park "very grim yogurt" heung soo ( 박흥수 ) (
unathletic) wrote in
estoria2015-04-24 08:22 pm
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Who: Nam Soon and Heung Soo
When: IC 12/24
Where: Their apartment
What: Heung Soo decides to do something for his best friend's birthday. Dumb stuff ensues.
Rating/Warning: Bastards. That's all.
[ Heung Soo hasn't deceived himself. He knows this place isn't normal, and he knows that every semi-normal moment they can grab is already a precious commodity. Inbetween losing their senses or body or having to deal with killer clowns or piercing cold or other people finding out the most awkward and painful things about them, it's rare to get a moment where they can just live normally. And even when they do, it's not like it's even a single bit like back home in Seoul.
But even so, he can't just use that as an excuse to let Nam Soon's birthday pass by without anything special. He knows that Nam Soon probably isn't used to anything special either way and probably wouldn't mind to begin with, but Heung Soo would mind. It's exactly why he would mind - they spent three years apart where Nam Soon probably had birthdays that were the same as any other day, so now they've reconciled, he better get proper birthdays once more.
Even if he has to be the bastard to ensure that happens.
It's why he's tried to untangle himself from the other's limbs and escape the bed a little earlier than usually this morning. His hair is still a little messy since he didn't bother to get up early enough to take care of that alongside everything else - it makes for a surprisingly domestic scene, everything considered. Heung Soo trying his best in the kitchen (which already takes a lot, although he's at least been getting a little more practice with that here), hair a little ruffled, two curious critters hardly identifiable as robots attempting to climb onto the kitchen counters to get a better view of what's going on.
In fact, he's so busy with it that he probably won't even notice if Nam Soon got up in the time it took for Heung Soo to try and make the traditional seaweed soup -- he's currently way too busy trying to (gently) push away the tiny dinosaur as it's peering into the pot, mumbling something to the CYBuddy under his breath about this being for that bastard and not for it. The duck is starting its climb up Heung Soo's leg to try and get up there as well, there's a small piece of seaweed stuck to his cheek, but..
.. well, it's a scene where an attempt is being made pretty hard, okay. ]
When: IC 12/24
Where: Their apartment
What: Heung Soo decides to do something for his best friend's birthday. Dumb stuff ensues.
Rating/Warning: Bastards. That's all.
[ Heung Soo hasn't deceived himself. He knows this place isn't normal, and he knows that every semi-normal moment they can grab is already a precious commodity. Inbetween losing their senses or body or having to deal with killer clowns or piercing cold or other people finding out the most awkward and painful things about them, it's rare to get a moment where they can just live normally. And even when they do, it's not like it's even a single bit like back home in Seoul.
But even so, he can't just use that as an excuse to let Nam Soon's birthday pass by without anything special. He knows that Nam Soon probably isn't used to anything special either way and probably wouldn't mind to begin with, but Heung Soo would mind. It's exactly why he would mind - they spent three years apart where Nam Soon probably had birthdays that were the same as any other day, so now they've reconciled, he better get proper birthdays once more.
Even if he has to be the bastard to ensure that happens.
It's why he's tried to untangle himself from the other's limbs and escape the bed a little earlier than usually this morning. His hair is still a little messy since he didn't bother to get up early enough to take care of that alongside everything else - it makes for a surprisingly domestic scene, everything considered. Heung Soo trying his best in the kitchen (which already takes a lot, although he's at least been getting a little more practice with that here), hair a little ruffled, two curious critters hardly identifiable as robots attempting to climb onto the kitchen counters to get a better view of what's going on.
In fact, he's so busy with it that he probably won't even notice if Nam Soon got up in the time it took for Heung Soo to try and make the traditional seaweed soup -- he's currently way too busy trying to (gently) push away the tiny dinosaur as it's peering into the pot, mumbling something to the CYBuddy under his breath about this being for that bastard and not for it. The duck is starting its climb up Heung Soo's leg to try and get up there as well, there's a small piece of seaweed stuck to his cheek, but..
