estoria | [ open ] you wake up, this is not a dream

Entry tags:

[ open ] you wake up, this is not a dream

Who:

sortileges & you!
When: IC: 08/16 - 08/17 / OOC: 08/02 - 08/03
Where: Multiple places (ViViD, in town etc)
What: The Worst Time to come back from a canon update... aka event stuff + return stuff
Rating/Warning: None, will change if anything comes up!

( ViViD: The worst train ride home, ever | IC: 08/16 )

[ If it weren't for the fact that coming back meant that there was a mix of memories in his head trying to sort themselves into place he might have noticed the warning signs sooner. The signs for Low Energy Levels that kept flashing up were mostly ignored as he just stands in the middle of nothing, hand against his head with his eyes shut tight because it's been a long while, so much has happened and it's weird to figure out that yes, everything is real.

Even this place where he had to get used to technology and a new way of life. His hair is shorter, he's older (though only a little more in age, but in wisdom and life much much more) as too much has happened.

It's a good, long ten or so minutes before he pays attention to the setting. The command prompt and so called "safe mode" mean very little to him so he presumes it's just part of the setting for ViViD this time. At least he knows enough about coming back after one of these trips to know where he probably is, otherwise this would have been even more disorientating. ]

...Hello?

[ Well, it's ViViD but usually there's someone hanging around. Instead it just... feels silent. Like there's nothing else there.

That is, of course, when the signs for low energy levels start going a bit crazier when he starts to walk--his throat starts to feel tight.

And he can't find the exit. ]

Of course the exit wouldn't be that easy to see here, because nothing could ever be easy.

[ Are you someone who was glitched here, or were you ~~stupid~~ brave enough to log in? Too bad, they aren't getting out of this unscathed apparently... ]

( 01: Energy Levels 93% | IC: 08/17 Morning )

[ He'd spent enough time staring at the change on his wrist to know that it probably shouldn't be there, but considering he didn't understand the majority of what was on the ViViD level the day before anyway he just brushes it off for now. He just assumes he should ask someone like Hiro who actually understands the technology here. Of course, that's until he's ran into the problem of Shigeru melting half the flat, his bed trying to eat him and a number of other things technology related.

Is this the real life or is it just fantasy-- it's hard to tell anymore. But. There are people he needs to see knowing that he's probably been missing for days now.

He makes sure he's dressed properly before he grabs his card and key and runs out the door. It's possible you'll catch him at the door if you've noticed he's back by now, if not, he's calling on doors or going to people's places of work or where he assumes they might be by now to check how they are.

By the time he gets there though, his wrist is probably glowing with 76% Weird. But he does force a smile and pretend like nothing has happened to some people. ]

Hello! Didn't expect to see you here. [ Nevermind????? That he came??????? to you??????? ]

( 02: Glitching 100 years into the future | IC: 08/17 Late Afternoon )

[ While the network might say he's back, if you haven't ran into him during the morning, there are some major differences now. For one thing, he doesn't really look like his younger self at all, nor is he acting quite as polite as he might normally be.

A poor alien might walk in front of him and he yells out: Are y'r eyes in the back of your head?! Watch where you're going! along with a sneer. One thing is for sure though... he seems to be enjoying himself??????

The next time though it might be you doing something that doesn't quite pass his idea of acting well, whether it's you pushing in front of him in a queue, accidentally walking in front of him, or just being there and him wanting to be a pain in the butt. Whatever you're doing might give him reason to decide to call you out on it.

What a rude old man. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ they should probably go somewhere safer, but when he says that, she suddenly feels uneasy. does he mean to her apartment? even with things going on, she just isn't sure if she should let him in. maybe she just doesn't want to feel safe with him. to be in a comfortable place with him. it just-- things don't make sense right now. ]

Where? [ she obviously has an idea as to where, but. . . if she can at least stall... ]

[ He glances down at the bag that's walking away. ]

Don't you need to put things away? [ It doesn't feel comfortable at all though, so at least she's getting her wish. In fact, he even pulls away completely now too, hands dropping to his sides as he pointedly looks at the bag. ]

I can wait outside if you want.

[ Because he might not have her abilities, but he can feel it in the air. ]

Oh, I do.

[ it's why she says nothing else after that, and instead walks past him to pick up the bags that are moving on the floor. entering her apartment ends up as a challenge though as the door refuses to open even when athena's swiped her key on the holder. she doesn't really have the strength to force it open either as she hasn't been eating these past days. it's why she tries to kick at the door instead, and then push at it with her shoulder when it doesn't work. it slides open eventually, and she goes in. ]

[ Really he could do something to help with the door, but by the time he's making himself move (it doesn't feel like he should get too close right now, giving her the space and everything) she's already going inside.

But he doesn't.

