estoria | ( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

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( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

Who: Elliot Nightray (

meriter) and you!
When: IC 11/25—11/27
Where: Residential District (primarily the CERES Gymnasium) + Shopping District (anywhere)
What: Elliot has a terminal allergy to common sense: a lesson in three (four) parts, comprised of psuedo-drowning, Machiavellian swindlers, and terrible book taste, respectively speaking.
Rating/Warning: None, probably.

1. INSERT SWIMMING PUN HERE (ceres gymnasium.)

[ In reconciliation of every self-deprecatory impulse in his body, Elliot actually shows up for lifeguard duty for the first time in two weeks.

He'd been staving off the financial necessity of having real credits on hand to buy very real things for a long while (like microwave dinners, for one thing, considering he'd survived thus far on a diet of refried peas and mashed potatoes with the consistency of clumping dirt). Monetary gain: the true motivator of any stalwart teenager in these trying, trying times. It wasn't as if he was going to turn to his brothers in some prostrated act of weakness. Just because he'd been hairsplitting nebulous concepts like coming to the gym during his technical shift and maybe staying the whole period instead of flat-out leaving whenever it suited him didn't mean he was a stranger to manual labor. Not at all.

So. It's just another routine day at the swimming pool, and by the third hour he's sweating bullets attempting to get a grip over his genteel, strait-laced Victorian morals. There are just so many exhibitionists about in the afternoons, all in varying levels of undress, and he's blistering red up to his ears keeping his gaze trained at all the patrons without turning away at the sight of scantily-clothed bodies. Literal lingerie, at that — it was nothing short of incredible that Vessalius hadn't succumbed to utter debauchery, exposed day in and day out to water-slick forms and all manner of loosened morals. He'd always been a weird kid, anyway.

But his tension reaches a culminating point hits when someone's apparently spritzing out at the deep end of pool, an arm stuck out and frantically waving him over. Reluctantly, Elliot strips off his jacket and cravat and strides over, peering down at the swimmer in question with scrunched eyebrows a stare tipped toward palpable disdain. ]

[ Too bad he doesn't have any sense of peripheral awareness to comprehend the rather peculiar grin he's shot with until the stranger's got their hand grappled around his, and then — ]

again

[ — he falls in. Panic briefly settling in his lungs, he spends a second or two in slantslide vertigo, water rushing around in some great, disorienting deluge before he kicks up, hard, breaks the surface with audible frustration. ]

I HATE THIS JOB!

2. CULTURE OF THE YOUNG AND VAIN (around, somewhere ...)

[ When his mood considerably sobers, he takes his paycheck for a supermarket splurge to refuel his stockpile of frozen dinners and comes away with several plastic bags full of cheap, cholesterol-inducing foods. Normally he'd head straight for his apartment, but Elliot decides to take the scenic route and ends up finding the kitschiest merchant stalls known to man. One minute he's minding his own business, and the next he's surrounding by a copious amount of creams and lotions purported to rejuvenate youth, like he'd just been plunked in the middle of a health ad and was ethically obligated to spout off some hypocritical drivel about the losers who'd buy into such scams. Seriously.

Well, beggars can't be choosers. Elliot wastes no time forcing his way to the front to blithely jab a finger at one of the offending vendors in question. ]

[ You know, because there's nothing wrong with waxing poetic on insurrection to the merchants. With this kind of bullheaded mentality, Elliot's lucky he isn't get his ass hauled away by security guards right this minute. ]

3. LMAO, SPOILERS (still around ...)

[ Wayward hellion of paltry exasperation that he is, Elliot Nightray can't get by without self-gratifying himself on one of the finer things in life. Namely, literature. So he makes a habit of scanning the shelves of the bookstore with a probing fixation at least once a week, turning up his nose at the YA section and heading for the classics to spend hours turning through the pages, scouring the contents for answers, or maybe just a quick read.

Only — today it's different, because he's currently engaged in some kind of weird, heated argument with the cashier. On closer inspection, it's composed mostly of angry, one-sided outbursts, like: ]

at all

[ Or: ]

Holy Knight

[ If nothing else, bystanders can at least pick up on the fact that there's a very frustrated fanboy hogging the front desk to blather on and on about the most emotionally bloated, self-indulgent novels to ever grace the Latowidge Academy library. ]

4. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE (wildcard!)

~~i didn't put him in school~~

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[HIS PRIORITIES NEED SOME HELP. Actually, Elliot in general probably needs some help. That's a conclusion Kaoru came to a long time ago and he still has no actual intention of helping the poor guy out though, since it's pretty dang amusing as long as the target is someone or somewhere else.

