estoria | [mostly open]

Entry tags:

[mostly open]

Who: Saitou Hajime

tsuranuki & (nearly) anyone
When: anytime during Event 33
Where: Various
What: Implants suck. Having no control over things sucks. Forgetting things sucks. A lot of things suck these days.
Rating/Warning: Slapping on a warning for violence; will edit if necessary.

OTA [ Option 1; temp blindness ]

[ He'd been gone for a bit; lost a few days. Hardly anything out of the norm, so as long as it wasn't months. But going blind was a first. Yes there had been that moment of strange vertigo but he just chalked it up to sunlight. But to suddenly lose sight, and not have it return instantly...

Shit.

Of course, it has to happen when he's outside. Maybe it's time to not leave his apartment until this turn of events is ever. Because they always have a time limit, don't they?

Or so he hopes.

But if anyone sees him, they're going to see him slowly shuffling with a hand out so he doesn't walk into a tree. And if he steps on your foot, well...it's not on purpose. If asked, all he will say is that he seems to have lost something. It's not that he asks for help, but that he still can't really believe this has happened. ]

OTA [ Option 2; temp memory loss ]

[ Saitou doesn't get lost. Never. Not once in his life has he gotten lost unless you counted being a kid and kids do things like that. But try as he might, he already walked into several wrong buildings, the wrong stores, and the wrong district. And...oh the luck, he forgot his Cerevice today as well and there isn't any way to contact people.

At this point he's considering the possibility of killing himself; that would reset everything, wouldn't it? He'll wake up somewhere familiar but odd, no doubt. But he might lose his clothes again, or maybe his sword.

So instead he's wandering, hoping he doesn't lose his sight, or anything else. Probably with great reluctance he'll approach someone and ask them where he is, because he doesn't have any wishes to sleep outside. ]

Closed (for now) to already-established CR [ Option 3; bloodlust ]

[ Honestly, he did pretty well. Aside from one time, when had he activated his rasetsu powers, no one knew about it. He's kept it low-key. The sun was a bother, and so was the blood, but...well, if he's not stressed, it was bearable.

But only just. And these past few days have been on-off difficult. There was the blindness, the inability to move his fingers, the gaps in his memory. Were other people slowly losing their minds too? Even he can't say the exact cause at that time that triggered his vision to haze and he falls over. His hair turns white and if anyone is close enough to see, his eyes glow an unnatural red.

If it's early enough, he's still crouched there, with his own blade pressed to his chest as he breathes. Control was finicky but he still aims to try. Hopefully no one had cut themselves because just the very scent of blood will likely set him off.

However, if someone catches him on his feet again, weaving and making animal-like growls, it's a little late. Any person, any blood will do at this point. Preferably a lot of it. He might not have control, but instincts and training still remain. However, if anyone knows Saitou, they know he's left-handed. Today, he's gripping his sword in his other hand while his left hangs limply at his side. Maybe that's enough to keep a person from dying as they defend themselves. Maybe it's not. At this point he might even skip the use of his sword and go directly with his hand and teeth. ]

OTA [ Option 4 ]

[ anything goes! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( Anyone that knows Mutsu knows that he likes to avoid "those guys" and keep them at least a full arm's (or sword's) length from him at all times. The effectiveness of it all is definitely spotty at times and maybe he's just old now and can't keep up with keeping away from them like the old days but he does his best. Today is definitely one of those spotty days and today is definitely not the best day. It might even be the worst day, actually, but he doesn't know that yet. Is this better or worse than the time he couldn't lie to murder-kun? He'll figure that out after everything plays out.

Mutsu recognizes Saitou right away-- its a survial thing, being able to recognize one's natural predators-- but he's different enough that it trips him up. Who is that? It looks like something is wrong? There's definitely a half second there where he considers turning around on his heel and backing out now but while he doesn't like Saitou, he certainly doesn't hate him which means they might not be friends but he isn't going to turn his back on him when he's crouched on the ground being a total weirdo.