Instead of following her in he shifts to the side and presses his back against the door frame and wall, then sinks down there to wait until she's done. ]

[ it doesn't take her long to set the bags on the counter in the kitchen, but she does take a moment to just breathe while he isn't around. really, if she could just jump out the window and run away, that'd be great, but running away never solves things. and that isn't how she handles problems, either. she probably shouldn't take too long though. who knows what he might think. ]

You shouldn't stay there, [ is what she says to break the silence, now that she's by the door. ] It-- The door isn't working properly. [ and so are the other pieces of technology in the apartment. ]

[ He doesn't even use the time to breathe, there's too many emotions and no emotions all at once, and while he's already talked to Rei it doesn't make any of this any easier.

He glances up when she comes back, and gives a small shrug. ] I already had a fight with my bed when I woke up, it's fine. Is anywhere in the city safer? I haven't left the apartments yet.

No... but things should go back to normal in a few days. [ that's what she guesses, anyway. things always go back to "normal" after a few days.

still, he's so close to the door and it might shut close at any time. just because his bed wasn't cooperative earlier doesn't mean it's okay for a door to try and crush him. ]

I guess there's the fire exit.

it only has stairs! ]

[ He nods a little, in agreement or just listening to her, it's hard to say.

Luckily he isn't close enough for the door to crush him unless it de-attached itself. ]

Then where?

Follow me.

[ she nods towards the other end of the hallway where there's a door. unlike most doors in cerealia, this doesn't slide open, but instead, you push it open like a regular door. there shouldn't be any people hanging out at the fire exit either, so they can talk there or just bask in each other's silence.

it's when merlin stands up that the door to her apartment slides shut on its own. ]

[ He doesn't even glance back at the door when it slides shut and does as she asks anyway. This time he does actually follow her through the door, but he tries to avoid looking out without a window there. It's weird, being this high up again. He hasn't exactly had to deal with this for a while (for him) now.

Instead he stares at his hands, at the leather and cord bracelets tied there, along with the stupid energy level blue glowy tattoo thing that's stuck there from the ViViD mishap.

And stays quiet. ]

[ it's cold, but she sits on one of the steps of the stairs. her legs are folded and are close to her, arms around them so she can be as little as possible.

she doesn't say anything for a while, and instead just stares at the floor. she wants to ask how long it's been for him, and what happened. she wants to know what his world is like now. she wants to know if he's okay... the latter, she probably has a clue. and she isn't making him feel any better by acting the way she is now. she can't help it, though.

in the case that he doesn't say anything for about three whole minutes, she asks: ]

What happens now?

[ He just keeps his back to the wall, letting the gap stay in place because he can't tell what she wants right now either. It has been a long time for him. At least a year.

He met someone else in that time. Lost her. And really he hadn't known any of that before but it doesn't make the guilt any easier either. A lot has happened for him to feel guilty about though.

He stays quiet for another long minute before answering with: ] What do you want to happen?

[ she bites her lip until it bleeds so she doesn't cry again. this is better. and she expected him to throw the question back at her, but that doesn't mean she has an actual answer already. ]

Whatever you want is what I want. [ well, that's not true, but she doesn't want to be that selfish anymore. ] If. If you want to be just-- just friends, then... Okay. Or if you want me to go away, then I will. [ even if that's worse than dying. to her, anyway. she just doesn't want to chase after something that probably wasn't meant for her in the first place.

despite not wanting to be selfish, though, that's probably such a selfish thing to say. ]

[ Well he isn't looking at her, because he doesn't want to sit and watch her be in pain, either. Especially as he isn't even sure how to make her stop thinking so negatively right now. ]

It doesn't sound like it. [ He'd wanted things to just slot into place like he'd never been gone. Not... this. Whatever this is.

He doesn't know how or why she's spun herself into these thoughts either, but she isn't exactly wrong so it's probably a good thing she hasn't brought up the "why" yet. ]

I didn't want anything to change--but it already sounds like you made up your mind that it has to.

[ B l u n t ]

All I wanted growing up was to save Simon. I was able to do that. Now, I'm just a lawyer. [ there are probably things she'll end up thinking that she has to do in the future, but right now, her story's ended. ] And then I found myself here. I wanted to go back home.

Then I met you.

[ and even though they've only known each other for a few months, he's changed her completely. ]

I just... want to be with you. [ and she did have him for a while. she thought her life was perfect then. dreams achieved, doubts about the past fixed, having someone she could share her soul with. but that didn't exactly last long, did it? ] When you left... I-- I just. It was worse than dying. To me, anyway. I doubt you think the same way.

[ she pauses then, bowing her head a bit as her nails dig into her skin. ]

I thought I could be with you forever.

[ He waits while she speaks and then finally moves to sit on the steps, too. He can't sit on the same level as her because of the width of the emergency steps, but he does go below her, sits a bit to the side so he can finally try and look at her. He waits a beat while he gets settled, then offers: ]

I know it was what you always feared, but we both knew it was possible. It could have been you, it could--was--me in the end but. If it had been the other way, I would have felt that too.

So if you're going to doubt what I feel, what should I be doing? [ Then even quieter: ]

What should we be doing, because forever isn't real, is it? Is this not enough for you?