.. well, it's a scene where an attempt is being made pretty hard, okay. ]
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that effort is always a fruitless one, given his relative unconscious state, and once heung soo is free of that grip, nam soon will just further cocoon himself in the comforter and fall back into a deeper state of sleep. he can easily sleep for another hour or so before the empty space beside him becomes uncomfortable. it's then that he begins to awaken a little more properly, and also when he hears all the sounds coming from the kitchen.
at that point, he's grumbling a little to himself, groggily wondering what that bastard is up to and taken note through bleary eyes that their robotpets aren't in the room, either. if he was more awake, maybe nam soon would think about how oddly domestic this is; how no matter how much they worry about their situations and what may happen, how much it's not like truly being home, that they've found a compromise to at least make things comfortable in the interim. the fact that they have morning routines and pets—this was once unimaginable, even back in seoul of course, he's not really thinking about those things now, not outside of some vague thought that always sits in the back of his mind.
what he's thinking now is much simpler. it's more along the lines of "was that a sound from the kitchen and what is this dumb bastard doing?" since it doesn't just sound like the rice cooker beeping. still, it takes him a few minutes to pull himself from the bed, feet shuffling into slippers (look how classy they are these days, they even have slippers) before he trudges to the door. once in the doorway, he'll peer out to the kitchen, unmoving from that point. nam soon's hair is still disheveled from sleep, and one side of his face has faint lines from being pressed against the sheets.]
Heung Soo-yah... [he says, and his voice is still froggy—he's a mess of a kid that just woke up for sure. nam soon barely has his eyes open, and he definitely can't see what the hell heung soo is up to there. even with the smell of food hanging in the air, it's something he eats so infrequently that the aroma feels foreign.] What the hell are you making?
[he cooks on his own so rarely, especially for breakfast that this situation is just baffling.]
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There's a pause of a few seconds where he's doubtlessly trying to think of the least embarrassing answer to this question, but it'd be hard to lie about something like that when the whole point of it is giving Nam Soon the seaweed soup once it's done.. it's the proper birthday ritual, after all.
So he releases the CYBuddy for a moment to wipe his cheek clean with the back of his hand, regaining at least a little bit of his dignity.
.. as much as anyone can in this situation, anyway. ]
What day is it today, you bastard?
[ That's enough of an answer, isn't it? He uses his free hand to gesture over towards the table. ]
Just go sit.
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which is cute in its own right, but definitely only part of the focus (because really, how can a bastard with that dinosaur face manage to be cute? it's a mystery). still, it doesn't matter much, because nam soon is just looking on blearily, somewhat blankly, even. the question doesn't seem to faze him in the least, either. he's still just... standing there. and after a minute, he'll tilt his head and squint a little.
...why is he asking that? what day is it today?]
Wednesday. I think... [for a moment, nam soon purses his lips, thinking about his work schedule from the previous day. based on that? yes, it had to be wednesday. it's kind of a dumb question to ask, or at least, nam soon thinks so. the actual date doesn't seem to occur to him in the least, and even if it did... so what. it's the 24th, it's not as if there's anything special about it to him. with so much else going on, despite their attempts to maintain something comfortable to live in, just means that he really is thinking about his birthday less.
well, that and having not even celebrated once over the last three or so years.
either way, he's shrugging it off, taking a seat at the table and rubbing his eyes a little. he can't hold back the yawn that escapes his mouth before stretching his arms out over his head—he didn't laze around in bed to really wake up like he normally would when he's not rushing because of this whole (strange) situation. seriously, you bastard. why are you in the kitchen so early in the morning. explain yourself.]
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He shouldn't even be surprised. Especially since Heung Soo doubts that his birthday is a big deal to his best friend by now after all these years, and this place and the effects of staying there has had on them added on top of it.. but even so, hearing Nam Soon saying so calmly that he thinks it's Wednesday is near facepalm-worthy. It's a good thing he doesn't have any readily available with the way he has to keep the CYBuddies away from ruining everything and at the same time having to pour the soup into a bowl.
At least he manages it without any real accidents, and as he heads on over to the table with the bowl, the dino and duck happily hop off the counter to follow him over to the table, all the way until Heung Soo sits down on the opposite side of it, putting the bowl on the table in front of Nam Soon. ]
.. happy birthday, you bastard.
[ That's what day it is, yes.
