( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

[meriter]

Who: Elliot Nightray (meriter) and you!
When: IC 11/25—11/27
Where: Residential District (primarily the CERES Gymnasium) + Shopping District (anywhere)
What: Elliot has a terminal allergy to common sense: a lesson in three (four) parts, comprised of psuedo-drowning, Machiavellian swindlers, and terrible book taste, respectively speaking.
Rating/Warning: None, probably.

---

1. INSERT SWIMMING PUN HERE (ceres gymnasium.)

[ In reconciliation of every self-deprecatory impulse in his body, Elliot actually shows up for lifeguard duty for the first time in two weeks.

He'd been staving off the financial necessity of having real credits on hand to buy very real things for a long while (like microwave dinners, for one thing, considering he'd survived thus far on a diet of refried peas and mashed potatoes with the consistency of clumping dirt). Monetary gain: the true motivator of any stalwart teenager in these trying, trying times. It wasn't as if he was going to turn to his brothers in some prostrated act of weakness. Just because he'd been hairsplitting nebulous concepts like coming to the gym during his technical shift and maybe staying the whole period instead of flat-out leaving whenever it suited him didn't mean he was a stranger to manual labor. Not at all.

So. It's just another routine day at the swimming pool, and by the third hour he's sweating bullets attempting to get a grip over his genteel, strait-laced Victorian morals. There are just so many exhibitionists about in the afternoons, all in varying levels of undress, and he's blistering red up to his ears keeping his gaze trained at all the patrons without turning away at the sight of scantily-clothed bodies. Literal lingerie, at that — it was nothing short of incredible that Vessalius hadn't succumbed to utter debauchery, exposed day in and day out to water-slick forms and all manner of loosened morals. He'd always been a weird kid, anyway.

But his tension reaches a culminating point hits when someone's apparently spritzing out at the deep end of pool, an arm stuck out and frantically waving him over. Reluctantly, Elliot strips off his jacket and cravat and strides over, peering down at the swimmer in question with scrunched eyebrows a stare tipped toward palpable disdain. ]

Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and take my hand already, I don't have all day.

[ Too bad he doesn't have any sense of peripheral awareness to comprehend the rather peculiar grin he's shot with until the stranger's got their hand grappled around his, and then — ]

Gh — no, no, n-o-t again ... !

[ — he falls in. Panic briefly settling in his lungs, he spends a second or two in slantslide vertigo, water rushing around in some great, disorienting deluge before he kicks up, hard, breaks the surface with audible frustration. ]

I HATE THIS JOB!

2. CULTURE OF THE YOUNG AND VAIN (around, somewhere ...)

[ When his mood considerably sobers, he takes his paycheck for a supermarket splurge to refuel his stockpile of frozen dinners and comes away with several plastic bags full of cheap, cholesterol-inducing foods. Normally he'd head straight for his apartment, but Elliot decides to take the scenic route and ends up finding the kitschiest merchant stalls known to man. One minute he's minding his own business, and the next he's surrounding by a copious amount of creams and lotions purported to rejuvenate youth, like he'd just been plunked in the middle of a health ad and was ethically obligated to spout off some hypocritical drivel about the losers who'd buy into such scams. Seriously.

Well, beggars can't be choosers. Elliot wastes no time forcing his way to the front to blithely jab a finger at one of the offending vendors in question. ]

What a load of crap! It's just like CERES to promote these kinds of underhanded ruses. They're a bunch of raving idiots. I'm surprised they can get anything accomplished.

[ You know, because there's nothing wrong with waxing poetic on insurrection to the merchants. With this kind of bullheaded mentality, Elliot's lucky he isn't get his ass hauled away by security guards right this minute. ]

3. LMAO, SPOILERS (still around ...)

[ Wayward hellion of paltry exasperation that he is, Elliot Nightray can't get by without self-gratifying himself on one of the finer things in life. Namely, literature. So he makes a habit of scanning the shelves of the bookstore with a probing fixation at least once a week, turning up his nose at the YA section and heading for the classics to spend hours turning through the pages, scouring the contents for answers, or maybe just a quick read.

Only — today it's different, because he's currently engaged in some kind of weird, heated argument with the cashier. On closer inspection, it's composed mostly of angry, one-sided outbursts, like: ]

It's a clear ripoff! This isn't the series I ordered at all. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!

[ Or: ]

What do you mean, you don't have any copies of Holy Knight IN STOCK?! What kind of blasted establishment is this? I demand to speak with your higher-ups IMMEDIATELY!

