« 005 ⇢ event005.exe »

[reparator]

Who: CERES & you
When: IC: 10/04 | OOC: 11/15
Where: ViViD & McCERES
What: Intro Log
Rating/Warning: PG-13 | slightly nsfw

//event005.EXE Learning is Fundamental! Let's play CERESLearn ViViD's usual worlds are unfortunately down for maintenance. While CERES' programmers work on getting it back up and running, all new entrees this round will be going through a different level than usual. Only a single world is accessible at the moment, a simple one entitled 'CERESLearn.' "What the $%@& is this?" you must be thinking. Well, it's simple! It's a study program, of course! CERES' advanced AI technology is here to make sure you learn and that you learn sexily. Whether or not you pay attention to the actual content is up to you, the player. Please enjoy it while it lasts. They're here to teach you a variety of subjects and also to make you feel vaguely uncomfortable all over. New arrivals and those logging into ViViD will first find themselves in a classroom with a new operator greeting them rather than Vidia. "Greetings and welcome to Cerealia! It's nice of you to join us at last. As you can see, we're just about to get started! Here are the instructions: ♥ Choose your subject of choice. They include things like medicine, math, CERES economics, CERES history, fun facts about Julius, engineering, and science! ♥ Choose your tutor. You can hire Astor, Hilda, or UN-Zippy ♥ They'll teach you slowly, deliberately, sensually. Then after that, they'll drill you hard and without stopping. ♥ Just when you think you've had enough, they'll quiz you all over until you're sweating and panting. ♥ For those of you who pass, you'll be welcomed well into Cerealia and be given a free voucher for a McCERES Mildly Content meal. Please enjoy!"

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ xxxx ] Once you choose your lesson and your tutor, you will be transported to a classroom where you and a few other players who decide to choose the same lesson will sit with your tutor after school, getting knowledge taught to you by someone who seems more intent on learning what's under your clothes than filling your head with knowledge. They will be awkwardly stretching, dropping pencils by 'accident' on the floor, and bending down slowly to pick them up. Certain things might be spilling out of their clothes. Awkward things. They will breathe down your neck and make sure you are well-versed in their anatomy by the end of the lesson. Fortunately, it won't last long as their bodies start to flicker erratically. PHASE II [ xxxx ] Just as things begin to escalate, the flickering will grow intense until your tutor will start to morph before your eyes. What takes their place is something that is anything but friendly. And yes, it will continue to breathe down your neck and speak in a sweet, soft, alluring voice while reaching out with its 'hands' to try and touch you. This will be your cue to run through the halls of the school while That Thing chases you in every single direction imaginable. There will be others joining you as everyone starts bolting out of their classrooms. PHASE III [ xxxx ] Feeling tired already? Well, don't stop and rest now! For those who successfully murder their own tutor, they will get their food voucher and a lovely welcome into CERES. You've officially passed! Everyone will be allowed to mingle around the game room in the CERES Research Tower before being directed into McCERES just across the street. For those who were already in the colony, you will also receive a voucher and directions to McCERES at the end of the game in case you want to go meet up with the newcomers there or just eat some artery-killing fast food. PHASE IV [ xxxx ] For those who get eaten by That Thing or don't pass their quizzes and upset their tutors, they will be forced to endure the Price of Failure. This means being sent to the gym with the other 'failures' to endure a painfully slow and erotic striptease by UN-Zippy. Once that is over, they will then be logged out and allowed to have their complimentary McCERES voucher. BONUS [ whyo'clock ] Congratulations on surviving CERESLearn! Here's your complimentary voucher for a free Mildly Content Meal at McCERES. This month's special is also the McKnight Burger. Characters are immediately invited to take a load off and enjoy some good ol' fashion fast food of questionable origin. Those who decide to order and eat here will also get a special toy included inside their Mildly Content Meals. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's latest intro post. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's usual arrival experience (which is not entirely applicable this round for reasons stated above^) and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[puerilely]

[ It's the only apologies Shuu is ever going to get from Kaoru, let's be real here. Might as well treasure them while they're still a thing.