Just don't mind the way the dinosaur is already happily climbing into Heung Soo's lap to make it his seat.. the duck, on the other hand, is already on Nam Soon's side to try and peer into the bowl. Noisy bastards.. but adorably cute, anyway. Hopefully they can at least keep the attention off Heung Soo a little here, since this sort of sappiness is a little embarrassing, even if he would never do any less for his favourite bastard. ]
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oh.
there's a moment where nam soon's eyes widen from the realization of what's happening here—heung soo is right, isn't he? it's december 24th. his birthday. a day he'd put out of his mind and carried on like it never mattered, because there hadn't been anyone to remember it for these years.
sure, his dad would leave extra money, or maybe even call to wish his son a happy birthday, but when living in that hazy fog that he did in his time alone, it was easy to never think twice of it. but now here he is with a bowl of seaweed soup in front of him, and this bastard wishing his a happy birthday in the only way they both would know how. truthfully, for nam soon? that's overwhelming in every respect. because he didn't expect it, because he didn't even remember it himself while heung soo did, because this bastard woke up early to make him that soup even though the kitchen isn't his strong suit at all. he barely even notices the way the duck is trying to peer into the bowl, how he's trying to scramble into nam soon's lap to get a closer look.]
Heung Soo-yah...
[he barely manages to get the words out—it's clear nam soon is a bit overwhelmed and choked up over this. even though he already expects to be told not to get sappy about it, or a sigh... he can't really help himself. there's something warm and familiar about this; how heung soo would always bring him that soup on his birthday, even at his worst and most punk times. of course, back then it was different, always bought at the convenience store or made by heung soo's mother, but the sentiment still stands.
there's the slightest tremble in his hands as he reaches for the spoon—he doesn't pick it up yet though, instead drawing in a quiet breath to try and keep himself composed.]
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He's touched. And.. well, he did expect something like this, so it's not like he can complain about it being embarrassing without sounding like a total hypocrite. Besides, even if Nam Soon is overwhelmed, it's in a happy kind of sense, right?
And as long as this bastard is happy, as long as his birthday can bring him some joy again despite all the bullshit in this place.. then it's fine. It brings an odd warmth to his chest, and Heung Soo has to glance away to avoid the head rising to his face enough to color his cheeks. There's only so long he can bear the sight of Nam Soon looking that emotionally overwhelmed. ]
What? It's tradition. [ Trying to downplay it a little, as if there isn't a huge personal aspect in all of this.. he knows Nam Soon will know better than to just assume that's all about it too, anyway, but saying those words out loud is just more comfortable for him.
The dinosaur seems to realise as much too, bumping its head a little against Heung Soo's chest as if trying to force out more words than just that. ]
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continuously so, even, because he can't seem to get a solid grip on his composure at all. his lips purse a bit as he sucks in another breath through his nose. this isn't working at all. he can't even bring himself to look up, letting his gaze remain on the bowl of soup. it's his hand that makes the first move, unsteadily grabbing the spoon, though nam soon doesn't seem to get any further than that for the moment. he's thankful for this, for the fact that heung soo is willing to go this far for him.
but he can't help that feeling that sits in his head—the one that wonders how this could happen. the one that reminds him that he doesn't necessarily deserve this, and that maybe he's the one who needs to continuously do more for his best friend. it's a moment of slight brokenness, a quiet reminder that he's done nothing to deserve this brand of kindness from heung soo; even if they've long since settled the past, it's just hard for nam soon to fathom. heung soo... he was really able to have that much forgiveness, to put aside every last thing that had happened to bring them into this situation? it's too fortunate and too considerate, even if it comes from a good place and a knowing that there is nobody else in nam soon's life who would do this sort of thing for him.]
...You dumb bastard. [of course, there is no malice in his tone when he says those words. if anything, it's probably easy to hear the way his voice breaks a little—that nam soon feels strongly about this in a way that makes it hard for him to even speak. it's definitely equal parts baffled and touched, he's definitely not unhappy about this.
he just can't understand, even now, why heung soo would work so hard to do something so thoughtful for a terrible bastard like himself.]
Thanks. [he finally manages to convey that much, at least—he's forcing back questioning everything else because he's not sure how to do so without pissing heung soo off with his own self-deprecation.]
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And while it's not like Heung Soo can read the other's thoughts or anything, he does probably have a vague idea of what's going on here. Why else would the other hesitate like that, why else would that bastard sound so broken, so soft, so sad.. he knows some of the thoughts that haunt his best friend's mind, even if he doesn't know all of them. After all they've gone through back home, after the years of him not celebrating his birthday at all, all of this must be foreign by now.
But that's exactly why it's important. It's why this has to happen. Especially in this weird place, to give Nam Soon something normal, to give him some small reassurement that it's alright, that they're at least together. (Because all of their stupid struggles back home seem nothing compared to what they have to deal with in this place.)
