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Entry tags:
( closed ) now don't you understand
Who: Shinpachi & Tenka
When: One of the days after the dreams.. somewhere around there.
Where: Tenka's bar WHERE ELSE...
What: Will Shinpachi and Tenka actually manage to have a serious conversation or will alcohol beat them to the punch: another installment in the exciting series.
Rating/Warning: Should be nothing other than maybe the two of them being the idiots they are somewhere down the line, who knows.
[ Honestly, the memory-dreams in itself didn't bother Shinpachi as much. He doesn't have anything he wants to hide - that's not his policy, after all - and the memory he saw that belonged to someone else didn't have anything particularly incriminating in it either. And he does realise this doesn't necessarily mean it's over and that there might still be yet another weird twist to it.
So it's not like he's entirely off guard, but.. whatever, life still goes on. And if Zelien couldn't stop him from drinking until they practically traumatized him about alcohol for a while, then this place sure can't do so either just with those weird dreams. So despite the circumstances, Shinpachi finds himself - where else - at Tenka's bar. Without Sano for once, but it's probably more a string of coincidences that made it end up that way than anything else.
It works out just fine like this too, though. Shinpachi's sitting there with one of his first cups (so he's not drunk yet or anywhere remotely close to it), just sipping from it slightly.. mostly since his thoughts do keep wandering off towards the dreams all the same. He's been thinking about what it means, after all.
But since there's someone else here, Shinpachi might as well do what he does best - wondering out loud. ]
Hey, Tenka. [ He puts the cup down on the counter for a moment. ] You had to deal with those weird dreams too?
When: One of the days after the dreams.. somewhere around there.
Where: Tenka's bar WHERE ELSE...
What: Will Shinpachi and Tenka actually manage to have a serious conversation or will alcohol beat them to the punch: another installment in the exciting series.
Rating/Warning: Should be nothing other than maybe the two of them being the idiots they are somewhere down the line, who knows.
[ Honestly, the memory-dreams in itself didn't bother Shinpachi as much. He doesn't have anything he wants to hide - that's not his policy, after all - and the memory he saw that belonged to someone else didn't have anything particularly incriminating in it either. And he does realise this doesn't necessarily mean it's over and that there might still be yet another weird twist to it.
So it's not like he's entirely off guard, but.. whatever, life still goes on. And if Zelien couldn't stop him from drinking until they practically traumatized him about alcohol for a while, then this place sure can't do so either just with those weird dreams. So despite the circumstances, Shinpachi finds himself - where else - at Tenka's bar. Without Sano for once, but it's probably more a string of coincidences that made it end up that way than anything else.
It works out just fine like this too, though. Shinpachi's sitting there with one of his first cups (so he's not drunk yet or anywhere remotely close to it), just sipping from it slightly.. mostly since his thoughts do keep wandering off towards the dreams all the same. He's been thinking about what it means, after all.
But since there's someone else here, Shinpachi might as well do what he does best - wondering out loud. ]
Hey, Tenka. [ He puts the cup down on the counter for a moment. ] You had to deal with those weird dreams too?
no subject
.... I really respect you, man.
[In case that wasn't clear. Tenka just waves a hand as he clarifies-]
Suppose you could say I was just curious. I think I mentioned to you before that Sousei and I stopped speaking for ten years and.... well, it sort of stemmed from a decision that I made a while back. It made sense at the time and I still don't think that I would change it, but.... I always think that people leaving or people getting left behind really is one of the most painful things in the world.
no subject
It brings a smile on his face that doesn't fade even when she speaks. ]
A man's just gotta make his own decisions in life, even if they're painful sometimes. [ It's not like he doesn't hate the idea of leaving people behind. The idea that the other guys of the Shinsengumi will almost all die in the future is terrible to him, after all. ] I mean.. it's not like I haven't considered quitting the Shinsengumi before over this or that, y'know?
