estoria | [open]

Who: abe no "i'm so gloomy now" sousei & all of you people
When: IC: 1/21-23 || OOC: 6/17-20ish WHENEVER
Where: Various, catch him wherever suits!
What: What do you do when your partner's gone missing? Do dumb things and check on all of his adopted children, naturally.
Rating/Warning: None!

a. open - around the shopping district;

[At first, he didn't really think anything was wrong. Tenka going missing was naturally concerning, but he could've been at work, or the like. But as the day drags on and he doesn't show up, Sousei actually picks up his phone to call him.

User not Registered.

That's...that's very bad. Don't mind Sousei just standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring down at the CereVice in his hand.

At least, until he snaps back into action, turns abruptly, and starts going in the other direction. Too bad he didn't look where he was going first, hopefully his abrupt stop and equally abrupt direction change didn't cause any traffic jams.

Otherwise he can be found poking his head into shops and through alleyways and possibly even opening up and peering into trash cans. What does he think he's going to find there? Who knows. He has to give it a try, though. Even if he does look ridiculous with a trash can lid held over his head.]

b. open - gym;

[And as it drifts into the next day with still no Tenka, Sousei has to admit what he very much doesn't want to--namely that Tenka's gone, and they have no idea if he'll come back or anything. The city has only just started to run properly again after that entire ghost scare; still, it's hard to really appreciate that when it's becoming starkly obvious that everything is not quite right now.

Which is why he can be found in the gym even before his shift begins, practicing. It's good to practice. It's a good way to stay fit, and sharp, which is necessary after that entire fiasco.

Of course, he may be taking this a little too far, as the time drags on into hours and his breathing comes in short, sharp pants. He should probably take a break, but it doesn't seem like it's all too likely right now.]

c. semi-open: to tenka's close cr/people he adopted/etc;

[If Tenka knew you or was trying to take care of you or wanted to help you in some way or was even just amused by you, chances are he told Sousei. And now, as it edges into the third and four and fifth day and still no sign of Tenka coming back, he has to admit that that's probably the case. It had taken Soramaru two weeks to come back, so it isn't as though there isn't hope--but even so, he can't leave this for two weeks.

So he goes to perform his Not Fun Dad duties (which, for the record, he never signed up for). So if Tenka knew your address, he'll be awkwardly knocking on your door, or if he otherwise sees you around the city, he'll be approaching.

Awkwardly.

Sorry if you've never met him before, but he has a Duty to perform, and that duty is looking out for Tenka's gigantic swarm of adoptees and making sure they're all okay after that entire ViViD and technological fiasco.]

Excuse me.

[Don't mind him. He's just a little more Awkward than Tenka--and he's a little tired, though it's hard to tell from his face.]

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[It's an awkward dance of trying to respect each other's comfort, despite having entirely different scales of what constitutes as comfort. Souza doesn't initiate, and so Sousei doesn't offer; he'll never be comfortable with that sort of closeness, even if he tried to be.]

Useless? [That gets an arched eyebrow out of him, even as he shakes his head.] Do not act as though dealing with grief makes you useless. It is only a natural response to losing someone who matters to you.

[ a part of him knows that. it's normal for humans to grieve when people they love are gone, and isn't his shape human now? his master has reassured him from the start that there's nothing wrong with his periods of depression, especially given what he's been through over the centuries. even so, despite the reassurances, despite what he knows, he still feels.. guilty about them. about leaving sousei alone to deal with everything with tenka gone, not being available for kousetsu and sayo in the way he should be as their brother. for not being more active in looking after his master. ]

I'm tired of grieving. [ it's a soft admission, long fingers tightening around his cup, mismatched eyes staring down into the tea. ] I've been grieving for so long, I don't remember what it's like not to. [ for his masters, for loved ones, for the way his brothers were treated before this.

he hesitates, then glances back up again, a small smile curving onto his mouth again. ] .. Anyway, I'm more myself now. So I think I can help out a bit more. --How are Soramaru-kun and Chuutarou-kun handling it?

