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Entry tags:
[closed]
Who: Kratos Aurion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamberge), Lloyd Irving (idealistic)
When: 11/7
Where: The shopping district
What: After an awkward encounter, father and son run into the other. For more awkward.
Warnings: none probably.
[Some people say looks can kill. Kratos' look, however, goes way beyond that. His glare could unwind the very fabric of time and space. Maybe if that actually happened, he could undo what transpired the prior few days. The behavior he'd displayed... Deplorable. Unsightly. Just plan wrong, really. Being happy is one thing. Being happy to the point of hugging strangers is another.
He'd KISSED several people, for pete's sake!
The scowl deepens at the very thought. Some poor passerbyer notices the terrifying expression and promptly runs the other way. Good. Please run away from him and stay away from. The last few days involved enough physical contact to last a lifetime. Enough smiling to last it, as well. His face might not be able to handle anymore. A hand gets brought up to his jaw in a quick attempt to massage those sore muscles. Smiling so much and so intensely hurts. Literally.
While in the midst of trying to crack his poor jaw, something red catches the corner of his eye. It's a familiar redness, one that brings out both joy and panic. Kratos stops in his tracks. Lloyd. Some of the sourness on his face fades, getting replaced by a frown. So. What now? Does he face the boy or run away like a coward and deal with this another day? A braver soul would pick the former. Kratos, however, never claimed to be brave. Facing Lloyd now means facing everything that happened. Not now. Not today. With a hope that his presence had gone unnoticed, the man attempts to flee like the coward he is.]
flamberge), Lloyd Irving (idealistic)When: 11/7
Where: The shopping district
What: After an awkward encounter, father and son run into the other. For more awkward.
Warnings: none probably.
[Some people say looks can kill. Kratos' look, however, goes way beyond that. His glare could unwind the very fabric of time and space. Maybe if that actually happened, he could undo what transpired the prior few days. The behavior he'd displayed... Deplorable. Unsightly. Just plan wrong, really. Being happy is one thing. Being happy to the point of hugging strangers is another.
He'd KISSED several people, for pete's sake!
The scowl deepens at the very thought. Some poor passerbyer notices the terrifying expression and promptly runs the other way. Good. Please run away from him and stay away from. The last few days involved enough physical contact to last a lifetime. Enough smiling to last it, as well. His face might not be able to handle anymore. A hand gets brought up to his jaw in a quick attempt to massage those sore muscles. Smiling so much and so intensely hurts. Literally.
While in the midst of trying to crack his poor jaw, something red catches the corner of his eye. It's a familiar redness, one that brings out both joy and panic. Kratos stops in his tracks. Lloyd. Some of the sourness on his face fades, getting replaced by a frown. So. What now? Does he face the boy or run away like a coward and deal with this another day? A braver soul would pick the former. Kratos, however, never claimed to be brave. Facing Lloyd now means facing everything that happened. Not now. Not today. With a hope that his presence had gone unnoticed, the man attempts to flee like the coward he is.]
no subject
wait... kratos' eyes narrow. one of those words is NOT like the other. addressing how long it's been or why lloyd's shaking can wait until the more troubling, if annoying part of that sentence gets cleared up.]
Thanks to Yuan?
[the keyword in this is YUAN. yuan is why lloyd knows? yuan is the reason why lloyd has to deal with knowing his parentage? so help him if lloyd confirms it. this was kratos' secret and his alone to decide whether to share or not. yuan had no right to tell lloyd.
add in the fact that the reason behind revealing it could not have been noble and kratos feels his blood begin to boil. chances are it was done to manipulate lloyd into doing something. that bastard. lloyd never should have known. chances are whatever yuan wanted would have come to pass anyway. that damn impatient bastard. first with the summon spirits and the great seed and now this.
his anger remains well hidden and only shows up as a mild leer. taking it out on someone innocent, on lloyd especially, won't do any good. lloyd doesn't deserve it. lloyd didn't deserve to be used in yuan's hair-brained scheme. lloyd definitely didn't deserve to be burdened with the truth.]
no subject
not that he's letting it get to him personally; he stands firm under his leer. Kratos's reaction to that bit of news is definitely confusing, but he definitely stands firm. he knows what he believes, he's not backing down now. ]
Yeah, thanks to Yuan. [ it was only obvious. Lloyd would have been completely oblivious had Yuan not used him as a bargaining chip, or so he believed. if he hadn't known about his parentage...
no, best not to let that thought continue. the past is the past, and there's no way he can ignore what he knows. ]
And you were there when he said I was your son.
