[If he heard her thought, about how he wouldn't hurt her, he might have laughed. Because he's Ankh; he doesn't care, and even if he does... He wanted to help a little girl once, and only made everything worse. He tried to save Eiji at Inugami and got them both trapped by a forest fire.]

You shouldn't stay around me, either. [His wings grew from his back again. This time, at least, he knew where he was going. Not just away from people, but to find the one he knew he could deal with... and who could deal with him. He flapped his wings, leaping into the air.] Go home!

[He intended to do the same.]