[closed] every path is nothing but pain and suffering

[ohspearme]

Who: Harada Sanosuke ohspearme & various other people (starters below)
When: Up to about a week after the event? So ICly end of October, beginning of November
Where: All over the place
What: Sano gets to play damage control after the disaster that was his body-snatching. And also go drinking. A lot.
Rating/Warning: ANGST, booze, probably language, possibly violence???

Comments

[ohspearme]

[No, what are you doing, Heisuke??

Sano frowns, clearly confused, though Heisuke can't see it right now. But he stares for a second, then scoots forward a little bit so he can reach out and flick the top of Heisuke's head.]

Hey, c'mon, what are you doing? Who said I was mad?

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

[ He waits patiently for whatever sentence Sano deems worthy, and he can hear him moving, but the flick to his head was not expected, nor the words that followed. Sano should've been upset with him at the very least, not this. Heisuke doesn't understand!

Lifting his head so that he can look up at him, Heisuke stares at him in confusion, clearly not getting it. ]

But...!

[ Slowly, very slowly, he sits back, still trying to puzzle this out. ]

Why wouldn't you be?

[ohspearme]

[But what's not to get here? Sighing, Sano sits back, as well.]

'Cause if I'm gonna be mad, it's gonna be at someone who deserves it, not you. You didn't do anything wrong.

[Then he gently pats his abdomen where Heisuke hit him moments before.]

'Cause I asked for this. And...

[...Gods, now this is getting into Sapville. Don't judge him, Heisuke.]

...And 'cause you're one of my best friends. I don't wanna let some stupid misunderstanding get in the way of that.

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

Then... that's why I'm sorry.

[ Oh yeah? Two can take the trip into Sapville! ]

'cause before you guys, I didn't really have any friends. Well, not any I didn't chase away...an' I don't wanna lose that, y'know?

[ This is confusing and he doesn't understand friendship half the time, but screw it. If Sano says he's not mad, then fine, he's not either. ]

[ohspearme]

[It suddenly doesn't make sense as to why they're even confused or were fighting in the first place. If they're friends and they want to stay friends and neither of them are mad, then...

Then what was the big deal about?

They're okay, right?]

Heh. It's me an' Shinpachi. You ain't gonna just chase us away. I don't think you could even beat us off with a big broom. You're kinda stuck with us.

[...Ah, wait.]

No, that sounds kinda bad, doesn't it? I mean, as long as you wanna be friends, then we're gonna be.

[Because they like Heisuke for who he is. It's as simple as that.]

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

[ That's a small, hesitant smile spreading across his face, even as he ducks his head and fidgets nervously. ]

I don't mind... Being stuck with you guys, I mean, but...

[ His words trail off and his eyes drop back to the floor, the smile fading. For all that Sano says it, he can't help feeling nervous. He's never really talked about this with any of them, always just claimed to be some ronin. Hell, maybe they already know, but it's one thing to figure it out and another to have it confirmed. ]

The last one kinda ratted me out to everybody and told me not to talk to him again after I offered to help him and his family out if they needed it. I mean, it was just me and my mom, so the money we got from my father wasn't exactly used up all that fast, but I guess he didn't like the idea that we weren't scraping to get by, y'know? I just... don't really want that to happen again.

[ohspearme]

[Sano watches Heisuke's face closely, his heart lifting at the sight of that smile, however hesitant it is, but then it fades so quickly. But Sano watches and he listens, like he always does when it really matters. It's clear that Heisuke has a lot weighing on him, even more than Sano actually knew about.

But don't they all have things hanging over them? Things they'd not always like to talk about or think about. It sucks, but that's a part of life. They just have to figure out how to deal with it all. And since Heisuke has chosen to be this honest with Sano, there's no way he'd show the other man away. Besides, from Sano's viewpoint, this worry of Heisuke's isn't some big, tragic stumbling block in their friendship. It's just a part of his life.

So he gets up and retrieves the two cups of tea (now cold, unfortunately) and sets one down in front of Heisuke before settling back down beside him this time.]

Sounds like it was a pride issue more than anything. Some people are like that, though. And I get it. Pride's an important thing. But it can be a real stupid thing, too.

[He sips some of his tea and makes a face, setting the cup down without a word.]

