al saiduq/alcor ✵ 【アル ・サダク / アルコル】 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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estoria2016-03-18 10:47 pm
adminproof) wrote in estoria2016-03-18 10:47 pm
Entry tags:
✵ 001 // [open] program: joy
Who: Al Saiduq/Anguished One (adminproof), Otome Yanagiya (mombastic), Hiro Kageyama(theshiningone) & the Ticos, and the star, you, Cerealians! It's like a party up in here.
When: IC: 6/8; OOC: 3/18
Where: ViViD.
What: A completely not suspicious (but fun...???) health exam of some sorts, promoted and announced via networkwhich was handwaved, invited via personal message, hearsay, or this might just be another session in ViViD for you. Either way, please be their guinea pig. Guinea pigs will be compensated accordingly.
Rating/Warning: None so far! Just some virtual demon-whacking in ViViD for the sake of science.
► part A: DO YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS?_
[ Perhaps you've received a personal message on your CereVice inviting you to come here. Perhaps you saw an advertisement or (handwaved) announcement on the network that there'd be a special event in ViViD today that pays more than normal. Or perhaps this is just another ViViD jaunt for you. No matter the reason for coming, what pops up on the level selection screen are not one, but two friendly and helpful NPC assistants, here to tell you something so very exciting! The purple-haired bunnygirl speaks up first in her incredibly peppy voice: ]
Hey-o! We're running a super special custom-designed level today! It's basically a health exam, but waaay more fun, hee-hee! All you gotta do is play our custom level, AI Challenge. Beat up some baddies, let us watch you for a lil' bit, win some credits, everyone's happy!
[ The male butler (thankfully) decides to speak up and clarify the terms. ]
In other words, your performance and vital statistics will be monitored for this gaming session. You will be compensated for your time and effort, of course. The points you accumulate in this session will be worth 1.5 times more than normal.
[ Without further ado, he gestures with his hand and brings up a screen detailing...the dreaded terms and conditions. All the specific information is there (they'll be monitored about their health, stamina, spiritual energy while playing, for the sake of collecting data on ViViD's usage), but buried within the text wall they need to scroll down, unfortunately. Curiously, they don't seem to care about whether the players actually read the entirety of the text wall or not, only that they select whether they agree or disagree to the terms they've laid out. ]
Sounds super neato, right? So whaddya say?
[ Ignoring the two (totally very helpful) AIs and selecting the "I agree" option will bring them to a difficulty selection menu but...weirdly enough, there doesn't seem to be any other modes besides BLESSED and APOCALYPTIC.
Well then. ]
► part B: PARTY FORMATION_
[ The monitoring system can run independently of the ones hosting this, after all, so why not add their own data to the mix and get some exercise/training in? Upon selecting a difficulty level and agreeing to the terms and conditions they surely read all the way through and thoroughly, characters will be presented with a choice from one of three allies just standing around right in front of them. Everyone (including you) will have skills and statistics laid out in a window floating above their heads, because what kind of RPG would it be if there wasn't some number crunching, spells, and cheesing involved?
For players who normally don't have any supernatural abilities in real life, they'll find that they can pick from a large variety of them for this session, ranging from elemental and healing spells, to outright physical moves that allow them to strike multiple enemies.
Name: Al Saiduq
Handle: ???
Age: ???
Name: Otome Yanagiya
Handle: Otome
Age: 24
Name: Hiro Kageyama
Handle: Hiro
Age: 18
( ooc: Just state in the subject header which character you want! Alternatively, this option can be skipped entirely and they can go at it solo, leading to part C.) ]
► part C: BATTLE START!_
[ Now that their party's been set up and they'vesigned away their souls (hopefully) learned about what they're getting into, it's time for the main event to begin! The two AI navigators from earlier will appear right in front of the party. ]
Welcome! Welcome, from the bottom of my heart.
Hi, sweetie! I'm sooo happy you're here!
You are now inside our custom level. Since you have come all the way here to grace us with your presence and agree to assist us, I wish to entertain you to the fullest extent possible. I assume for those like you, there would be no greater entertainment than the challenge, the rigor, and the excitement of combat! I have prepared a number of demons for your battling enjoyment.
The rules are simple! Last one standing is the winner! By the way, I'm like, super-duper strong. Check out the guns!
