//EVENT024.EXE

[reparator]

Who: Everyoneeeeee!
When: OOC: 1/15 ; IC: 5/7
Where: ViViD's new level: Your Health and You (And Giant Monsters)
What: Intro log, welcome to Cerealia!
Rating/Warning: PG-13 for violence, etc! Please let the mods know if the rating needs to be changed or if the log needs to be locked!

---

//event024.EXE

The thing about Cerealia is, there really isn't any nature to be found here. Sure, you can go outside the walls of the city and explore the land beyond but who wants to risk a terrible, horrible death just to sniff the flowers? Not you, that's who! CERES understands that, CERES sympathizes, and sometimes CERES decides to take action when such problems arise. As part of the company's current "Healthier and Happier YOU" initiative, they've decided to let everyone get back in touch with nature a little. Via ViViD. Of course, this being CERES, the nature they've sent everyone to is more of a swamp. The place is disgusting, a real marvel of ViViD ingenuity and it smells like the dead. There's strange rustling among the leaves from creatures that may or may not want to eat you, and random pits that open up right under your feet with the goal of sending you straight into the marsh. It's not really that fun. There's no welcome sign either, no nothing except for swamplands as far as the eye can see. Welcome to ViViD! This is Mosley. One of our programmers forgot to include a welcome greeting for the level this time. How incompetent can you get? He's been fired now, it's fine. Instead, I will greet you today. Lucky you! You've been invited today to participate in CERES's "Healthier and Happier YOU" level where we've combined both physical exercise and relaxing meditation into the ultimate ViViD experience. Isn't that fun? You can... go camping and stuff. Or whatever. I don't... know... Honestly, I don't even care. Have fun.

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I [ 600 ] Welcome to your new healthy living training ground! What does a swamp have to do with healthy living, you may ask? Absolutely nothing! To make up for it, CERES has outfitted all players with the proper equipment for their new healthy living lifestyle. They also may or may not have let you keep your shoes based on how benevolent the ViViD gods were being at the time. (Not very.) Oh, and all newcomers will have something additional on their fancy new yoga shirt. It will be displayed loudly and proudly all over the front and back of it. And if you're one of the few not wearing a shirt, it will be on the back of your pants. As in, your butt. It will be on your butt. What’s ViViD trying to say, anyway? Regardless, it probably doesn’t matter as much as finding your way through the swamp. Some sort of dry land would be really nice right now, wouldn't it? You'll have to watch out for the mud that will suck you right down under the marsh, and the creatures with lots of teeth that will never surface from the mud but won't hesitate to snap up an unwary foot or two. CERES is sure you'll be fine. Totally and completely fine. PHASE II [ 800 ] Eventually, if you try really, really hard, you’ll make it to a house. Actually, it’s more of a shack, really. If you clamber your way out of the mud and the gunk and the marsh into said shack, you will find it to be empty aside from a table. A table hosting a huge pile of... well, health drinks. See, there's totally a health theme in this level. CERES would never make a ViViD level that wasn't thematically appropriate. Never! Health drinks of all sorts and types and sizes can be found here and there’s even a sign too; it simply says: Take one. Well, that seems safe. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to leave said shack until you do take one. And drink it. The door will lock shut and cover itself in more swamp until you do. Yay. Depending on your luck, the drink may do the following to you: ➟ Cause your ViViD experience to glitch. This may involve phasing through walls, seeing everything in 8-bit, or hearing really annoying old video game music everywhere you go. ➟ Cause status effects. This can include suddenly moving incredibly slowly, being turned to stone for a period of time, suddenly being on fire, suddenly being poisoned, etc etc. ➟ Be healthier. Mmm, kale and hummus smoothie. Taste those veggies. If you try to take more than one, that’s fine too, nobody will stop you, but you probably won’t get lucky more than once. PHASE III [ 900 ] And back you go, out into the swampy wilderness. Don’t give up! Keep going! Eventually, you’ll find the end of this level. Probably. Eventually, though, you may stumble across something in the mud and the muck. It’s... a little doll? In fact, it’s a little doll of one of your most important people (or, alternatively, of someone you absolutely hate). It might be someone in Cerealia currently, or someone who isn’t, but either way, the doll is there and it’s clearly them (covered in mud and all). Be careful, though. If you toss it aside, you’ll suddenly see that important person being tossed aside. If you cut the doll, you'll suddenly see that person bleeding. Even if they aren’t present in Cerealia, whatever happens to that doll, you'll see it happening to them. Is it a hallucination or are they actually there? That's a little more up in the air. And if they are present in Cerealia, well... doing things to that doll might very well hurt them too -- for real, this time, though. Be careful! Or don't. You do you, as CERES would say. PHASE IV [ 1200 ] And then, eventually you reach a quiet, swampy area. Not that the rest of the swamp isn't swampy, this area is just extra swampy. There’s very little happening here in this swampy place; even the birds are no longer squawking. And for a long moment, everything will remain quiet and peaceful, a place of reprieve... until the swamp begins to bubble. Then suddenly, a new friend will burst out of the swamp, showering mud and gunk everywhere. Without warning, that creature is going to try to grab for the nearest person (it might be you!) and let out a mighty roar when they have them. Then, they'll hold them up to... read the nutrition facts on their shirt? What? Of course, it will try to gobble you or whoever else it grabs if it finds, say, the salt content to be acceptable (the monster is watching their carbs). If it's not, then they'll just fling you away and move onto the next snack. For those without a handy nutrition facts label on your shirt, well, it might just take a gamble and try to eat you anyway. Great. A health-conscious monster. That's just what this level needed. BONUS [ xxxx ] Finally, you’re free of the game. Without warning, you’re dumped into Cerealia properly and you’re able to scrub the mud and gunk from your clothing (wait why did that come back with you and where are your normal clothes?). You're able to then make your way to your new place of residence (or old) and... There is a tiny tree there waiting for you. Isn’t it cute? And if you take care of this tiny tree, it will eventually bear fruit! Tiny fruit. Itty bitty fruit. Depending on which tiny tree you get, it will be one of the following: a tiny dildo tree, a tiny bacon tree, a tiny kazoo tree, a tiny carolina reaper tree, or a (dumb) tiny hats tree. Everything will, naturally, be tiny. Enjoy your new healthy CERES gift! [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to Cerealia's January intro log! For your convenience, we have compiled the characters' arrival experience here, and should you have any questions, feel free to ask them here! You can also check the FAQ for more general inquiries. Should this event log hit Captcha, there is an all-purpose overflow here. Thank you!

