[Semi-open] Hard to say somehow we'll be alright

[moribound]

Who: Minato Arisato moribound and close CR/medical staff
When: 8/19 to 8/22 IC
Where: Hospital wing
What: Minato’s been having a bad time with everything lately, and no one can tell him landing in the hospital is a good thing...or is it?
Rating/Warning: Some discussion of death and possibly trauma



[It’s starting to seem as if the madness infecting Cerealia’s robots will never end but Minato can’t bring himself to care as he makes his way through the park, staring off into the distance at a tree he remembers well.

There’s no one finding comfort in its shade right now, yet he can almost make out a tall and sturdy figure if he stares long enough, only for it to disappear the moment he raises a hand and rub his tired eyes.

I’ll ask you again. Why are you still here?]

I… [He swallows, cutting himself off. What right did he honestly have to say anything after making such a mess out of things? It’s not just Yu that Minato feels bad about now that he’s away from the other’s Shadow; how many of his other friends here could have thought about him the same way- wanting to help him, only to be pushed aside?

The humming of wheels and sirens starts so suddenly that he gasps when he hears it, realizing to his horror that he hasn’t much left to defend himself. He’s been expanding far too much of his energy due to the glitches to fight back against the automobile and police threatening to run him over, and dodging it is out of the question as it’s certainly going to outpace him. Still he flees, counting on his knowledge of the city to get to somewhere safe.

Coward. That was certainly not something Yu’s Shadow had said to him directly, but Minato feels that sentiment was conveyed as such through his repeated attempts to make him leave. And now he’s escaping again, alone and defenseless- Staying together had been all but impossible for his roommates as three of them were capable of leveling a city of their own and Shiho had her own share of problems too, and Minato’s really starting to feel the pinch while he continues to run, glancing back a split second to see if he’s lost his pursuers-

Then he nears stairs he’s not familiar with and the rampaging automobile leaps out from a clearing above, and he slips in his haste to run. It’s a long way down and the now jagged stairs elicit cries of pain from him with every bump, even though he’s shielding him head by covering it with his hands.

The screeching sound of tires is the last sound Minato recalls as things slowly start to fade but it’s a fire he sees when his eyes begin to close. ...do I really want to die alone?
Minato honestly expects to be back at ViViD when he wakes up, only to find himself lying prone on a bed in a dimly lit room. It’s not right, he thinks; he vaguely recalls falling with something hot on his heels and no one should have been able to survive that.

So why?

Exhaustion eventually claims Minato’s attention for the night, but even waking up to see that he’s in the hospital wing isn’t answering any more of the questions he has. Not that he can do anything but wait, as his head’s bandaged and he’s fractured more than a few bones.]

Comments

[good_ideas]

[Sitting beside the bed of someone completely unresponsive most of the time would probably be incredibly boring to Shiho normally. But at least in this moment, she has her own anger and helplessness to stew on as she massacres innocent oranges and apples into attractive little shapes. She's already checked the report hanging off the end of his bed, managing to stop herself just short of reading him no matter how much she wanted to if only to find out who was responsible for this and make them wish they'd never been born.]

....Hey.

[Her voice is very definitely worried as she sets down her paring knife next to the line of rabbit-shaped apples.]

[moribound]

Shiho...san? [Even Shiho's distinctive hair leaves Minato initially drawing blanks as he opens his eyes, his head still feeling like it's filled with cotton instead of holding a brain capable of recognizing his friend at once. He's hardly in pain at least even if he's staring back at her vacantly; that will come later when the painkillers wear off.

Some small and blurry figures sit just beyond his ability to recognize them too, but he really doesn't know what else to say right now.]

[good_ideas]

[Shiho hadn't made a promise to herself not to cry. She hadn't thought she would. So she has no idea why everything is going blurry as she sniffles and pointedly tries not to scrub at her eyes.]

Yeah.

...How are you feeling?

[More importantly: is there anyone she needs to destroy to make things better.]

[moribound]

['Fine' comes to mind when Minato's asked about how he's feeling all the time, only for it to be interrupted by a wrenching sensation in his chest when he hears her sniffling.