[ Blows air kisses at her (quite frankly non-existent) biceps. ]
We will try not to be a dull encounter. After all, your happiness is our happiness.
[ And with that, they teleport away, each one far away at opposite ends of the stage. The rest of the field however, will be suddenly be littered with packs of demons. Some of them will definitely look as tough as they are, while others might seem more...disarming. No matter what however, they'll certainly pack a punch and rush at you (and/or your ally) as soon as they spot you! Fortunately, their own stats and moves will be displayed above their heads in a floating box too, including any (randomized) weaknesses! ...And resistances.
Victory: Defeat Tico
Defeat: All allies are defeated. ]
adminproof), Otome Yanagiya (mombastic), Hiro Kageyama(theshiningone) & the Ticos, and the star, you, Cerealians! It's like a party up in here.
When: IC: 6/8; OOC: 3/18
Where: ViViD.
What: A completely not suspicious (but fun...???) health exam of some sorts, promoted and announced via network
Rating/Warning: None so far! Just some virtual demon-whacking in ViViD for the sake of science.
► part A: DO YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS?_
[ Perhaps you've received a personal message on your CereVice inviting you to come here. Perhaps you saw an advertisement or (
Hey-o! We're running a super special custom-designed level today! It's basically a health exam, but waaay more fun, hee-hee! All you gotta do is play our custom level, AI Challenge. Beat up some baddies, let us watch you for a lil' bit, win some credits, everyone's happy!
[ The male butler (thankfully) decides to speak up and clarify the terms. ]
In other words, your performance and vital statistics will be monitored for this gaming session. You will be compensated for your time and effort, of course. The points you accumulate in this session will be worth 1.5 times more than normal.
[ Without further ado, he gestures with his hand and brings up a screen detailing...the dreaded terms and conditions. All the specific information is there (they'll be monitored about their health, stamina, spiritual energy while playing, for the sake of collecting data on ViViD's usage), but buried within the text wall they need to scroll down, unfortunately. Curiously, they don't seem to care about whether the players actually read the entirety of the text wall or not, only that they select whether they agree or disagree to the terms they've laid out. ]
Sounds super neato, right? So whaddya say?
[ Ignoring the two (totally very helpful) AIs and selecting the "I agree" option will bring them to a difficulty selection menu but...weirdly enough, there doesn't seem to be any other modes besides BLESSED and APOCALYPTIC.
Well then. ]
► part B: PARTY FORMATION_
[ The monitoring system can run independently of the ones hosting this, after all, so why not add their own data to the mix and get some exercise/training in? Upon selecting a difficulty level and agreeing to the terms and conditions they surely read all the way through and thoroughly, characters will be presented with a choice from one of three allies just standing around right in front of them. Everyone (including you) will have skills and statistics laid out in a window floating above their heads, because what kind of RPG would it be if there wasn't some number crunching, spells, and cheesing involved?
For players who normally don't have any supernatural abilities in real life, they'll find that they can pick from a large variety of them for this session, ranging from elemental and healing spells, to outright physical moves that allow them to strike multiple enemies.
Name: Al Saiduq
Handle: ???
Age: ???
Name: Otome Yanagiya
Handle: Otome
Age: 24
Name: Hiro Kageyama
Handle: Hiro
Age: 18
( ooc: Just state in the subject header which character you want! Alternatively, this option can be skipped entirely and they can go at it solo, leading to part C.) ]
► part C: BATTLE START!_
[ Now that their party's been set up and they've
Welcome! Welcome, from the bottom of my heart.
Hi, sweetie! I'm sooo happy you're here!
You are now inside our custom level. Since you have come all the way here to grace us with your presence and agree to assist us, I wish to entertain you to the fullest extent possible. I assume for those like you, there would be no greater entertainment than the challenge, the rigor, and the excitement of combat! I have prepared a number of demons for your battling enjoyment.
The rules are simple! Last one standing is the winner! By the way, I'm like, super-duper strong. Check out the guns!
[ Blows air kisses at her (
We will try not to be a dull encounter. After all, your happiness is our happiness.
