(closed)

[creepface]

Who: Rasu (creepface ) & Hokuto Midou (smokingspirit )
When: ic: 11/10
Where: there apartment.
What: talking about what happened at the end of the event.
Rating/Warnings: mentions of bondage, otherwise none.

Being brave isn't something that comes easy for Rasu. And after the embarrassing happenings a few days ago, it's been even harder. He's kept to himself, avoiding Hokuto and tried to spend as much time at the hospital as possible. It's worked pretty well, especially since Hokuto has avoided him just the same, but it can't continue like this. Rasu knows that Hokuto is beating himself up about what happened, and it makes me feel bad.

So he's in the middle of drying his hair after bathing when he comes to the decision to talk to him about it. Still with messy loose hair curling every which way he turns the hair dryer off and unplugs it. Biting his lip he hurries to put it away and get out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him quickly, both to keep the little snowman robot inside the room and to do his best not to change his mind. Then he steps over to find Hokuto, and stands right in front of him, trying not to fiddle with the hem of his pajamas.

For a moment he just stands there, staring at the vice principal.

"..........Um."

Comments

[smokingspirit]

Hokuto had had his face stuffed into a book, trying to ignore that he wasn't alone. He had tried being at work most hours of the day but even ghosts needed sleep. He wasn't actually reading, though, as he had been unable to focus on the words on the pages. One hand was keeping the book in place, while the other was fingering the hem of his pajama shirt and he's got an unlit cigarett bent and broken between his teeth.

When Rasu stops in front of him, he glances up. He's pretty sure he knows what Rasu wants, but he doesn't know if he's ready for that yet.

[creepface]

It takes him another few moments for Rasu to muster the courage needed to actually say what he wanted to say. It's so embarrassing, just admitting to it out loud, to someone he's not in a relationship with, and someone he's been working under for many years now. "I... What you did the other night... I... I liked it." He swallows, face going completely red. There, he's said it. Loud and clear, louder than intended. It's the only way he could have gotten it out, otherwise he would just have stood there blubbering like a fool forever.

[smokingspirit]

He hadn't been sure. He had felt that Rasu had been aroused but he hadn't been sure if it was a reflex to the touches or if he really had enjoyed it. Hokuto knows that bodies could react involuntarily - his own body can do that at some really inappropriate times - but knowing it might not have been... He's not sure if it changes anything. "Is...that so."

[creepface]

"So..." He fiddles with his sleeves for a moment, before sitting down next to Hokuto. He leaves a bit of space between them, just in case. "So th-that's. Why it's okay."

[smokingspirit]

While Hokuto doesn't move away, he's not sure if he should or not. At the moment, they are both unsettled, so he's not certain how Rasu would react if he did move away. He's silent for a long time, because even if he has thought about this (while he also tried not to) he couldn't reach a conclusion. "...No."

[creepface]

He looks down at his hands, sitting in silence while he tries to figure out what to say. It's getting past embarrassing and into stubborn annoyance on Hokuto's part now, and even Rasu can lose his patience. So that's why he decides on action rather than words, because he really isn't sure what to say anymore. He's tried, okay. He grips Hokuto by the sides of his face and plants a nervous kiss to his lips. Then he lets go again, face burning. "...It's. It's okay. A-and that you. insiste that it's n-not is getting. A-an-annoying." There, he said it. If Hokuto wanted honesty from Rasu, this is it. This is the most gutsy thing he's said that wasn't telling Mitamura to back off.

[smokingspirit]

Sure just saying 'no' might not be the best - he should explain, he really should but he doesn't know and--- Hokuto stares with wide eyes at Rasu. He definitely did not expect that, definitely not. Hokuto's face turns the reddest Rasu has probably seen it. It's not that he's never been kissed before, he has (but that wasn't shown on the pictures) but he usually tries to avoid it. Because kisses are supposed to be emotion and love and Hokuto.. Well, he had never been in love, so he was honestly not an experienced kisser, due to his refraining from kisses. Kisses were much more embarrassing than sex ever could be, to him. Then the words sinks in, and he doesn't know why he both feel proud and like he's been sucker-punched. "I--it's--I--because---" He chokes, and then forces out the words under his breath, quickly and in distress and perhaps not properly audible; "because it feels like I'm using you because I'm your superior and it feels like I've done something really wrong like I've abused my position."