[ could he be trying to drill that factoid into his head? perhaps, Lloyd always was stubborn by what he believed to be reality. at this point, there is a small part of him that kind of believes Kratos claiming that he doesn't remember Lloyd knowing about his parentage. only a small part, though; he's still convinced that this has to be some sort of game played by either Kratos or some other outside source. still, he's forcing himself to believe, little by little. there's no way Kratos could joke about something like this and there's no way he could just forget such a detail.
unless those CERES folks had a hand in it... ]
no subject
the extra scary expression goes back to just scary. lloyd has a habit of saying incorrect information but this doesn't seem like it. that leaves lloyd telling the truth, which also can't be right. what explanation accounts for neither of them lying? kratos' mind jumps to the world itself. given the lackluster track record of those in charge, doing something to either distort memories or remove them can't be dismissed.
this theory remains unshared for now. meaningless conjecture goes nowhere and other things are more pressing to discuss.]
I wasn't.
[very bluntly said to emphasis the truthfulness of it. a split second passes before he speaks again.]
Would you mind telling me the details of what happened then?
[lacking memory of the event doesn't mean not wanting to know what happened. far from it. it involves possibly his most well guarded secret blatantly exposed to the world by a cape-wearing jackass. damn right he wants to know.
and maybe, just maybe, lloyd'll let slip the reason behind not claiming that he has no father other than dirk. the very idea of being accepted... it's something kratos can't wrap his mind around.]
no subject
and this is what he's met with: his father denying that all of that happened in the first place. that he was never at the big reveal, that he never challenged Lloyd to the duel at the seal, and that he never departed for Derris-Kharlan. logically, Lloyd should get to the bottom of this — and he wants to, dammit does he want to — but Lloyd's never been one to follow logic ("Just because the logic is sound, doesn't mean it's right"). instead, it just causes him more grief.
his chest twists painfully, and he can feel the annoying prickle at his eyes, but he does his damnedest to hold back the tears. Kratos's bluntness hurts, but Lloyd tries his best to not let it show… which is unfortunately difficult for someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. ]
But you… [ he can't take it anymore. he shakes his head as though denying Kratos's own denials, looking straight at him. ] …Dammit, why do you keep saying that?!
[ it's unfair. even though he understood what their respective missions were and respected them, he still missed Kratos, and thought of him nearly everyday. a small part of him that never died secretly hoped that he would see his father again, that Derris-Kharlan would orbit close enough to Aselia while Lloyd was still alive so that he could see him once more. he allowed himself to be a selfish child, yearning for more than a teaser-- he wanted his father back.
is this what he deserved for being selfish? ]
Why do you keep saying you weren't there when you were?! Yuan brought you out to Altessa's, so you should-- Dammit, you even took his hit for me!
[ he doesn't care if his yelling is finally attracting attention. let them watch; all that matters to Lloyd right now is getting his father back. ]
no subject
kratos is rendered momentarily speechless. those words and the emotion behind them would not have had this effect alone, but those eyes... unshed they may be, but tears are still tears.
lloyd is close to tears.
something about that hurts so much. lloyd is crying because of him. this only piles onto the confusion of why all this is eliciting this sort of reaction. the serious gaze on kratos' face softens into something far more gentle, far less guarded. your own child being this upset because of you has this effect, even on someone who has long since forfeited the title of father.]
...Why are you so upset?
[why? all of lloyd's questions are ignored in favor of asking this. it just... doesn't make any sense. the lack of memory makes far more sense as it can be attributed to CERES messing something up. their mess up, however, still fails to explain why lloyd is nearly crying because of this, because of the traitor not remembering when his secret was exposed.
the only explanation remaining can't be right. lloyd can't possibly...]
no subject
[ a couple of tears fall before he even notices, and it's only then that he brings a hand up to roughly wipe them away. dammit. he isn't supposed to be crying, he's supposed to be asking him "why?" why is Kratos playing dumb? why is he constantly claiming that Lloyd shouldn't know? and more importantly: why does he choose to do it now, when Lloyd had pretty much accepted that he would never see his father again for as long as he lived?
