estoria | [CLOSED] Why couldn't their interests just be counting cards at the casino?

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[CLOSED] Why couldn't their interests just be counting cards at the casino?

Who: Sannomiya Shiho (

good_ideas), Akashi Kaoru (

queenofminiskirts), Maruko Reiji (

drinkscola), Minegishi Kazuya (

belfire, Jaune Arc (

beaconed
When: Backdated to August 1st (IG)
Where: The Sannomiya-Akashi-Minegishi Residence
What: Shiho invites an elite team of teenagers to a planning session for stealing another teenager's (

sayonaradumbass bike. Pizza is involved because nothing says I really like pizza like serving it for your heist planning party
Rating/Warning: PG for the planning of heists which is not something good children should be doing

If Shiho had the bottomless (or so Kiritsubo promised) budget of BABEL, this entire set-up would have been entirely different. It would have been all black walls and blue hologram screens. Or maybe App*e products, that all depended on who paid best when it came to product placement.

But instead, without even a hypno user to make everything look at least three-hundred times cooler just for show, this planning session is stuck in her apartment. At least they have enough room on the couch for at least two or three people and anyone else not lucky enough to snag a spot (or without a taser to use to threaten someone off their spot) can sit on the floor. On the table is pizza, cookies and a big sheet of paper with a rather simplistic plan on it that seems to only involve two steps: breaking in and stealing the bike. Clearly, someone got bored after writing just those two things down. And hey, sometimes good things come out of completely crazy ideas. (Or crazy ideas just come out of crazy ideas.)

So sit back, relax, eat some pizza, try not to make a mess, and prepare to plan a heist.

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option a;

[No one tell Shiho that she doesn't contribute anything useful to this plan because she is totally contributing.

By shooting down all your ideas, her chin nestled in her hand as she taps the tip of her pen against the table before she reaches over and draws a biiiig red 'X' over what you just wrote. Hopefully that wasn't something important? Or maybe be glad that she didn't decide to draw a big red 'X' on your face. (Or maybe she already has....who gave her this red permanent marker anyway?)]

option b; the get off this couch it's mine option

[Maybe you thought it would be okay to share this couch with Shiho. There's tons of space and besides, why is she the only one sitting, her legs crossed and looking every inch as smug as some sort of empress on her throne?? Try dragging her off, I dare you.

Or try asking nicely, she thinks that she's really pretty reasonable with her demands?]

[ Jaune collects all the rejected ideas (which is pretty much every idea so far) and reviews them. ]

Okay, so, this is what we have so far-- papers. More papers. Bunch of crossed out things. A stickfigure drawing of Mosley. Pizza receipt. Oh! More X marks? Annd there's another one there...

Now, how do we combine all of these elements to plan the perfect crime? I can't believe I just said that...

Edited 2016-07-19 07:59 (UTC)

[Kaz was only here because there was pizza being served - he only sort of knew vaguely that they were stealing a bike off... somebody. For what reasons? He didn't know. He just wanted pizza. But at Jaune's words, he really couldn't stop himself from piping up...]

Easy. We dress up as Mosley the Pizza Delivery Guy and go straight through the front door. [he nodded as if this was perfectly logical] Then we hit him over the head with the pizza box and take the bike. [Beat] Or we drug the pizza. Or chloroform him. Or taser him.

[ Not gonna lie, the first half of that plan sounded a lot better to Jaune than the rest of those felonies. ]

Chloro-- there's a huge difference between all three of those options!

Firstly: Mosley isn't really a Pizza Delivery Guy. Secondly: this is a heist, not a mugging.

[For once she's actually agreeing that they shouldn't taser someone?? (Then again she actually hasn't tased anyone in a while. She must be losing her touch.)]

Besides, isn't that a huge waste of a pizza? And what guarantee do we have that you and Kaoru-chan won't get hungry and then try to eat it?

We don't know he's not a pizza delivery guy. It could be his part-time job. His secret one. So we'll have to be disguised as Mosley who's also disguised to be a pizza delivery guy.

[That just seemed... needlessly convoluted]

Also: you need to chloroform someone in a heist. It happens in the movies, so it's, like tradition, and I'll obviously make another pizza for me and Kaoru for snackage! Not that it matters on my end since I'm pretty resistant to drugs and stuff anyway, so I bet I could eat a drugged pizza and be fine.

Okay, nobody's eating any drugged pizzas, let's just put a giant red X on that idea. [ Oh my gosh, how did Jaune Arc get to be the sensible one of the group. ]

We need to know what this guy does for a living; what's his daily routine? We need times, we need locations, c'mon, we don't even have a whiteboard of the elaborate plan!

Then why don't we have you dressed up the whole way, with a face mask and dark glasses as Mosley disguised as a pizza delivery guy disguised as an extremely suspicious person?

And if anyone's eating any drugged pizzas, please wait till after the heist, at least. [Also you can eat it alone, Kaz. Don't drag her best friend into this, she's too gullible.]

We don't have a whiteboard because those are expensive, Jaune. And I can find out his daily routine. I just have to drop by. Besides, that bike is practically like his best friend or something. [Or so Shiho rudely assumes.]

I think it would be best to do this in the early morning or something. [When most teenage boys are passed out after an entire night of playing video games or watching magical girl animes or whatever it is that boys do.]

