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Who: Leon and Stahn, the failure duo, plus Otome the Intervention
When: IC: 4/30ish ; OOC: 1/1
Where: Walking home, residential district
What: Stahn and Leon are stupid and incapable of discussing canon Issues. Otome's here to help.
Rating/Warning: Dumb tales losers

[Things have been tense from the moment they arrived.

No matter what the topic, and no matter what the situation, it always seemed to end in them butting heads. And nothing like how it used to be. They have always argued. It's just how they are. But this sort of...cold, fierce arguing, as though there is no common ground to be found--it's strange for them.

Leon doesn't like it, truly, but he doesn't know how to fix it, either. There's too much to even begin approaching it, and so instead more and more gets shoved under the rug as they try to cope with things that they never should have had to.

He's never been good at this. And while he knows that he's just hurting Stahn further, he can't seem to stop.

And that's why they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk, arguing again. And it's yet another stupid argument, but really it's just the superficial revealing just how frustrated they really are.]

There is no reason for it, Stahn! [Ah yes, there's Leon, being pissy as ever, much like the fussy angry black cat he is.] I don't require your constant presence, regardless of what you might think!

[Ah yes...here they are, arguing over...eating dinner together. That's normal.]

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Mm.

[he agreement comes in the form a weak, quiet hum. he too only barely lifts his head, just enough to get a peek; the hostile energy that filled the room has been replaced by the deep feelings of hurt and sadness they both have over this situation. it's hard to tell whether it's better or worse, but it's clear that neither of them has the energy to be at one another's throats right now.

it feels like for the first time since they found each other once again, leon has a real understand of what he's been trying to do all along.]

I reached my hand out, remember? I never wanted to fight you... I just wanted you to leave with us. I wanted to help you however I could. I wanted you to fight with us. [that's what everyone wanted.

but that isn't what they got, which is why stahn's head dips again. because it's painful to remember that despite those attempts, he was a second too late. and for all the things that leon was to blame for, the fact that stahn couldn't get through to leon sooner, or be there in darilsheid to try and stop him from making those bad decisions to start with... he still feels guilty about it.

leon deserved better than what he got.

he deserved better than being strung along by hugo.

he deserved better than having to resort to desperate measures to try and save marian.

he deserved better than giving up his own life to save them.

why couldn't he have reached out earlier? why couldn't he have stopped things from getting out of hand before it was too late? why was that a decision leon even had to make in the first place? he never should have had to. that never should have been on the table.]

You're... my best friend, Leon. Even after everything, nothing will change that. [because despite that, he feels this way. leon still was an admirable person who would use all of his resources to protect what mattered. he was still a prodigal swordsman, and seinegald's youngest night. he was still an impressive swordian master. he was still someone who saved stahn's life on more than one occasion, and never demanded so much as a "thank you" for it. he was someone stahn trusted with his thoughts and wondering, someone he could seek out when he needed a dose of reality, and someone that could teach him a lot about the world despite his young age.

but until now, he's never had the chance to tell leon that. not that his feelings won't change, and not that he's no longer just an important friend, but far and away the most important and most treasured one. here and now, he can finally say the same thought he conveyed to marian after they'd saved her.

leon is his best friend. death, fights, ceres' influence—that's not changing it. so he just wants leon to understand this. no matter how hard he tries to deny stahn, or how hard he tries to fight it, stahn is never going to give up on him. not ever.]

[Of course he knows that Stahn reached out his hand to him. How could he ever forget? How could he forget when this was the gesture that was the first to truly get him to hesitate? He'd been doubting all along, all throughout that nightmarish time, but he never once hesitated or stopped. But Stahn... Stahn and his hand, he'd gotten him to stop, and he'd almost gotten him to take that hand.

It makes Leon almost a little bitter. Why couldn't he have taken that hand sooner?

But it wasn't meant to be. In the end Leon hadn't been able to do so. He'd made his decisions, and even now, he has to stand by them. He knows now that he was wrong, wrong in just about....every single decision that he made during that time. But even so, he made them, and he has to stand by the consequences of them. There's no going back.