[ If nothing else, bystanders can at least pick up on the fact that there's a very frustrated fanboy hogging the front desk to blather on and on about the most emotionally bloated, self-indulgent novels to ever grace the Latowidge Academy library. ]

4. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE (wildcard!)

other than that, he'll be roaming the residential and shopping districts because i didn't put him in school elliot's a wishy-washy miscreant to the bone, so feel free to encounter him there. do you see him sneaking peeks at feline cybuddies passing him in the streets whenever he thinks he won't get caught? brooding about existential angst/nothing in particular? want to punch him in the face? the sky's the limit.

Comments

2!

[souredsweet]

What a surprise... I never expected to run into you in a place like this.

[COMES A VOICE FROM THE PERILOUS BEYOND--

No it's just Kaoru, coming in to rescue this poor vendor from being railed into by an angry hedgehog. Since the stalls are a bit of a rip-off (a bit), Kaoru doesn't actually have any bags in hand. It's just a nice area to stroll through, okay!! The hustle and bustle of the larger streets seem to fade away in the smaller backalleys. It's a more intimate environment, and while there are still a lot of people, its relative quietness is appreciated.

EITHER WAY, stepping on over!! Elliot clearly has a lot to learn about being an underground revolutionary if he's just going to spout angry rhetoric right out in the open...]

Is there something you're dissatisfied with here?

y this .......

[meriter]

[ WHAT IS THAT NOISE ... nevermind, it's obviously just that kind, human lady he's come to know and respect until recently (except that whole flirting incident was compounded on all sides with weird mix-ups, so he doesn't hold her liable, anyways).

It's still weird all around, but hey. One of the many things he's come to appreciate in his strange post-mortem existence as part-time whiny nerd and part-time useless insurgent. ]

... Kaoru?

[ He abruptly freezes mid-rant, jaw hanging unhinged as the interloper rapidly approaches, slurring a bit on the last syllable as she calmly — how does she do that, there's like, at least thirty people swarming this cart alone — strides forward with soft-beaten grace and settles beside him, eyes tinged in some manner of concern.

Elliot, true to himself as any shonen protag ought to be, is having none of it. ]

Are you kidding me? Isn't it obvious? What kind of MORON — [ reverting to petty insults always helps him win the argument, gdo, if he didn't want to drop his plastic bags on sullied asphalt he'd totally be jabbing fingers at the vendor ] — thinks people are swayed this easily? It'd be one thing if they wanted to sell off overpriced crap. But lying right to my face?

[ How scandalous. ]

no escape...

[souredsweet]

[He sure is JUST AS ELLIOT AS EVER, isn't he... Kaoru's sort of grown used to Elliot's particular brand of gruffness and his perpetual clumsiness in all social matters is vaguely endearing, in a "aw look the three year old scribbled a flower on the wall today!" way...

And just as always, Elliot sure isn't a let-down this time! He's so buttruffled about the weirdest things?! Not that Kaoru is really one to talk, but still. Fixing Elliot with a mildly baffled look, he gets a gently-voiced:]

But you aren't planning on purchasing anything here, correct?

[As if to say, "why are your knickers so twisted if this has nothing to do wtih you???" That's the true question that everyone should be asking Elliot Nightray, honestly.]

its me again its me again.... 1!

[harepiece]

Ah, Elliot's slacking off and having fun already?

[COMES A VOICE FROM THE PERILOUS BEYOND YET AGAIN.

It's Oz, arriving for his shift!! Are they both working at the same time on the only day Elliot has decided to show up in weeks? They sure are. He sure seems pleased as punch to be here though, since he truly is a weird kid and he valiantly shoves his Delicate Victorian Sensibilities aside every time he steps through the door. He'd have 100 heart attacks a shift, otherwise...

He's taken pretty well to the current mode of dress anyway, even though he still wears a t-shirt with his swimming trunks. He's sure not going to be making the fatal mistake of getting near the water in everything but a jacket and cravat, at least... But he does mosey right up to the edge, leaning over like he's seriously considering diving in of his own volition.]

I want to go swimming, too!

[HOW HAS NO ONE DROWNED IN THIS POOL YET with lifeguards like these two and Russia, truly.]

[meriter]

What part of this looks fun to you?! Someone tried to drown me!

[ SPARE HIS OVERDRAMATIC ASS THE MELODRAMA.

They're sure kicking back and living the dream now, though. Under the scintillation of fluorescent lights and aggregate mortification, he's about had it with getting dunked into the pool the minute he lowered his guard as if he has to constantly hype himself up on adrenaline and human anger just to get through the shift, much less the day. He can't handle this many weirdos collecting under one clustered radius. It's unreasonable to expect anyone to retain their sanity every time patrons leave their underwear in the pool, toss trash for the sole purpose of clogging up the drains, legitimately peeing in the water — it's high time he went to CERES Headquarters and demanded to speak at length with the big cheese himself.

