OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA

[theshiningone]

Who: Hiro Kageyama (theshiningone) & Ai Thao Kha (emotive)
When: 7/25
Where: Various places!
What: Bunny dork taking esper dork on an apology date!
Rating/Warning: None for now!

---

[To put it simply: Hiro had screwed up big time and he was going to make it up big time.

Now dating was a new territory for Hiro Kageyama. While he was all for friendship, he never really thought too hard on going out with anyone. And considering the state of the world back home, he didn't really have time to focus on things like that. Fixing the world and survival were his highest objectives. But it never stopped him from joking about it or flirting around. And now that he was the Administrator... Well, he was happy that he could experience human bonds again. Yet the birthday party from a while ago was also a reminder on how painful they could be. When you got too close to fire, you got burned. So in a sense, Hiro felt like he burnt Ai horribly.

And when Hiro thought about it, his main goal here was to patch things up with Ai and try to understand her a little better. Not to get in her skirt and get a free laid for his troubles. And jumping right into romantic territory despite knowing that she liked (??!?) him was still something that he was trying to wrap his mind around. And it was something he felt that he wasn't ready for yet. Quite frankly, he didn't want to send her the wrong signals here and watch this explode into another misunderstanding...

For all he knew, he might have screwed up already by saying "We're going out on a date!" So there he was just standing in front of her doorway for five minutes and wondering how everything would go, what to do... Thanks to some help, he was prepared. But why they could've stayed normal pals like before? He was going to follow through with his promise, but still...

It was a cruel thing to think about, but a small part of him wished that whole prom night never happened. Because that when he felt everything started to change. He was happy that they were still friends, but it didn't change the fact that things were different than before. Oh well. If he started to get overly contemplative than things would fall into a downward spiral. No point in regretting things now.]

... Alright. I'm ready. Here we go. Let's survive.

[That said, Hiro finally knocks on Ai's door. No teleporting or window jumping here.]

Comments

[theshiningone]

Cool! Let's mosey on over there!

[That said, he start to walk and decides to casually brings up a rather sensitive subject. No point in dancing around the topic since it would've been a pain for Hiro. Though his usual cheerful voice is more gentler than usual as he's trying not to be too forceful, but smooth enough to bring it to attention.]

Sooo... How have you been holding up? Y'know... After the whole birthday incident.

[emotive]

[Her eyes widen slightly in surprise as she walks next to him. Ai is quiet for a second or two before answering.]

There... There was a lot of other things that took up my attention. I was worried about Athena rushing into something else dangerous and I took up a second job and I also had to deal with the robots, so... I just kept myself busy.

... Archer is gone too. So I that made me sad.

[Mm, but this made her sound like she was avoiding his question. So better get right to it.]

But talking about what happened with other people helped. Even Miss Otome checked up on me, you know?

... Hiro? Do you still think I'm mad?

[theshiningone]

I'm sorry you had to put up with all of that. That must've been a ridiculous month.

[So things got even busier on her end than his. Really, he wasn't surprised Otome had looked after her over him. Saiduq already gave him a talking too, so that was more than enough there.

Frankly, Hiro was reflective enough to quickly come to terms with his own screw ups, so he didn't really do much heart-to-hear talking with people on his end about it. Otome and Saiduq were the ones who could be most effective, anyway.]

Well... Sorta. Guess I'm more mad at myself than anything else. [Compared to his friends, he felt like he hasn't progressed at all.] But you said that you don't know how to get angry, right? I don't really get how someone can be like that. Anger is a basic emotion that humans feel.

[In the back of his mind, Ai always felt... off to him. He was used to meeting people and seeing their inner darkness that it felt like she was trying to cover things up.]

[emotive]

If... If it's towards someone I care about, I find it hard. It's not that I can't be. Saying I have no anger would be a lie.

[Archer had hurt her before and there was some anger there. She was angered over Archer's death, but that was towards the robot clone of Rin that she didn't view as human in the first place although it tried its best for sure. CEREs is exasperating and fully deserving of everyone's ire, but to Ai, that's what they are; a hateful group although they aren't the only cause of the misery and hardship that crops up in Cerealia from time to time.]

... It hurt. It still hurts. And I wish that didn't happen between us, but I'm not mad at you.

[theshiningone]

[He'll be forcing a smile. It's a sad one, but it's there.]

... I wish things didn't come to that either. It's all my fault.