[ And with that, they teleport away, each one far away at opposite ends of the stage. The rest of the field however, will be suddenly be littered with packs of demons. Some of them will definitely look as tough as they are, while others might seem more...disarming. No matter what however, they'll certainly pack a punch and rush at you (and/or your ally) as soon as they spot you! Fortunately, their own stats and moves will be displayed above their heads in a floating box too, including any (randomized) weaknesses! ...And resistances.
Victory: Defeat Tico
Defeat: All allies are defeated. ]
no subject
Clearing a crowd like this? Easily done with a bit of belfire~]
Sure, sure. I'll get rid of the first wave.
[He lifted his hand up as he focused, already picking out his first few targets. He'll incinerate the front row, then force the flames to explode into the ranks - and due to the unique nature of his flames, he could just let the chaos start. It'd feed off the demons, growing stronger and stronger the more bodies tossed into the fray, until it developed a primitive mind of its own. Then Kaz could just kick back and relax~
Or. So. That was the plan.
Reality was much different. Kaz lifted his hand. Kaz focused. Kaz picked out his targets. Kaz reached out for Bel to draw upon its power. Only problem was: there was nothing there. Nothing. No overpowered demon magic, no belfire, no nothing. All there was was Kaz, his growing confusion, and a backdrop of alien amusement coming from Bel itself, lurking as it did in his subconscious.
In short, Kaz was back to pre-Bel abilities. COMP skills only, and all the limitations they were bound by with no demons as back up. Well then.]
Uh. [The noise he made upon this realisation could only be described as detached confusion] Huh. Um. Hiro. Don't wanna alarm you but, uh, my powers are gone. Randomly.
[He was so fucked]
no subject
Heehee, that's right! You see, if you don't break a sweat, it's no fun at all, and it'd skew the results. So we temporarily sealed some of your more cheaty abilities. That applies to you too, sweetie!
[ She says, almost rubbing salt in the wound by blowing a kiss toward Hiro and his party member. Male Tico gives them a humble bow. ]
His Excellency giveth and he taketh away. Ah, but you two should have no cause for concern. Your own skills and talents have gotten you this far, after all, correct? Now it can truly be called a challenge worthy of you both.
[
we world of meritocracy now, boys]no subject
What. The. Fuck. Impossible. Impossible. This was like a slap in the face to all of his past victories up till now. No, he was being turned into a joke. He loved jokes, but the last thing he wanted was be turned into a bad joke. He liked to make fun of people sometimes, but hated to be made fun of!
Not only do they betray his trust, they have the right to laugh in his face and make him look uncool? Him? Hiro Kageyama? Looking uncool?! Hiro had a lot of patience and tolerance, but they committed three strikes in his eyes and the Ticos were officially out.
There's an eerie silence as his face goes creepily blank. You can't see Hiro's expression through his bangs of hair. Then like a volcano erupting, Hiro finally explodes and points at the Ticos with the face of an angry vengeful demon.]
YOOOOOOU CHEAAAAATIIIIING PUUUUUUUNKS!!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!? I'M THE ADMINISTRATOR OF EARTH AND ALL IN THIS WORLD! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE AWAY MY POWERS LIKE YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN TIME OUT! FIRST, I'M GONNA CLOBBER ALL OF THESE DEMONS! THEN I'M GONNA GIVE YOU BOTH THE SPANKING OF YOUR LIVES! AND DON'T THINK THAT LOOKING CUTE IS GONNA SAVE EITHER OF YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO DEFY ME?! THE ADMINISTRATOR!? IT MEANS YOU'RE GOING AGAINST THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!
[Um. Wow. Hiro. Chill. Though in a bizarre way, this felt really cathartic for him.]
I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT AND OBTAINED THE FURY OF TEN BIG BANGS!!! I WILL SHOW YOU MY PROVIDENCE!!!
no subject
Then, very slowly, Kaz turned to stare at Hiro along with the entirety of the current demon population. He wasn't going to lie, he was kind of stunned. Hiro of all people exploding like a kid who had his cool toy taken away, like. Wow. Wow. Wow]
Uhhh, Hiro...? [Kaz's expression tightened, something like hysterical amusement bubbling up inside of him. This was too good. It was so stupid and he was going to die, but this was too good] You, er, you kinda sounded like a villain before his final battle with the hero there. A-Are you- are you gonna follow up with a "This isn't even my final form" too o-or... or wha-ah- ahahahaha!