Especially since their near-family bond of shithattery has not been found out.. yet.. neither of them better look on the network later and find out the other's last name, huh..

But for now Shuu is just thinking about this question Kaoru is asking him since clearly it is very Important!! ]

Hmm.. whichever is more fun? [ Shuu Nagumo: reigning champion of the answers that don't help jack shit sport. ] I guess I don't really want to live next to a lot of humans, but I don't want to have to walk a lot to get to anything fun either.

[souredsweet]

[WELL THAT is not untrue... wow though basically, SOMEONE KEEP THEM BOTH AWAY FROM THE NAME DIRECTORY. is it sorted by last name because that would be hilarious... someone accidentally dialing shuu instead of kaoru or vice versa WHOOPS.

BUT ANYWAY, yes, important questions - ie how to keep this loser as far away from his own apartment as physically possible.]

Living next to humans is an inevitability here, I'm afraid. While there are a number of people who aren't either human or demon, the humans still outnumber most of us, I believe. [Even if half of them are like, weird humans that can shoot fire out of their feet.]

If you don't want to do much walking, what about one of the complexes near the rails?

[puerilely]

[ Humans outnumbering them, gross.. then again, that's probably supposed to be fairly normal fare - even back in his own time humans outnumber demons by a lot, it's just that demons are still a lot better at hiding out in the woods than they'll be in the future. Good job, descendants club..

But even though that fact brings a look to Shuu's face as if he just ate something really gross, he instead focuses on the last part. Even though the frown doesn't really leave his face. The five year old shitlord is displeased.. ]

.. What're "rails" supposed to be? [ STICK WITH 16TH CENTURY SPEAK, KAORU.. ]

[souredsweet]

[IT'S A SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS but thems the breaks... At least most of the humans here seem relatively benign?! Or, in Kaoru speak, easy to befriend and then use as a meatshield. Thanks, kind residents of Cerealia!!]

Oh— [GIVING HIM A LOOK like he's only just now remembering that Shuu is lookin ye olde.] ...They were unfamiliar to me too, at first. [THERE THERE NERD.]

But it's a useful way to get from place to place. They carry subway cars and trains from one location to another... Think of it as a series of carriages attached front to back, but without any animals or people needed to pull it along the tracks.

[puerilely]

[ CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE MAN.... 1600 is even worse than 1860s, at least you guys were one step closer to actual indoor plumbing rather than going to take a dump in the bushes!! ]

But if it's not people or animals carrying them, then what is? [ Congratulations, Kaoru.. you might notice Shuu is like one of those annoying kids who keeps asking BUT WHYYYYY or BUT HOOOWWW after everything you explain to him. And it doesn't help that he has even less of an idea of eletricity and.. well, pretty much any modern intervention than Kaoru or anyone else here. ]

Is someone controlling them as they go? -- Oh, I wanna do that!

[ Denied. You'd kill everyone, Shuu.. and not even give a shit.. ]

[souredsweet]

[HE IS GLAD TO BE SLIGHTLY LESS YE OLDE OKAY because for all his complaints about humans in general, indoor plumbing sure is nice... Hot showers whenever he wants! Functioning toilets! Fresh water to wash his face in the morning without having to go outside in the freezing cold to draw water from a well!! The future is a neat place...]

Ah... I don't believe that such a job is available to us, unfortunately. [Because with how Shuu's already been acting, Kaoru can tell it would be QUITE LITERALLY A TRAINWRECK... which would be hilarious... He doesn't want to inflict Shuu on himself but he would totally unleash him on the unsuspecting public.]

It runs on electricity, if I'm recalling correctly, which is the same thing powering these lights- [Pointing to some street lights and outdoor lamps] -and those signs. [Neon signs!! Open/Close signs, things like that.]