But on topics completely unrelated to dairy products and corporeal embarrassment, his eyes get a bit swimmy when he appraises Oz's attire, which does considerably deflate his anger (transmogrifying it into plain bewilderment around the 5-second mark). ]

Why are you in your undergarments? We're not here to relax! You're supposed to be doing your job!

[ SPOKEN LIKE HE'S ACTUALLY DOING HIS JOB, the schmuck. ]

[harepiece]

I am doing my job! [No he's goofing around and in an actually intentional way, unlike Elliot "dragged into this shit because he has a face that begs to be bullied" Nightray...]

And these are swimming trunks! Haven't you been paying attention? [At which point he gestures out across the VAST AND WILD PLAINS (of weirdos), most of whom are wearing something similar.]

You probably wouldn't be so heavy in the water if you didn't go jumping in with your whole suit on.

[Completely and purposely ignoring the part where someone pulled him in... Look, everyone knows Elliot wouldn't jump of his own volition. Maybe he's allergic to chlorine, or maybe he's just allergic to having fun like a true punkweasel.]

2

[topscores]

[To say that Nice was minding his own business would be kind of a lie, since he does people watch sometimes since there's nothing to do here. He's ignoring the vendors trying to talk to him, and his time isn't that wasted when he sees Elliot start yelling.

Incredible.]

Says the person yelling at a vendor.

[And of course he's gotta put his two cents into it.]

[meriter]

[ Well, imitation's supposedly the best form of flattery, and Elliot's done plenty of people-watching because the concept of restraining orders apparently never existed in his particular dimension. In his mind, there's nothing wrong with (needlessly, stupidly) mouthing off bottom-of-the-bucket peddlers if no one bothers contesting him for it.

Then again, he wasn't expecting much of a retort. Mouth snapping audibly shut, Elliot levels his gaze, just that side of insipid, with all the disinterest of staring at a discarded piece of gum wedged into the sidewalk instead of a real person. ]

What's wrong with that? I'm voicing an honest complaint.

[topscores]

[Well if there wasn't anything else Nice was good at doing, he's pretty good with getting underneath other people's skin. In contrast to the way Elliot was looking at him, Nice keeps regarding him with some form of amusement.

He really does like getting under people's skin.]

I never said anything was wrong with it. I'm just saying you're being kind of hypocritical. Yelling at people trying to sell a product about how they can't get anything done...

[He eyes the bags.]

What've you gotten done, besides shop for food?

[NICE YOU'RE BEING A HYPOCRITE TOO OH MY GOD]

1!

[mermaiding]

[Oona wasn't found of the pool during the day. There were too many people--too many humans--polluting the area, but it was nice to go and just be near water. Maybe she'd get up the courage to actually get in it one day. It's not like she was dressed for the pool either--just shorts and a tank top, so technically better than the various bathing suits she sees around.

Elliot's outburst actually gets her to stop as she walks by, amused enough to actually give it her attention (she totally saw the whole thing too,and is clearly silently laughing at him).]

Got caught. Is your own fault, yes? Pay attention to surroundings.

[meriter]

[ He's reached the lowest of lows in an extensive history of already shitty circumstances (like his life was some made-for-TV Lifetime film, if he's at the receiving end of furtive snickering. Even pretty girls were laughing at him. If it wasn't transparent before, it's clear now that he's been cursed to utter damnation, or maybe just an afterlife of eternal shame and disconsolate regrets. ]

I-I was! It's not even my fault, it's that — ...

[ In a last-ditch effort to scapegoat someone else into taking the fall for Elliot, he turns a full 180 degrees in the water to find the perpetrator, only — ]

... kid ...

[ — but of course there's no one because the brat likely high-tailed it into the bathroom. Ugh. He could just despondently navel-gaze at his hands, or pick up the chase, but both options would probably make him out to be some raving idiot, and if nothing else Nightray never deliberately soils his own reputation. He scrounges up the rest of his pride and swivels in place to face the stranger again. ]

Damn it! Did you see where they went?

[mermaiding]

The kid, you mean? [She raises her hand and points...

directly at him.

And then laughs a little.] See kid, right here. The one who pushed you in? No. Ran off. Humans tend to look the same to me, cannot tell you where he is now.

[Oona tilts her head, expression still amused.] Should you not be getting out soon? Who goes in water dressed like that?

3!

[amemory]

[is this real life or is this fantasy... Totsuka's been minding his own business jk he's been recording people all day today like the weird guy he is, but the loud voice distracts him from long enough for him to swivel his camera around and in the direction of a very Angry Teenager.]