[He couldn't hold it in. With a splutter and a cough - Kazuya began to cackle. Hysterically]
no subject
He's sane enough to not use violence against Kazuya since they were technically partners here! But he still had a right to complain! So he just reaches over to Kazuya to grab him by the collar and starts to childishly shake him about.]
--Oi, oi! Shut up! Why are you laughing!? You're like in the same boat as me, so what gives you the right to laugh!? Your little flame technique went poof! We're both in some deep shit here! Unless we put our heads together and try out the Fusion technique or something!
[That raised a good question... How did the Ticos do that again? Hiro definitely remembered how cool it looked, but how did that happen again?!]
no subject
Oh, Hiro babe. Sweetie, honey, darling, dearest, munchkin. I love ya, I rilly, rilly do. And we know better than aaaanyone in the world what kinda stuff you've been through to get your cool toys.
[ She gently places a hand on Hiro's arm. ]
...But I love His Excellency more. So-rry! [ sigh ] If this is how you react to your super special girl who's been with you since day one setting some boundaries for once, then I don't think this relationship can work out.
[ She then pulls away her hand and teleports back to her designated position. Male Tico in turn, clears his throat (even though he doesn't need to...at all) very loudly. ]
I believe that shall be enough for the time being. It is my duty to facilitate this process, after all, and like it or not, these are the rules that have been laid out for all of us.
[ And by "facilitate", he means holding up his hand in a very obvious signal of preparing a Megidolaon. ]
no subject
Forget any lingering feelings of bitterness Kaz may have. This made up for everything. He was totally cool with Hiro now. Utterly]
...d-dyin'... [he gasped, finally managing to wrestle himself under control - just in time to see the male Tico prepare-] Shit! Megido spell! Scatter!
[Which level of it he did not know, but after his encounter with Lucifer, Kaz had developed a knee jerk response to that hideous, horrendous spell from Hell. He flailed free from Hiro's grasp and immediately flung himself as far away as he could. If everyone was too far apart then not everyone would get hit by the initial explosion...! (Provided this was Megidoloan and not Megidodyne. Shudder)]
no subject
... Ugh. He just drops to his knees like he's given up all hope. A Megido spell would've been perfect to put him out of his misery.]
... I don't care anymore. Let me die here.
[He sounds so defeated...]
no subject
[ M e g i d o l a o n. ♥
A flash of purple, and then a destructive almighty spell quakes the ground and everything on it, its shockwaves familiarly powerful. That should have taken off a nice chunk of HP...enough for the demons to come back into play.
..."Play" might be an understatement, given how eager they look to fight. ]
no subject
Once the dust settled after the concussive impact of the Megidolaon and Kaz picked himself up off the ground, a bit bruised but otherwise okay, he quickly took stock of the situation. The stock being a whole horde of demons now converging on both him and- wait, where is that bunny eared moron? Where was his meat shield??]
This sucks!
[Frantically moving over to where he had abandoned Hiro to his fate, hoping the guy hadn't expired from just that one spell (seriously if he had Kaz was going to rub it in his face for an eternity!), he mentally accessed his "COMP" to see what spells and abilities ViViD felt fit to give him, since he lacked an actual physical one for it to base off of. But, hey, he was sure it'd be his usual heavy magic hitting styl-
Active Skills: Prayer, Samerecarm, Shield All
Passive Skills: Victory Cry, Mana Surge, Anti-All
Auto-Skill: Alter Pain
...no]
WHY AM I THE HEALER!?! [Kaz howled this to no one in particular, realising that they were more screwed than ever. Kaz was never the healer! He was the glass cannon! The heavy hitting mage! He was an awful choice as healer! And what the hell was this?! Not even a single offensive spell?! What was he going to do, swoon in the background Prayer-ing the shit out of Hiro while that asshole got all the credit (and EXP) in beating all these demons?! What if the credits were paid out depending on how many demons you killed in this hellish challenge?! Kaz will get nothing!] WE'RE ALL FUCKED!
no subject
Hiro felt good! No, he felt great! That previous attack had strung, but this made up for it! He even lets out a short Wachooo! as he attempts a mock kung-fu stance from one of his fighting favorite manga. Either way, he's suddenly standing next to Kazuya and looking as confident as ever. Almost like that whole moment earlier had never happened! Whenever he takes a breath to mentally review his build...
