[ tell me, who's that funky dude ★ closed ]

[bigstick]

Who: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA feat. the united kingdom, abe no sousei, and kotarou katsura
When: vague time happenstances of stuff
Where: grocery store, indian restaurant, ramen cart???
What: domesticityityityitiytitiyitititityiyityiy
Rating/Warning: overdoses of FRIENDSHIP, YO

---

[ they're all down there, bro vvvvvvvvvv ]

Comments

[unionjackoff]

[yep, that sure is one annoying laugh. America sounds like a dying cow]

...Oh. [NO SOUP FOR YOU ENGLAND. he could cry right here, man... whatever, it's not like he wanted some of your stupid New England chowder anyway. chowder head] I'm actually amazed that you didn't eat it all yourself.

[ZING]

[bigstick]

[ at least this dying cow has friends ]

Why would I do something as douchey as that? Haha, dude, you're really silly sometimes! Do you hog all your food when you make extra? Oh my god, I'm never going over to your house again.

[ america, you are a GIANT HYPOCRITE who is just wired to make england feel like shit, aren't you? shame on you. anyway he's just slouching over the cart as he pushes it along, heading into the first aisle they come across and looking at the stuff as they pass. ]

[unionjackoff]

[it's not like America visits him much anymore anyway, though England manages to keep his trap sealed on that one, because he wants this shopping trip to be as civil as possible. if he says too much, he might push America away again.

so he pointedly ignores that remark, and checks over his list. hm, they're passing through the dairy aisle, so he'll grab some milk and cheese and.......]

...Does everything have to have CERES' bloody signature on it? [CERES milk, CERES cheese. that only makes him less hungry. LOOK AT THIS SHITE]

[bigstick]

[ it's because your house smells like old people and foot!! how do you not realize this, old man?!

but he does look mildly surprised when england starts bemoaning and approaches the dairy to look alongside him. ]

CERES Chocolate Milk... CERES Strawberry Milk...? See, that just makes me wonder why they had to brand the chocolate and strawberry? Like, is it not normal chocolate and strawberry? Dude, super weird, yo.

[ he's... still going to read out and take a carton of normal milk and strawberry milk anyway. and some CERES brand string cheese! ]

[unionjackoff]

[and England's only buying the CERES brand milk because... there is nothing else. no off-brands, or anything of the like]

I worry that they're putting something in their food, honestly. [and some more deli meats, added to his cart] At least the tea shop has the decency to not slap the logo all over everything. [let him believe the teas are different, and not part of CERES' filth...! even though England is certain they are]

[bigstick]

[ the year is 1984 and george orwell is writing this novel ]

You're worried about the food? Dude, they literally rewrote our whole bodies! I say if they put something in us, it's totally already there!

[ and one day they'll all find out about the eye implants and that will be a good day. ]

So, might as well eat the food, right? Hahaha.

[ piling some more stuff in his cart including, but not limited to, chocolate pudding. whip cream in a can. ready to make pie crust. ]

[unionjackoff]

[that thought had also occurred to England, but he didn't like to think about it. now that America has brought it up, England's stomach churns uncomfortably. he takes a quick look at his arm, as though he is expecting to see something crawling under the skin. PARANOIA IS FUN.

then he moves to catch up with America]

Have you had any contact with Julius or Elias, or any of those guys recently?

[bigstick]

[ you really shouldn't hang out with america if you don't want to be paranoid, england. like, for real.

he's busy deciding between orange juice with pulp or orange juice without when england asks him that and he looks up before back down at the juice, considering. ]

Nah, not so much. Been thinking of texting Vincere about how much of a dick he is. Or maybe breaking something of his? You think he has a car? I gotta find out if he has a car.

[ so he can key it, obviously ]

[unionjackoff]

[England is cynical, so he winds himself up enough just fine without America]

I... haven't seen any cars here, now that I think of it. [no juice for him, but some of these packaged greens will go into his bag]

[bigstick]

[ haha weird old man.

america ends up choosing pulp and putting it in the cart, going for some other juices now to fill in. mmm, fruit punch. ]

I think only the rich folk use it. Like Vincere's probs got a car but everyone else seems to use public transit. Trains seem like the best way to get around here.

[ he takes the metro-rail here pretty often and it's nice, nicer than a train system should be he thinks but it might be nice to have a car too, probably. ]

[unionjackoff]

[only the rich people have cars? huh, England used to be rich. he makes soft noise in response, but otherwise doesn't mention it]

I wonder if the cars can fly. [next aisle, England is going to get some wholemeal muffins. ...well, they're called English muffins in Cerealia, like in America. why.]

[bigstick]

[ you gotta stop clinging to that wealth, brah. roll with the times!!

and obviously because it's the accurate name. he's gonna grab a pack too and then some white bread and hot dog bread and... burger bread... ]

Haha, probs. [ and then he thinks about it ] Well, fuck me, I want a flying car too! These assholes think they can just hold out on us?! I'm gonna get a flying car, god damnit.

[unionjackoff]

[he's trying! at least England has a job here now]

With all this technology, I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to invent your own. [though maybe that would be Japan's or Germany's thing? England's just amused by the outburst, even though some other people are staring at America because he is swearing in a grocery store]

[bigstick]

[ aw good on you, england. joining the workforce like a functional human being.

but he suddenly looks kind of shocked at that. ]

Dude, you're so right. And if I can do it before Russia? Haha, yes. Get to fly around in my flying car and fly circles around that fucker's head. Hah.

[ america, you haven't talked to russia in like, weeks and he wasn't even involved in this conversation you loon.

he proceeds to then punch the air and continue shopping. yep. ]

[unionjackoff]

[oh dear. did England give America an idea? at least it would be something to keep him busy. anyway]

Ah, that reminds me. Have you heard from him lately? Russia, I mean.