Shrugging the dinosaur off his lap for a moment, he slowly gets up, moving around the table to - at first wordlessly - sit down next to the other. He's practically pressed against Nam Soon's side, as if he's literally giving the other the physical reassurement and support. That he's here, that he'll keep being right here.
That he's not going anywhere, regardless of what Nam Soon might think of what he deserves or doesn't. ]
Don't mention it. It's embarrassing. [ His voice is a little softer than usually though. ]
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[he can't help himself; a reaction like that is just automatic. even though it's spoken in a tone that's far less abrasive and chiding than he'd normally go for, the words come out without any thought at all.
it's hard to help, especially when everything feels so overwhelming. he's touched, but embarrassed, and heung soo moving to sit next to him adds to that feeling, though at the same time makes him relax a little. he understands what the implication is—nam soon understands everything heung soo is saying without a single word. the silent reassurance that he's not leaving, and that something as dumb and simple as his birthday shouldn't be forgotten. it's true, that nam soon doesn't feel he's deserving of it, but he also knows that heung soo never gave a shit about that anyway.
maybe that overwhelming feeling comes partially from the unconditional way heung soo manages to always be there, even when nam soon thinks he isn't. their reconciliation truly brought that upon them like it used to be, perhaps even more so after facing so many hardships without that support at all. and maybe it's foolish to feel overwhelmed when nam soon also knows he would do the same thing for heung soo without question. or maybe it just serves to prove that nam soon is a lot more messed up than he cares to admit. heung soo is definitely not the only one here who is embarrassed, if nothing else.
the duck seems to know when to quit being nosy at least, scrambling to get off of nam soon's lap and sit next to the dinosaur, leaving them to watch in awe as these two bastards (sort of) cozy up to one another. it's a bit miraculous that nam soon actually manages to keep his composure a lot better than he may have six months ago (and more so compared to when they were kids). he does sniff a little, but there aren't any tears; his hand his a little steadier now too as he finally loads the spoon up with that soup.
funny, how heung soo can have this sort of affect on him—annoying bastard. his head is swirling with all of these thoughts and feelings as he takes the first spoonful of soup; the first he's had in over three years now.]
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No one has ever told him to do anything. No one told him to take care of Nam Soon. Sure, they were best friends, but by the time everything started to spiral out of control the two of them were still so young - how could they expect a child to look after Nam Soon? No one ever asked him to do anything, let alone Nam Soon himself, who actively tried to push away that help half of the time (even at the times when Heung Soo himself could see by the time he was a little older, knew that Nam Soon wanted it even as he was pushing it away).
No one told him to do this stuff, but he can't help himself. What else is he supposed to do? Was he supposed to abandon Nam Soon in that empty house with all his sadness and frustration? Was he supposed to let Tsunami have free reign and end up in jail, the record forever dragging his life down? Was he supposed to not grow close to Nam Soon again (that one he tried to stop, at least) once they met again at Seungri High?
Is not not supposed to do at least this much when they share body warmth constantly, when they tangle each other up in bed at night against the winter's cold? If they've already gone far enough that they've kissed, then he ought to at least do this much for this bastard.
It's almost natural.
He just lets the other eat, knowing he doesn't have to say anything about it out loud. Nam Soon gets it just as well as he does, even if it's covered up by their superificial bickering as usually. ]
Aish.. then why am I the one feeling more embarrassed, you bastard?
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[he spits the words back pretty naturally, squinting his eyes a bit and pursing his lips incredulously before taking another spoonful of the soup. it sounds kind of ridiculous in that way, but where's the lie?
getting up early to cook had never been a thing for either of them. throwing the rice cooker on a timer for the morning was usually about as far as it stretched, and when it came to cooking—well, heung soo made ramen well, but that was usually about as far as it stretch up until recently. getting up so early, making seaweed soup—it's the sort of thing that goes above and beyond, even for them.
not that nam soon isn't going to do exactly the same come april 12th. maybe heung soo knows that despite the fact that he's not going to say a damn thing himself. but even if that's part of his own future plans, he still doesn't really have much of a good coping mechanism for what's happening right then, in the moment. and maybe that's why despite his words, he's still slowly eating his soup and leaning his shoulder against heung soo. it's a strange kind of support to rely on, probably, but nam soon doesn't seem to care. times like this, even with the embarrassment they both share, heung soo radiates a comforting sort of warmth that nam soon wants to bask himself in. nobody else in the world—in any world—is capable of providing that sort of feeling for him.
and despite reassurances, years of reassurances separated by his own insecurities, he always has a latent fear that one day, it's going to slip through his fingers and disappear. especially here; somehow, it's even scarier here, when people can disappear silently in the night without a trace.
if he's going to acknowledge his birthday and getting older, he wants it to be with a stream of silent assurance from heung soo, despite the fact that he never utters a single word to imply such a thing.]
