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Who: Kazama Chikage (

abovedogs) & Heisuke Toudou (

wolfthatbarkstheloudest
When: IC date?/11/16 During the Intro Log
Where: ViViD during the intro log in which Kazama and Toudou get a "very furry striptease" thanks to Heisuke's date ad.
What: Thanks to failing their tutored exams, both Heisuke and Kazama get a special treat in the form of UN-Zippy performing a striptease. Cue lots of misconceptions about the other and needling each other with verbal insults.
Rating/Warning: PG-13 unless things get violent? Because let's face it, with Kazama and Heisuke, you never know.

[ Kazama had a headache but only because first he was hit on by some dude without a shirt and then he had to deal with that thing attempting to kill him (Why do they even bother? Don't they realize yet that Kazama found it all so dreadfully senseless? At least give him a challenge... ) And then, when he attempted to log out of the game altogether, he had to take a test.

Perhaps ripping it up had not been his brightest moment because the chintzy music, the awful lighting and the robot in front of him dressed up in a furry costume was hardly inspiring. The naked tutor got more of a rise out of him then the dancing robot was doing now.

Sighing, Kazama simply sunk his head in his hands and prayed this was all over quickly. What in the world did he do to deserve this? But before he could sink too far into his own self-pity, he heard a noise and with a sudden movement, he turned to face it only to curl his lip up in disdain. ]

You. [ yes, you Heisuke. ] So I see this show was put on for your sake; couldn't you have left me out of it?

[ and, you know, forget Kazama ever had a date ad of his own or anything. If this day just kept on getting worse and worse, he was going to have to start stabbing things. ]

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[ Heisuke honestly had no idea what was going on. One minute, he was wanting to play the game, the next he was sitting in some weird room with a woman he didn't know while wearing a giant dog suit. It was bad enough that he was completely lost, but then she started bending over and nearly popping out of her clothes... and really wasn't happy when Heisuke apologized for interrupting her, but she might want to fix her shirt or find a longer skirt, and that she wouldn't have to keep picking things up if she'd stop dropping them. Add to it the sudden flickering and a lot of information he didn't care about because he was trying his hardest not to look at her, and the next thing he knew, he was running for his life from some sort of giant worm that he didn't know whether it wanted to eat him or fuck him, and he really didn't want to find out which.

Whichever it was, the thing didn't seem to fare very well against having doors slammed in its face, and eventually he'd managed to smash the legs of a chair through its face after dragging it onto a bookcase and lying in wait for the creature. Then again, given the weird dancing robot and his current companion, he'd take another one of those tutorbugs any day.

... or just the tutorbug over being stuck in a room with Kazama. At least the dancing robot wasn't trying to kill him or belittle him. ]

My sake? I don't even know what that thing is! Besides, you're the one that's the exotic dancer, [ Because that's what the date ad said, so it has to be right. ] so maybe it just wants you to join it or something!

[ just wait Heisuke until it asks you to bend over and take it like a dog! Then he might be on Kazama's side and just aim for killing the thing. But, seeing as he can't do that at this particular moment (only because to do so is to show just how much it bothered him at all), Kazama simply endured, flicking Heisuke a glance full of loathing. ]

Don't be so stupid. I'd no more join it as I would be this... dancer you mention.

[ he snorted ]

But by all means, play with him if you like. If you beg, he might just let you call him master.

[ since, you know, Heisuke's already dressed the part. ]

Oh, I get it, you'd like it better if it were crying.

[ Wow, you're a weird one, Kazama. An exotic dancer who mops floors and likes tears... Who would've thought?

He's pointedly ignoring UnZippy and instead focusing entirely on Kazama, hands on his hips and glaring up at him. The dancer doesn't look threatening, after all, so clearly it's not an issue.

It's also not hurling insults. ]

And what if I don't want to play with it? What if it's waiting for you to go figure out what hole's the right one?

I'd prefer it if he were dead. [ but Kazama is actually a little afraid this torture chamber would simply reset and begin all over again and then he'd be lost in virtual reality pergatory never to escape. These things are scary you know. ]

Oh?