Shiho would never cry unless this really affected her, and in that moment his physical injuries simply can't hold a candle to how awful he feels about nearly everything since he returned.]

...Better than I could be feeling. [It's about as blunt as he can put it, given that he'd expected to be comatose at best.] What about you?

[good_ideas]

I'm fine!

[It comes out defensive, because of course, no one is allowed to point out when she's crying. Not even people that have been hit by a vehicle and are lying in a hospital bed having just woken up.]

And that doesn't matter. What does that even mean anyway? "Better than I could be feeling"?!

[Now that she's started ranting, she actually feels a lot better, honestly. She reaches over and rearranges the apple slices once again until they're as pretty as they can be and pulling them closer. Prepare to eat some apples, Minato.]

[moribound]

[Minato can be surprisingly relenting even when people are ranting at him and he just lets Shiho have her way before responding, almost raising a hand to his head before having second thoughts about it.]

I thought I was going to die. [It's said flatly, with little trace of emotion even for Minato.] But I guess that's not quite right... [Because he wouldn't be feeling anything if he was dead.]

[good_ideas]

["Well then you shouldn't have thought that" is on the tip of her tongue and she almost interrupts him. But she hears the flat tone, and bites it back, simmering in an anger that she knew was completely ineffectual. She didn't know if she was angrier at him or at herself or at the world at large for failing her friend.]

....then what is right, then?

[Pretty though the apple slices may be, she rearranges them on the plate yet again, more than prepared to launch into another rant depending on his answer.]

[moribound]

...That I should be glad to be alive. [Funny then that Minato doesn't seem to be happy with that outcome in spite of thinking that it's the 'right' answer.

He watches Shiho rearranging the pieces blankly, fighting the urge to sit up.] That's what people usually think, don't they? [Except now he's being a burden to his friends, and he doesn't like that at all.]

[good_ideas]

[He hasn't tried to sit up, so she lets herself calm down just a touch more, reaching for the fork on the table.]

And you're not thinking that.

[It's not a question so much as it's a statement, nudging a slice of apple with the fork before she spears it with as little violence as possible.]

Here.

[Apples are good for you, Minato, and she's not listening to objections.]

[belfire]

You can't be left alone, can you?

[That was most definitely Kaz's voice coming from Minny's bedside, and indeed, if Minny turned his head to look, he'll see that Kaz was currently occupying a ridiculously uncomfortable hospital chair with a basket of... something on his lap. Judging by the warm, homely smell, it seemed it was freshly baked goods - Kaz timed his visit right]

Honestly, everyone's powers go crazy, and you pick a fight with rogue truck or something. [Nevermind that Kaz spent his own time doing equally dumb shit, but at least he was robust enough to walk away from a vehicle collusion with only bumps and grazes! Minny was - Minny was squishy] Whatever, least you're alive.

[moribound]

[It's really Kaz's voice that makes Minato turn his head to look rather than the baked good in spite of evidence usually pointing to the contrary (He can smell the food just fine facing away, after all), and he sort of regrets it immediately after when his neck smarts and he winces.]

Uh, I think it was the stairs... [Was it? He vaguely recalls falling but he can't remember if whatever was chasing him succeeded in catching up.] But I must be lucky to even be here, huh. [Minato believes in destiny and luck a little more than most people his age, but he can't say he believes himself to be inherently lucky unless he draws a fortune that says he does.] Did you make that yourself, Kaz?

[belfire]

[Kaz sniffed]

As if I'd buy food when a friend's in hospital...

[To be honest, there was a lot more back in the singed remains of their apartment. He learned how to stress bake with his unruly flames to try and keep his sanity throughout this trying time, so there was lots and lots of pies waiting for him - them.]

It's apple pie, if you're curious. Not very imaginative, yeah, but... [he shrugged, and fiddled with the edge of the pie's container] So. What happened? I just heard you were in some sorta accident.

[moribound]

[Friend. The apple pie's smell is certainly whetting Minato's appetite even though he's hardly capable of eating it well in his current condition, but his head dips as a disconcertingly sharp memory comes to his mind.

Your care doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Why should it, when you were being false from the very start? I don't even want to look at you.

