[heung soo isn't wrong—this is tradition, in every sense of the word. but nam soon is so unused to following these sorts of things; he's so used to not even paying attention to his birthday that the feeling is just overwhelming him.
continuously so, even, because he can't seem to get a solid grip on his composure at all. his lips purse a bit as he sucks in another breath through his nose. this isn't working at all. he can't even bring himself to look up, letting his gaze remain on the bowl of soup. it's his hand that makes the first move, unsteadily grabbing the spoon, though nam soon doesn't seem to get any further than that for the moment. he's thankful for this, for the fact that heung soo is willing to go this far for him.
but he can't help that feeling that sits in his head—the one that wonders how this could happen. the one that reminds him that he doesn't necessarily deserve this, and that maybe he's the one who needs to continuously do more for his best friend. it's a moment of slight brokenness, a quiet reminder that he's done nothing to deserve this brand of kindness from heung soo; even if they've long since settled the past, it's just hard for nam soon to fathom. heung soo... he was really able to have that much forgiveness, to put aside every last thing that had happened to bring them into this situation? it's too fortunate and too considerate, even if it comes from a good place and a knowing that there is nobody else in nam soon's life who would do this sort of thing for him.]
...You dumb bastard. [of course, there is no malice in his tone when he says those words. if anything, it's probably easy to hear the way his voice breaks a little—that nam soon feels strongly about this in a way that makes it hard for him to even speak. it's definitely equal parts baffled and touched, he's definitely not unhappy about this.
he just can't understand, even now, why heung soo would work so hard to do something so thoughtful for a terrible bastard like himself.]
Thanks. [he finally manages to convey that much, at least—he's forcing back questioning everything else because he's not sure how to do so without pissing heung soo off with his own self-deprecation.]
no subject
continuously so, even, because he can't seem to get a solid grip on his composure at all. his lips purse a bit as he sucks in another breath through his nose. this isn't working at all. he can't even bring himself to look up, letting his gaze remain on the bowl of soup. it's his hand that makes the first move, unsteadily grabbing the spoon, though nam soon doesn't seem to get any further than that for the moment. he's thankful for this, for the fact that heung soo is willing to go this far for him.
but he can't help that feeling that sits in his head—the one that wonders how this could happen. the one that reminds him that he doesn't necessarily deserve this, and that maybe he's the one who needs to continuously do more for his best friend. it's a moment of slight brokenness, a quiet reminder that he's done nothing to deserve this brand of kindness from heung soo; even if they've long since settled the past, it's just hard for nam soon to fathom. heung soo... he was really able to have that much forgiveness, to put aside every last thing that had happened to bring them into this situation? it's too fortunate and too considerate, even if it comes from a good place and a knowing that there is nobody else in nam soon's life who would do this sort of thing for him.]
...You dumb bastard. [of course, there is no malice in his tone when he says those words. if anything, it's probably easy to hear the way his voice breaks a little—that nam soon feels strongly about this in a way that makes it hard for him to even speak. it's definitely equal parts baffled and touched, he's definitely not unhappy about this.
he just can't understand, even now, why heung soo would work so hard to do something so thoughtful for a terrible bastard like himself.]
Thanks. [he finally manages to convey that much, at least—he's forcing back questioning everything else because he's not sure how to do so without pissing heung soo off with his own self-deprecation.]