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But taking care of Nam Soon, isn't that plenty like him? At first they had been a little more equal as friends, especially when they were much younger, but when Nam Soon started to steer off the tracks so far while Heung Soo didn't, it was only natural that he started to at least drag his best friend back to the right tracks a little bit, or at least kept him from straying too far.
So even if he has to do something for it that's not like him.. the action in itself isn't all that weird for what Nam Soon is used to from him, he thinks. Even if it's a little embarrassing.
But the warmth of Nam Soon resting against his shoulder is nice and familiar, moreso than anything else in this place. It's reassuring too, more than anything else..
He doesn't want to move for a while more. ]
You can just make it up to me later.
[ Heung Soo doesn't even mean Nam Soon having to do the same for him in return on his birthday, really - it's more a joke than anything else, something to keep the situation light. ]
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[even though nam soon says that in some way that could imply disappointment, it's really nothing of the sort at all. he knows all too well that heung soo is the kind of bastard who has to shift the tone into something light and teasing, and really... well, nam soon is content to play along.
that's the way they've always been, after all. both so emotionally stunted by the things that have happened to them in the past, it's only natural that when they start to get a little too serious or emotional, that they deflect things a bit. it's good, because nam soon is better off not thinking about how undeserving he is of this sort of kindness, even if heung soo is his best friend and someone that won't let him be alone at any costs, even if it's just in terms of things as small as birthdays. it's something that even now, even after quite a while, he's getting used to having in his life again.
it's not a bad thing by any means, of course. even if they go through periods of being embarrassed and flustered, and even if they don't always know what to do because of the way their feelings grow and shift with time. it's fine, it's good. it's not always comfortable, but it's still very warm and it makes nam soon feel things he thought he'd never be able to, because he closed his heart off to anything but sadness and loneliness the night he ran away. so this? it's nice. leaning comfortably against heung soo, even though it makes his heart race a little, there's still the barest upward curve of his lips as his composure slowly returns. he's grateful. he's thankful. even if maybe, part of him wonders what his mom would think of this display on today of all days, he can't take it for granted at all.]
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It's fine like this, just sitting here and listening to Nam Soon eating his soup. It's calm and relaxing. Especially by the standards of this place, where anything at all can happen, where they have to spend time with one of them being unable to see the other, with constant danger, with their minds being twisted and making them do stuff they normally wouldn't be as easily inclined to do.
They need to take quiet moments like this with each other to calm down again, to realise that they still have each other and some good and near-normal moments in the middle of all of it.
Even if it means they're being watched by an utterly fascinated duck and dinosaur, but Heung Soo will take that much.
It's after minutes that feel like they stretched out to hours that he speaks up again. ]
.. Nam Soon-ah.
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it's quiet and peaceful, yes, but it's also strangely intimate in its way. it may not involve anything explicit, not by a long shot, but for the two of them, who are both so emotionally stunted and scarred by the past... even just sitting together closely and comfortably in this way has that sort of feeling to it. it's as warm as the soup is, even while it's completely silent.
honestly, when heung soo speaks up again, he's not even sure what to expect. it doesn't seem to him like there's much to be said, or that needs to be said at all. the comfortable quiet had been fine, and at times like this, heung soo would only say something if there was some kind of reason for it.]
Yeah? [his response is quiet and subdued, more of an acknowledgement that heung soo is speaking than anything else.]
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Properly celebrate your birthdays from now on.
[ It's sort of an odd request, but it's not really what it seems, anyway. He does mean what he's saying, but Heung Soo means it in a bigger sense. Don't withdraw like that again, don't pretend like there aren't things in life worth celebrating even in the smallest of ways - don't lock him out all over again, until it had grown so bad that the tables were flipped and Heung Soo instead tried his damnest to lock Nam Soon out instead.
Let's not go back to that. Let's keep staying like we are now from this point on..