The smile presented is patient and kind, at least. Like a schoolteacher having to deal with a particularly obstinate and rambunctious child, maybe...]

Markets have always worked in this way, sir. Rather than acclimatization, it's already the status quo in quite a number of worlds. The shoppers who go through these places are aware of the fact that unrealistic claims will be made, as well... In an attempt to sell their wares, exaggerations are common, after all. [A beat, and then:] Do you not often go to marketplaces?

[callin him out on being a DUMB SHELTERED RICH KID.]

[ Is this supposed to be subliminal messaging ... can he find some after-school moral about the benefits of attending class and redeem himself, forever changed for the better?!?! ... Yeah, no.

To be honest, he didn't even fare that well under the tutelage of preppy rich-kid private tutors so it stands to reason that he's not going to bend over backwards for the weirdos posing as instructors here. There was that bugs incident, which inevitably ruined any chance he had for decent higher education here when the teachers transmogrified into bugs and began gyrating on desktops. ]

To answer your question: what do you think? Didn't anyone ever tell you to mind your own business? I'll leave as soon as I get what I came here for.

[ Elliot's kind of dead to the world (double entendre intended), so no, he doesn't have much going for him. It's only late morning, he could definitely wait another two hours until noontime when they took their break, then resume his post until someone pulled up the strength and mental fortitude to finally toss Elliot out into the headway of open traffic for the good of everyone else —

... a responsibility which inevitably falls down to you, Heung Soo. Good luck with that. ]

[ LISTEN ... he never claimed to be polite, he never claimed to even make sense. All she's doing is stoking the flames of his hideously self-righteous hypocrisy like it's no one's business. It doesn't curb Elliot's anger in the slightest. It'd be one thing if he could back up his claims, but even by Badass Normal trope standards he's abysmally low on the ranking list. It's a good thing all of this is happening in broad daylight with plenty of ~~witnesses~~ bystanders, or he'd probably be super-murdered by this point.

She did manage to snatch his attention away from the stall, though, a sneer smeared luridly over his features. ] Wow, you completely changed my mind, you complete imbecile. Go ahead and call security. You'll only be wasting your breath.

[ #LOOKS LIKE ELLIOT'S WELL ON HIS WAY TO BECOMING JUST ANOTHER CASUALTY OF MAGIC GHOUL POWERS. ]

[ WHAT THE HELL, THAT'S TOO CONVINCING; PROBABLY THE BEST ARGUMENT HE'S HEARD ALL DAY.

You see, over the course of the last three hours, Elliot's systematically destroyed all forms of resistance: students trying to switch-out their old textbooks for new copies, fellow nerds systematically ripping their hair out after he out-yelled them into submission, every adult in the room giving him the death glare before a good quarter of them left en masse. There hadn't been any children, though — to be blunt, he hadn't even noticed that little kid huddled behind her disconsolately livid mother until Totsuka brought that woebegone little girl into his line of sight.

Game over.

Elliot's doing his best to hold his ground, but like anyone under the influence of cute children, he's utterly defenseless. Is Ellen her even her real name? Is she a genuine child or just an incredibly youthful-looking midget? In the end, all outside variables are inconsequential because he's been completely annihilated by a loli in pigtails plaintively staring up at him like a deer in headlights. Goodbye, perseverance. His gaze stutters between them for a few blinking seconds before it skitters along the adjacent wall in utter mortification. ]

I — ... well, she didn't say anything.

[ PITIFUL. WHAT A LOW BLOW. Nevertheless, Elliot has enough ingrained decorum to move to the side and allow the girl to pass. ... He hasn't stepped out of the line yet, though?! Incredible. This is truly desperation at its finest. ]

[ THIS CHICK. If his head could spin around a full 360 angles from sheer frustration like that girl in The Exorcist, it undoubtedly would be swiveling in convolutions right now. ]

Are you trying to talk me down? Why the hell are you so bothered? This doesn't concern you in the slightest. I'm here as a customer, so I believe I'm completely entitled to my own say in the matter. If you can't comprehend that much, there's no use further contesting my point.

Why don't you leave? Like you said, there are more than plenty of "different establishments" around. I'm sure you'll find one that would move heaven and hell itself to cater to your every whim.