[creepface]

Was he rambling? Rasu nearly misses it, but the man is most certainly rambling. He didn't know that Hokuto could do that. But now he's finally said it, and Rasu finally knows what was going on in Hokuto's head. At least some of it. "Y-you're. Not. I mean, it wasn't. I mean, I didn't agree because m-my superior. Was th-the one. Asking." He's not lying, and he's trying really hard not to clam down on what he wants to say. This is the most brave he's going to get, and he has to do it now or he will never be able to. "S-so it's. Okay. I said ye-yes because. Because I l-li-like. Those so-sort of... Things."

[smokingspirit]

He's related to his dad, and his dad can ramble openly. Hokuto might be more reserved but he's still his father's son. Rasu's words might help him be put a little at ease, but not enough. He's not convinced. It's not that he thinks Rasu lies, but he just can't wrap his mind around it. He said that before, that he liked those sort of things. So does Hokuto but that wasn't the problem here. He wants to bry his face against his arms or in his hands or something, just hide all the damn red that he knows his face and ears are covered in, but he is not entirely able to move. "Then.....why?"

[creepface]

Rasu doesn't know the principal very well. He knows him about as well as he knew Hokuto before they found themselves here, which means... He knows he's a kind of strange but nice person. Generally nice, he's sure he's not someone you want to cross. He fiddles with his hair, twirling the wild curls around his fingers. He has to remind himself to breathe. He might not be able to suffocate to death anymore, but he's still able to pass out from not using his lungs for too long. Death is a strange thing, but he knows that by sometimes forgetting to breathe. "Be-because..." What is he supposed to say? He doesn't know, so he says the first thing that comes to mind. "Becau-cause I ca-care for you? Ki-kind of. Like... you?" Is that a strange thing to say? But their what-is-this-really-maybe-friendship is already so strange, it isn't going to make things all too much worse.

[smokingspirit]

He twitches, or flinches. Again, Rasu said something he didn't expect, and it surprises him. He fumbles for a pack of cigarettes in his pants pocket, despite already having one out. This is awkward, and he doesn't know what to say. A confused sound. How? He's not exactly a likable person. He can do his job and play polite and friendly but it's all just an act, he doesn't do being liked. And the only people that cared for him had been his parents. It's not exactly a confession, right? Not per se. Probably? Right? He hopes it isn't, because he'd have to turn the guy down if it was and he doesn't want to hurt him because it might bring Rasu back into his shell. Something like that didn't matter when it came to the people he slept with back when he was alive. They were either prostitutes of one-night-stands and if someone said that they had feelings for him... He can't remember, did he bolt? He didn't care about the consequences, at least. Mentally, he curses whatever the hell it was that caused him to ask something like he did the other day.

[creepface]

He sees the twitch, flinch, start, whatever it was. It seems like a bad reaction to Rasu, and he's just about to start flailing his arms but manages just barely to keep himself from it. Instead his fingers tangle even more into his long hair.

"I m-mean, not. Not like. Ro-romantic. Like, I don't, don't think. So, but. A-as a. F-fr...Friend." He's said so much, it's no wonder it might have come out wrong. He's not used to voicing his feelings and opinions this much it's surprising it hasn't become an even bigger mess than it already is.

But insecure as he is, he thinks it might have still been a mistake to call him a friend out loud. What if he's the only one of them who thinks that? Then that would mean he had humiliated himself (again) and made everything worse.

[smokingspirit]

He squeezes the cigarette package in his hands and his shoulders sags. The pack drops to the couch and his head drops down against his arms, the color on his face starting to go back to normal. The tenseness isn't entirely gone, but he's relieved. He really wouldn't know what to do if it had been romantically. "Alright." He runs a hand through his hair and rubs his scalp and takes a deep breath. "Alright." He shouldn't just repeat himself, though. "I can work with that." He had sort of considered Rasu a friend, too. He thinks. He hadn't really considered it, but it had been at the back of his head. He realizes that now, at least. If he had figured that one out earlier, would this whole ordeal have been easier?