[He might have had a big ego, but he could quickly admit when he's seriously screwed up. It wouldn't had been the first time that he felt that he might've made a bad decision or his impulsiveness might've made things worst in the long run.]

When you said all that stuff... I thought you were a more optimistic person than that. So it got me really sad and angry to hear stuff like "It doesn't matter" or "None of this will lead to anything". If it was anyone else, I would've laughed at them... But it just hurt coming from you.

[emotive]

... Maybe that needed to happen.

[The mood's become somber, but not in a harsh way. Ai brushes some hair behind her ear before looking ahead and not at Hiro.]

Or else we'd continuing fooling ourselves about each other.

[theshiningone]

... You're definitely right on that.

[That response comes resolved without a second thought as he's also looking forward. It just reminded him of what happened with Polaris' trials. Sad things did happen, but it wasn't entirely so. If they didn't get thrown into those conflicts and were pushed to their limits, then they wouldn't had changed.]

Conflict and arguments can be scary, but they're also necessary. People with two conflicting ideals can't come to an understand if they tip toe around each other. A stronger bond can be born once they learn more about each other. And even if they gotta butt heads through the whole thing.

[He's speaking with a lot of experience on that end. Hiro's fought his friends to show them that there were more than one way and not out of betrayal or a mean streak. He gave it his full strength against them and made up with them after because they were all friends.]

[emotive]

[And Ai had always been afraid of conflict wasn't she? That was one of her core flaws that she still struggled with and probably always will. It's why she never killed on orders, but that's why she never really disobeyed her elders otherwise. She never really understood anyone, much less herself.

Things were painful here and she had been hurt by others, but every day Ai Thao felt as if it was actually living compared to back then. She smiles to herself before replying to him.]

Then... It's okay to learn about each other right now then?

[theshiningone]

Hell no. I don't want to see your face or learn about you at all!

[# F U C K I N G R E K T.

... At least until Hiro gives a playful laugh and follows up with--]

Just kidding! Of course I do. We can become even better friends this way!

1/2

[emotive]

. . .

[Silence.]

[emotive]

[And then suddenly Ai reaches up to ruffle Hiro's hair. Except it's not just any normal hair ruffling. There's some gentle electricity being emitted from her fingers and thus, Hiro Kageyama's hair has just gotten STATIC SHOCKED TAKE THAT. Said hair is a funny sight, kind of like a fluffy bird's nest as soon as Ai lets go.

And she's smiling all the while, and it's just as mischievous as Hiro's.]

And from that, we learn that I can stand up for myself a little better than before. Don't you agree?

1/2

[theshiningone]

[So now he has a bird's nest for hair... Well, he was used to this from riding Byakko and getting random discharges of his electricity every now and then. Though it was rather shady if Byakko did that out of necessary or just to mess with his master.

Either way, Hiro is equally silent.]

. . . .

[theshiningone]

[... Okay, well then. At the very least, he could feel better that picking on Ai wouldn't feel like mocking a soaked puppy. Granted, Hiro always treated everyone like an equal regardless of their rank or circumstances. While he could be polite and even slightly mature if he had to be, it was just easier to be casual like this.]

Yeah, I guess so! Buuuuut-- [Since Hiro is still a brat through and through, he will flick her nose.] You're like Crybaby Ai underneath it all!

[But hey. His good natured trolling is better than his angry freakout from the birthday party.]

[emotive]

[And whose fault was that Hiro!? She lets out an indignant, but soft huff when he flicks her nose as they continue on to the Gardens.]

This coming from the person whose hair looks like a bird's nest...

... Although you wouldn't be wrong. I've cried a lot since coming here.

[Implying she didn't have a lot of chances to cry back home then...]

[theshiningone]

[This was one of those moments when he was more perspective to things that he usually let on.]

So it wasn't a usual thing back home? [That actually raised a question...] So where exactly did you pick up those good manners of yours from? You said that you didn't have any parents, right?

THE PAIN TRAIN DATE'S GONNA KEEP GOING DAMMIT

[emotive]

[... It's a good question. They're almost near the gardens now and Ai looks ahead and there's a distant look in her eyes as she considers a response.]

... You know what Hiro? People learn from each other all the time. Humans grow up learning from those who came before them. And from that, a person develops their own self and most of the time, they'll have someone they can give credit to for how they are and what they've become.

But you already know that.

[She holds up her hand to stare at her palm. Ai's been through so much in Cerealia, in this strange messed up and whimsical world of technology, horror, and incomprehensible mysticism. Everything she's been through was her own and she's grasped at many things with this hand that was a copy of someone else.]

