The thing about Cerealia is, there really isn't any nature to be found here. Sure, you can go outside the walls of the city and explore the land beyond but who wants to risk a terrible, horrible death just to sniff the flowers? Not you, that's who! CERES understands that, CERES sympathizes, and sometimes CERES decides to take action when such problems arise. As part of the company's current "Healthier and Happier YOU" initiative, they've decided to let everyone get back in touch with nature a little.
Via ViViD.
Of course, this being CERES, the nature they've sent everyone to is more of a swamp. The place is disgusting, a real marvel of ViViD ingenuity and it smells like the dead. There's strange rustling among the leaves from creatures that may or may not want to eat you, and random pits that open up right under your feet with the goal of sending you straight into the marsh. It's not really that fun. There's no welcome sign either, no nothing except for swamplands as far as the eye can see.
Welcome to ViViD!  This is Mosley. One of our programmers forgot to include a welcome greeting for the level this time. How incompetent can you get? He's been fired now, it's fine. Instead, I will greet you today. Lucky you! You've been invited today to participate in CERES's "Healthier and Happier YOU" level where we've combined both physical exercise and relaxing meditation into the ultimate ViViD experience. Isn't that fun? You can... go camping and stuff. Or whatever. I don't... know...
Honestly, I don't even care. Have fun.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] Welcome to your new healthy living training ground! What does a swamp have to do with healthy living, you may ask? Absolutely nothing! To make up for it, CERES has outfitted all players with the proper equipment for their new healthy living lifestyle. They also may or may not have let you keep your shoes based on how benevolent the ViViD gods were being at the time. (Not very.)
Oh, and all newcomers will have something additional on their fancy new yoga shirt. It will be displayed loudly and proudly all over the front and back of it. And if you're one of the few not wearing a shirt, it will be on the back of your pants. As in, your butt. It will be on your butt.
What’s ViViD trying to say, anyway?
Regardless, it probably doesn’t matter as much as finding your way through the swamp. Some sort of dry land would be really nice right now, wouldn't it? You'll have to watch out for the mud that will suck you right down under the marsh, and the creatures with lots of teeth that will never surface from the mud but won't hesitate to snap up an unwary foot or two.
CERES is sure you'll be fine. Totally and completely fine.
PHASE II [ 800 ] Eventually, if you try really, really hard, you’ll make it to a house. Actually, it’s more of a shack, really. If you clamber your way out of the mud and the gunk and the marsh into said shack, you will find it to be empty aside from a table. A table hosting a huge pile of... well, health drinks. See, there's totally a health theme in this level. CERES would never make a ViViD level that wasn't thematically appropriate. Never! Health drinks of all sorts and types and sizes can be found here and there’s even a sign too; it simply says:
Take one.
Well, that seems safe.
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to leave said shack until you do take one. And drink it. The door will lock shut and cover itself in more swamp until you do. Yay. Depending on your luck, the drink may do the following to you: ➟ Cause your ViViD experience to glitch. This may involve phasing through walls, seeing everything in 8-bit, or hearing really annoying old video game music everywhere you go.
➟ Cause status effects. This can include suddenly moving incredibly slowly, being turned to stone for a period of time, suddenly being on fire, suddenly being poisoned, etc etc.
➟ Be healthier. Mmm, kale and hummus smoothie. Taste those veggies. If you try to take more than one, that’s fine too, nobody will stop you, but you probably won’t get lucky more than once.
PHASE III [ 900 ] And back you go, out into the swampy wilderness. Don’t give up! Keep going! Eventually, you’ll find the end of this level. Probably.
Eventually, though, you may stumble across something in the mud and the muck. It’s... a little doll?
In fact, it’s a little doll of one of your most important people (or, alternatively, of someone you absolutely hate). It might be someone in Cerealia currently, or someone who isn’t, but either way, the doll is there and it’s clearly them (covered in mud and all). Be careful, though. If you toss it aside, you’ll suddenly see that important person being tossed aside. If you cut the doll, you'll suddenly see that person bleeding. Even if they aren’t present in Cerealia, whatever happens to that doll, you'll see it happening to them. Is it a hallucination or are they actually there? That's a little more up in the air.