[... Sousei understands, he does. He knows what it's like, when there's so much loss that it feels like there's nothing to even hope for--

But then they pick themselves up, lift their chins, and carry on.

That's what they have to do, as people. So Souza asks about the kids, and Sousei can answer that. It's easier to handle than talking about himself.]

They are handling it as well as could be expected.

[Which is...not well. They've lost their brother before. They never wanted to have to again, and Sousei didn't want them to have to.]

If you are up to it, please keep an eye on them both.

[It's a two-fold victory--it means the kids will be looked after, and it means Souza will have something to do to make himself useful.]

I'll do what I can.

[ he's not as close to them as he is his own brothers, or even tenka and sousei yet, but he'll do his best. at this point, he can at least fake being better than he really is, and that's enough for now. maybe given a few more days, it won't be faking, and his smiles will feel real again.

he hesitates, then sets his cup down, pouring for sousei and lifting the cup, offering it out to him. ]

You may as well drink my tea and try to relax a bit. I know you've had a lot on your shoulders lately. [ a beat, and then he changes the subject (doubtless, they're both weary of dwelling on tenka's disappearance). ] Master says he's taking your class?

[It would be rude to dismiss the tea there. He takes it with a quiet nod of thanks, and is honestly grateful for the topic shift. They've all had a lot on their shoulders lately.

The lack of Tenka isn't something that they'll be able to forget just because they aren't talking about it. It's like a missing limb--it's quite obvious that it's always, always missing.]

... Yes, he is.

[Sousei hasn't graduated him to special one-on-one training yet, but even so, he does think that Haru shows...promise.]

He does not have a natural talent for causing harm, but he is a hard worker. [Of course, not wanting to hurt people will generally work against him when using a sword, but it's not like it's a trait that speaks poorly of him.]

[ souza watches until sousei takes the tea, bright gaze thoughtful and a little unreadable. for a few more moments, he's silent, picking his own tea back up and resting back against the cushions. ]

.. I'm glad. [ glad that haru is getting training, glad that he's serious about it, glad that sousei is the one teaching him. ] This place is simply too dangerous, and even back home.. If we are defeated, the Retrograding Army will certainly make haste to kill the saniwa sages. [ the thought is unbearable, not just to he and the others, but doubtless to other sages's armies. ]

[Souza doesn't have to spell it out; Sousei can fill in the blanks easily enough. He's a soldier, after all, even if not in an immediate war.]

Yes, I understand. That is warfare, after all. It will be good for his discipline and confidence as well.

[A pause.]

But especially his discipline. [Not that he thinks Haru is undisciplined in the traditional sense, but anyone who works themselves to the bone for everyone around them without a reality check is only going to cause more harm than good in the long run, he believes. Haru can learn swordplay, and grow as a person, and perhaps learn how to take a step back and depend on others--

That would be ideal, Sousei thinks.]

Naturally, for that to happen, it will require the cooperation of all of his swords. [Souza's not a bad offender, he thinks, and neither are Kousetsu and Sayo, but he's seen some of them be ridiculously overprotective since he started training with Haru.]

[ that's true. souza knows he's not the only one who occasionally worries about their master. it would be good if someone like sousei became a mentor to him, someone to look up to.

the last comment brings his head back up, lips curling a little sadly. ] Some of us still fear being alone again, I suppose. Or fear failing our master. [ he taps his nails against the cup, thinking idly of kashuu. ] Sometimes, being in this shape, being aware like this, is more of a burden than a gift. I suspect that even humans feel that way at times, though.

It is both, naturally.

[Sousei tilts his head slightly, eyebrow arched, but tone rather quietly amused.]

If it was simply one or the other, you would not be aware enough to appreciate that it is.

[And, simply and quietly--]

We take on the burdens we do because we can, correct? [or, after all, they would feel nothing, and would have nothing. Sousei has been there before, when he was little more than a brainwashed child of the Abe family. Now... he'll avoid becoming that ever again. Pain is better than nothingness.]

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