estoria | non-standard siblinghood

Entry tags:

non-standard siblinghood

Who: Aura Blackquill and Simon Blackquill
When: After this!
Where: Aura's apartment.
What: Some sibling bonding after Aura escapes with her life and a cat poster from those awful CERES tours.
Rating/Warning: Violence and Language probably.

[ Aura was not in a great state of mind after that CERES tour. After they had run for their lives from what looked like a map room of sorts that was guarded by a big monster that decided to chase them, she spent most of the elevator ride on the floor clutching her pilfered cat poster trying not to cry. And when she finally left the building, she made sure that Ai and Pearl were safely on their way before traipsing slowly back to her own apartment.

She felt oddly disconnected from her own body. Aura could feel her feet moving one step in front of another. She could see her hands pouring out a glass of water from the jug in her kitchen. Clonco watched by dutifully, not saying anything but merely looking sad at her. She curled up away from her expansive workstation, instead opting to move her couch in front of the window facing away from it. She wanted nothing to do with that damn thing that CERES gave her to work with.

Aura wasn't sure how many hours or even day had past until she had sent a message to Simon to let him know that she was still alive. Not like she was holding out hope though, because hah. It was Simon. ]

How depressingly sentimental.

[ she said, not to anyone. Clonco wheeled himself over hearing her voice. ]

Go away hunk of junk.

[ But even she didn't have any energy to push him away. ]

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[Knock knock! Who's there... is your awful little brother, and he's brought booze and chocolate. And himself, but that might be low on Aura's list of priorities right now.

Fortunately he was able to find Athena alive and well after her trip, and has left her to sleep. Any happiness he might have felt at reuniting with her -- and subsequent developments -- is now muted by the concern he feels for Aura, but the fact she's called him over means it can't be too serious.

Or so he hopes. It's hard to tell, with Aura, when she's as good as him at disguising her feelings.]

[ It isn't Aura who gets the door, but rather it is Clonco. The normally chipper robot recognises Simon and immediately a crying face appears on its screen. ]

Mama Aura's not smiling!

[ The little robot points with an arm to the living room and the bundled figure of Aura in her blankets, on the couch facing the window. ]

Her behaviour pattern matches that of when Mama Metis went away.

[The mention of Metis catches him off guard, and he can feel the old grief weigh heavy in his chest. Despite that, he gives no visible indication of the robot's effect on him, instead patting Clonco on the head to reassure him.] Worry not. I'll speak with her.

[Then he steps around Clonco, setting the wine and chocolate down on a nearby table, before approaching Aura. He observes her for a moment, then breaks the silence.]

... Aura.

[No teasing or sarcastic comments today.]

... Simon.

[ she replies, not bothering to turn around. ]

Do you like my new poster?

[ It's on the wall nearby. Pretty hard to miss. ]

[He eyes the poster, and gives a soft snort.]

I'd no idea you were fond of kittens.

[Or any kind of animal that isn't a CYbuddy, really. It's fairly random, even by Aura's standards.]

I'm not. I like cat on images. Like the ones on the internet.

[ Aura's not turning around to face Simon yet. She feels like she can't. It's a mixture of embarrassment at her own weakness and her stubbornness. She doesn't want to admit she's really pleased he came. ]

This one I stole from some CERES office though.

I see. And are you going to tell me about your daring escapades while there, or sit like that all day and mope?

[Just to annoy her, and so she can't just keep staring out the window, he sits on the other end of the couch, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable. Deal with it, Aura.]

[ That gets Aura to turn her head and look at Simon with an empty expression. She takes a breath and closes her eyes. ]

There were five of us at first, and then somehow five became three. Two of the group disappeared and it was just me and Ai Thao Kha and Pearl Fey in that elevator.

Then... we ended up snooping, because what else are you going to do when your handler leaves you alone?

[ She slides her CereVice over to Simon, a hastily taken picture of this computer screen. Blurry, but still legible. ]

[He takes the Cerevice, eyes narrowing as he tries to make sense of the blurry messages.]

Mosley... How dare that coward threaten you?

[He's already furious about what happened to Athena. This only makes matters worse.]

Simon, I just --

[ Aura throws her hands up in the air, exasperated by it all. She starts sobbing, almost comically with how large her sobs are but this is Aura. Her emotional bursts were probably par for the course. ]

Between that and being chased out of a map room by a giant alien monster I feel, well, I don't know what to feel anymore! I've never felt like this before!

[Uncomfortable as usual with her outbursts of emotion, Simon looks away stiffly.]

... Is it fear, perhaps? [Why does this sound like an armchair psychology session? Though he's sure he's not far off -- Aura is so used to being in control, with her robots and her frightening personality. Yet many things in this colony are out of her league.]

... I don't feel fear though. I never did. Even when you went to jail, all I felt is dread. When Metis --

[ She looks around. ]

I'm not drunk enough to start talking about Metis.

[ That finally motivates Aura to stand up so that she can grab that wine bottle (it is a screw top, right?) ]

[It's absolutely a screw top, because baby brother is considerate like that. He'll get up and pass her a wine glass while she's at it, too.]

Everyone feels fear, Aura. Even that accursed creature that claimed to feel nothing.

[It might even be an acknowledgement that, for all his self-destructive samurai bravado, Simon feels fear, too. Fear enough to turn his hair white and cause endless sleepless nights.

Not that he'd ever talk about it, of course. But he understands fear far better than most.]