Comments

okita sougo (gintama) | ota

[eyemask]

PHASE II | THE FAMILY THAT EATS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER

[ So, in his immense boredom at being trapped in the shack until he takes one of those drinks (which isn't going to happen, since he's already seen their effects), Sougo's decided to have a little fun. It'll pass the time until he figures out another way out.

Like a child playing with action figures, he's arranged the other victims of the health drinks - the poor people trapped in slow motion - into a family unit around the table. They're trying their best to escape in their pathetic, snail-paced way, but every time they shift just a little out of place, he arranges them back into his desired position.

So now there are two people - the parents, evidently - and one teenager seated around the table. The designated 'child' of the 'family' shifts once more, trying to get out of Sougo's grasp, but he simply steps in to arrange the poor guy's hands back. ]

Ah, don't fidget, Yamaguchi-kun. I know you're nervous to be around your parents after you saw Papa at the love hotel with another woman the other day, but you have to understand that Mama's having a tough time too.

[ who the hell is Yamaguchi-kun tho?? ] She's doing her best to keep the family together, and that's why you have to try your best to pretend nothing had ever happened.

[ The 'Mama' in question is doing no such thing, though. In fact, all they seem to want to do is to escape.

Anyway, perhaps your character is an unfortunate victim in this mess? Perhaps they just entered the cabin? Perhaps they want to dropkick Sougo for being an asshole? He'll keep doing bizarre things to pass the time until he finds a way out. ]

PHASE III | 'LOVE AND HATE ARE BUT TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN', OR SO SAID SOME IDIOT WHO WAS TRYING TOO HARD TO BE DEEP

[ At some swampy corner, a rather ghastly sight is taking place. There's a young man hunched over one of those little dolls, and under his breath he's muttering what sounds like an unholy chant ... ]

Die, you bastard-Hijikata ... Die, you asshole-Hijikata ... Die, you fuckhead-Hijikata ...

[ He also appears to be stabbing the doll repeatedly??? Is this a yoga game or a horror game, who even knows at this point

Since the dolls project the image of someone your character loves or hates, perhaps they may be seeing Sougo stab someone else entirely.