Active Skills: Assassinate, Deathbound, Mighty Hit
Passive Skills: Phys Amp, Ares Aid, Null Phys
Auto-Skill: Pierce +]
Hehehe... We're not fucked yet! [So he was granted a Physical Build, huh? Not exactly what he had remembered from the previous world and from the outside... But at least ViViD made him beefy enough to take down demons and the Ticos. No magic on his end, but that looked like it was all Kaz. Now he was starting to feel more hyped about this challenge now...]
Man up, Bakauya! Every pinch has a silver lining! [The silver lining being himself in this case.] Maybe I should've played dead for a little longer to watch you piss yourself. If you treat all your friends as 'disposable meatshields', theeeen... [Hiro mockingly sniffs the air despite the gross scent of demons.] This smells like karma crawlin' back to ya. ♥
no subject
[Kazuya said nothing, but his flat, dull stare easily conveyed the amount of loathing he held for the human administrator in that single moment. Why did Kaz make a truce between them again? Why did he pick him for this fight? Was he secretly a masochist or something? He must be]
Don't sass the only healer here. [he looked away to assess the current situation. Well, at least the demons had downgraded to a fuckton- oh, did he say downgraded? He meant UPGRADED because, wow they were respawning at a worrying rate] Now go and kill everything before I shove my foot up your ass.
no subject
[And right then, a demon launches a strike at him which he hops away from. Ah, no time for fun banter now. It was time to throwdown!] --Whoa, whoa! Watch it! Sheesh, these guys don't know how to be patient!
[There was more than enough fists to go around, he thinks! With that said, he was going to unleash a Deathbound on a few of them. Granted, the fact that he was throwing his weight around like this was starting to do a number on his fatigue.]
no subject
So.
As Hiro batted away the first wave with a well-aimed Deathbound, Kaz quickly bounded over to him, animosity set aside for now. With a flick of his wrist, Shield All was thrown up and he grabbed Hiro by the scruff of his neck with his free hand, pulling him back a few metres as he let the shield give them a few seconds to breathe]
Tch, tired already? [he let Hiro go, his fingers trailing from the nape of his neck to touch his shoulder instead. A gentle chime echoed, and Hiro would feel the rushing warmth of a Prayer sweeping through him] Man, that's kinda sad. Having low stamina is such a disappointing quality in a guy.
no subject
But certainly, he was kind of revealed to have Kazuya casting some support spells here or there. Even throwing up a Shield All would help stall those demons for a bit. A second saved could've easily added up to a better chance of victory.]
Thanks for the help, rookie. Those shields outta stall those demon jerks for a bit.
[After all, Hiro's been demon slaying twice in a row compared to Kazuya. Of course he'd be the rookie here. Seeing those shields up do give Hiro an idea or two, but he'd have to save that for a moment. More importantly, there was the fact that he knew healing spells couldn't last forever in the heat of combat.]
... Though I hope you realize that if you end up running outta magic, then we're both pretty screwed here. You've got a skill that can refill that magical tank, right?
no subject
If anyone's the rookie around here, it's you. [he shoved Hiro's shoulder in disgust] Asking stupid questions and shit. I've got Spiritual Energy coming out of my ass right now, so that's the least of our concerns.
[Already, what little spiritual energy he spent to cast Prayer and Shield All was pretty much replenished. With Victory Cry and Alter Pain, Kaz had, theoretically, limitless Spiritual Energy to throw around. And if things became tight, well, Kaz knew how to dig deep for that extra little bit. Shortened the life span a little, but hey.]
You just focus on flexing those muscles and hitting things like the meathead you are, noob.
no subject
[He looked more amused than irritated at the shoving. But in turn, Hiro will just flick Kazuya's nose like he was swatting away a fly. He felt sorry whoever had to team up with Kazuya considering he seemed like a bitter and angry mess most of the time. But unfortunately for Kazuya, Hiro loved messing with grumpy people.]
I'm just showing a little concern for my teammate. It's all part of Teamwork 101 if a dullard like you haven't notic-- [Ah, Hiro stops his witty comment as he hears one of the Shields shattering and one of those demons are lunging straight for Kazuya. With a quick hand gesture, Hiro will grab Kazuya by the back of his collar and pull him out of the way and deliver a quick Assassinate as he chops off the demon's head with his free hand. He lets out a brief "Phew!" before shooting a sassy reply towards their opponents.]