And if they are present in Cerealia, well... doing things to that doll might very well hurt them too -- for real, this time, though.
Be careful! Or don't. You do you, as CERES would say.
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] And then, eventually you reach a quiet, swampy area. Not that the rest of the swamp isn't swampy, this area is just extra swampy.
There’s very little happening here in this swampy place; even the birds are no longer squawking. And for a long moment, everything will remain quiet and peaceful, a place of reprieve... until the swamp begins to bubble. Then suddenly, a new friend will burst out of the swamp, showering mud and gunk everywhere.
Without warning, that creature is going to try to grab for the nearest person (it might be you!) and let out a mighty roar when they have them. Then, they'll hold them up to... read the nutrition facts on their shirt? What?
Of course, it will try to gobble you or whoever else it grabs if it finds, say, the salt content to be acceptable (the monster is watching their carbs). If it's not, then they'll just fling you away and move onto the next snack. For those without a handy nutrition facts label on your shirt, well, it might just take a gamble and try to eat you anyway.
Great. A health-conscious monster. That's just what this level needed.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Finally, you’re free of the game. Without warning, you’re dumped into Cerealia properly and you’re able to scrub the mud and gunk from your clothing (wait why did that come back with you and where are your normal clothes?). You're able to then make your way to your new place of residence (or old) and...
There is a tiny tree there waiting for you. Isn’t it cute? And if you take care of this tiny tree, it will eventually bear fruit! Tiny fruit. Itty bitty fruit.
Depending on which tiny tree you get, it will be one of the following: a tiny dildo tree, a tiny bacon tree, a tiny kazoo tree, a tiny carolina reaper tree, or a (dumb) tiny hats tree.
Everything will, naturally, be tiny. Enjoy your new healthy CERES gift!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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phase ii! the babysitting already begins
Hey. [Hey.] Don't you think these guys have had a hard enough time already? Don't punish 'em more just because they were dumb enough to trust these drinks.
[Rude, Kashuu.]
yesss good
Yamaguchi-kun's always wanted to sit at a table and eat dinner with his parents. Isn't that right? [ He pats 'Yamaguchi' on the shoulder, as if awaiting his response. No such response comes, though, because the guy's soul has long ascended to the next world. ]
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I think you put that guy into a coma somehow. [Maybe it's a self-preservation mechanism??] He's totally not responding at all...
[Kashuu will helpfully check, leaning over to wave a hand in front of Yamaguchi's face. Yamaguchi just looks at it with the eyes of a person who's been through Too Much.]
Geez! What're you planning on doing when they can actually move again, anyway?
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Ah, I hadn't thought that far ... [ Those guys will probably try and beat him up huh?????
Oh well, he's dealt with his fair share of vengeful spirits. That's par for the course when you're a manslayer like him #2edgy ]
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[While talking, he moves to... sort of pick up the 'father'. Sticking his arms under the poor guy's armpits and dragging him away from the table...]
I'm gonna set this one free.
[They're not captured wildlife.]
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He doesn't care enough to think about consequences when he's in gag scenes. Whatever looks funny is clearly worth trying out. Pls, Kashuu, if you keep thinking about 'What ifs', you're never going to accomplish anything. ] Wait a minute. Don't you know you shouldn't release domesticated animals?
[ These people are just animals to them at this point. ] There's no way 'Father' will be able to survive out there in the wild, give him back. [ And since he doesn't like having his things taken from him, Sougo tugs at 'father's legs, pulling him back. ]
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But ah, these poor... animals... Well, Kashuu sure isn't treating them like people either even if he's trying to save them. It's hard when they're practically life-sized mannequins!]
Seriously?! He'll definitely be able to survive! The wild is where he came from, so let him go back!