[ HEY, THAT'S DISCRIMINATION AGAINST EVERY RICH, OVERLY-ENTITLED KID IN THE WORLD. He acts only on his own prerogative — his mother (prior to insanity) spoiled him rotten, his father indulged him with swords and ungodly sense of prides, and his siblings did a frankly shitty job of assisting him in becoming a well-rounded, altruistic individual.

It's not Elliot's fault if people don't see eye-to-eye with him. Frankly, that's none of his concern. ]

What — [ splutter, splutter, that idea's so preposterous and not at all realistic, where would she get such an inane theory like that ] — are you talking about? I've been to plenty of marketplaces! I could describe several of them to you in detail, if necessary.

[ Or rather, he'd been to auctions for people in well-to-do opulence who have never had to worry about their next meal or actually having to scrape up a means of living. They're nothing more than charades, conventions for demonstrating wealth and prestige. And while the Nightrays have never been sincerely appreciated for their reputation, it hadn't impeded the annual revenue they garnered as one of the Four Great Dukedoms. ]

And you? Are these type of greedy practices commonplace where you come from?

That's a load of crap! You just arrived here! [ What the hell is this logic ... he saw you just walk in, don't lie to him, he checked the schedule (while simultaneously ignoring all the reminders and rebuffs he got for skipping out on work for weeks on end). He knows your shift doesn't start for another full hour, Oz, you're just being strange like you always are. ]

They're indecent. You're only worsening matters by encouraging this kind of blatant tomfoolery. [ Oh, right. That next comment's exactly the reason why he pretends Vessalius doesn't exist until it's convenient for him to call upon the conniving, untrustworthy dweeb.

Well, two can play at that game.

Elliot's deft about it, if nothing else — he slides one arm in a quick arc over Oz's bent form, yanking his companion's already teetering ankles out of balance, and — oops, now rabbit boy's the second victim to the same trick, flailing over in a display of buckling limbs prior to plummeting into the pool with a discordant splash. ]

[DON'T LOOK AT HIS SCHEDULE LIKE THAT, god!! So what if he wants to come early to play in the pool... Sane kids would! Anyone but Elliot would!!

Except before he can get out a counter-protest regarding his arrival and how very little tomfoolery there actually is going on right now, he suddenly finds himself not very level with the poolside at all. Oh, yep - there goes the wall, the now-sideways list of pool rules declaring in big bold letters to nOT HORSE AROUND UNLESS YOU WANT TO DROWN, and then he's smackdown in the water. Smart enough to close his eyes and mouth, at least, so there's no gross rush of chlorine.

He sure wasn't kidding about being able to move around easier with less clothing, fortunately, so he resurfaces pretty quickly after regaining his bearings. It's a hard thing to do underwater, but he perseveres...

And, spluttering, after breaking the surface:]

AUGH!! What— Why?! You've really turned into a ruffian, Elliot—!! You're going to join a street gang before you know it! Go sign up and get your street gang beanie!

[what is he even talking about

More importantly, obviously this sort of horsing around is okay when the stranger does it BUT NOT WHEN ELLIOT DOES IT, oh no. Double standards as far as the eye can see... His shirt has also ballooned up stupidly from the water and he probably looks like he's stuffed a water wingie under there, but he's far too indignant about being pulled in to care.]

[Well if there wasn't anything else Nice was good at doing, he's pretty good with getting underneath other people's skin. In contrast to the way Elliot was looking at him, Nice keeps regarding him with some form of amusement.

He really does like getting under people's skin.]

I never said anything was wrong with it. I'm just saying you're being kind of hypocritical. Yelling at people trying to sell a product about how they can't get anything done...

[He eyes the bags.]

What've you gotten done, besides shop for food?

[NICE YOU'RE BEING A HYPOCRITE TOO OH MY GOD]

The kid, you mean? [She raises her hand and points...

directly at him.

And then laughs a little.] See kid, right here. The one who pushed you in? No. Ran off. Humans tend to look the same to me, cannot tell you where he is now.

[Oona tilts her head, expression still amused.] Should you not be getting out soon? Who goes in water dressed like that?

[Kaoru isn't one to talk either, honestly, as someone who lives off the income of a clan without having to split a single ounce of it with anyone else... But as someone who interacts with the general public much more than a hoity-toity son of a duke, Kaoru also (blessedly) has more street smarts than a noble might.]

Ah? You have? [The smile presented has a gentle sort of amusement just below the surface, but it comes and goes quickly. Kaoru's head inclines forward, toward the shopkeeper who is now succinctly distracted with helping other customers with Elliot The Loud And Unbearable distracted.]

