« 005 ⇢ event005.exe »

[reparator]

Who: CERES & you
When: IC: 10/04 | OOC: 11/15
Where: ViViD & McCERES
What: Intro Log
Rating/Warning: PG-13 | slightly nsfw

//event005.EXE Learning is Fundamental! Let's play CERESLearn ViViD's usual worlds are unfortunately down for maintenance. While CERES' programmers work on getting it back up and running, all new entrees this round will be going through a different level than usual. Only a single world is accessible at the moment, a simple one entitled 'CERESLearn.' "What the $%@& is this?" you must be thinking. Well, it's simple! It's a study program, of course! CERES' advanced AI technology is here to make sure you learn and that you learn sexily. Whether or not you pay attention to the actual content is up to you, the player. Please enjoy it while it lasts. They're here to teach you a variety of subjects and also to make you feel vaguely uncomfortable all over. New arrivals and those logging into ViViD will first find themselves in a classroom with a new operator greeting them rather than Vidia. "Greetings and welcome to Cerealia! It's nice of you to join us at last. As you can see, we're just about to get started! Here are the instructions: ♥ Choose your subject of choice. They include things like medicine, math, CERES economics, CERES history, fun facts about Julius, engineering, and science! ♥ Choose your tutor. You can hire Astor, Hilda, or UN-Zippy ♥ They'll teach you slowly, deliberately, sensually. Then after that, they'll drill you hard and without stopping. ♥ Just when you think you've had enough, they'll quiz you all over until you're sweating and panting. ♥ For those of you who pass, you'll be welcomed well into Cerealia and be given a free voucher for a McCERES Mildly Content meal. Please enjoy!"

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ xxxx ] Once you choose your lesson and your tutor, you will be transported to a classroom where you and a few other players who decide to choose the same lesson will sit with your tutor after school, getting knowledge taught to you by someone who seems more intent on learning what's under your clothes than filling your head with knowledge. They will be awkwardly stretching, dropping pencils by 'accident' on the floor, and bending down slowly to pick them up. Certain things might be spilling out of their clothes. Awkward things. They will breathe down your neck and make sure you are well-versed in their anatomy by the end of the lesson. Fortunately, it won't last long as their bodies start to flicker erratically. PHASE II [ xxxx ] Just as things begin to escalate, the flickering will grow intense until your tutor will start to morph before your eyes. What takes their place is something that is anything but friendly. And yes, it will continue to breathe down your neck and speak in a sweet, soft, alluring voice while reaching out with its 'hands' to try and touch you. This will be your cue to run through the halls of the school while That Thing chases you in every single direction imaginable. There will be others joining you as everyone starts bolting out of their classrooms. PHASE III [ xxxx ] Feeling tired already? Well, don't stop and rest now! For those who successfully murder their own tutor, they will get their food voucher and a lovely welcome into CERES. You've officially passed! Everyone will be allowed to mingle around the game room in the CERES Research Tower before being directed into McCERES just across the street. For those who were already in the colony, you will also receive a voucher and directions to McCERES at the end of the game in case you want to go meet up with the newcomers there or just eat some artery-killing fast food. PHASE IV [ xxxx ] For those who get eaten by That Thing or don't pass their quizzes and upset their tutors, they will be forced to endure the Price of Failure. This means being sent to the gym with the other 'failures' to endure a painfully slow and erotic striptease by UN-Zippy. Once that is over, they will then be logged out and allowed to have their complimentary McCERES voucher. BONUS [ whyo'clock ] Congratulations on surviving CERESLearn! Here's your complimentary voucher for a free Mildly Content Meal at McCERES. This month's special is also the McKnight Burger. Characters are immediately invited to take a load off and enjoy some good ol' fashion fast food of questionable origin. Those who decide to order and eat here will also get a special toy included inside their Mildly Content Meals. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's latest intro post. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's usual arrival experience (which is not entirely applicable this round for reasons stated above^) and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[harepiece]

Like a horse?

[VICTORIAN HELL HAS DEPRIVED HIM, INDEED. The only other thing that comes to mind is one of those rides he had seen at the amusement park, but those also come with Bad Memories, so he's hoping this is closer to a horse...

But OOPS, right, introductions—] I'm Oz! It's nice to meet you, Yata.

[rollin]

No!

[ He's squinting so hard. Look Yata in the eye and tell him he's a horseback rider. ]

Oz, if you're gonna learn about the twenty-first century, we gotta take things slow. After I show you how to work a microwave, I'm gonna move you up to pressure cookers. [ So he's not teaching him chronologically, but by level of difficulty...? ] Before holograms, TVs! Hey, did they have bikes back then?

[harepiece]

[yata you can be anything your parkour heart desires...]

A what? That sounds dangerous. [Pressure cookers, that is, but Oz also seems totally intrigued. READY TO LEARN ABOUT THE FUTURE, it is him, he is ready.