It'd have been easy for him to just tell Kaz that he fell down the stairs after being chased. It would have been truthful and also the easier of the two options considering Kaz's rather low opinion of Yu and how it hadn't been Yu's fault, but even if Kaz is still as high-strung as before he wants to believe his friend has made a change for the better.]

Apple pie sounds delicious. [That isn't what Minato meant to say first but he just settles down with a sigh before continuing, almost grateful for the painkillers he must have been given even if he's ill at ease with the fog and muddied thoughts floating inside his head.] I fell down the stairs, and...I was talking to Yu-san a while before that, only he wasn't being himself. [He exhales again, a part of his mind already trying to back away and trying to clamp down on him.] Do you remember that day when I came back late? ...we had a fight, and I broke up with him.

[belfire]

[The look Kaz gave Minny at that was utterly unreadable]

...really. [Even his tone was strange, and slowly his eyebrows began to draw together in a frown] Hm, that explains why you smelled so upset that time. I was gonna ask but, you're sorta like a clam when it comes to you, so I didn't wanna press.

[Because even though Kaz was determined to try and deal with his emotions healthily, as Shiho told him he should, he didn't feel comfortable being pushy with Minny - who dealt with things as equally as horrible as himself - when he himself was still a mess. Maybe he should've pushed, he thought irritably, then maybe he could have somehow, magically, prevented this 'accident'.

And as well, Minny could've just said he fell down the stairs without mentioning Yu, so Kaz had a sinking, awful feeling that once again, Yu was responsible for his friend being hurt (least he's alive this time round). He thought to himself for a moment, debating, before deciding to be blunt;]

Did Yu push you down the stairs? [the question was abrupt, his tone detached] He didn't strike me as the type to be a psycho-ex, but hey, wouldn't be the first time someone who appeared sane and well-reasoned flipped their shit.

[moribound]

[It's a pain for Minato to move himself like this but he does look up abruptly when Kaz asks if Yu pushed him down the stairs, not because it's true but because of what he says after that. The resulting ache in his neck is sharp, almost burning compared to the rest of his body and he grimaces before exhaling lightly.]

...Sorry. He didn't do it, but he did say he thought I was too busy getting killed to care about him when we met. [If he had to be honest, Minato was only mentioning this part knowing Kaz could get at least as darkly morbid as him.]

I'm not sure if it was a glitch, but he was acting both insecure and cold at once...still, those words and everything else he said really got to me. [And had he not been thinking about them he most likely wouldn't have fallen down the stairs, is the implication.]

[belfire]

[Kaz snorted obnoxiously]

He sounds like he was being a total tool, glitch or not.

[And very lucky. If Yu had been the one to physically shove Minny down those stairs, the persona-user would've found himself suddenly missing some vital limbs. As it was... well, Kaz was still miffed, because obviously this fight they had had affected Minny so much that it distracted him from his surroundings, so it was kind of his fault, but it wasn't so offensive that Kaz felt compelled to hunt him down in the middle of the night. He'll... sit and wait]

But you two broke up, huh? [he seemed to consider his words for a moment] Was it 'cuz you upped and vanished for a while? Or didja see the light back home and realise that you could do be- um, I mean, realise that he wasn't the one for you?

[moribound]

I agree, but I think he was doing that on purpose...like he couldn't hide what he really felt about me while he was glitching. [Strictly speaking Minato doesn't know Shadows the way the Investigation Team does, but he does know that emotions are a core part of a Persona and things can get ugly when they go out of control.

It's hard to catch since Minato isn't moving much, but he does seem a little tense when Kaz questions him. Even knowing that Kaz was considerably more secretive than his other friends and he most likely wouldn't have minded not knowing things about himself, he can't help but wonder how would his friend react to knowing what had been the catalyst of their break-up.]

Yu-san found out I was keeping something hidden from him a few days after I came back and confronted me about it... [Confronted. It's a word that's odd for Minato to use since he tends towards neutrality, but there's really no other way to describe it.] That was when I realized I couldn't keep lying to him, and broke up with him. [His tone at the end is level, but soft enough it's clear he's still sad about how it ended.]