It's that sort of thing. ]
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[he responds softly, quietly, because nam soon knows why that request is being made. maybe if someone else had heard it, they wouldn't know or understand the subtle implication of a request like that. they wouldn't know that's a request to keep moving forward, to put those three miserable years behind them. it's a request for him to start living like a person again, and even though that's been a difficult adjustment to try and make over the last few months... he's trying.
he's trying, and he wants to try for heung soo's sake. part of that may be his selfish desire to not be alone anymore, or to not lose heung soo like he did in the past. but more of it is wanting to be that much better because it's what heung soo wants. they may not really ever be able to go back to way things used to be in precise way, but they need to move forward like this; nam soon knows he needs to be a little better in order for that to happen. and on a day like this, where heung soo is putting in such a strong effort while also being a supporting shoulder and source of encouragement...
well, why wouldn't he want to try?]
It's not like you'd let me forget, anyway. [his teasing is subtle and just as quiet, coming with a bit of a nudge as he finishes the last spoonful of soup in his bowl.]
You should eat.
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And while he's entirely aware of the fact that Nam Soon is right about his own breakfast, he instead finds himself clicking his tongue. ]
I don't think I can stand even turning on the rice cooker after all this. [ These were way too many kitchen shenanigans for a boy who sucks at doing pretty much anything in the kitchen, okay. Not that he minds putting in this effort for his best friend at all, especially not since it goes a long way, but.. Geez. ]
I'll eat later.
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[okay, so nam soon knows that it really has nothing at all to do with laziness and everything to do with the fact that he busted his ass at the crack of dawn to make soup... but he can't help himself. their relationship is entirely built on being able to make remarks like that comfortably, and now is no exception.]
All that, and you're going to make me get up to turn on the rice cooker. [he shifts a little, aiming to get up—not that he really wants to, since this is a really comfortable position to be in, but he'll do what he has to. he doesn't really want heung soo to wait on breakfast when he's already been up for this long. them running out the door with barely any time to shove rice in their mouths may be something of a norm, but on a day like this, how can he expect this bastard to do that, or even wait. he can't be the only one who's eaten.
...heung soo may be a mother hen all the time, but when when it comes to him, nam soon can be just that way too. you're supposed to eat well, you bastard.]
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Instead he moves just enough so it won't upset their balance if Nam Soon stands up, but not further than that like he's going to get up instead. He could take care of himself, yes, and he doesn't really want to make Nam Soon do the work on his birthday, but.. well, he's not going to do it instead when the other is already getting up. It's something about their mutual pride. Something like that.
So instead he just glances at the other. ]
Is it so difficult? Even they could do it. [ Heung Soo gestures towards the dinosaur and the duck still sitting there. ]
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[nam soon clicks his tongue in annoyance once again, but it's not as if he's really annoyed at all by it. truthfully, even if it is is birthday, heung soo takes precedence. always. his well-being is most important, and if that means sacrificing his comfort or laziness for a few minutes to tend to it, then he will. it's the least he can do after all that's happened in the past, especially when what nam soon wants more than anything else in the world is for heung soo to be happy and live well.
...which, of course, also means being well fed enough and having his own damn breakfast. it's really not the point at all that their tiny robot animals could have enough smarts to turn on the rice cooker, it's about heung soo being a lazy enough bastard to not want to get up himself and do it for one reason or another. and maybe that's why as nam soon pulls himself up from the floor, he gives heung soo a light kick in the side. it's definitely not enough to actually hurt him, but it's still enough of a nudge to be irritating as he makes his way across the room to turn on the rice cooker and put some rice and water in it.] Our Heung Soo-yah is so hopeless...
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And this situation definitely isn't shitty. It'd be a little normal by most people's standards, just eating breakfast together without having to rush out of the door while doing so, but Heung Soo likes normal. He likes just existing with Nam Soon like this, just going through the normal things in life together - just that is enough. Even if it means surpressing thoughts of his sister when he sees Nam Soon moving to make breakfast like that, when he speaks those words. ]
Look at the punk who's saying that. [ Let's be real, neither of them are exactly poster children for good life decisions. ] If you learn to remember your birthday, then maybe I'll give you the right to complain at me.