He pulls back for a second to take an extra close look down a hall where he thought he had seen movement, but when nothing comes up:] I think I've heard of TVs before... That's the thing where you can watch shows like a play, right? [As for bikes, that gets another headshake and a:] I know what those are too, though.

[Jamjars are so useful!!]

[rollin]

[ Meanwhile, Yata is oblivious to his surroundings. It's partly because he's so confident he can dodge whatever comes their way, but mostly because he wants to talk to Oz and make himself sound a little smarter than he actually is. Of course, when that seems to be backfiring, he squints. ]

Hey. How come you know what those things are? You think you're some kinda genius, aah?

[ no stop ]

[harepiece]

[YATA... Pay more attention to the halls and less attention to the fact that there isn't much of an opportunity to impress a nerd!! That said, he'll look a little surprised by the accusation, head canting to the side.]

No, but before I came here I was in another place, and there was a nation and some people who could use magic to change their clothing and a lady who carried guitars around for a living and she told me a lot about music videos and movies and TVs, but the bikes happened later when we were trying to figure out how to leave!

[That sure was one big run-on sentence...]

[rollin]

[ What? It's Yata's turn to be confused. Of course there's a nation, why wouldn't he not be in a nation? Magic—he's talking about a Strain that can change their clothing, right? Wait, what kind of job requires you to carry guitars... Why was he trying to leave!? ]

... It's not any of my business, but what kinda shit didja haveta go through to deserve this, oi?

[ Was that a bug creature just now, though? It was in the classroom they passed by... Or was it their imagination? Whatever it is, Yata hasn't seen it. ]

[harepiece]

[LIFE IS CONFUSING and Oz doesn't know how to explain any of that without mentioning the deathpark part of it, nor does he really know how to answer that question. ...Or rather, any answer that he might give is just plain depressing, so:]

I'm not really sure, either... [Another mystery...

THAT SAID, he totally thinks he saw a bug?! BUG. He'll break off from their conversation long enough to take a couple of steps back and peer into the room...]

[rollin]

[ ...to find that it's gone. For now, at least; the windows are smashed open, but the sound from the room was too quiet for it to have happened a moment ago. ]

Hm? [ Yata walks backwards to try and peek into the room by craning his neck. ] Hey, you find something?

[harepiece]

[OH... That's probably a bad sign, whoops. Oz freezes on the spot for a second before reaching out to tug at the hem of Yata's sleeve.]

—I thought I saw something... But we should pick up the pace a little, anyway. [Who's being paranoid, not Oz!!]

[rollin]

Yeah, don't worry. We're almost there!

[ It's two classrooms ahead, and when they finally arrive, Yata puts his hand on the doorknob and twists it, looking behind him to talk to Oz. ]

Skateboards are really cool, I should show you sometime...

[ That sure is a bug breathing at the door, though... ]

[harepiece]

[Oh what's that about cool skateboards, OZ HEARD NONE OF IT. He's too busy staring up at the bug that is surely like .5 seconds away from eating Yata's head or something...

HE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT. He grabs Yata's arm and pulls him back with a loud yell, stumbling a little in his haste.]

Hilda—!!

[Hilda.]

[rollin]

Woah!

[ He's pulled back to the opposite side of the hall and wonders what pissed in Oz's cereal this morning until he spots the creature in front of them and realizes that oh, that makes sense.

Shit. By instinct, he holds a hand out to shield Oz again. ]

That's not Hilda anymore!

[ Bug-Hilda doesn't move just yet. She swings the door open all the way and lingers around the entrance, sizing up her prey until she lets out a loud cry and snaps her teeth at them. ]

Ugh... I liked you more when you were actually hot. [ Yata now is not the time. ]

[harepiece]

[Protecting him without even being asked, senpai is so cool...!!

Until he makes that remark, god. It's a good thing Oz is too distracted by the fact that they may both be eaten soon to scold him.]

Whatever it is, let's not be near it!

[TIME TO FLY... He's not waiting for Bughilda to start pursuing them faster, turning to bolt while still keeping hold of Yata's arm. Which maybe he shouldn't be doing, considering his grand plan here-]

I'll lead it toward the end of the hall—! [And then they'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER.]

[rollin]

[ Being a shounen protag is his dream...! But in the end, he's just an otome game character. Don't let your sister date this guy. Anyway, this is the opposite of smashing it with a hammer. This is turning the bug into a llama. What is this plan? WHY IS OZ TAKING YATA DOWN WITH HIM... He pulls his arm back to stop Oz from leading them to certain doom. ]

Are you tryna corner it or get us killed!?

[harepiece]

[Oz will try valiantly to pull him along anyway...]

We don't need to corner it! We just need to make sure no one else can be cornered!!

[THIS IS YOUR FIRST LESSON IN SHONEN PROTAGONISM, YATA. When in doubt, always go with the plan that seems the most potentially dangerous!!