Ah. [sudden Thug flashbacks, except nothing about Elliot really reminds Totsuka of his fellow thug friends. the raised voice and angry yelling is the only link -- Elliot looks like the sort of cultured, young gentleman sort of type except he's clearly ANGRY... about...]

[holy knight?? A BOOK NOT IN STOCK?? elliot pls]

[And before the other customers in line can give voice to their mutinous thoughts, Totsuka leaves his place in the line to approach the front desk, camera on pause and shoved into his bag in favor of sticking himself next to Elliot, both hands waving in the most conciliatory gesture he knows.]

Now, now -- you have to give the attendant time to contact his manager, right? In the meantime, why don't we wait over here until then? [aka GET OUT OF THE LINE ELLIOTO]

[meriter]

[ wtf, accurate ... he was born in the wrong time period ... the wrong world, even, considering the shit he got up to back in Ye Olde pseudo-Victorian times ...

Nevermind that half the people standing behind him plan to throttle him the minute he comes into easy, convenient proximity, or that already a quarter of the fellow customers have deserted the store in a huff of discontent thick and viscid as syrup staining their features. It's with good reason, too. Some of them have been waiting there for hours on end, because Elliot definitely took the time out of schedule to show up the minute the bookstore opened to entomb himself at the only front desk in the entire place and assert his unswerving dominance. Or fulfill his desire to read the early volumes of his pet series. Or something. Whatever, it's all the same when it comes down to it.

Being accosted by Totsuka is nothing less than what he expects, but he doesn't even stare at him right away, still overly invested in yelling at the assistant manager (who is presently searching the archives for the fiftieth time in vain, phone stiffly pressed against one ear). ]

Hah?! What are you yammering on about? I waited for this book for seven weeks. They were supposed to get back to me in two. I showed up yesterday, the day before, the week before that — there's no excuse for their ineptitude. If they're going to be this imbecilic about something so simple, then I'm not backing down.

[ And he finally redirects his glare to the offending party in question, eyes flashing, pupils blown wide in exasperation. ]

I'll tell you one thing. There's no way in hell I'm getting out of this line until I get some answers!

[amemory]

[Wow, Totsuka is actually really impressed. This is the sort of fury that can only be inspired when the person in question really cares about the thing they're screaming about, right? He can't remember the last time he got angry about anything. (Totsuka please don't admire the guy screaming in the bookstore...)]

I don't see how standing in line will get you answers any faster though. [Totsuka says, mildy and without the fiery RAGE that everyone else in the store is probably feeling right now. Even while he says this, his eyes rest on a particularly SAD AND FRIGHTENED LOOKING LITTLE GIRL WAITING IN LINE WITH HER MOTHER... Elliot doesn't seem to be a cold savage... Maybe he can use this. Also, this little girl is hella cute. He squats down and effectively pulls her into a brief conversation, with her mumbling but eventually answering Totsuka's questions. Whether or not Elliot's paying any attention to Totsuka the Loli Whisperer, Totsuka straightens up and taps him on his shoulder regardless.]

Are you sure you don't want to move to the side? [earnestly!! and perfectly framed by the wibbly eyes of the girl behind him] Ellen's really looking forward to buying her picture book. And I'm sure she won't take long, right?

[THE LITTLE GIRL JUST LOOKS SCARED but also hopeful as she nods... while gazing up at Elliot...]

3

[unathletic]

[ .. well, this is pretty much the worst.

Heung Soo is just around doing his usual job, walking through the shopping district with packages.. and then he has to deliver one to the bookstore. Okay, no big deal. He'll just go in, walk up to the cashier, give it and head out. No big deal.

Except when he walks into the store, he's instead greeted by the hurricane that is an angry customer stuck in a discussion with the cashier.. the cashier that has to sign after taking the package for him to be able to leave..

This is going to be a long day.

He does wait a little bit, but Elliot just goes on and on and on and he finally speaks up. ]

Are you going to do this all day? [ Polite, Heung Soo.. so polite.. ]

[meriter]

[ Look, he's not even peripherally aware of anyone else at the moment, so caught up in his needs. He hadn't been quite this irascible in the beginning, but as with any gradual descent into madness goes, he's suffered through the slow-burn wait time for nearly two months now. If he can't solve the issue today, then there's no point in waiting around and exercising his own futility in the manner. But still.

Sorry, Heung Soo, Elliot's not apologetic in the slightest, although he does momentarily stutter out of that long-winded speech, shoulders jolting. There's a beat of silence when he perches a hand beneath his chin like he's genuinely deliberating over the inquiry, even if his expression is laced with the derisive sneer to grace mankind thus far. ]

Well, I'm not too sure myself. Maybe when my questions get some actual answers for once.