[Being a staunch defender of the defenseless and all, Kashuu will do the mature thing here and pull 'father' toward his side again.]
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[ And then, under his breath, he admits one thing: ] (Because I haven't written it.)
[ This is an exercise in improvisation.
Sougo pulls and pulls until the belt gives way and 'Father's' pants slip right off, revealing something rather unsightly underneath. Meanwhile, there's a single tear that rolls down the helpless guy's cheek. Once upon a time, he was a man still with dignity. ]
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WAH—! Gross!!
[Like this poor guy had any say over that whatsoever?! His life, the life of eternal hard knocks. He wasn't born to go down this dark path... That said, Kashuu is a stubborn shit when he wants to be, so he... well. He kind of picks up the torch - ie, he grabs the guy by the back of his collar instead of under his arms, because he's leery about touching him now.]
Look! He's never gonna be accepted out in public if you keep going-- You gotta let him out before it's too late! [He's already forgetting that it's not publicly acceptable to walk around with no pants!!]
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[ Actually, it's more Sougo's thing. In fact, this is something he might attempt himself. But infuriating person that he is, he's going to make false accusations in Kashuu's direction. ]
Look, he's even crying.
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You're the one who made him cry! ...And pull his pants back up!! That was your fault, too!
[As if Sougo isn't perfectly aware of that... Meanwhile, this poor guy is trying to pull his pants back up himself, but it's a very slow process.]
this thread is a mess
[ And Sougo moves to pull the guy on his feat, not seeming to care at all that there's a d**k staring right at him. He then arranges his hands and legs into a cool-looking martial arts pose, ala Bruce Lee. ]
Like so.
[ The pants are still down though, so it just looks creepy. ] Now he'll feel ready to defeat the triad.
IT'S JUST GETTING WORSE
[And yet, Kashuu doesn't move to pull his pants back on for him... Look, he's not risking anything, he's not getting close to a half-naked stranger.
Meanwhile, as they're distracted, the designated "mother" of their scenario finally seems to shake the effects of the drink! And make an immediate break toward the door, ah.]
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But first, a parting gift ... ]
WATAAAA! [ Using the table as a stepping stone, he comes in from above and gets the poor woman in a dropkick, smashing her face into the ground. This is in line with the Bruce Lee theme that's going on right now I guess ..... ]
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Well, kind of. It's more like a surprised yelp, but it's still loud?! He's so distressed on behalf of these poor people!!]
Why?! [Just why.] What's your problem—? Oh my god, that's a lot of blood—
[A comical amount, because that's the genre they've apparently entered... Their token dad has gotten his pants halfway up in all of this mess, though! Good on him.]
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Ah, I thought it was a triad member. [ That's such bullshit, he deserves to be drop-kicked too. But at least Papa has managed to pull his pants over his unmentionables by now. Go, papa, go!
At some point they need to discuss about how, exactly, they're going to get out... ]
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You're gonna give me a headache. [He's too old to be dealing with these shenanigans?! HE MAY BE SWORD-YOUNG, but he's still over 500!! Anyway, pointedly ignoring poor dad and bleeding mom.]
Why don't you just go out there and find some of those mud monsters to play with? If you wanna kick things around so bad, at least kick around things that're hurting other people.
[Says Kashuu, who is blissfully unaware of the fact that they're stuck.]
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I would if I could, you know. [ Wow, does it look like he has that much free time (he does)?? He is a busy man ok (he's really not)??? ]
Why don't you try leaving this place and you'll see what I mean ...
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[WHAT IF HE'S THE NEXT VICTIM OF A DROP-KICK. Nope, nu-uh, he isn't about that life.]
So come with me. [Who is he, the police?? Oh.]
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Also guess who is the actual police ]
Hey. [ He really is done with the random violence but!!! very much like the boy who cried wolf, nobody believes him anymore. ] You want me to hold your hand too? I don't want to hold your hand.
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