[even though nam soon says that in some way that could imply disappointment, it's really nothing of the sort at all. he knows all too well that heung soo is the kind of bastard who has to shift the tone into something light and teasing, and really... well, nam soon is content to play along.
that's the way they've always been, after all. both so emotionally stunted by the things that have happened to them in the past, it's only natural that when they start to get a little too serious or emotional, that they deflect things a bit. it's good, because nam soon is better off not thinking about how undeserving he is of this sort of kindness, even if heung soo is his best friend and someone that won't let him be alone at any costs, even if it's just in terms of things as small as birthdays. it's something that even now, even after quite a while, he's getting used to having in his life again.
it's not a bad thing by any means, of course. even if they go through periods of being embarrassed and flustered, and even if they don't always know what to do because of the way their feelings grow and shift with time. it's fine, it's good. it's not always comfortable, but it's still very warm and it makes nam soon feel things he thought he'd never be able to, because he closed his heart off to anything but sadness and loneliness the night he ran away. so this? it's nice. leaning comfortably against heung soo, even though it makes his heart race a little, there's still the barest upward curve of his lips as his composure slowly returns. he's grateful. he's thankful. even if maybe, part of him wonders what his mom would think of this display on today of all days, he can't take it for granted at all.]
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[even though nam soon says that in some way that could imply disappointment, it's really nothing of the sort at all. he knows all too well that heung soo is the kind of bastard who has to shift the tone into something light and teasing, and really... well, nam soon is content to play along.
that's the way they've always been, after all. both so emotionally stunted by the things that have happened to them in the past, it's only natural that when they start to get a little too serious or emotional, that they deflect things a bit. it's good, because nam soon is better off not thinking about how undeserving he is of this sort of kindness, even if heung soo is his best friend and someone that won't let him be alone at any costs, even if it's just in terms of things as small as birthdays. it's something that even now, even after quite a while, he's getting used to having in his life again.
it's not a bad thing by any means, of course. even if they go through periods of being embarrassed and flustered, and even if they don't always know what to do because of the way their feelings grow and shift with time. it's fine, it's good. it's not always comfortable, but it's still very warm and it makes nam soon feel things he thought he'd never be able to, because he closed his heart off to anything but sadness and loneliness the night he ran away. so this? it's nice. leaning comfortably against heung soo, even though it makes his heart race a little, there's still the barest upward curve of his lips as his composure slowly returns. he's grateful. he's thankful. even if maybe, part of him wonders what his mom would think of this display on today of all days, he can't take it for granted at all.]