Also, the Nutritional Info on his back reads 'Sadism: 9000%'.]

PHASE IV | YOU BETTER THROW IN AN ACTION SCENE TO BALANCE OUT THE STUPID, OR THE READERS WILL GET TIRED

[ The moment he sees the monster reaching out for someone to the side, Sougo jumps into action immediately, running over and bringing his blade down to cut those tentacles clean off. ]

Oi, what's the point of reading the nutritional info when you're going to start snacking anyway? Can't you see that guy's cholesterol content is off the charts? [ Okay, he hadn't actually read the other person's nutritional label yet but he's going to insult them anyway. ] You're like one of those girls who only diet when people are watching.

[ The monster screams, bleeding from its amputated tentacle, and now it's even more enraged than before. Take it on? Run away? ]

WILDCARD

[ The wildcard option! Sougo works at an S&M store and pops by the CERES gym to beat people up on occasion. Feel free to run into him there! Or PM me to plot something new? ]

II.

[faceplate]

[ zero's just come in, stands by the door, and takes in the scene with a general air of... well, something that might be concern.

or maybe they're just watching. hard to tell through the helmet. either way, after a long, silent pause, zero turns to the "father" and grabs his arm, then moves it to lightly smack the man's own face.

yes this is a "why are you hitting yourself" joke. ]

[eyemask]

[ Oh. An ally in sadism!! This is a bit of a change in the plotline, but Sougo rolls with it. He speaks to 'Yamaguchi-kun' like his 'father's' plight is somehow his fault. ]

Now look what you've done? Papa feels so worthless, he's awakened his M side. [ Sougo takes a step closer toward the 'mother' and maneuvers one of her hands into a fist. ] In that case, Mama --

[ He then uses this fist to punch the 'father' in the face. ] Finally has an excuse to punish Papa for his sins!

[ The plot thickens?? They're like two people playing with action figures right now. ]

[faceplate]

[ the whole background of the thing is still a little lost on zero, but they've seen enough ECHOnet videos and images to sort of get the picture. they move the "father" back, as if he's really been struck—maybe a little too dramatically, but zero's just playing along!

ah, they pulled too hard. the father is falling to the ground. RIP. zero raises their hands into the air. "it wasn't me." ]

iv.

[deontology]

[He didn't exactly need the help, sword at the ready, but he's not going to argue it either; it'd be a silly thing to argue in the midst of all of this. Instead, he glances over at Sougo (what), quirking an eyebrow. He's one of those people without a label... aka he's been here forever.]

Are you judging our monster opponent?

[You.... you do you, Sougo. He supposes. Maybe.]

[eyemask]

[ He will always do him, whether other people like it or not. This really isn't the time to be arguing about pointless things but Sougo is a Gintama character and they never have any sense of urgency. ]

Being a monster doesn't make him immune to the opinions of others. If he keeps thinking that way, he'll only get hurt when he hears what the other monsters are talking about together in the bathro --

[ And the monster thrashes its tentacles about once more. Sougo does manage to avoid a direct hit, but the force of the thrashing sends swamp gunk splashing all over him. The expression on his face flatlines. Flatter than it already was. ]

Ah. [ He should probably pay attention... ]

[deontology]

[Probably.... Sousei's not entirely sure what Sougo's even talking about right now, but he does know enough to pay attention to said tentacles as they're flailing around. So even as Sougo's explaining (????) himself, Sousei is taking a few safe steps away.

He still gets splattered by some of the muck, but not near as much as poor Sougo.]

Hm.

[Yes....]

If you are finished messing around, I suspect this monster shouldn't pose that much difficulty.

[What a world, where giant monsters are just normal at this point. (Sousei stop being a buzzkill.)]

III.

[specialization]

[actually, this is pretty perfect. the doll in his hands is pretty torn up already, but Chrollo can't deny the wish to inflict just a little more pain on the one he's got. here or not here, the images brought to mind soothe a smoldering hatred, and he needs all the peace of mind he can to figure this place out swiftly.]

Excuse me.

[the calling out to him is polite, not yelling but the tone of someone who has just something small to say, and Chrollo points to the stabbing implement.]

Could I borrow that for a second?