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[he says it with a casual tone, not really thinking all that much of it. to nam soon, it's a simple truth—he didn't really have a reason to remember his birthday specifically beyond a passing thought. it wasn't anything to celebrate or make note of, there was nobody to share it with or remind him of it.
maybe from here on out, he won't forget. but as it stands, he stands by the notion that it's not so strange for him to forget. of course, he's grateful—happy, even—that heung soo remembers and goes this far for his sake. but still, it's a lot to get used to, and it definitely makes him feel a bit on the awkward side. it's a level of care and affection he's still not adjusted to after being alone, which is why it remains easier to deflect it. instead, he's just standing, hovering over the rice cooker as if that will make the process go faster.
(it won't, and he knows it, but this is awkward.)] You don't have to make a big deal out of it, you dumb bastard.
[even if he doesn't really mind at all. what is coping.]
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[ Sure, he won't deny (although not verbally) that he's making a big deal out of it too. But it's just.. he doesn't want to hear that carelessness in Nam Soon's tone. How he can say that so casually, like it doesn't matter whether he celebrates his birthday or not. It's just part of living well, and it's part of care, and those are the things he doesn't ever want this bastard to have to go without anymore.
But Nam Soon is making a big deal out of it too by shrugging it off so heavily. Then again, that's sort of just what they do, huh? ]
Look at this punk. You have a reason now, so don't whine.
[ Said reason being that Heung Soo is never going to let him forget. Ever.
He's looking at Nam Soon, even though the CYBuddies have spotted their chance for some attention now the two of them aren't sitting next to each other anymore and are currently trying to climb into the guy's lap, struggling to get space for the both of them. ]
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[he clicks his tongue a little in pseudo-annoyance; all he's really doing though is conceding to the fact that it's an argument he'll never a win (a fact nam soon already knows). sure, he can contest it for days, weeks, or months, but it'll never change the fact that a meddlesome bastard like heung soo orchestrated this perfectly so that he'd have no good reason to protest.
(not that it's all that bad—having heung soo care for him enough to go through this kind of effort, even if he sucks at admitting it verbally.)
but nam soon allows things to fall into a comfortable state of silence while the rice cooks, idly tapping the spoon against the machine. it's nice, he thinks, that they can exist in this way, with no words needed but leaving a sense of warmth in the air. there are a lot of thoughts—some idle, some more tiring—that float through his mind until the rice is ready. and when the cooker beeps, he scoops some into a bowl and turns to come back to his comfortable spot next to heung soo.
...only to be greeted by the sight of the CYBuddies having taken residence in his lap.]
Yah... [of course, it's directed at them and not heung soo.] I get up for a couple of minutes, and they're doing this already...
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And to be honest, Heung Soo doesn't even look all that annoyed, per se.. he's gotten used to the shenanigans of these things. And it's a lot easier to deal with than people, particularly the people here, that's for sure. ]
They're energetic. [ But Nam Soon already knows as much too. How often haven't these two caused messes by now?
He grabs the bowl from the other. ]
Thanks. [ It's genuine, really, but there's probably a vague hint of gloating-like teasing in it. Hey, he got Nam Soon to do this for him, that's an accomplishment, okay. ]
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[listen, okay. it's still way too early for them to be running around with this much energy, being mischievous and seeking attention.
...or maybe nam soon is just a selfish little child when he wants to be, and he wants heung soo's attention to be undivided right now. and with the bowl of rice out of his hands now (and perhaps a bit of a snide expression at that teasing) before he pops back down...
—and of course, purposely bumps into heung soo with a little bit of force. who's gonna be a dumb child about this? nam soon, of course.]
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So much so that it's hard to not fall back into old patterns, and he grins at the other in return to the bump, turning his head to make sure Nam Soon can see as he moves to shove the first rice into his own mouth. ]
It's almost as if you want something. [ Well, duh. Even Heung Soo recognizes these signs - or maybe especially Heung Soo. Doesn't mean he can't make Nam Soon's life a little harder over it. ]
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[seriously, this bastard!! nam soon knows that he's doing this on purpose (because when has that ever not happened, and obviously, he doesn't really want heung soo to choke. but seriously, this bastard is so obnoxious at times like this.
how he can go from being a total mom, getting up at the crack of dawn to cook seaweed soup to a smug little shit in seconds... well, it's impressive, even if it's fully expected at this point. it's frustrating, but also endearing in its way, even if nam soon is, of course, going to be a childish shit about it and not actually say what it is he wants. not that he really has to—he knows heung soo already knows, after all.]
