estoria | « 011 ⇢ event011.exe

Who: CERES & you
When: ooc: 03/22-03/25; ic: 12/09-12/10
Where: Cerealia's Entertainment District
What: OVERFLOW OF THE INTRO LOG
Rating/Warning: PG-13 | possibly nsfw (please let us know if you need this rating changed, or you are welcome to continue any naughty shenanigans in a private log)

//event011.EXE

The Gifts that Keeps on Giving ((You)) Nightmares

It's been a whole month without any new arrivals. Who knows why? If you ask CERES, they won't bother with any in-depth explanations. They will simply claim that none of the code out there has been responding to their recovery methods, so they had to rework a lot of their technology. However, after several weeks of grueling work, they have finally experienced success! A fresh new batch of faces is coming in, and to celebrate their arrival and the real upcoming holidays, CEO Julius Vincere has arranged for a Christmas-themed carnival for all to enjoy.

Those who arrive will wake up in Cerealia and be given a long, boring explanation and powerpoint as per usual before being ushered onto a bus (there is no escape. The robots will force you onto the bus one way or another). You will be unwillingly carted to the theme park where you will be immediately assaulted by a giant array of lights followed by several rides that you can enjoy. After you disembark from the bus, one of the snowman robots will be waiting to give you tickets to the rides and show you around as part of the Grand Opening. The amusement park will remain open for the rest of the month of December so anyone can visit as they please. The first couple tickets will also be on the house for new arrivals, but the rest will have to be bought with credits, so choose wisely! (Or try and sneak into the rides -- then face the wrath of the snowman robots and their snowman firearms :D)

"☃ WELCOME NEW ARRIVALS ❅
YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT THE SANTASTICAL FOREST OF CHRISTMAS WONDERS ❅
PLEASE ENJOY ALL THE RIDES CEO JULIUS VINCERE HAS HAND-PICKED FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT ❅
WE WISH TO BRING YOU MERRY FEELINGS FOR THE HOLIDAY ❅
COME GIVE SNOWTRON 5000 A HUG ❅
WHAT? YOU DON'T WANT ONE ❅
BUT I WAS PROGRAMMED TO CONVEY HUGGING AS LOVE THROUGH AFFECTION ❅
PLEASE DON'T RUN ❅
COME BAAAAACK, VISITOR ❅"

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ xxxx ] Do you like ferris wheels? This is an enchanting one where you get to ride around in a giant snowflake at a very limited speed. The wheel will turn excruciatingly slow before stopping abruptly, leaving you trapped at the very top. We hope you're not afraid of heights because you're going to be in there for a while! The windows on the snowflake will rapidly darken leaving you and your fellow riders trapped in the darkness. At that moment, you will feel something warm breathing down your neck and along the back of your ear. As you reach over, you'll feel like the chair underneath you is made of snakeskin, and a hissing sound will intensify as the "chair" squirms and as the breathing gets louder and hotter. Scrabble at the doors, fight your way out! Will you escape or not? Probably not, but the experience will last only a good five minutes before the lights come back on and before the ferris wheel starts moving again. The chair will appear as normal, and there will be no one else inside except any fellow riders who came with you.

PHASE II

[ xxxx ] If the ferris wheel didn't "do it" for you, then perhaps a fun house will? If you're a fan, that is! This Christmas-themed funhouse features a wonderful walk through a snowy forest convered in singing reindeer. The more you walk through, the more you will notice things like within the distorted mirrors, there will briefly appear strange specters. You will also hear a bunch of howling in the background, and while you may think that you're safe since they're trapped behind a mirror, you are very wrong. The lights will go out once more, and you will hear the mirrors shatter all around and feel yourself being grabbed and hurled to the ground. Whatever is coming for you is something you can't see, but it's advancing fast with impressive strength to hurl you back once more. You will feel pain erupt through your body before an engineer will appear to get the lights back on. Once they're back on, the reindeer will be happily singing, and all the mirrors will appear as they were before -unbroken.

PHASE III

[ xxxx ] After those interesting adventures, another option would be to simply visit the rocking santacoaster, a large, sprawling roller coaster that reaches 150 mph. You will be strapped into a sled and be shot through the tracks where you can scream and cry all you want except once you reach the tunnel, everything will come to a sudden stop (whiplash pending). You and the other riders will be in there for a few minutes, surrounded by a dozen santas as they start to fly out from the tunnel walls, carrying swords and swooping down to take a swipe at you. You better duck or be prepared to be cut up by their blades. The rollercoaster will abruptly resume, and when you reach the end, you might notice some bleeding, a little bit of hair missing, or some clothes shred up. If you ask the snowman robots about it, they will just shrug and claim they don't know what you're talking about. Please go enjoy a snowcone on the house!