[ B-But Jaune is also a teenage boy...! ]

Assuming we even reach the bike, what's our escape plan?

Throw down a smoke bomb and run for it.

[This is not the actual plan.]

Or we could have Kaoru-chan or Kaz do something, I think?

Huh? Me?

[Aside from setting things on fire, Kaz couldn't - oh, wait]

Oh-! Yeah, I guess I could teleport us? I'm not very good at it, but if you don't mind shaky landings I could get us outta there no problem!

[Beat]

Um, though... I feel obliged to say that there is potential for, ah, accidents in mid-teleport. Such as, getting lodged in walls, or ending up several feet in the air or... uh... [Mumble;] ...dismemberment...

[Shiho leans on her elbows, obviously not worried at all.]

Well, maybe focus on not letting us get dismembered. I think we can deal with the rest of it.

[That's what Kaoru's here for, after all.]

[ Jaune chimes in straight after Shiho. ]

Definitely focus on no dismemberment!! I want all of my parts to be extremely... membered!

H-Hey, don't worry! It only happens, like, a quarter of the time!

[25% dismemberment failure! Those were good odds, right?]

Besides, if the, um, unfortunate happens and... something becomes detached, I'm sure I'll be able to fix it. Um, maybe.

[ Jaune's danger senses are going off the charts here. ]

Okay. Here's a question nobody is asking - is this worth it?

[Jaune wanting all his parts to be extremely membered aside (Shiho swallows a laugh and nearly chokes on it upon hearing that come out of his mouth), before she gives a practiced wave of her hand.]

Of course it is.

[He called her names, okay.

And more importantly he dared her and she's not one to back down from this sort of thing.]

Besides, isn't 25% actually really good as far as odds go? And we wouldn't have to have Kaz take us far. We could even just have Kaoru-chan bust down a wall and then we could run for it.

Oh, but then I guess Kaz is out of a job....? [Planning is hard.] Maybe you can be the team chef? [....do normal people take chefs with them when they're going out to steal bikes....]

[Kaz just sighed, disheartened. The Team Chef? That was nowhere near as cool as "Escape Artist"]

I'm all for chloroforming a guy and drugging his pizza, but wrecking his house for a bike seems a bit too much. [What type of standards were those, Kaz?] Look, my teleporting will go off without a hitch, I promise! I'll- I'll practice and everything!

[And if it's a short distance... it'll go fine, he was sure. If it was a few metres to just outside the house, the odds of dismemberment would be, like, 10%, which meant it practically wouldn't even happen!]

It was a joke. A joke! We're not going to really wreck his house.

[Or maybe they will, he did take her chocolate shake.]

You could practice on his bike?

1: EATING ALL YOUR PIZZAS

[Okay, Kaoru is here for more than the food. Well, she'd be here regardless because she lives here and is Shiho's friend, but she's here to help plan too!

But she's a growing teenager with immense psychic powers and she needs sustenance!

So excuse her while she attempts to eat her own weight in pizza. AND THEN SHE REACHES FOR ANOTHER ONE.]

This stuff is pretty good. [Says the girl who's probably already finished a whole pizza by herself and is still hungry for more.]

2: So How About Those Weird Inside Jokes?

[So, planning. Kaoru definitely has some important ideas to share.]

But we need code names! Otherwise what's a point? Shiho'll be the Cute, Cool Babe. The guys can be Hermione Arc, Maruko Hermione and Minegishi Hermione!

[Some of you might be thinking, why Hermione? It may have something to do with the second item on the list Kaoru is submitting. If you can read the paper she has in front of her, it says, "2. COSTUMES: Shiho and me, something black. Shiho must be in a miniskirt! The guys, maid outfits".]

[ that nickname makes him want to die and he just about disagrees with everything here ]

Dunno if that has a good ring to it.

[ he's read the paper, yes, and still has yet to catch onto the correlation between maid outfits and a harry potter character. ]

And what will you be called?

What are you talking about? Those names are totally perfect, Maruko Hermione.

[It is a joke that appeared in a series drawn by a friend of the mangaka so it migrated to their series and became a running gag.]

I haven't figured it out yet. It makes me self-conscious to think of a name for myself. [She says with the most unself-concious smile ever.]

"Marco" is already a perfectly fine alias, I'd say.

[ and he will stick by that!! the mention of "maruko" causes him an insuppressible, visible twitch. and those words combined with that expression causes him further doubt, evident by the raise of a slim brow. ]

Right. You sure you haven't had one planned out from the beginning—?

Then, Marco Hermione?

Okay, okay, you've got me.

I was thinking I could be Eagle 2. [The question is, who is Eagle 1? And why an Eagle?]

Marginally better. Still a bit long, especially if you're going to shout that in an emergency... [ but he guesses if anyone's going to shout something, then he'd rather it not be something as incriminating as "marco". what a conundrum this is.

all valid questions on the mind. he supposes an eagle is cool, so he'll let that slide. ]

... Why the second???

Hermione M.

[technically only one syllable shorter, but it's still shorter.]

So the people chasing us will be so busy looking for Eagle 1 they'll let us slip away.

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[CLOSED] Why couldn't their interests just be counting cards at the casino?

OTA

a (i'm fine with threadhopping if any others want to tag this!)

/immediately threadhops!

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