We could discuss it sometime - now, perhaps? Unless your business here is of greater importance, in which case I would hate to intrude more than I already have. Still, I wouldn't mind learning more about the world that you come from.

[The second question, of course, goes left unanswered.]

That is to say, he won't be interested. Thank you.

[ Vincent smoothly intervenes, wrapping an arm around Elliot's shoulders while offering an amiable smile in some mild attempt to assuage the vendor's pride. Just like that, he will attempt to steer the boy away from the scene before any true damage is done. ]

We may have to find you escort, little brother. [ He teases with a playful tick of the tongue. ]

[ He always gets the most difficult duties.

But for now he just gives the other guy a "really?" kind of look, raised eyebrow and all. Okay, maybe the eyebrow goes hidden under his bangs, but it's there, let me assure you. Because really, does Elliot think he doesn't have any business here? That package he has in his arms is not going to deliver itself magically, you know.

God, these kind of people are always the worst to deal with.. why is that you feel like you run into every single irritating person on this planet whenever you just try to do your job. ]

Then let me go first. I just have to get this signed. [ Don't be an ass, Elliot!! ]

[Sharply and without hesitation:] Because you are being a nuisance.

Customer or not, that does not allow you the right to cause a scene in an establishment, harass the worker, and hold up a line. You may have your say but you're having it rather loudly and rudely.

[As for why she won't leave, it's pretty much because she hates leaving things like this alone. It's quite akin to bullying and she's bad at holding her tongue. She doesn't even see it worth addressing.]

[incredible… Totsuka slides to the side as well, watching as the little girl (TRULY, no one will ever know if she’s a little girl or a midget) gives a wobbly ‘thank you’ to Elliot… while her mother looks Relieved that her life will finally move on.]

I’m sure she wanted to, but she was probably too frightened. [NO OFFENSE ELLIOTO] You’re rather intimidating, you know? It's perfect against people who've done the wrong thing, but it's intense for everyone else!

[laughs... elliot is sure still in the line but if he can move for tiny girls then he'll surely move for similar damsels in distress...]

No, I'm not done here, these are completely valid complaints —

[ But it's such a halfhearted rebuttal that he visibly slackens and allows himself to be led away in the general direction of his apartment. However, Elliot only takes a few steps before pulling up short, expression marred into a tightening grimace, eyes flashing exasperatedly. ]

I don't need one! I can handle things perfectly fine by myself.

[ If he sounds particularly irascible, petulancy hung thick on his breath, it's not out of spite toward Vincent. His exhales catch somewhere in his throat, guttering low and even. ]

... Have you seen Leo?

[ It's all worth it, Elliot decides, standing front and center to Oz's ubiquitous fall from grace (or the pool's edge, whatever). It would've been better to watch him struggle a little bit longer, but he's poised at the ready to turn him flipside if Oz turns a shade of asphyxiating blue or something. He isn't completely heartless, but you know, schadenfreude. Them's the breaks. Eventually, Elliot ditches his concern to go completely off the deep end and burst into chortling laughter, knocking backward into the linoleum edge in rattling amusement. Shit, he doesn't do it often, but it sure is hilarious seeing the supposed prodigal son out of his element. ]

What's that? Sounds like someone doesn't know how to take their own advice seriously! Aren't you here to waste time uselessly floundering about in the water?

[ lmao lmao lmao

He's sneering wide, mouth wholly caught in a shit-eating grin as he pulls himself with some exertion from the stepladder affixed to the side. A few seconds pass, then Elliot lobs over a towel, which lands squarely on Oz's disheveled head.

WHAT A SICKASS BURN (in the pool) ... ]

So. How much longer do you plan to whine in there like a fussy child? This is a public venue, Vessalius. If you want me to babysit you before your shift begins, you'll need to pay me by the hour.

Edited (changes one word ...) 2015-03-15 02:44 (UTC)

[ SHIT, THEY'RE BOTH HYPOCRITES ... at least Nice is infinitely more subtle about it, which is ultimately better than Elliot smearing slanderous insults left and right onto poor vendors in some stupid effort to prove his ... idiocy, maybe. It's not like any of the shopkeepers insulted his mother or anything. ]

Who are you to talk? You don't know who I am or what I've done.

[ Oh, looks like he doesn't care about the grocery bags anymore, either, because he drops them to stride over, visibly straightening like gaining a few more inches will magically inject credibility into his pretentious (nonsensical) rant. ]

You're just some imbecile buying into all of the lies CERES is feeding you. You think any of this is going to matter in the long run? Unlike you, I don't buy into this bullshit. And I'm not afraid to say it, either.