a part of Lloyd, the one that's still together, tells him that it's probably not his fault. there is a chance that Kratos is hiding something from him, or it could be that CERES did something to him to make him forget that Lloyd knew about their relationship already. if that was the case, what else did he forget? did he forget about how he survived being freed from Origin's seal, or how Mithos had fallen by his hand and the worlds were reunited? did he forget about Yggdrasill? and did he forget about Lloyd's current "condition"?
he doesn't voice those questions, though. his heart takes precedence over his mind, and he's far too angry at Kratos to think rationally. ]
I-I get it, okay? I know why you had to go back to Derris-Kharlan, I know how important it was! I was still taking care of what I had to do back home and I was fine with it!
[ he's still rubbing at his eyes, trying to catch the tears before they fall. everything he bottled up for the last year and a half: all the heartache, all the confessions and admittances to Colette when she asked if he was okay, all the hesitant pauses before adding "…hi, Dad" to his mother's grave-- it rushes out all at once and Lloyd is nigh powerless to stop it. ]
But it's been almost two years! I missed you, I thought I would never see you again! And now you're here saying I shouldn't know that you're my dad and--!
[ a sob escapes before he can finish that sentence. all he wanted was his father back. that's all he wanted. ]
no subject
not even the most cynical, self-loathing part of him can deny those words and the implication behind them, the implication that lloyd actually cares. it's so difficult to wrap his mind around the idea. no one in their right mind could care for a father as horrid as he, or so he thought. for some reason, his son misses him to point of crying due to not having seen him for two years. ...two years? no, they had seen the other minutes earlier. more of CERES' screw up, no doubt.
much as kratos wants to instantly steer the conversation to discussing the two year comment, he can't. his mouth opens and closes several times but words fail to come out. the urge to comfort lloyd conflicts with the desire to get to the bottom of things. the struggle continues for a few moments more before one finally wins out.]
I...I'm sorry, Lloyd, I really don't remember any of that.
[any of the former harshness has melted away into an overly gentle, if somber tone. it isn't super comforting, but it's the best kratos can do right now. ugh, how he wishes he did remember. whatever CERES did, they'll pay for it. the lack of memory is one thing; making lloyd cry as a result is another.]
no subject
[ maybe if Lloyd were in a proper state of mind, he would be reeling at the rare instance of Kratos apologizing. it's not that it was the first time he's heard him do so because it certainly wasn't, but even after not seeing him for so long, Lloyd remembers that getting an "i'm sorry" out of the man was like pulling teeth. even if he had reason for staying quiet 99% of the time (which he understands but never quite agreed with), it was still really damn frustrating.
at the same time, maybe he could also realize that Kratos was claiming that he never remembered it, not that he claims it never happened. Lloyd's not one to put words in people's mouths, but dammit Kratos sure was insisting on making it seem that way.
it is comforting, though. hearing this tone of voice from Kratos, even if it wasn't as comforting as it could be, was enough to quell some of Lloyd's upset-- although he did have to will himself to not cry harder. there he is. there is the Kratos that he knew, the one that he could proudly call his father. he knew he was never gone; he was just hiding behind that stupid shield that he seemed to like putting up. it's enough to help him calm down despite how much his chest hurt when his father spoke, and with a final sniffle, he wipes off the last of his tears.
jeez, how embarrassing… even if it was in front of his father-- actually, it's because it was in front of his father (and god knows how many other people) that it was so embarrassing. he can feel his cheeks burn as he musters the will to ask what's probably the smartest question he's asked thus far. ]
But… fine. What do you remember?
no subject
waiting results in being asked a good question, one far easier to answer than its predecessor. the kindness in his voice is no long present upon speaking and all his shields are back in place. for the most part. no one could be fully composed in this situation, not even a 4000 year old angel.]
The last thing I recall is Phaidra asking that I escort The Chosen to your father's [pause] to Dirk's house.
[a request he'd accepted, oddly enough. that poor girl's suffering was partially his fault so accepting a request so simple felt only right. dirk may lack the knowledge to help but he had planned to help push their search in the right direction before returning to yggdrasill's side and probably make more people suffer
like he's making lloyd suffer right now. best father in the world right here.]