Hey, cannon fodder! ♪ Now I'm no food expert, but you might get food poisoning if you eat this guy! I'm just sayin'!
no subject
Ugh! You fucking-
[He hated this man. He hated him so much he could barely take it. He pressed his hands against his eyes and tried to count upwards in prime numbers, feeling his boiling blood settle a little. Geeze, even now, Hiro could rile him up like no tomorrow! Truce or not, he felt that there was still too much... bad something between them to settle around him. He really needed to bite him. Or gouge his eyes out. Or. Something.]
You fucking asshole. [he finished, somewhat lamely, because his voice had lost all heat and oomph. He lowered his hands, only to flick his wrist to set up another Shield All to stem the flow of demons. He looked resigned] Just shut up, for fuck's sake. I'm this close to biting your throat out and rending you mute forever.
no subject
For someone wants to be friends with me... You're givin' off a lot of mixed signals. You could try to be a little friendlier and I'll happily follow suit! I think I'm being friendly, but if I'm not being friendly, then I'm so sorry that I can't read what goes on in your head.
[For Hiro, it was really that simple as making friends was as easy as breathing for him. Not without some arguments or brawls, but friendship wasn't friendship without the good and bad. Hiro perfectly understood that, but he just didn't know what Kazuya deal was to paint him off as some kind of enemy...
Hiro hummed to himself in thought as he watched the demons still trying to smash through the shields. He didn't kick Kazuya's dog across the street or hurt a friend of his. He liked dogs and none of Kazuya's friends have wronged him from the last time he checked. There was that argument they had way earlier about on how to manage humanity and what not... But there were plenty of ways to do that. Sometimes, Hiro had to wonder if there really was a 'right' way to handle humans.]
You should really make up your mind, Captain Autism. You want this "truce" to ride? Or do you want your parents to keep paying your medical bills forever? [Rather rude way to put it, but went to show even as friendly as Hiro was... Even his patience was being tested here.] Make up your damn mind.
no subject
[Kaz kicked at nothing, scuffing the ground up as he resisted the urge to go stomping off - if only because there was nowhere to storm towards in an appropriately dramatic fashion. So instead he stood there, glaring at his Shields holding the demon horde at bay, taking a moment to breathe through the sudden flash of - something.
...
Though, Hiro did raise a good point.]
I don't know. [He turned back to Hiro, his tone troubled] I'm just fucking crazy, I guess. I look at you, and I just feel... irrationally angry. [He could admit that much, at least] I just wanna rip you apart, piece by piece, and do... something. I dunno. I don't understand it. It's coming from nowhere and I can't help but feel it, okay?
[But, now that Hiro's pointed it out, and he's actually voiced it... that was pretty fucked up. It was actually genuinely, horrifically fucked up. He really was crazy. True, Hiro wasn't human, but he was humanish - and it wasn't the first time Kaz felt like impulsive murderous urge either. He felt it, albeit on a milder scale, with Yu as well, who was definitely human. Who's to say this wouldn't continue with other people, with the emotion growing so intense that he actually acted on it? It wasn't simply hunger, it was more than that, and Kaz was alarmed to realise that he couldn't tell if it was an emotional bleed from Bel. It was just coming from himself.
...]
Ugh, forget it. [Feeling deeply uneasy, Kaz turned back to the demons - that was a threat he understood and knew - determinedly not looking at Hiro] I'm a psycho or whatever. There's your answer. So, can we just focus on fighting now? Then I can get out of your life if you want.
no subject
[There's no fear, sarcasm, mockery, disappointment or even judgement in Hiro's tone. It's just plain dry acceptance as in admitting the sky is blue. By no means did it make this okay, but hearing that was a better step than just pondering on what he done or what he hasn't done to earn Kazuya's ire. The first step to fixing a problem was admitting the problem.