He hurt Stahn and the others with his choices. He hurt Marian too, even as he was trying to save her. He hurt Chal by forcing him to fight against his comrades, and not listening to him. He hurt everyone that mattered to him, and that's...his burden to bear. That's what he's guilty of.

And even now, Stahn still wants to call him his friend. And not just his friend, but his best friend, and Leon doesn't even know how he'd begin to handle that. What is a best friend? How does Stahn think so highly of him? He knows he doesn't deserve it, but selfishly...he's glad for it too.

Because he doesn't want Stahn to give up on him. He wants Stahn to believe in him. And even though he's going to go back to being dead in time, he still wants Stahn to think of him, and in more than just those last moments of swords clashing and Leon's inability to take his hand. So... maybe he needs to give up on pushing Stahn away. He's not going to let him, and it's just hurting him further. Stahn might end up hurting further, when everything comes to its conclusion and Leon returns to his watery grave, but... it's Stahn's choice, and Leon can't make it for him.

Slowly, he breathes out a shuddering breath, and slowly he lifts his head to properly meet Stahn's eyes finally. They're both tired now, and both of them have said so much that they've been pushing aside for too long. And he can't say much, not really. He can't say much in response to "best friend", and "I wanted to help you however I could", because it's too late. He can't be helped now. But..

Even if he doesn't know how to deal with it, he can at least try.]

I don't remember agreeing to be your friend.

[But there's so little bite to it. It's... Leon being Leon, really, but almost softly.]

I... have decided on what I want to do while I am here. [While he's breathing. While he's alive.] We are going to work to find a way to return you to our world, so that you can properly save it.

[So that Stahn can fix the mistakes Leon made. So that Stahn can continue to live, because that's what Leon wanted all along.

But at least now, it's "we".]

That...is the decision I've made.

[But... But Stahn's right about one thing, and if there's one thing that has really been beaten into his thick skull now, it's:]

What you decide to do from here is...not up to me.

[Because just like Stahn has said so many times... it's not Leon's right to make Stahn's choices for him, as much as he might think they're harebrained or just going to bring him pain (or are just so hard to understand). Leon can't choose for him, but... he'd prefer to work together on this, after everything.]

[hearing every last one of those words is like the weight slowly being lifted off his shoulders. even that half-hearted attempt at trying to deny the friendship feels... at least a step closer to normal.]

Right. Together... like always. [he says, though his voice is weak as he does so. it's soft, and hoarse. it's tired, because everything about stahn is exhausted from how draining this has been. these last few months have been so draining, and fighting with leon constantly has only made it worse. he knows that there's still a lot he has to keep to himself; there's a good chance these things will continue to weigh on him until they're all out in the open. but like everyone has said: there are things to be done. he can't shirk his duties as a swordian master, or leave people hanging that need to be saved just because things are bothering him.

but being able to tell leon some of these things helps. the grieving can be replaced a little with healing now that he's drilled some of these things into leon's head. that they don't hate him. that they miss him. that rutee grieved, and stahn himself missed his best friend. he made it known just how deeply they all felt in the aftermath. and with leon not trying to refute the choices they've made, or force on him sentiments that never existed... that helps too. things are a little more honest, which makes the air a bit light.

sure, this isn't all he wants to do. stahn can strengthen his own resolve in trying to find a way to save leon too. he wants to give leon something to live for, and a place he can go—if there's some miraculous way for him to come back to their world, he'd grab it. but with so many other worlds out there... maybe there's another. maybe there's somewhere leon can go and live a new life, free of guilt and free of the burdens that hugo had left him with. these are things he can think about later. they're things he won't bring up to leon now, because they're both tired and overwhelmed, and it'll undoubtedly start a fight they're not ready to have yet. stahn may be dumb about some things, but that's not one of them. he can brainstorm with dymlos, and maybe even otome at some point about alternatives.

for now, it's dealing with what's in front of them.

...which honestly is pretty overwhelming even still.

and that's why stahn can't hold leon's gaze for very long. he tries, but so much energy and resolve leaves his body now that the worst of this situation his over that his head drops once more, and he covers his eyes with the crook of his elbow.]