[ Yeah, it's settled. He's long past the point of rational thinking. ]

[unathletic]

[ That's totally past the point of rational thinking. Heung Soo could sense that from five miles away if he'd had to. Elliot mouth is moving and other words come out, but all he can hear is "yes, I'm going to be here keeping up the line for much longer".

This is why he hates his job, really. People like this. Why does this keep happening to him. ]

You're stuck in this place. [ His voice is a little flatly. You know, since this is obvious?! We're all stuck here, so no need to hurry over.. books or whatever of all things, just sit down and wait when you have this much time to spare anyway.

Besides-- ] Shouldn't you have some different priorities?

[ And that's said by an ex-delinquent underachiever.. look where you ended up, Elliot. Look at your life, your choices. ]

3

[poised]

[Listen Natalia gets frustrated with poor customer service as much as the next person but she's frowning deeply and setting her hands on her hips at the outburst. How undignified! Even if the clerk didn't get the correct series, it's not like it was done on purpose to slight the customer.

So she's speaking up rather firmly indeed.]

Hold your tongue! You are making a scene out of nothing - calm yourself!!

[meriter]

[ If he didn't know any better, he would've pegged her for some kind of authority figure. Something in the way she's speaking that's vaguely reminiscent of his arithmetic instructors, calm and concise and firmly grounded in sensibilities. It's too bad, at any rate, that he doesn't actually care that much. Not when he's dug himself in this far already — it'd be stupid to retract everything now just because of some ""trivial"" complaint. ]

Are you a new visitor here?

[ Elliot doesn't move from the spot, but his gaze rounds in on her like arrows to dead-center targets, lancing and accusatory. ]

If you weren't, you would've known how long I've been waiting for them, for months on end now, to merely admit they don't have the books in-stock. I've already paid in full. Weeks in advance, in fact. They're the ones who can't be bothered to keep their end of the bargain.

I wouldn't call it nothing.

[poised]

[Alas, Natalia is unafraid of anything and his accusatory gaze is met just as evenly by her icy glare. She places her hands on her hips and tilts her chin upward faintly, showing no intention to back down at all.]

It is nothing. More certainly, nothing to raise your voice over.

Have enough dignity to ask for your money back and leave to go to a different establishment! You waste only your breath if you continue to berate this worker.

2!

[ukakus]

[There are no security guards coming to haul his derriere away, but there sure are a lot of eavesdropper. In other words, Touka was navigating through the sea of creams and lotions when she happened upon the scene....... TO WALK AWAY OR INTERVENE, that is the question.

Ehhhh, oh well. She works with customers, too. She knows how annoying it is to deal with the vocal, angry ones. Might as well cut in before someone does the sensible thing and calls security.]

Jeez... What the hell do you think you're doing? Leave that man alone.

[DON'T MAKE EMPLOYEES LISTEN TO YOUR SOAPBOX RANTING, DUDE.]

[meriter]

[ Oh, Touka. That reasonable defense would definitely do the trick if he wasn't borderline-impulsive with a proclivity to say the worst things at the most inopportune times. It's not like he's even buying these exorbitant balms and salves with price tags tantamount to an elevated form of highway robbery for himself or anything — he just can't see the best in people, so obviously he expects the worst of them. This is no different.

Elliot waves one of the bulky plastic bag's handles like a malevolent omen, only he's trying to point back at her with a quick-snap rejoinder at the ready. ]

What? This isn't any of your business. Why are you intruding?

[ #DOUBLE STANDARDS. ]

2

[ofmisfortune]

That is to say, he won't be interested. Thank you.

[ Vincent smoothly intervenes, wrapping an arm around Elliot's shoulders while offering an amiable smile in some mild attempt to assuage the vendor's pride. Just like that, he will attempt to steer the boy away from the scene before any true damage is done. ]

We may have to find you escort, little brother. [ He teases with a playful tick of the tongue. ]

[meriter]

No, I'm not done here, these are completely valid complaints —

[ But it's such a halfhearted rebuttal that he visibly slackens and allows himself to be led away in the general direction of his apartment. However, Elliot only takes a few steps before pulling up short, expression marred into a tightening grimace, eyes flashing exasperatedly. ]

I don't need one! I can handle things perfectly fine by myself.

[ If he sounds particularly irascible, petulancy hung thick on his breath, it's not out of spite toward Vincent. His exhales catch somewhere in his throat, guttering low and even. ]

... Have you seen Leo?