[eyemask]

[ The torn-up doll doesn't go noticed. He hadn't quite expected there to be another person with just as much resentment boiling inside of them. Sougo's own resentful feelings are something more confused - muddled in with begrudging feelings of friendship - and when he does things like these, he's rarely being serious.

But somehow, this other person's mistreatment of their doll doesn't feel like a gag scene at all.

He takes a moment to study Chrollo, before tossing the blade over. ] Knock yourself out.

iii

[sayonaradumbass]

[Either someone really hates dolls or he didn't get a doll of someone who has warm and fuzzy memories associated with them, either. Kaneda's crouched down by a particularly stinky bog, just watching Sougo for a moment or two.

He dangles his own doll in his fingers, holding it by a tiny ankle.]

Hey, lemme borrow that. Unless you've got something better? Like a gun or something.

[eyemask]

[ ooc: i had to stop tagging the tdm to focus on app stuff, so to avoid confusion we can say it's their first meeting again!

He's getting a little bored of just the stabbing, so he does hand the knife over -- if only to see what the other guy will do with it. ]

So you got some irritating guy in your life too, huh?

iii.

[unswerved]

[ what the hell is this tiny swordsman doing with a doll of anna?! THIS PERVERT. YATA BETTER TEACH HIM A LESSON— ]

Hey! What do you think you're doing with that?!

[ he isn't grabbing sougo by the shirt or anything like the icon, but he is grabbing the doll to take possession of it. ]

[eyemask]

[ 'Tiny'?? Excuse you, Yata, he's taller than you. As Yata tugs, Sougo's grip doesn't relent. He may not be tugging back with as much enthusiasm (he's incapable of that), but he sure is making sure the doll stays in his possession.

Why? Because he still wants to stab Hijikata!! ] What does it looks like I'm doing?

[ Chewing some gum ... and being a sadist, evidently. ] Sending it to the seven depths of purgatory.

phase ii! the babysitting already begins

[adornmental]

[It's not like Kashuu wants to dropkick him for being an asshole, okay. He even found this pretty entertaining for the first few minutes! But time goes on and it just becomes more and more clear that this punk isn't gonna let up. Meanwhile, this poor "family" is clearly suffering. He's pretty sure he just saw Yamaguchi's soul fly out of his nose and vaporize into thin air...]

Hey. [Hey.] Don't you think these guys have had a hard enough time already? Don't punish 'em more just because they were dumb enough to trust these drinks.

[Rude, Kashuu.]

yesss good

[eyemask]

Who's punishing them? I'm helping them out, since they can't move -- [ Helping in what way??????????? Truthfully, Sougo's just really bored and sick of being stuck in this cabin. This is the only way to entertain himself. Hey, at least no one's being physically harmed? ]

Yamaguchi-kun's always wanted to sit at a table and eat dinner with his parents. Isn't that right? [ He pats 'Yamaguchi' on the shoulder, as if awaiting his response. No such response comes, though, because the guy's soul has long ascended to the next world. ]

IV FROM ONE NEVER TIRED READER TO ANOTHER

[corona]

[ Rapunzel (and, by extension, the tentacle she's wrapped in) is thrown back by the force of the amputation and immediately, instinctively raises arms to cover her head in the impact, which is cushioned, luckily, by the suction cups. Now that she's stuck there, though, she has to kick her way out of the tentacle's grasp, grunting and doing the Rapunzel equivalent of swearing ("Sunshining slime everywhere...!")

Wait. What's this?

Oh, great, more people who like their near death experiences with witty lines and snarky humour.

What's a girl to do but imitate? ]

I have a name. [ peeling her stick thing from the tentacle's grip, totally oblivous to whatever fighting her saviour may or may not be doing ] And could I get a maybe a warning next time? You almost killed me!

[eyemask]

[ wow who actually swears like that ???? Come to think of it, her long hair reminds him of a certain western story he's heard. ]

Hey, now. I was saving you, woman. A totally different kind of scene was going to happen there. [ One that is very R-rated, and because Rapunzel is a cinnamon bun, it will not be further discussed in this introspection. The monster lets out a deafening roar, lunging forward in its rage. Okay, if alone, he might have a small chance of taking that thing on. But now that he actually has an irritating girl to protect --

The only option is to run.

Sougo tackles Rapunzel, hoisting her over his shoulder like she's some potato sack and making a dash in another direction. In his deadpan way, he makes his choice known.] Okay, run awaaay.