I'm — I'm not a kid ... ! [ THANKS ... he might actually run the risk of a stroke from how rapidly his blood pressure's rising straight to his head. Elliot doesn't even bother reaching for the ladder, instead opting to climb out of the pool before the rest of the gym patrons gather around to point and laugh at him. ] Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'll catch them on video later.

... I didn't plan on getting pulled into the pool. I have no idea why people do that.

[ Probably because he's an easily-trumped moron, but it's not like he's conspicuous about that aspect of himself. Or so he thinks. ]

Are you genuinely that surprised?

[ As for Elliot, his reluctance to admit that he knows absolutely zilch about anything that isn't hypocrisy or his bone-deep existential need to spew out profanities and never shut up again rears its ugly head. Promptly giving his pride the bum rap, he scoots off a few paces away from the stall in slight discomfort, much to everyone's audible relief as they surge around the vendor and his big-ticket foot creams.

Scrubbing briefly at the nape of his neck, he vaguely accedes. Just one bobbing nod, protracted and thin, and then Elliot's negotiating his terms for Talking about Unpleasant Things on the down low, steering away from the panoply of effusive customers to grip his grocery bags even tighter. ]

If you want to know, I suppose I wouldn't be against telling you. It's nothing I thought you would ever be concerned with, however.

[ He could just be a not-asshole and get the hell out of the way. Heck, Elliot's already half-given up on the prospect of ever finding the series again, much less argue nuances with the librarian-slash-cashier in a bout of hedonistic frustration. Unfortunately, that would insinuate that he actually cared about the thoughts and feelings of other people ... which he does! Subconsciously. And never more than it extends to affect him, unfortunately. ]

... What's that for?

[ Bypassing a completely reasonable request with yet another trivial inquiry: Elliot Nightray, an intellectual in the making. ]

To who? You? I haven't seen anyone else put up any complaints.

[ Because he's been too busy yelling his lungs out to actually listen to anyone protesting in return ... he really is this obnoxious, it's not just a one-time fling ... ]

You've had your say. I'll continue waiting here in peace, if you don't mind. If my outspokenness bothers you in any shape or form, you're more than welcome to exit in the same manner.

[ And life continues on, although Elliot continues to look completely blindsided, like he's staring straight into the sun even though it's just Totsuka being a good Samaritan. Clearly, he wasn't ready for this treacherous battle if he's upended so easily by one measly child.

Then again — ]

... Intense? I was just speaking normally. It's nothing to be intimidated over.

[ YELLING IS NORMAL FOR HIM, bless his emotionally-stunted head. If Leo caught word of him causing trouble for retail workers everywhere, he might've knocked some sense into his cerebrum hours before his temper hit its expiration date, but alas, his valet isn't here to curbstomp him into reluctant politeness this time around. ]

You didn't seem afraid, either.

[For the sake of Elliot's sad, sad pride, Kaoru will be kind enough to leave his first question unanswered. "Yes" would probably be rude and might shut down the conversation, after all!

So neatly setting that aside - and stepping outside of the throng of customers, as well - Kaoru will redirect focus to the second topic. It's always good to learn more about other people, especially if the exchange can be kept uneven. Information alone is certainly not enough to give someone enough of an edge to survive, but it doesn't hurt to have it.]

Well, I've known you for several months, but I hardly know a thing about you. Where you're from, what things are like there... If I'm to call you a friend of mine as I'd like to, I can't rudely remain uneducated.

[A smile follows, faint but friendly, before Kaoru turns to start heading out of the maze of shops. TRY TO KEEP UP, STUFFY MCNOBLES.]

[ANOTHER MUFFLED NOISE OF DISTRESS when the towel covers his face and obscures his vision briefly. Elliot just doesn't know how to do anything gently, gosh!!

But he'll take it and use it to wipe the water from his face, and then folds the fabric over his head like a dumb hat to keep the ends from dipping into the water and getting soaked. He shoots a look Elliot's way, next.]

I'm not going to pay you for doing a job you already get paid for! [He... he means babysitting the pool-goers in general, not babysitting him in specific, even though that's sure what it sounded like.

He also doesn't appear to be very keen on getting out just yet, either?! Good work, team. Instead, he just sort of wades his way over toward the pool's edge, folding his arms over the deck and sighing. This is his new home, he lives here now.]

What a way to start the shift. And you didn't even stay in the water! It's like you don't want to go swimming together at all!

[That's something friends do, right???]

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( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

thats my line punk

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