[puerilely]

[ Electricity.. he has no idea what that's supposed to be or how it's supposed to work, but sure. Humans making stuff work with this weird electricity thing. He does file it in the back of his head, but.. you know, five year old and all, so he's not fully focusing on it. Instead he's just laughing as he apparently seems to think of something-- ]

I should find out who I can ask about that.. [ "Ask" sounds more like "threaten" here, let's be real.. ] Riding one must be so cool, you could go so fast..! Everyone would have to move aside!

[ He cheerfully laughing, folding the fingers of both hands together. YES, HE'S TOTALLY IGNORING THIS ELECTRICITY TALK IN FAVOR OF CONTINUING HIS DAYDREAMING.. sorry, Kaoru, this is the shit you have to deal with. Karma coming back to bite you square in the ass. ]

[souredsweet]

[GOD here Kaoru is trying to actually help out by explaining things, and all the effort is flooding away into the sewers. What did he do to deserve this sort of karma!! (Everything, maybe......)

But Kaoru has a black belt in patience, so it's not like this is enough to cause any outward changes, even if the inward train of thought right now is currently like "maybe if I pinch his nose shut, he'll forget how to breathe".]

The carts move along tracks, so no one is in the way to move aside in the first place. [Gentle revenge by bursting Shuu's bubble!!]

But it's interesting enough, riding in them. The subway is underground so there isn't much to see, but the trains offer a pleasant view.

[puerilely]

Huuuuh?

[ Totally interested in what Kaoru is saying now! But that's only since the other is going along with his baby attention span and talking about something cool like CARS and TRAINS.. yeah!! See, as long as you keep Shuu satisfied, he's totally not dangerous at all. Just terribly, terribly annoying. ]

But are they stuck on those tracks? I mean, it'd be a whole lot more fun to just drive them anywhere! [ Like.. you know.. over people, straight into a building, laughing wildly all the while... ]

[souredsweet]

[ANNOYING IS ARGUABLY WORSE THAN DANGEROUS. In Kaoru's opinion, anyway, but we all know how mildly skewed that can be... sometimes.....

But Kaoru can at least tell the sort of direction that the conversation needs to go in to keep Shuu somewhat manageable. Not that he... hasn't been already, honestly?! Shuu's actually been (annoyances aside) very easy to handle so far. Gesturing off to the left, either way!!]

I could show you one of the stations, if you'd like to see for yourself.

[puerilely]

[ This truly is how things work with Shuu.. distract him with something only a five year old would find interesting and he'll be totally preoccupied with it, enough to not bother you.. as much, anyway..!! And these train tracks seem totally more interesting than some crossdressing demon guy who still seems to withhold a little that he wants to pry in later but won't be too easy for now.. so let's start with the easier stuff.

Like causing literal trainwrecks. Hallelujah.. ]

Really? [ ALL THIS ENTHUSIASM. His eyes are practically sparkling. ] Of course I want to see it! Maybe we can just grab one of them and drive it around!

[ Congratulations, Kaoru, you're now enlisted for this joyriding spectacle.. ]

[souredsweet]

[WELL...... Kaoru sure prefers causing literal trainwrecks to talking about himself in any capacity, especially to other demons. Screw those guys!!

He is also not very well-inclined to the whole throwing himself into dangerous situations just because someone else decided it was a good idea thing, though, and that's what this current situation is starting to reek of. It's a good thing, Kaoru thinks, that CERES trains are probably not as easy to hijack as some of the other modes of transportation available.]

Perhaps... [Says Kaoru in the way that a parent would say to their annoying dumb kid who's asking if it's possible to eat an entire building made of chocolate in one sitting.]

If you'll follow me, though - it's this way. [AND OFF, TO ADVENTURE!!] You can also use your CereVice's map if you ever wish to explore more on your own without the risk of getting lost.

[puerilely]

[ OFF, TO ADVENTURE TRULY... Shuu is actually pretty excited about this, so he's in the good five year old kind of mood.. as opposed to the temper tantrum bad one, so hey, Kaoru got the best side of the coin?!

Even though it means he'll be stuck all afternoon on a train with Shuu sulking about how he can't blow up the door to the machinist's room and hijack it... alas. This is the true duty of a babysitter.. ]