And here I thought you came prepared to play. [ Kazama gestured, distaste evident on his face. ] Do you enjoy dressing up as a cur or are you merely embracing it for fact now?

That's a little harsh, don'cha think? I mean, it's not like it's trying to kill you... or hump your leg... or something...

[ The mental images his own words bring are not something he really wanted, and so the sentence dies off and he goes quiet. It doesn't last long, though, and he's right back to getting worked up by the insults. ]

Play with what? One minute I was trying to play a game and the next, there's this lady falling outta her clothes who turned in to this big ugly monster, and I didn't pick this, it's what they gave me, but it's not like you'd get it because you're only thirteen!

[ he shrugged ]

It's a machine; do you think it matters?

[ not that being human or a machine ever stopped Kazama from killing people before. It was just never worth the red tape to do it unprovoked. But he does raise a brow at Heisuke's obtuseness and casts a pointed glass towards unzippy who is currently swinging his tabard around like a drunk cowboy. ]

And I thought you were... into this kind of thing. [ the dryness in Kazama's tone is unmistakeable ] You do like taking it on all fours, do you not?

[ not that Kazama intends on taking him. ~~He's only interested in Hijikata~~ ]

[ Grrrrrrrrr...]

So? Maybe it's got robot feelings or something! [ He refuses to think his little crocodile isn't alive, and since it's a robot, maybe this one's alive too!

Hey, whoa, what?! The words get a reaction all right... ]

...Do I look like I've taken it? Like ever?

[ Really, now, can you see him getting on all fours for someone? ... There is one answer for that, Kazama. ]

[ and what's that? Let Kazama kick his knees out and push him to the ground? Sorry, but that ain't exactly his thing, furry boy!

But in light of Heisuke's yapping, Kazama's eyes narrow and he leans in a bit, going for the mean and menacing look and completely ignoring poor UnZippy dancing his heart out to a disinterested crowd. ]

What care have I for feelings in such a thing? [ to which he does glance over to the elephant in the room and he flicks a lazy hand in said direction. ]

See? He doesn't seem to notice we're not watching his unasked for actions.

[ he yawned. ]

And beyond that, aren't you the one who sent me that... thing before?

[ he doesn't even have words for it, it was in such poor taste. Of course, the true question here is why was he even on his cerevice in the first place. ]

[ Kazama's got one up on Heisuke -the moment he looks away, it's like a train wreck and he can't not watch it. It's kind of freaking him out. ]

I don't think it really knows how to dance because that's just kinda scary.

[ And what the hell is he talking about? ]

Wait, what thing? I didn't send anybody anything, and even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't have sent YOU something! I mean, you're the one that sent me something! [ ...which doesn't say much for him then because he's here which makes it look like he was answering it. ]

[ he doesn't even get a chance to scoff some more at the robot because his face immediately falls into a scowl of disbelief. ]

I sent something?

[ he snorted ]

Don't be a fool. I [ barely even know how to work that thing ] have far better uses for my time.

[ he paused because he was starting to get a rather unsettling feeling int he pit of his stomach and it wasn't related at all to the fact that Zippy was starting to creep towards them both while doing a shimmy. ]

Just what was this... thing I supposedly gave you? [ but if it isn't a kick to the ass he doesn't want to hear it, let's be honest here. ]

You didn't give it to me, you sent it. And I was confused because I know you kept chasing after Chizuru, but from the sound of it, you're really just kinda sad and desperate. And thirteen.

[ He's just going to give Kazama a Look. The robot? momentarily forgotten. The dogsuit? Same thing... though, it's kind of comfy so he might want to keep it. ]

I dunno if creeping on people is a better use for your time, y'know...

[ Kazama's brow furrowed deeply. ]

Sent? [ he snorted, loudly. ] Don't be a fool. I have no reason to send anything to you or yours. [ because Hijikata doesn't belong to Heisuke or... anything like that, nope. Hijikata (and Chizuru) was his already. ] Now cease this senselessness. After having the Yukimura woman, do you really think I could settle for less?

[ although that dog suit did look really comfortable. ]

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