What a relief... it's a relief... [there's a slightly muffled sob that comes along with this—it's really obvious just how much weight stahn has been bearing that even this much is enough to make him cry from the relief. he feels like he breathe again, if only a little. but he's relieved that they're working things out, that leon isn't just pushing him away. he's relieved that some of this stuff is just out in the open. stahn, who's always been open about his feelings. stahn, who still is a simple country boy that wears his heart on his sleeve... holding all of this back has been so stifling that it's no wonder he's being even more of a crybaby than usual.]

[Oh shit Stahn's crying.

Leon was also slumping a little, relieved that this confrontation is at least somewhat finished and over with--after all, it was exhausting for him too. It was forcing each other to deal with the things they've been pushing away as much as possible. It was tackling these issues head-on, even though truthfully, Leon didn't want to.

But then again, they'd covered that already.

Leon's a coward. Nothing has really changed there. He's still a coward in a lot of ways, and he still doesn't want to have to deal with this at all. But he doesn't have a choice. He has to. This...is another burden for him to bear, because there's no running away from it now.

So he's decompressing a little, shoulders slumping when Stahn looks away, except then he's crying and that's pretty panic-inducing. Leon still doesn't know how to deal with a sobbing Stahn, that's for sure. So all he can really do is stare at him for a long moment, flustered, before he flails about for some sort of...thing to say.

What does one say to someone who's crying???]

Stahn, what are you--

[???!??!?? someone help him.]

[ It's probably obvious by now that Otome has been in the kitchen getting/making tea for far too long than anyone would ever properly take, even the slowest of people. But that's fine, she'd thought, sitting at the table and doing her best to block out most of the yelling. This isn't her argument to have or listen to, even though a great deal of it will still reach her ears and prompt more confusion and concern than she would have preferred.

But, gradually, things quiet down enough for her to venture out there, two mugs of green tea clutched in her hands-- which, upon a quick glance around, she places one on the table and hands the other to Leon.

And then she just quietly walks over to Stahn, reaching out to draw him into a hug. Sorry. Mommy instincts. She'll keep it a moderately loose embrace, in the chance that he'll want to break free a la Leon, but less irately. ]

[stahn is.... much less like leon in that way. he's usually the one to offer the physical comfort of a hug out when it's really needed—and with this whole situation being tied to leon, he doesn't expect anything of this sort.

so for a moment, he just embraces it, trying to choke back the sobs and overwhelming feelings that come with the situation on the whole. it's.... a little embarrassing, maybe, but stahn isn't the kind of person who lets knowing that stop him. it's a full expression of who he is and just how much he feels when it comes to the situations around him. that's why he stays that way until he calms a little. he still doesn't want to be burden on her—they've already been enough of one today, haven't they?]

I'm... okay. [he'll say, when he's finally ready to pull back. and he'll wipe at his eyes and draw in a quiet breath. this is hard but... he'll be okay, somehow. still, there's gratitude that comes along with this, though it's spoken quietly.] Thanks, Otome.

[There's Otome, and for a moment, Leon had sincerely forgotten that she was in the other room, and there's a bit of a sickening drop in his stomach when he thinks about it. Did she...hear all of that? Did she hear everything they were arguing about?

All Leon can do is sit there, feeling rather awkward and distressed, stewing in his thoughts and the things they've said. The things Stahn has said.

It's...been a lot, after all. It's a lot for him to process, but he's not sure he's really capable of handling Otome knowing about everything they were just talking about. He can't remember how explicit or how vague they were, and... well, Otome isn't giving any sign like this. He's glad, honestly, that she's there to take care of Stahn, because someone has to. It's just...he doesn't know what else to do.

Besides clutching the tea in his hands, staring down into it, downcast.]

[ Otome only smiles in response, shaking her head in a "no need for thanks" gesture when she releases Stahn with a gentle ruffle of his hair and settles onto her couch with her hands clasped in her lap. There's a lot concerning her, honestly, but asking is the last thing on her mind. Still, to reassure Leon, who still looks dejected and uncomfortable-- ]

I'm not going to ask what the two of you were talking about. But if there's anything I can do, please let me know.

[ She doubts they will, for varying reasons, but the offer is there. And it always will be.