Now Hiro knew how badly grudges could fuck up people - He took Ronaldo's beef with JPs and Yamato for example. Not to mention, he had to admit that this wasn't the first time that he's had someone or something try to kill him before he became friends with them. It might have been the reason why Hiro wasn't freaking out over hearing that or the fact that he could understand how it felt to have bizarre impulses that you normally wouldn't feel when you're not human anymore. While Hiro admit that it was awesome to be something different, it was also... complicated. There was that worry that he might not be himself in a couple of hundred years down the line or he'd start forgetting important people or--
Well. His own issues weren't the subject here.]
I don't think you hate me as much as you seem to let on. That word is thrown around and misused a lot, anyway. Like saying you hate someone or... something for what they are when you really just hate the things that they did. Big difference there. [Hiro couldn't say he was an expert at that nor a perfect saint. He knew what hatred and anger was as he experienced it plenty of times during the trials. Fighting the demons, the Septentriones, Polaris, the Triangulum and Canopus... He wouldn't had fought if he did not feel something towards those beings. But he tried to make sure that those emotions did not define who was.]
You wouldn't be working this hard to try and fix things if you really didn't care at all. That much is obvious to me. [That being said...] Anyway, I'll just cut to the chase. You don't hate me, I think you're jealous of me. I have certain things that you don't seem to have.
[Again, there's no sarcasm, cockiness or his usual trolling as he's being 100% serious here (for once). Ugly emotions usually start with a small emotion such as that. Hiro figured that there was no way that he'd be strongly disliked just by existing when he hasn't done anything seriously terrible.]
no subject
[At first there was no indication that Kaz had been listening at all. He was just staring at the demons batting against the Shields with a frightening intensity, as if willing them to break through and disrupt this conversation from ever finishing. They didn't though. That was just how shit his luck was]
You're right. [he finally said after a rather uncomfortable pause, his voice devoid of any and all emotion] I am jealous of you, but I hate you too. I don't want to, though. Hate you, I mean. Or even be jealous of you or whatever. It's such a pointless emotion.
[He was tired of being angry. It was an exhausting feeling, and Kaz wondered how the hell Naoya managed to nurture it for thousands upon thousands of years and lifetimes without burning himself up into nothing. Then again, with how persistent it was, maybe Naoya had no choice but to cling to it. It made a sour feeling settle in his stomach at the thought, empathising with Naoya's stupid grudge, when he had declared that he'd never sink to the same lows as him. He was above revenge and anything like that, he had said, before he had understood what being King of Bel meant. Before he had understood that assimilation with Bel meant he'd get to shoulder his own thousands upon thousands of years and lifetimes of rage and hatred and grief. That rancour was beyond mortal comprehension and absolutely terrified him, so Kaz kept it firmly shoved into the mental closet where it could fester quietly into some sort of mental illness. Didn't stop it from bleeding out into him, though, making him flare up and snap even if rationally, he knew it was an overreaction.
God, he was such an idiot.]
I'm so fucked up it's stupid. I need therapy. [he let out a small huff of self-deprecating laughter. He really did need therapy. Holy fuck] Whatever. Sorry, I guess. Probably snapping at you more than I should've, but, y'know, you are a raging asshole sometimes. Can't help it.
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[Now one would've expected him to say that you have to be happy always. But that would've been rejecting those negative emotions out right. Having positive emotions all the time wasn't a good thing either as you became blinded to what you wanted to see and ignored what you needed to see. He wasn't perfect as he may forget that sometimes, but...
Hiro couldn't lie to himself. He was an optimistic person who turned his head to the blacker colors because they weren't pretty to look at. And even here he still struggled with it. Despite the fact that he's seen the darker sides in humanity within strangers and his own friends. It was not an easy thing to accept, but he couldn't turn away from it. Humans were neither white or black... They were only gray. That's why he understood to an extent that there had to be a balance of both.]
I could call you an asshole too, but that wouldn't really help much. [Because it's not specific at all.] I don't know what goes through people's heads and I don't have cheat codes to understand people... Otherwise, I'd have everyone here be my friend and we wouldn't be in this situation right now. [Hiro loved friendship, but he wasn't stupid. He knew that it couldn't always fix everything nor always save everyone... But even so, he still wanted to connect with people.] But we were given mouths for a reason. To talk, connect and understand people. Even if it's painful, I still wanna do what I can for others.
[There's some firm resolve in his tone at that last sentence. It didn't matter if he failed once, twice or even one hundred times with someone. Even if it frustrated him, he'd keep trying to connect with a person. If he couldn't make friends, then he could try to understand them at the very least.]