But for behaviors... Someone is usually there to teach you right? You're supposed to learn from others about kindness. Cruelty. Cowardice. Boldness. Goodness. Evil. Boundaries. What's right and what's wrong. How far you should go and how much you should hold back. All of those in between intricacies and little cracks that build up over the years. And normally, you can find a person who shines brightly to you and represents all of those... Usually.

[Her voice is soft now. It almost seems sad even.]

WHY THIS

[theshiningone]

[Ah, she's sounding to sound like Saiduq. Hiro listens out to Ai's speech, but he wasn't sure how to completely feel about this. Honestly, Hiro loved to make friends and was told that he's attracted special people towards them and bought out their special talents again and again... But he still didn't fully get it. And quite frankly, he was getting a little tired of being the 'chosen one' despite the fact he was a normal person.

No, he was the Administrator. Hiro was beyond special now. And like Saiduq said... His role as a human, normal boy and a hero was sadly over. Yet there were some parts of his old lives that he didn't want to part with. Those precious memories that he didn't want to lose for anything in the world.]

And lemme guess. You picked me because I'm the one who represented all of those things, right?

[It's hard to say if he's sounding a little irritable or tired. Even heroes needed to put up the cape every once in a while.]

[emotive]

... No.

[It's a soft, but firm reply, unwavering even.]

Hiro... What I'm saying is no one ever taught me those things. There was no one that I looked up to that made me end up the way I am.

[theshiningone]

Then WHAT made you how you are?

[His voice is unexpectedly curt as she was getting less and less easier to read at time went on. It was times like this where he was unusually aggressive.]

What the hell makes you tick, anyway? Everyone I've met has had a reason in the past to do the things that they did and shaped them up to who are they today. But you... I can't get a good read on you now.

[Which implies it felt like he knew her from before, but now... It's hard to put the puzzle pieces together.]

You're like some kind of doll that goes through the motions, but has no idea what they're doing. Make some goddamn sense, will you?

[Not the most polite or happy way to put it, but now it was out there.]

[emotive]

["You're like some kind of doll."

His response makes Ai stop in her tracks. Her heart feels like she was wavering. Why did this have to hurt again? Why IS she the way she is? ]

... Maybe... That's it...

[Without her realizing it, her shoulders are shuddering, but she's holding back. She doesn't want to cry again, she doesn't want to...]

I'm made from someone else. [There's only one thing Ai is certain of and it's that she's herself, but...]

So... In a way some part of her remains. Not just in physical appearance, but down to what I can call my soul. I'm me, but there's a part of her that I'm born with. And maybe that's why I had awareness of all those things I mentioned. Because she already knew them.

[Ai inhales and then exhales deeply, but it's shaky and unsteady as if trying to hold herself back from being sad.]

Hiro? If I'm a doll then why do I keep hurting when you say things like that? Why did I want to spend time with you as friends, why do I want to spend time with my other friends here, and why would I want so much?

1/2

[theshiningone]

[Hiro stops walking him as his expression was unreadable. So she really didn't know anything about her self. He knew that she was a clone, but...

"I'm made from someone else."

It must've been the fairy in that story that she talked about. Everyone when they were born was usual a blank slate and learned important traits from their parents or some kind of guardian figure. If not that, then the environment that there were raised in was what molded them into what they were. He took Yamato for example. He was an asshole sometimes, but that was due to his family circumstances and a myriad of other things that he probably couldn't fully comprehend.

Her next questions... She sounded like a lost child who didn't have any idea on what to do. Was this really his place to answer this...?]

[theshiningone]

Because...

[If there were a selection box, Hiro saw all three of them say the same thing at once.]

... Because you're human.

[That's all it came down to. It was the only answer that he could give her. Hiro didn't know if this was right or wrong, but it felt like the best one in his book. Through now, he can't look her in the eye as he looks down at his own hand. He was the Human Administrator, right? So this was the only answer that he could give.

Was it fair for another human to judge other humans? Was it fair for a non-human to judge other humans even if they didn't fully understand them? Hiro might have had been different from the previous Administrators, but there was one thing that he may have had in common with them...

Sympathy. He just lacked sympathy.]

... It's okay to want things because greed is a basic human emotion. The important part is how you take those desires. Do you take your greed too far and end up hurting people in the process or do you take it too little and hurt yourselves by not wanting enough? Humans are always walking down that fine scale and sometimes, they'll screw up... But they'll always get back up and try again.