But why is his he curled over like that? Why is his hair white? It's clear that something is wrong and he should be concerned but he isn't sure in what way. Should he be concerned for himself more than Saitou right now? Mutsu starts quietly and uncertainly, )

Hey...

( He comes closer but still keeps himself at his usual, comfortable distance. Ah, why is he holding his sword? He notices now, and there's definitely a dangerous feeling in the air that makes him tense, sennding him reaching for both his own sword and gun at his side. Something is definitely wrong and he can't afford to be hesitant or uncertain right now so he tries again, this time, louder, and sharper, )

Hey!

( Get it together. Tell him what's happening. Hello???? )

[ Oh, was there someone talking to him? Or was it yelling? Was it even a person, or merely a sound ringing in his ears? Maybe a figment of his imagination. Yet it persists, and sounds familiar, too.

Saitou turns, eyes narrowing. ] Who-- [ He drags out the word; speaking was like gravel and sand right now. All he sees is a figure, and whoever they are, they've got blood and he can picture it flowing out, all over the place-- ]

Gngh. [ Get it together, Saitou. That's an innocent person. That's not someone to kill. That's...

...that's Mutsu, isn't it. That sword and the gun; they pierce his vision, jolting him. He shuts his eyes momentarily. Of all the people, of all the times... But it's not like the Shinsengumi ever had the best luck. ]

Stay away. [ He forces this out, trying to stand up. This has gone from bad to worse. He still has his thoughts, but they're slipping through his grasp. ]

Yeah? ( He can't help but sound annoyed, like Saitou has done some thing to horribly inconvenience him and well... He has, hasn't he? But this isn't just running into him in uniform on the street or anything small. This is serious! And that's frustrating. Why is he sticking around? Why is he bothering? Why does he even care

Because at the end of the day, Mutsu isn't a complete jerk and whether he likes it or not, he's more fond of Saitou than he'd like to admit. Now would be an awful time to realize the latter but it's a good thing he hasn't even considered something like that yet. ) Doesn't sound like ya one bit.

( Annoyance gives way to something brighter-- a brattish arrogance, challenging Saitou, challenging him to get it together or give him a reason to stop floundering and do something.

He moves one leg back, crouching just slightly at the knees, and draws his sword in a defensive stance. He can feel the bloodlust in the air and if he runs away now, who is Saitou going to go after next? )

Whatever's happening isn't you. This place is doing something to ya so get it together. You're better than this.

( Not a bloodthirsty murderer like he'd believed for centuries. People. The Shinsengumi are people. His friends have helped him see this and he's been able to see it for themselves. So he wants to believe right now. He wants to give Saitou a benefit of a doubt. Mutsu has learned so much in this second life. Isn't it ironic that the one time he tries to put his lessons to the test, it's when Saitou is turning into something that proves Mutsu was right in the first place? )

Now's your chance to show me what ya're really like.

( A violent murderer or a person worthy of Mutsu's respect. )

What I'm really like? [ If Saitou had the mind and coherence for it, he'd try to explain. The request from the shogunate; about Koudou, Serizawa, Sannan; the Rasetsu Corps...and also about Kazama and just how this mess came to be. Except that would be making excuses.

Ultimately, the choice had been his, and this was a part of him. No excuses or pardons can be said for that. It was for Yukimura Chizuru, for the Shinsengumi, and for his own honour. ]

Are you sure that's what you want. [ He bites down on his words, finally standing upright even as he fights an urge to claw at his own throat. Mutsu's sword is out, not pointed at him, but it could be at any time. And to think only weeks ago they had sparred. Was that all for nothing, just a short truce? There's no hesitancy that he can see in the other, but the fact that Mutsu waiting for Saitou make the first move was very telling.

He grits his teeth at another wave of confusion, pain, and bloodlust swirling into his mind, and grips his sword the best he can. Clumsily, he sheathes it, and switching everything over to his other side because his normal hand is completely out of commission. ] It isn't that I want to kill you-- [ The pauses inbetween his words annoys him, but he pushes on. ] But I may be left with no choice...if someone doesn't stop me.