[ Even if technically the punishment for wanting to leave is seppuku, but Shinpachi does what Shinpachi wants. ]
When something doesn't mesh with the way you wanna live life, no matter how important it might be.. there may come a time you have to leave it behind.
no subject
It's.... validation. It's validation and Shinpachi doesn't even seem to realize that he's saying the exact words that Tenka fussed over for ten years. Leading the Yamainu didn't mesh with Tenka's way of life after his parents were murdered and so he left it. He left his friends and companions and the people who were the closest thing to family he had otherwise, and he's been tormented by the decision.
After all, Sousei hated him for it, didn't he?
So he smiles faintly down at the counter as he makes a vaguely affirming noise.]
You know.... I came to that same realization when I was younger.
[He meets Shinpachi's eyes and figures that he might as well share a little bit more about himself - he trusts the other enough. So he vaguely recalls his old conversation with Sano and asks the same question:]
How much do you know about Sousei's job?
no subject
[ It feels sort of.. oddly random to bring up Sousei's job all of a sudden. But it's not like they're just messing around the way they usually (read: almost always) do, so he figures there's got to be a reason behind it.
And Shinpachi's never the kind to turn someone down when they want to share something serious, so after a moment of surprised blinking, he thinks and answers. ]
Other than that he's the perfect kind of hardass for it? [ Okay, that's still maybe a little lightly, he's fond of Sousei but can't resist the small dig exactly because of that.. but he remains serious after it. ] He's leading the.. Yamainu, right? I figured they sort of do the stuff we do back home-- keeping the peace and all.
no subject
Yeah.... Sousei's definitely gotten suited to the role of Captain over the past couple years.
[Which brings him back around to his point-]
Guess that's why I always think it's funny that I used to have his job. [He meets Shinpachi's eyes and manages mildly-] Ten years ago, he was my vice captain.
[And then Tenka had to leave the Yamainu and his best friend.
Whoa, look at that nice little circle that he drew.]
no subject
But he does realise it's that thing that must've driven them apart.. Tenka left the Yamainu, or at least his position, and Sousei stuck to it--
Well, he can't say he doesn't get it. If Sano did that to him, he'd be pissed too. ]
He didn't like that you quit, huh.
no subject
[ . . . . and he pauses as he gets a bit more of a distant look in his eyes, reflecting on his own past and decisions.]
... I regret it a little bit. They were my closest friends - the Yamainu. They were family, really. My dad was the commander and he handpicked everyone on the squad. But when he passed away.... [Things got more complicated. More complicated than he's willing to tell Shinpachi right now but - that's just one of Tenka's secrets.]
Well, I had to do what would be best for my brothers, even if it meant leaving behind the rest of my family....
no subject
[ He sort of gets it - the Shinsengumi might not be his literal family since his own father sure isn't involved with them in any way, but it feels the same nonetheless. So even though he knows he's eventually going to leave them and even though he knows that it'll be for a good reason he can stick to, it still hurts a little.
But-- ]
No changing the past, right? Even if this or that might've hurt, you gotta believe in your decision and move on. That's the mark of a true man. [ Cheesy as all hell, yes, but he means it seriously. ]
no subject
[He remarks on that idly as he fills up Shinpachi's sake cup again, if only to give his hands something to do. And it's true -Tenka went ten years with minimal contact with the Yamainu at all, only hearing vague whispers about what they were up to.]
You gotta admit that it'd be hard if Sano-san was pissed at you to the point that he stopped talking to you.
no subject
But Tenka's also right. It'd hurt like hell to have the guy who matters the most to him be mad at him and stop talking to him. There's a reason why the thought of Sano dying along with the other members of the Shinsengumi in the future hurts so much, after all, and even now it manages to make Shinpachi's smile very, very wry. ]
You wouldn't be able to tell by now though. That you two didn't talk for so long, I mean. [ Sousei seems perpetually annoyed and angry with Tenka, sure, but it's in this.. weirdly fond way. It's easy for Shinpachi to look at them and be able to tell they're friends, anyway, but maybe that has more to do with the way he interacts with some of his more sour friends too. ] So in the end it all turned out fine, even though you made that kinda decision..
[ He takes a gulp of his drink. ]
What a lucky bastard, that Tenka. Getting the best of all worlds.