PHASE IV

[ xxxx ] The Christmas whirl will be your last stop for the evening! This is a ride that goes round and round and round while tilting. Everyone will be strapped into it while standing up and forced to hold on as it spins, and somewhere in the midst of the spinning, the ride will suddenly malfunction. Yes, big surprise there! But it won't stop spinning. It will just be a rockier ride, and you will seemingly enter a new space where you will be among the stars and seeing planets all around you. Your own home planet will be amongst them before it breaks open like an egg and out crawls a friendly visitor. If you get bit by it, you will spend the rest of the day and night experiencing an array of possible symptoms, including: a voracious appetite, a fear of light, the urge to 'mate' with anyone who smells especially good, heightened senses, the ability to climb on all kinds of surfaces, irritability and crankiness... (( you don't have to experience them all. you can pick and choose which one you like. ))

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] What's that jingling you hear in the background? Why, it's Santa Clause! Coming here all the way from the North Pole. The park will stop, and all the snowman robots will gather in the square, ushering along as many people as possible. Santa-Bot X-3 will be seated on his chair to welcome all visitors to sit on his metaphorical lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. He will then give them a nicely wrapped present and tell them that it's exactly what they asked for, but they can't open it until they get home. For those who can't wait and choose to open it quickly, they will get some nice treats from Mundus Caelestis. But beware! Those who do take this gift home will experience a weird after-effect as the lovely red and white toy will come to life on its own and hop out of the box that evening to try and violently electrocute the owner. The other one is completely harmless.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's latest intro post For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing what's going on right here and feel free to consult the FAQ if needed. Please leave any lingering questions in the OOC post, and we'll answer them as soon as we can. If this post goes into overflow, we will make a new one to deal with the ever-hated captcha! Worry not!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Souji can only take so much embarrassment and tension before he runs out of fucks to give, and Yogi happily escalates the process via that remark. At first he blinks at the other man in shocked incomprehension, and then he simply folds up - careful not to squeeze Saizō - laughing helplessly.

Sorry, it will take a while before he's properly coherent again.]

In case it happens again? You know, I think I'm going to have to try very hard to be put in a situation like this again - and honestly, I think I'd rather not. [He wipes tears of laughter from his eyes, beaming at Yogi.] I'm Okita Souji, by the way. It's very nice to meet you. Now, maybe we should get rid of that thing before people get funny ideas?

[It takes a few moments to realize what is happening, but Yogi catches on quickly enough, and while he almost starts sputtering, he can't help but appreciate the ridiculousness of it all. Breaking out into an embarrassed chuckle, he shuffles his feet until the other man can talk again.]

W-well you know, just in case! [With a smile of his own, he bobs his head.] I'm Yogi, and it's nice to meet you too, even if it was like this. You're right, I'd really, really like to get rid of this as soon as possible!

[As far as Souji is concerned, if you can laugh about something together then it can't be so very bad, and while the sight of the... object is sill pretty awkward, he relaxes considerably. At least those three aren't here to make an even more embarrassing and probably louder fuss about this whole thing.]

Well, I know how I'm usually asked to solve problems, but even if I had my sword here... it would seem a bit silly to attack suck a thing in that manner, right? [He's clearly teasing, but that is honestly his standard method of communication at least 50% of the time, at least.] So maybe we should just find somewhere to dispose of it instead?

[It's a remark that catches him off guard, and Yogi blinks at the question.]

No, no, a sword wouldn't be very good with this at all. [The idea of using his own weapons to deal with something like this is so ridiculous that he can't help but snicker at the very idea.] A trash can is just what we need, right away!

[He's aware that he probably makes quite a sight, delicately holding the offending toy with his fingers while he scans the area for even one garbage bin.]

[Souji laughs as well, taking a firmer grip on his struggling pig and making an admonishing little noise and scratching him distractedly behind one ear.]

Well, Saizō certainly seems to think attacking it is a good idea, but I think we might be right in this situation.

[He looks around, standing on his tiptoes to do so, because while he's not remarkably short, he's not exactly very tall either. Yogi has an obvious advantage there.]

Maybe over there somewhere? [He waves vaguely in one direction which doesn't seem quite so crowded.] Because I don't suppose it's possible to get one of the things that gave it to me to take it back.

None of us would be happy if he got his way in this situation!

[He does indeed have no need to go up on his tiptoes, so he can see where there's less people and, hopefully, less embarrassment when he finally gets rid of the vibrator.]

That's a start, it really doesn't look too bad over there. I don't even know if these robots are programmed to take anything back, but I bet they'd be stubborn about it either way.

[And because he is a Serious Adult who can handle Serious Things, Yogi takes a deep breath and gestures with his free hand to the less populated part of the area.]

I'm gonna-- you know, be right back.

[At that, Souji gives Yogi a surprised look, and then laughs and shakes his head, hair flying everywhere.]

Don't be silly!

[And just like that, he'll shift Saizō to his left arm, using the right one to loop it around Yogi's and drag him along in the direction he just pointed. For someone quite frail-looking, he's apparently pretty strong, even as he practically skips alongside the other man.]

If we started this together, we should finish it the same way, right?

Wha--

[Arm in arm is not how he pictured he'd be going to throw anything away. He stumbles over his first step, but is able to keep up after that. They must look so ridiculous that he can't help but laugh to himself as they go.]

Right, I can't argue with that logic, especially when you're so determined! I appreciate not having to do this alone, too.

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"attack suck" wow thanks autocorrect you're a pal /WEEPS

If it helps, I laughed because I'm mature like that

I laughed hideously and felt intense shame /high fives

adulting \o/!