At the very least, the air seems less oppressive around them. She can only be relieved about that. ]

[he does have to wonder how much of that otome actually heard; the apartment probably isn't that big, and they weren't exactly quiet about it. but he's not that fussed about it, because stahn knows otome isn't the type to directly insert herself into situations that she can tell stretch beyond her grasp.

...though he guesses she may have learned a few things that both of them have been tight-lipped about. but hearing her words, he knows that regardless, she won't just tactlessly ask. hopefully, it'll assauge leon's concerns too—stahn knows that if he's thinking about this, leon must be as well. but he hasn't really committed to looking over in leon's direction again just yet. he's still trying to regain a full handle on his composure. so instead, he leans forward to pick up the cup of tea that he couldn't a few minutes ago, drawing in a couple of quiet breaths.]

You've done a lot already. [stopping them from fighting out on the street, giving them a place to air their problems before they bottled hem again, being actual comfort... it's a lot, for someone who hasn't known them long. stahn appreciates it, of course, but he's not even sure what more she could do.]

[It's a good thing Stahn's capable of being polite and well-mannered, because Leon sure isn't! He's still going to be over here sulking into his tea, thanks for asking. Having it confirmed that she heard it all is more than enough to leave that sinking feeling in his gut.

Even if she's not going to ask, she's smart enough to draw some of her own conclusions, and...

Is she going to think less of him for it? He wonders, he really does. Stahn, somehow, doesn't, but Stahn is a strange case. Any normal person would think less of him for the choices that he's made, that much is obvious to Leon.

He still hasn't even sipped the tea, but it's convenient for him to stare into, hiding his face and keeping himself from having to speak. The air's been lightened a bit, yes, but in place of it now there's just a lot of exhaustion and a lot of uncertainty, and a lot of sadness as well, even if Leon will never admit to that one.]

[ Has she? Leon and Stahn may be looking less furious and distressed with/at each other, but the both of them look exhausted now, and Otome has a natural inclination to want to solve all of the problems when people are suffering, soothe all the hurt-- which is ridiculous and impossible to do, she knows, but the urge to do more than what she's done is still there.

But no. She knows enough about emotionally painful fights to additionally know that the end result is always draining. If they've gotten to that point, it's actually a promising sign. Then the important thing now is to give them time to rest and recover, isn't it? ]

Well, for the time being... I've said everything I wanted to say. You're both welcome to stay for dinner [ which will be takeout because Otome's cooking skills really do need work ] if you'd like, or as long as you need to.

[ Drink your tea, Leon. If nothing else, the air of disappointed disapproval she'd sported at the beginning is long gone. ]

Eh? Are you sure?

[it's a generous offer, of course. and it's not like stahn really expects any less from otome when she's always presented herself as a caring and thoughtful person. but... really?]

I figured we caused you enough trouble for today already. [even if she's much gentler now than earlier, she'd been disappointed in them enough to intervene in a way they couldn't refuse. they came into her home and made a lot of noise with their fighting, and now that they're both just exhausted, they're taking up space.

(but he is hungry, so maybe it's obvious that he wants to take on her hospitality—mayb he's concerned the matter of dinner will spark another argument too.)

he doesn't want to inconvenience her, and he can already imagine that despite leon's silence, he feels much the same. he looks to her, and then finally (and maybe with a bit uncertainty) at leon. what should they do now?]

[Don't look at Leon, Stahn.... Leon's too exhausted to really have an opinion right now. Dinner at home, dinner here with Otome, either way he's going to be having dinner with Stahn, that much is clear. That was what had even sparked this whole thing--feeling like Stahn has been way, way too focused on staying close to Leon, like they always had to do things together because Stahn just won't back off.

But in a way, he supposes he understands a bit better why now.

If Stahn was this upset over his death...

In response to Stahn's look, Leon ducks his head further, finally taking a sip of his tea so as to continue to avoid eye contact and also so as to not have to speak.

Leon how old are you]

[ ... Ah. So Leon's going to be like this-- which isn't actually all that surprising, but Otome's not going to force them into a decision either way. She'll just be her usual sincere self, and she smiles now, ruefully, as she clasps her fingers together a little tighter. ]

It's hardly any trouble. I like company, but since I do live alone, I usually eat by myself too. A change of pace might be nice.