[ She unscrews the top of the bottle and takes the proffered glass. What a good baby brother. After pouring herself a glass, she takes a sip before moving to sit back next to Simon - taking the bottle with her. ]

Huh.

[ Another sip, this one slightly longer. ]

Fear, eh? I suppose she could hear it, couldn't she?

[ The she being a certain someone with a Mood Matrix. ]

[He inclines his head in agreement, as Aura sits down.] There's little those ears of hers don't pick up on.

[Even the phantom was no match for her, combined with Simon's psychological manipulation.]

It's only natural to deny fear if one is unaccustomed to it. But behaving as though you are devoid of such an emotion altogether is foolish.

Look at you, lecturing me.

[ Aura sets the glass down on the table, and starts untying her hair. ]

I scared when Metis died. I was scared for her and I was scared for you. And there was nobody to blame but...

[ She takes a breath and gazes off contemplatively in the distance. ]

I would like to let go of my grudges, but I find that incredibly difficult.

[Simon gets up again and paces to the window. For all these years, he's been accustomed to keeping silent, that even broaching this topic with Aura now is difficult and painful. He keeps his voice low, subdued.]

What I chose to do was my own sin, and it allowed the truth to slip away for far too long. So if you should hold a grudge against anyone...

[...it should be him. But he knows she can't, no matter how much she's screamed and cried at him over the years.

He looks back at Aura.]

I know you were never terribly fond of Athena. But at least find it in your heart to forgive her for Metis' sake... and for mine.

[There's more he's thinking of saying, but he'll take one thing at a time first.]

For your Metis' sake and for your sake, huh.

[ Sip. The wine started to feel warm in her glass. The atmosphere felt heavy all of a sudden. Was it the weight of past sins, past regrets and all the actions never taken and the words never spoken that hung between these two?

It's been a while since they were able to talk freely, as freely as this without any glass or people between them, monitoring every conversation. Now the barriers between them were merely... self raised. ]

I loved Metis. And not in that pathetic stomach fluttery way, in a way that... reached into me and took root without me noticing. I never told her that.

[ said Aura, her pitch getting higher with every word she said, eventually culminating in a sob. ]

I couldn't bring myself to. I was afraid of what she would say.

[Simon closes his eyes for a long moment. He's never heard Aura speak so openly about this before, though he'd always understood the depth of her feelings with little needing to be said. He loved Metis too, but it was another kind of devotion, and one he could never articulate for seven years. Not while he was pretending to be her killer.

So, while their situations are different, he understands how Aura feels far better than most. He chooses his words with care before replying.]

I think she loved you as well. I cannot say precisely what she felt... She was sometimes an awkward person, one who did not always know how best to convey her feelings. [Athena could vouch for that much.]

But if the two of you had not shared a special bond -- in whatever form it took -- you could not have made such unique creations as you did.

[He nods in Ponco's direction.]

[ Cue Aura draining her wine glass. That was comforting and distressing at the same time. ]

You two shared a special bond, you know. Don't go projecting on her poor daughter otherwise Metis' ghost is gonna haunt you from the afterlife as one of those ghosts, like the one from that film about the girl from the TV.

[ she may be a little bit drunk and misremembering things ]

Hmph. You're seven years late on that piece of advice, Aura.

[How could he have done as he did for seven years if it wasn't for his duty to Metis? It has coloured everything about his feelings towards Athena... At least until he was freed from prison.

He goes to refill Aura's glass without so much as asking, then pours himself a glass of his own, lingering by the table. For once, he has no idea how to proceed in this conversation.]

It would be doing her a disservice to insist on treating her merely as Metis' daughter. She has learned to stand on her own two feet since then, and has grown into her own person.

[ Aura squints at Simon, mulling over his sentence. ]

Could you just... say that again.

[ She raises a hand to indicate that before he does however, she's just gonna run to the next room and push Clonco in. ]

But with him here.

[He watches in bafflement as she runs out the room... and promptly wheels her robot in.]

W-what?! [It was easy to be sincere before, but now that she's putting him on the spot like this, he feels faintly embarrassed.] Whyever does Clonco need to hear it?

For "no takebacksies".

[ She opens her eyes wide, fixing Simon with a direct look. ]

Don't worry, it's just for me.

[ Aura gives Simon a wink. ]

How absurd. You heard me the first time.

[Now he's definitely getting embarrassed, and equally annoyed at himself for letting Aura rile him up. It's not as if she knows anything, right?]

Then you won't mind saying it again.

[ She doesn't know, but Aura Blackquill is incredibly perceptive. It runs in the family. ]

I thought you liked Clonco. It's not like he's gonna find out your deepest darkest secrets based on that one tiny statement.

[ Or is he? ]

Of course I like Clonco. It's you and your peculiar behaviour I'm more concerned about.

[He takes another sip -- which becomes more of a gulp -- of his wine. He anticipates he'll need it soon enough; it's at times like these he remembers why others are frightened of his older sister.]

My behaviour? You're the one who is being reticent!

[ Not like she expected anything else but what was Simon's deal with not having this on the record? ]

It's not like I'm going to play this to Athena herself, I want to keep this as a record of... well, this!

[ She waves her hands about, knocking Clonco in the process causing the poor robot to spin around in a small circle. ]

Hmph, then listen here. I'll not say it again. [He strides over and clamps a hand down on Clonco's head to stop him spinning. The robot needs to hear this too, after all.]

I said Athena has become her own person, one who should not be defined merely by Metis for the rest of her life.

[A pause, then--] Is that adequate?

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non-standard siblinghood

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