[queenofminiskirts]

[Kaoru didn't like feeling helpless. It was a feeling she was far too intimately acquainted with in her early childhood and when Minamoto told them they could be anything, go anywhere she had believed him.

She was strong. She would be stronger than anyone else.

And yet, she hadn't been there to protect anyone this time. She was barely able to protect her friends from herself and she definitely hadn't been there to help Minato.

She doesn't wake him up when she found him sleeping. Though she does fall asleep with her head pillowed on her arms at his bedside. She's exhausted from her powers going out of control.]

[moribound]

[It's almost afternoon by the time Minato stirs, and he would have gone straight back to sleep had he not seen Kaoru sleeping by his bedside, her fire engine red hair being distinct even through the fog clouding his eyesight.

Kaoru-san... Minato couldn't say he knew Kaoru as well as he knew Kaz or Shiho, but Shiho's trust in her was something he recognized to be as unbreakable as his own bonds with SEES. There's more that meets the eye to Kaoru than just her constant cheeriness too, of course, what with the sharp contrast between how she and Shiho tried to hide their powers even at Cerealia and in how they'd both been extremely afraid of their powers going out of control.

It's in seeing Kaoru falling asleep here instead of resting properly in their apartment that he realizes just how much all four of them had in common, struggling with their powers, wanting to protect everyone and yet pushing them away for fear of hurting them. It's a remarkably sombre and clear thought to be thinking of when he's only just gotten up, but it does at least dispel enough of the fog for him to reach out to Kaoru, tapping her gently on her shoulder.]

Wake up, Kaoru-san...you'll catch a cold if you sleep like that.

[queenofminiskirts]

[They weren't so close, but Kaoru can't help but to care about people, even the ones who were perfect strangers. Let alone Minato, who was someone she was acquainted with who was important to people around her.

She doesn't really wake up though. Only mumbles a bit, curling away from his hand.]

...just five more minutes, Minamoto.

[Excuse her for a minute. She'll wake up in a moment...maybe.]

[moribound]

[Minato's no Minamoto and he would have kept trying to wake her up, but for the rather abrupt realization that his wrist is actually sprained and he'll hurt it if he keeps moving his hand.

Pulling back with a sigh leaves Minato with little else to do but to look up at the ceiling or to talk, and much as he's not inclined to the latter it beats the former by a long stretch.]

Minamoto...do you miss him? [It's pretty obvious this person has to be a guardian of some sort, and Kaoru must be really fond of him if she's talking about him in her dreams.]

[queenofminiskirts]

[She hears the words, but in her dream it is Minamoto who asked it and she smiles.]

Yeah. Because Minamoto's the best...I really...love you.

[But, in the slow, dreamlike sort of way, she notices belatedly that Minamoto was speaking in third person and that was a bit weird. And the voice didn't really sound right either--

--ah.

She blinks her eyes open blearily. And it sort of hurts to wake up, because she knows he's not here...

Then she looks up and, oh, looks and there's Minato.]

Oh. Uh. [She's rubbing at her eyes.] When did you wake up? [She's still waking up herself so the words are still a bit slurred.]

[moribound]

...Just a while ago. [Minato sounds half-asleep most of the time, but right now he appears to be on the verge of passing out mid-sentence, what with his words being dragged out, almost as soft as a whisper.

As for what Kaoru was saying just now...well, it's awkward and he'd normally not ask given the circumstances but Minato's not particularly shy about his curiosity most of the time either.]

I heard you talking about someone called Minamoto too. Is he your guardian?

[queenofminiskirts]

[She sees that he's tired and when she stretches she says,] You should probably rest some more. Get your strength back so we can take you home.

[She makes a face.]

Well, I wouldn't call him our guardian. But he's been taking care of us since we were five... [Pause.] What did I say?

[moribound]

I'd like that. [He doesn't want to be here. The walls are too white, it's too quiet and the memory of day after day of isolation is too much to bear even while groggy and drugged.]

And...you said that you love him. [He's just repeating what he heard, because the matter of right or wrong when it comes to a teenage girl loving her guardian isn't anything he'd think about.

And yes, he does too count as a guardian. Or cook. Or servant. Something.]