But you probably already know that.

[A beat as he walks up to her.]

Ai... [And now? Hiro will be wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug as he's realized that he's hurt her horribly. Considering what he was now, Hiro hoped that he wasn't crushing her with his new inhuman strength.] I'm sorry for calling you for a doll. You're definitely not one for sure... Even if you've got other emotions inside of you, they're still a part of who you are. And...

[There's a lot more than Hiro wanted to say and get off his chest... But he holds it back for now. He's not sure if this was the right time or not. But there was just so much that he was holding for a while after becoming an Administrator.]

[emotive]

[Ai's arms hang by her side as Hiro brings her into a surprisingly strong hug. She doesn't know how to react to his words or this embrace, not when the hurt still lingered. Perhaps, there was one thing she wanted to know though.]

... Thank you.

[Her arms finally move to wrap around him, gently returning his hug. In comparison to his inhuman strength, hers is delicate.]

If I ever hurt you... I'm sorry too.

[Because she knows that ever since their fight there's too much going on within her, too much that she didn't know how to handle and it was overwhelming. Ai couldn't expect Hiro to just take her at face value, not when it was clear that they never understood each other in the first place. It was never going to be easy.]

[theshiningone]

[He felt that he had to be honest with her. Even if this was going to hurt her, this was the best possible thing to do. Hiro had to explain a little more about what he was now. He knew that Saiduq took Ai's side (due to how similar they were probably) and Otome took her side since she had to be a bleeding heart for hurt people.

But Hiro didn't think that either of them would ever fully understand what he's been going on. Frankly, he didn't many people here would get it. But Ai did explain more about herself, so it was his turn. Hiro talks with an tired expression like he's aged ten years.]

You have. But it's not your fault... Because you didn't know. [He pauses.] I told you that I wasn't human, right? Well, being an Administrator means that I'm not allowed to walk with humans anymore or even exist in the same time as them.

[He could only watch them. Observe them. Have unwavering fault with them. Yet he could never laugh, smile and walk among them anymore. Hiro's voice sounds completely dried up and there's none of that usual cheekiness that he always has.]

And this means that I have to live on for eternity in this body. For humans, life is like sitting in a classroom for a lesson, then they get up and leave whenever it's done. But for me, the class will keep going on and on and on.... And it will never end. I'm going to watch my friends die through normal human causes... and I'm not allowed to interfer with that.

[Daichi could get killed by a robber. Io could get ran over by a car. Keita could get brutally injured in a boxing match and die the next day. Jungo could get bitten by a cat and die from sickness. Otome could could catch a new disease and die on the spot. Ronaldo and Makoto could get beaten to death by criminals while trying to defend Yamato. Fumi could get electrified by one of her own inventions and no one would know. Airi and Hinako could've been killed by a falling helicopter like the horror he experienced in the third world. Joe could've saved his girlfriend from a crumbling building and died in the process. And even Yamato and Miyako could've lived full lives and die normally...

And it would still be sad for Hiro. There were simple and easy ways that a human could die.]

I want to make bonds again, but the thought that everything will end and I won't. That... scares me. [He'll just rests his head into her shoulder with a voice only she can hear.] Getting close to you and losing you scares me.

[emotive]

[Ai listens to his explanation remember that he had told her a part of it during the birthday party. In the end it had always been hopeless. She's hopeless in wanting so much, he's hopeless because he already gave up on what he could have had. She was human and Hiro Kageyama wasn't supposed to be human any longer. And he couldn't do human things any longer.]

... So even gods get scared.

[She doesn't know what else to say. There aren't any right words, just empty condolences, useless sympathy, and her useless hurt that she feels for him. What Ai does is reach up to rest one hand on his head and running her fingers through his hair as if to soothe him.]

I don't have an answer.

[He already knows how flawed she was. And yet...]

But I do know that you won't lose me.

[Does her hug seem tighter? As if she wants to get something through to him?]

Because I won't lose you. There's no way that when this ends that my soul will forget everything that we've been through. It's... You're already a part of me and who I'm going to become. And you'll be there forever no matter what happens.

[Ai knows she's growing up. Ai knows she'll move forward whether it's with or without everyone she's met including Hiro. Her voice is a whisper too, but with an underlying strength that colors her every word and her newly found conviction. And is it hopeless? It's hopeless. But she isn't wavering. There's no shakiness, and there's no crying girl.]