Just tell me why you're jealous of me... or why you hate me so much. I'm not you, so I don't know anything.
[Stop making everything more difficult than it needs to be, Kaz.]
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Will you drop it if I tell you? Fine.
[His tone started to become snappish again, moving about restlessly - pacing a few steps away from Hiro, and back again, like some sort of caged animal, his gaze intent on the Shields. The demons weren't even pretending to be attacking them now - if anything, they looked more interested in their budding soap opera drama. Figures]
I'm jealous because you- [He stopped his pacing, looking like he was trying to choke down a full lemon, before;] You're everything I'm not. You... everything went how it was supposed to go for you.
[It was then that Kaz just seemed to... deflate. His eyes were now trained on the ground between them, expression flat]
I didn't want glory or anything, but I... I wanted to save everyone, y'know. Go home afterwards and pretend it was all a bad dream. But it didn't end like that. Instead everything went wrong, and now I'm some fucked up abomination, my brother hates me so much he tried to kill me, my friends are terrified of me, humanity's stuck under the thumb of a tyrant and I... I'm ashamed of myself.
[He paused, briefly looking startled. Seemed he hadn't intended to say that last bit - hadn't realised that that was what he had actually been feeling until it passed his lips. Shame... yes, that summed it up nicely. The shame of picking the wrong choice, the shame of becoming something inhuman, the shame of feeling anger and hatred at his situation, even though that was what caused the whole mess in the first place, shame in just... being a failure, while Hiro was an aggravating success. It was petty, he knew, but...]
You were... better than me, and it's like every time I look at you, and you act- act so proud and happy, that... it's like you're rubbing it in my face. You can even freely say what you are and...
[The anger was fizzled out. Kaz kept his gaze on the floor, feeling something very indescribable. That hurt, to say that, yet he felt a little lighter. Didn't make him feel much better, but he felt as if he could breathe a little easier at least. He didn't really care, he found, if Hiro agreed or laughed at him - he was well aware that the human administrator's opinion of him was pretty low, and Kaz found that previously aggravating quality strangely liberating. He could say anything and Hiro would probably still call him an idiot and not look at him with pity. There was some cold comfort in that kind of predictability]
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And really? Did it really matter who had it better (or worst) than who? Hiro didn't think so. Since at the end of the day, they were just doing what he could to help everyone. Being proud and happy were just traits that were generally him... Sure, he had to fake it sometimes to keep everyone's spirits lifted. Since that was the role that he felt that he dropped into and was satisfied with that. He always thought positively and everything worked out. But even then, there were times when positive thinking wasn't enough...
For a moment, he certainly does feel anger at Kazuya's pettiness. Who does he think he is judging his life as better when he's gone through two worlds of this crap and one world where he didn't even exist. If everything went Hiro's way, then everything would've been finished at the first world and everyone would've be living their peaceful days. Hiro would've been a normal teenager living happily with his friends right now. He wouldn't had the Administrative Authority forced upon him and he would not be the Administrator of Earth right now. Saiduq split it between everyone for a reason and Hiro took that as an opportunity and not a liability. But even so, it was pointless to play a comparison game between them.
Well, Hiro certainly does walk over to Kazuya with a horrific gleam in his eyes and a very murderous expression as if he was going to punch him - No, Deathbound his ass. That's right. Blow him away, laugh at him and call him a self-conceited weakling with an inflated sense of victimhood. The look on that loser's face was bound to be hilarious.]
You scum... [Not "idiot". Something much lower than that.] How dare you. Who do you think you are. Comparing our lives on a fucking scale like that!? Do you think I'm 200% percent happy with my choices? Do you think I was happy when I discovered nearly all of my friends were killed off in a world where I didn't exist at all?! Do you think I was laughing when I was living in the pain and horror with creatures attacking my existence and I wouldn't wake up tomorrow!? Do you think I was proud when I had to lie to everyone and watch my best friend cry whenever I had to leave him and everyone else behind to become a god?!
[Whenever Hiro gets close enough, he grabs Kazuya by the collar and lifts his fist as if he's going to really punch his face in and not stop until Kazuya himself stopped breathing. This dumb motherfucker would've deserved it-]
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