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Swallowing the bite, he shakes his head a little. ]
You really worry too much, you bastard. [ As if Heung Soo would ever want to give more attention to anyone other than Nam Soon.. that guy is the most important person in his life, and he doubts that's going to change anytime soon. If he couldn't forget about him even during that gap of years.. well, then how could he ever actually forget about him? ]
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[it's the same song and dance every time. how many times have they had a conversation that's been led down this exact path? a conversation so base probably shouldn't feel like a comfortable norm, but nam soon is quick to embrace the banter.
of course he worries. it's a different sort of worry, since nam soon's are based in years of insecurities and feelings of guilt for the wrongs he committed against his best friend. even now, when they've reconciled and gone far beyond just being civil, or even just being best friends, it's a feeling that's near-impossible for him to shake. it haunts him to his core, because there's no way for him to change the past. there's always a lingering wonder of when the other shoe will drop, no matter how well things go these days. it's something he tries to bury, cover up and hope heung soo won't focus on, because that bastard is meddlesome and worries—and it's something he doesn't want to be a burden about.
and that's exactly why he covers it up with this sort of banter, and why he nudges and prods, and makes faces that indicate some sort of faux sense of distaste.]
Aigoo, you really are going to choke on your rice, you dumbass.
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But one way or another, apparently Heung Soo has decided to make things even a little bit lighter. When Nam Soon says he's going to choke he looks half offended for a moment before swallowing his current bite, picking up more with his chopsticks..
.. except instead of eating that, he's just shoving it straight at the other's mouth, trying to force it into there. ]
Maybe it's since you made it wrong, huh? [ No matter that you can hardly mess up making rice... ] Want to try and see?
[ Nudge nudge. He'll flip you over to feed you if he has to, don't challenge him on this one. ]
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[not that nam soon's initial refusal matters, because he's now getting a mouth full of rice regardless of what he actually wants. so naturally, he grimaces as he chews—seriously, this bastard!
granted, it's good for keeping the mood a lot lighter, especially given the fact that it doesn't really take all that much for nam soon to begin spiraling into something of a dark place. but really, he probably could have done without having the rice shoved directly in his mouth like that.]
If anyone is making rice wrong, it's this coddled bastard. [he nudges back. nam soon's been making rice all by himself for years. well, there's that and the fact that it's really hard to mess up rice... in a rice cooker... but it's more fun to tease heung soo about his lack of prowess in the kitchen for much beyond ramen (even if nam soon himself isn't all that much better).]
Go eat some of your own soup. [it's not bad, despite the retort.]
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It's why he probably looks awkward for a split second since he can't think of a good comeback..
.. although that'd just be the surface level reason. The real reason is more just that he's worried the soup tasted terrible now. He knows he's not good, but he did really try his best since it was Nam Soon's birthday soup, after all..
But he can't voice that worry out loud. It's bastard code. So instead he just grumbles in return, since obviously that's more productive communication. ]
Is it that much of a chore to eat it, you bastard?
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[there goes nam soon, not really helping the situation at all. but he's purposeful in his choice of words, because the truth of the matter is that it's far from a chore at all.
seriously, why would this bastard even think that's a chore? he better not take it seriously, especially not after the conversation they had just a little while ago as a result. heung soo's word choice and reaction show enough to nam soon that it's something that worries him; it doesn't need to be voiced directy. he knows what his best friend is always thinking at times like this, after all. it's a two way street, the way these things work. so once again, he nudges lightly, but instead of pulling away, he keeps his shoulder gently pressed against heung soo's arm.
it's a quiet, subtle gesture, but not one that nam soon would do without reason. granted, the fact that he's not very good at conveying his feelings means it's a shot in the dark that his point will get across, despite his harsher words—but that's just the way nam soon is, right? definitely not a paragon of good communication, which is why they're two peas in a pod right now.]
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All the way until he finishes, putting the empty bowl down but not moving from the spot he's sitting at. ]
Next time I'll make sure to drop the pot so you can sleep even less.
[ .. yeah, that's playful enough. Maybe not in tone, but the content of the words at least make it obvious enough that he's not too fussy about it anymore. Nam Soon might be hard to understand to some people, but Heung Soo of all people can at least read him enough to get the situation here. ]
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though he probably shouldn't be surprised by that, not when heung soo is the only one who always gets it.]
Aigoo, our Heung Soo-yah will throw a temper tantrum... [he ribs a little, letting out a laugh. now that the air is definitely clear of any misunderstandings, it's fair game to just be an asshole, right? right. we'll go with that.]