[creepface]

Now that it's all been said and done, Rasu isn't sure of what to say. Is there anything that should be said now? He's pretty sure he doesn't have anything important left to say. He doesn't seem to freak at being called a friend, which makes Rasu relax just a little bit, but he isn't sure what he means by 'work with that'. And friends? He's never had many of them, so now that it's out there it makes him nervous. But it feels strange just to stand there, fingers tangled in his hair, in front of Rasu, so he has to come up with something. Something... anything. "S-so that's. Why it-it's. O-okay. Pl-please do-don't avoid. Me."

[smokingspirit]

He flinches at the reminder that he's avoided a person who is afraid of rejection. "Yeah. Sorry about that." He had not given Rasu's feelings any thought with his mind occupied by his own issues. He realizes now that it would have been much easier if they had just talked about it right away, or at least sooner.

He even could have pretended like nothing had happened, right? Even that could have been better? God damn it, it was much easier to go on day by day in Sheol with his job to manage.

[creepface]

No, Hokuto didn't consider his feelings. But Rasu isn't going to blame him for it, because he is running out of bravery already. It's too much to talk any more about things like these, and it wasn't like he hurt his feelings on purpose. He shyly reaches out his hands, feeling a bit humiliated that he even has to ask this. "C-can you. Help me? I'm. Stuck." Yes, his fingers are stuck to his hair. It isn't brushed yet, and with how long and wild it is it tangles easily.

[smokingspirit]

Maybe putting aside talk of feelings for later was a good idea. At least for now. Because he prefers not to talk feelings, period, and it's surprisingly exhausting to do it.

Hokuto blinks slowly, in surprise and confusion. At first he doesn't understand , but then he gets it. "Oh." Okay. Yeah. He has a lot of hair. "Sure." It's easier to disentangle fingers from hair than rings from hair, anyway. He has had to help his dad on occasion. And he might have gotten stuck in his own hair despite the shortness, too. So he moves close enough so that he can comfortable untangle the mess.

[creepface]

It's no doubt humiliating having to ask for such a thing. Usually his hair is braided so this doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's always a great struggle trying to get it out on his own. And afterward the tangles are horrible to brush out. So he doesn't say anything for now, just sits and waits for help.

[smokingspirit]

To be fair it's less humiliating than what the topic from before had been. The untangling is easy, and it's not something he's entirely unfamiliar with, so he can do it calmly, almost mechanically so.

"There," he says when he's done. He gets up and picks up the fallen cigarette package, to get a new one.

[creepface]

That is one thing that is true. But to Rasu, who is the one who has to ask for help with such a thing, and has confidence issues, it's not an easy thing. "Thank you." He fidgets, not sure what to do now. Brush and braid his hair?

[smokingspirit]

"No problem." The smallest problem in the room, really. He snatches up his lighter, and goes over to his smoking window, which he opens and before he lights it, and thankfully, the wind isn't going to blow all the smoke into the apartment, so he pulls himself up in the window, one leg on the windowsill.

He really doesn't care that Rasu doesn't like his smoking habits even if he respects them, but he really needs nicotine right now.

[creepface]

He wants to tell him to at least go outside if he's going to smoke, but he feels so drained right now that he barely has the energy to go and look for his hair brush. It takes a lot out of him to speak his mind, nerve, energy. Now he just wants to sleep. Which he falls asleep right where he sits, toppling over on his side. Thankfully he doesn't fall off the couch. But his hair is everywhere and is going to be a mess the next morning.

[smokingspirit]

This whole episode has obviously taken a lot out of them both.

Hokuto glances over when he hears a thump, and sees Rasu sleeping. He lets him be, until he's smoked so much of his cigarette that he's burning his fingers, and after that he fetches a blanket to cover him.

He's going to sleep to after he's gotten a shower. Hopefully, things will be back to normal after they both have managed to catch some rest.