'Cause if you're gonna choose pride over a friend, then you're the biggest fool out there. But what I don't get is why would you wanna choose anything superficial over a friend. If it's money or power or your own damn pride, none of that's gonna be there with you to share a stupid joke or a drink. None of that's gonna watch your back unconditionally. None of that's actually fulfilling. You know?

[Sano drapes his arm around Heisuke's shoulders, tugging him close.]

Now, if you think me an' Shinpachi are gonna give a shit 'cause you're apparently loaded, then say it right now. Otherwise, you gotta know that we like you 'cause we like you. That's it.

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

I guess so...

[ He keeps quiet through everything, only answering the part about choosing something superficial over a friend. He'd very nearly done the same thing, choosing a girl that doesn't even like him over friends. It's kind of a sobering thought to him.

But then Sano says something that makes him lift his head, blinking owlishly at him. Best to correct one thing right here and now before things get out of hand. Or, well, as out of hand as they did before. ]

But... I'm not. Loaded, I mean. He might be, but I'm not.

[ Lowering his eyes again to stare at the cold tea, Heisuke bites his lip, considering his words carefully. It's not something he ever really wants to talk about, but here it is: ]

I only get anything from him because I don't acknowledge him or look for him, and what I get is probably just pocket change where he's concerned. I mean, you pay off the ones you want to keep quiet. I guess all I'm really doing is taking a bribe to keep my mouth shut, which is really easy because I don't really have any reason not to, but if I did, it'd cause a lotta problems, y'know?

[ And because clearly this will make them reconsider liking him for who he is and not what he is, he continues. His very own "deep dark secret". ]

...Toudou Takayuki. I guess it doesn't really matter much since we're here and not at home, but... y'know, I think that's one of the first times I've ever said his name. I was kind of an accident, so it's not like I've ever really had it easy because of him, y'know? I'm not gonna inherit anything and he probably wouldn't care if I died. He's probably counting on it since it'd mean he wouldn't have to buy silence anymore.

[ Hope you like daddy issues, Sano.]

[ohspearme]

[Even if Sano doesn't like daddy issues, he's still going to stick around and listen some more. The confession that Heisuke is a bastard child is honestly surprising, though, but not in any bad way. It's just not something Sano would ever imagine, even if it is a common enough occurrence.

The hush money talk doesn't sit well with him, because Heisuke's right. It is a bribe. But even if he were to cause a stir, with his lack of any social standing, the most trouble he'd probably do to his father is make him look bad - but how bad, Sano doesn't know, because, again, illegitimate children are a thing that everyone knows about, even if they don't talk about them. And then at the end of the day, Heisuke would probably lose said bribe in the best of outcomes. And the worst...

He doesn't want to think about that.]

It's not a desirable situation, but it probably is the best one for everyone. But like you said, we're here. I don't wanna tell you to just forget about it, 'cause if you've been living with that your whole life, you can't just clap your hands and be done with it. You gotta stop talking about dying, though.

[Squeezing his arm around Heisuke a little tighter, Sano lets out a long, loud breath.]

But like I said before, you're still Heisuke and that's all that matters to us.

[The corner of his lips turns up, obviously to put some teasing back into their relationship.]

You numbnuts.

[wolfthatbarkstheloudest]

[ Rocking back onto his heels enough to pull his legs out from under himself, Heisuke stretches them out in front of him, leaning into that arm and sighing, the breath punctuated by the click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth. ]

Saaano-san, are you sure you should be calling me that? I'm not the one who almost got his broken, y'know?

[ Everything Sano says is true and he knows it, but at the same time, he can't help feeling like he's still on the outside looking in. It's not the best feeling, and not one he really had at home before leaving with Itou, but ever since arriving here-- no, ever since Zelien, he's felt like there's something off, something they're not saying. ]

It could be worse, though. I mean, I could do what Sannan-san did and talk about the ochimizu. [ He tilts his head back to look up at him, a smile on his face. To him, talking about dying is the lesser of two evils, because while dying isn't something he wants to do... again... becoming a rasetsu is even more of a big check in the No box. ] I'm starting to get good at it, though! The d-word, I mean... not that it's something to be all that proud of, 'cause I'd really rather not be just useless baggage to everybody, y'know?

[ His own attempt at trying to reinsert some sort of playful tone is a half-hearted laugh, the smile still in place. Or out of place as the case may be. ]