[ You aren't dead, Athena, and that means a lot more than she could probably know, too. ]

[ how could you ask something like that, merlin? you were the first one to say that you were serious about this. maybe you aren't as serious as athena is now...? ]

I don't know. I-- [ her lower lip is already way too red but she bites on it again, but she ends up crying again. there isn't any loud sobbing accompanying the tears this time, though. ] I don't want to go back home... not anymore.

We can't stay here forever. In the end, whenever that will be, when things are over and we've found a way to go back home... I don't think I will. [ she lifts her head a bit then to look at him, but she looks away inmediately. ] I mean, I've done what I have to do at home, right? So... I'm allowed to do something I want to do.

[ hushed now, she whispers: ] Please let me be with you. [ which is her own way of saying that she'll follow him wherever he goes. it isn't something that she's thought of on the spot, either. that night when she went out with yuri and rei... it started this whole way of thinking. it made her not want to go back home.

forever may not be real to her anymore, but it can still redeem itself. she just has to take matters in her own hands. ]

[ Look, he can't see the two worlds colliding. He also knows from experience now that at least if she did go home, she wouldn't remember him--just like he hadn't remembered her. It'd make the change easier. Again, however, he doesn't say that much. That would be too cruel. ]

I already told you that I didn't want to go back.

[ Before, he means, when it had come up after he died here. He still doesn't know about his own immortality (or at least his extremely long and lonely life to come) but he doesn't necessarily need to go back now. At least it feels like he's reached a good point and even though Uther is in a bad state over Morgana's betrayal, Arthur seems to be more at peace for the time being.

He pauses again, then sighs out. ]

A lot happened, of course it did, but it's separate to here. At least that's how I feel. [ a beat, then: ] I just didn't expect you to start questioning things as soon as I found you again.

[ you will go back, though...

but she doesn't say it out loud, instead just tells herself that. it's because people go away--it's because she loses people that she'd be willing to just put aside (more like throw away) what she's worked for just so she doesn't have to lose them. somehow, in her convoluted way of thinking, this is a good idea. ]

Why? Who wouldn't react this way? I didn't think that it would actually happen. That you'd go.

I don't want to be this way... I don't want to. But it's hard not to think about these things.

[ One day they all will, Athena. That's something they can't fight. It's just a shame he definitely stopped fighting fate a long time ago too. At least back home.

Now though, he pulls his knees in closer and rests his hands there. ]

I still had things to do. I probably had to at some point, but... I came back. I promised I'd always come back.

You promised. That's why I didn't take the bracelet off. I waited.

[ she isn't denying that. she isn't crying because he went away. she's crying because she wants this to last forever. she doesn't really want to be happy now if it'll mean they'll have to go their separate ways eventually. it's why she asked him to let her be with him. not just here, but wherever he goes when all of this is over. she'll find a way to make it happen, but she'll only try if he says it's okay. whether it's here in cerealia, or if he goes to another world, or if he goes back home. . . she doesn't know, really. but she wants to follow him wherever he'll be in his future. ]

Exactly. [ He reaches out finally to tap her leg with the back of her hand. ] I kept my promise, didn't I?

[ Though it was out of his control, all of this was. Morgana. Morgause. Cenric. His father. Freya. The lives that were important to his life whether good or bad. CERES, a company that brought them here to begin with who could fling them through time whenever they wanted.

He leans to the side a bit as his hand drops to the steps, and he glances towards the floor. ]

Would you be willing to leave everything behind though?

[ when he asks that, she has to think about what's at home. she doesn't have a family, she's done with school, she's-- well, she's accomplished a lot for her age. simon is free and she was able to prove that he didn't murder anyone. that was all she wanted. her story's really come to a close. now it's just having to live life until she dies.

there is, of course, phoenix, apollo, and trucy. she isn't related to them by blood, but they're her new family now. thinking about having to leave them hurts. she's thought about this for weeks now. but they'll understand. they're good people.

and yet... her voice breaks when she replies, as if she isn't convinced with her own answer. ]

I don't really have much.

[ He watches her as she thinks, but it isn't just people he means. Even though he knows she's close to Phoenix from how the other tried to give him the Dad to new boyfriend talk--it isn't just that. ]

We don't have technology. We don't have hygiene or food like you know now. You should know that from what you've seen here. I'm not saying to give up, but... you shouldn't have to give everything up forever either. We don't know what will happen when... everything here is done.

If it ever is.

[ she coughs a bit again, and she can even feel her tummy start to hurt. it's why she places both her hands on it and pushes to make the pain stop. being conscious and not just being in bed (or on her mattress on the floor) is making her body realise that she hasn't eaten for days. but hey, at least she didn't take the bracelet off!! sweats... ]

... We don't know. [ she peeks up at him then, as if trying to read his mind just from the eye contact. ] I just know that I want to be with you, no matter what.

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stabs in the kokoro

Evaporates

yw

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