[thanks for nothing, leon!!!!

but really, stahn will just frown a bit sadly at the way he avoids answering before he listens to otome's response. and to that, he nods. see that, leon? other people get it... it's less lonely to eat with other people.]

I guess that has to get lonely sometimes. Eating with other people... it's always better. [of course, that comes from stahn's sincerity; he grew up with a family, he grew up never eating alone, so he hates the idea of it in general. it makes him feel too isolated. he offers otome a bit of a smile that goes along with it—it's warm, but still tired and melancholic.

it's pretty obvious that he's beyond worn out from this day, physically and emotionally. and it's obvious he's not anywhere near back to his typical sunshine state. but he gives her a nod.] We'll stay then. Thanks for offering... and everything else, too.

[they've been such an imposition, he can't help but to apologize.]

[Leon is useless, news at 11.

But it seems they're staying. As much as Leon would like to just go home and sit in his room and not do anything for a bit, it seems that's not in the cards. Which... admittedly is partially his own fault. He didn't say anything, after all.

He's going to just have to deal with it, ultimately.

He still doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what the big deal is about eating dinner together. He's always been alone for dinner.

And so, quietly, he drinks his tea, eyes half-closed. He's tired. He'll go through the motions, and then they can go home. He has a lot to think about, after all.]

Eating with other people is always better, but...

[ Otome trails off, gaze distant for a few short seconds. It's difficult to explain having two-- no, three sets of memories, one where she'd had a daughter. One where she hadn't had a daughter, hadn't lived beyond a certain day. And the current memory, where she'd remembered adopting her cousin when her parents had died, but in this world, that had changed, and meals had become bittersweet sensations that clogged her throat and made it hard to swallow.

But none of this is worth mentioning, and she pushes herself to her feet with a faint smile. ]

I'll see what I can order. Do you have any preferences?

[when otome says that, stahn can't help but to arch a brow curiously, but he says nothing. he won't forget it though, the look on her face and the way she didn't finish that statement...

there's something else there. and it's painful, and maybe lonely too. obviously, she's not going to burden them with her troubles after what they've been through today but all the same, it concerns him. so stahn files that away for when they're alone, because it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing to bring up in any other circumstances.]

Hmmm... [he pauses, trying to get back onto the important topic here.] I'm not picky. Maybe Leon wants something, otherwise... Just none of the things I mentioned last time.

[no spicy, no sour, light on vegetables (and definitely no carrots or peppers).]

[Leon's not quite aware enough to process that, but he does look up (finally) when Stahn brings that up. He can't sulk all night, after all, and--]

"Last time"?

[He can't help but arch an eyebrow at that, because now he feels like he's missing something.]

Mm-hm, about that-- [ Oh look, Leon's talking again! Some things still come as a sharp relief.

Although it's strange to be concerned over him not offering caustic or annoyed remarks. ]

Some time ago, we were just discussing food, and preferences came up.

Mm.

[stahn nods on in agreement.] When I first brought lunch to work... Otome helped me decide on where to go.

[well, a lot of people did, and that's why he'd brought so much food, but she came up with the suggestion that suited them best.]

[... .. ..... "Preferences".

His preferences is what he's deriving from this, even if it's not being stated flat outright. Stahn was asking people about food to find something that would fit his taste.

After a long pause, he buries his face in his tea again, though this time it's more out of a mix of embarrassment and uncertainty than anything.

He never knows how to handle Stahn showing that much care.]

Actually, that might not be a bad idea. Would sandwiches work? You'll have to tell me the toppings you prefer, but that way, no one has to try eating something they don't like.

[ If Leon doesn't drown himself in his tea first. ]

I don't mind. You can just get me the same as whatever you like, Otome.

[that probably makes it easier. he didn't get himself a sandwich last time, so he hasn't tried a lot of them, still. he may as well see what kind of things she likes—being willing to try anything once has perks at times like these.]

[Leon might drown himself in his tea first. Farewell cruel world.

... Okay, no, he recognizes that his input is necessary here, but he doesn't really...want anything spectacular out of this. He barely feels able to eat, though their appetites will probably be back by the time dinner actually arrives.]

... I don't want much. Something simple is fine.

[Be kind to his granny tastebuds.]

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