[ Take his blood. Take it.

He rears his head back in a final attempt to clear his mind, and the world spins as he lurches and takes his own stance. ] If we both make it out of this, I...

[ Take it. ]

I will explain everything.

[ It's only fair.

And that's the last complete thought he has before he yanks his blade out. ]

( Is it what he wants? You know, it's literally taken centuries to think of anyone in the Shinsengumi as any other person. A person with a life, with friends, with goals, with a cause to fight for and a dream to chase, who laugh, care, and get hurt. Sure, he's made sure to keep them a full sword's length away from him and maybe he tense and can't help but become aggressive when he's in the same room as them it's progress! One then two steps forward than he thought he'd ever go.

But what if he was wrong? What if he's wrong? What if there's still devils and killers and people he can never really trust? Does he want to see that? Does he want to think like that again?

Yeah. Yeah, if he has to, he thinks, and he holds his ground, watching Saitou, waiting. Either Saitou returns to normal and explains (or doesn't, these Shinsengumi guys aren't the best at talking their problems out) or they fight it out and Mutsu does his best to stop him from doing something awful.

"It isn't that I want to kill you--"

Mutsu snorts. )

Ya mean try.

( These guys sure are confident, aren't they? But what's this? If there's no other choice? If someone doesn't stop him? He doesn't get it but... he thinks he understands a little better. Something's definitely wrong and if something isn't done, something bad will happen. )

Yeah, yeah, we can talk it out. ( He'd rather talk it out now because despite being a sword, he really doesn't like to fight if he can avoid it... but it looks like he doesn't have a choice either.

He's fought Saitou before so he understands his technique a little. Sure, it isn't enough to have it down but he can figure out what to expect (or so he thinks). ) If it's really necessary, I guess it can't be helped...

Let's go, Saitou-san!

[ Saitou can probably fight half-awake, though he would never do that because it would involve a lot of falling. But he might as well be doing it right now, on account of awkward he feels and how he's mentally counting all the mistakes he's making. He's grateful, actually. It might keep him from killing someone. Mutsu is answering his challenge in a straightforward, unflinching way (It's sort of like Souji. although if he said that, Mutsu would probably be horrified at such a comparison).

Using iai with his right hand feels as bad as trying to write, stiff and uncoordinated. He hasn't practiced like this in years, not since the time his teachers were attempting to force him. ]

Come.

[ It starts out normal enough; Mutsu blocks him, and he shoves back. Another parry, another block. All the while as he tries to keep his thoughts from wandering and losing more control than it already has.

It's a strange thing, him not wanting to kill, but everything else about him screaming for blood. If he were to slip, just slightly, it would all be over for him. ]

( Mutsu would scream if anyone told him he was anything like Souji. Anything like any of these Shinsengumi guys, really.

As it is right now, it's almost like they're sparring again though, the air isn't nearly as relaxed as it had been then. He can tell that Saitou is holding back and he thinks: What a scary guy this is, then. In his own way, though, Mutsu is also holding back. Using only his sword, he's yet to draw his gun but it makes sense. A gun is a weapon like a sword but unlike the sword, it's not something that can be controlled like a sword. The moment he pulls the trigger, the damage is set and done. NOt that bullets would be able to do much right now but still!

Block, parry, dodge-- he's holding himself well enough against Saitou and when he thinks he sees an opening, he pulls back his draw to go in to strike at Saitou's sword arm. Mutsu's style is Hokushin Ittou Ryu, a popular style even within the Shinsengumi, but he normally mixes it with a few unconventional moves of his own. Kanesada had compared it to Hijikata's style of dirty fighting before and as much as it had offended Mutsu, it was true. That said, Saitou can probably recognize the exact move he's going to make right now and it would be easy enough to counter-- easy enough to hurt Mutsu, really. )

3 death

death, pain...

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2!

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3 whispers brO

b r o

this tag hurt me

this is mutual hurting in progress /lies down

im back after 9999 years

/welcomes with open arms (and pain)

1!

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