[ With Rapunzel's hair trailing behind them, though, and the monster fighting to grab hold of it, they probably won't get very far. ]

ii!

[kirkwalled]

[ hawke was just trying to find someplace to dry off outside of the swamp when she enters the cabin and sees... this. she pauses, hand on the doorknob and one foot inside as she takes in the whole thing.

uh. right. an awkward cough here and -- ]

Is this a sex thing? This feels like a sex thing.

[ what in the world is a love hotel though ]

[eyemask]

[ it's not a sex thing until the chains come out .... he's still deciding if he wants that in his story

Anyway, if this newcomer is stupid enough to try the drinks, he might have someone to play the homewrecking mistress. ]

You sure have a dirty mind there, big sis. Can't you see this is a simple family dinner?

ii

[spes_phthisica]

[Here are the facts: Souji had actually been pretty thirsty when arriving at the cabin, and had figured that however unpleasant the effects of the drink were, it probably wouldn't kill him. A while after it took affect, some other poor saps had come along and ended up the same way. Souji had also been dressed in his work outfit from the tea house at the time, meaning a very feminine kimono, make-up and hairdo. So yes, indeed, he's currently "mom".

While being trapped in slo-mo land isn't pleasant, he honestly isn't that bothered by Sougo's weird antics. He's playing, right? It's sort of fun, really. And as the health drink effects finally wear off at least for him, he lets out a tiny giggle.]

It's a very nice thought, but you know, I can be a pretty jealous person. I'm not sure I'd just let something like that pass. [His voice is pretty boyish, so it might not be entirely obvious that he's not a woman just yet to be honest.]

[eyemask]

[ There's a blink. It looks like one of his victims are coming around. And they --

don't want to beat the shit out of him??? That wasn't quite as expected. He was foreseeing having to knock some people out once they came around to avoid being punished for his sinful actions, but this person seems completely fine with it. ]

Ah, Big Sis. You're awake. [ And that's ... all he says. No apology or any acknowledgement of his deeds at all. ]

iv!!

[hoasen]

[Too bad she doesn't have anything to read on her nice exercise shirt right now, so maybe this monster is near-sighted. If she was about to be grabbed, this hero(?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) has already stopped that by turning this into a gore-fest.]

A-ah, I wonder if it is upset about the tentacle or what you told it. [She's ready to leap into action anyway! Or run away. Lift him away. The options are endless.]

[eyemask]

[ what hero tho ]

Well, getting mad's not going to solve anything. In fact, the people who lose their cool only come out looking more pathetic. [ And that's said in the most listless way, even if his life is technically in danger. The monster starts to thrash about even more, as if it heard Sougo's piercing words and is getting even more upset about them.

Running away is on his mind too, because taking the beast on only looks like it'll be a pain, but he's quickly swept off his feet about his savior... ah.... ] Hey.

[ pls!! he can run!!!! ]

iv

[bulked]

[ It's a good thing Sougo helps him out, because Akihiko's in his usual shirtless state, meaning that his label is printed on his butt...

So the scene was starting to get pretty tentacle hentai before Sougo saved the day, and the monster cries out in agony.

Okay, he'll help fight, but he's gotta get one thing straight. Insulting his fitness was just unforgivable. ]

My cholesterol levels are just fine! Can't you read? [ He punctuates this question by pointing... at his butt............ which is perfectly reasonable and not weird??? ] And I'll have you know I always follow a balanced diet and training regime! [ He looks more ready to fight Sougo than the monster.

He's only brought back to the situation at hand by another tentacle rushing towards him, which he...

punches...........!!!

it's surprisingly effective. he doesn't mess around when it comes to being swole and strong, ok. ]

[eyemask]

[ This is such a lewd-ass tag. As Akihiko points ... at his butt, Sougo's expression flattens even more. Flatter than it already was. He couldn't look more unimpressed. There's a throbbing urge to stab it with his katana but given that they're in real danger, he'll resist it for now. Also, this isn't Gintama anymore so people might actually die from that??? ]

If you wave that thing around at me one more time, I'll make sure your shits are stained red for the rest of your life.

[ But that punch was more effective than he had expected, so this guy might actually be strong. Even if he really needs to put on a shirt because his muscles are offensive to look at. ]