Though there is actually a method to Oz's madness here, since cornering the bug would be impossible since they left first and leading it down a corridor that isn't a dead end ups the chances of someone innocent wandering by behind it when he decides to summon his slapchop again...]

[rollin]

[ Oz, you are a genius... in Yata's eyes. It sounds so stupid, but Oz's altruism moves him. Besides, Yata can protect Oz if anything happens. If he dies now... ]

If I die now, I'm so gonna fucking haunt you!

[ Which is to say he's rolling with it until they reach the end of the hall. ]

[harepiece]

[IT IS STUPID so it's a good thing that Oz has his altruism...]

No one's going to die!! [Except Bug 3, probably...

That said, once they get to the end of the hall, Oz will finally let Yata's arm go and whip around. At about the same time, a volley of thick chains rocket from one end of the hall to the other, effectively creating a blockade just in case someone does walk by. Bughilda is now successfully detained in a relatively small area! IE surprise, he still has more Weird Shonen Powers™!!

That lasts for all of like .5 seconds though, because once that safety measure is in place, another round of chains will skewer said bug before vanishing, leaving holes in the walls and a gross carcass behind. He's gonna get arrested for property damage...]

[rollin]

[ It's okay, Yata's been committing that crime for the past four years and he's never landed himself in jail! He'll teach you how to avoid the law through violence and sheer intimidation, Oz...

But first, let him deal with the immediate aftermath. Yata's eyes are wide and in shock as he watches this strange shounen spectacle. Oz, you've done it again! Only in addition to being dumbfounded in awe, Yata finds himself trembling in fear. ]

H-Hey... [ His voice is shaking. ] It's really none of my business, but—but you're the Grim Reaper, aren't you?

[harepiece]

[Become his senpai in the art of being a dang hooligan, Yata... teach him how to skateboard and wear a beanie too...

BUT MORE SERIOUSLY, even though Oz smiles almost immediately, Yata's reaction is something that's upsetting regardless. It's not an unexpected one, but the last thing he wants to do is inspire fear. He shakes his head.]

—No, I'm... [A beat; he shifts where he stands and glances over his shoulder.] I'm not. Don't worry! I'm sorry that I didn't have time to give you more of a warning, though.

[rollin]

[ The smile reassures Yata immediately. This kid, the spawn of Satan? Of course not! He feels silly for even thinking that. Relieved that Oz isn't any sort of threat to his well-being, he loosens up and shrugs his worries off, placing a hand on his hip. ]

Don't scare me like that! Jeez. If you got any more stupid plans, run 'em by me first. Aight? [ It doesn't look like he's that mad as he extends his fist towards him. Put it there, man. ] But nice going, kid.

[harepiece]

[OF COURSE NOT, INDEED... Oz is immediately reassured by Yata's reassurance, though. The laugh that follows expels most of his nervous tension.]

I will. I just had to think quickly... [But then he's staring at Yata's fist like ??? what is this here for?? Why. What is he expecting... What is this mysterious gesture and how does he meet it this is a struggle.]

...Thanks!

[Eventually he just mimics the gesture with his own fist, too. That's it. No reciprocal fistbumping, just sticking his hand out like they're both rebel characters from Les Mis on the lonely barricade at dawn.]

[rollin]

[ No, stop. There may be empty chairs at empty tables out in the hallway but this is not what is supposed to happen. After deadeyeing Oz for a second, Yata grabs his new friend's wrist to bump his fist with Yata's own. ]

This is called a fistbump.

It means we cool.

[harepiece]

[HE'S LEARNING SO MUCH ALREADY.]

Oh! [Looking at his fist before he drops it like he is So Proud.] I see... It looks like I still have a long way to go with these things. The future really is different, isn't it?

[That said, he'll start stepping around the gross blood splatters to get out of the dead end... BACK TO THE CLASSROOM. Offhandedly on his way over:]

—Why are we cool, though? [He actually feels reasonably warm...]

[rollin]

[ Yata laughs and shakes his head like Oz... you must be new... ]

No, I mean, it's cool. I ain't mad. You know what I'm saying? [ Try to keep up. ] We're both cool, though. You got that scythe and those chains, and I got my aura. That makes us badass!

[ Sorry if he's not making sense. The classroom door is open, so Yata will simply saunter in. His skateboard is somewhere in the front, underside up with a flame insignia and the letters HMR painted in thug font. You know the type. ]

[harepiece]

[He is Trying... Even though it's clear that Yata's already lost him again.]

So it means that you aren't mad, but it also means that we can fight well? [Or that they're badass, as he puts it, which is actually a term that Oz does know. Jamjars make for weird pockets of knowledge... That said, he'll stand by the door as Yata goes to get his skateboard, looking on curiously.]

—It really is a board. [A BOARD WITH WHEELS, BUT...]