friday was Pizza Day, the best day of the week; (CLOSED)

[codere]

Who: Rin & Archer
When: 11/02, evening.
Where: Her apartment. Archer also lives there too, I guess.
What: All fate love stories begin in the kitchen. It's a true fact, wikipedia that.
Rating/Warning: PG13, cavities probably.

---

[ Sometime after this stupid heartfelt exchange of AOL chatspeak, Archer will return home with groceries??? Under the impression they were going to make homemade ketchup, she's got on a pair of gloves and a giant tub, with her feet freshly washed. ]

All right, I'm ready to squish all the tomatoes with my feet. [ HE SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF HER ENTHUSIASM??? ]

Comments

[swordboning]

[Archer returns from grocery land with more than a few bags on him. For Rin's job specifically, he has a few peppers, herbs, spices, and more than enough tomatoes along with other various ingredients that make up homemade ketchup.

When he walks in the door, he kind of just stares at the set up.]

....I didn't realize we were in ancient Rome.

[codere]

... ancient Rome? [ Looking down at her bare legs. The tub. Archer. His bags. Back at the floor. ]

...

...

Well how else are we going to make dinner-?!

[swordboning]

Normally, people use bowls. But since you have it set up and are ready to do the work, I can work with this.

[He takes the tomatoes into the kitchen.]

Unfortunately for you, we have to boil the tomatoes first. It makes the skin come off easily.

[codere]

I can use a bowl! And I can return this tub from the idiot I stole it from. Wait-!

[ Scrambling and slipping on the floor as she tries to catch up with him, she's definitely... energetic. ]

So we boil the tomatoes first? All right. I can do that. I can so do that.

[swordboning]

If you stole it, we have to use it. Otherwise, it'd be a waste of effort.

[This doesn't count as teasing because he's sincere!! Oddly enough, stealing doesn't seem to bother him in the slightest. Take a hint, Rin.]

Get a big pot, fill it with water, and put it on the stove. I'll start setting everything else up.

[codere]

[ Rin pauses with a blank look in her eyes. A big pot, all right, she knows they have one here somewhere because he's done a lot of cooking. Just... where? Scanning the kitchen, she looks around, trying to find out just where it might be. ]

Um. [ Fidgeting, she takes a bold stride towards one of the cupboards, but quickly steps back in her confusion.

With a face so red that it's spread to her cheeks, she raises her hand in the middle of the kitchen as if she were in a classroom. ]

[swordboning]

[He stares for a few moments before taking her hand and lowering it. We don't need to do this here.

He opens a cupboard underneath the sink and takes out a pot, holding it out to Rin.]

I guess I shouldn't expect you to have memorized where everything is. It's okay if you have to look around.

[codere]

I, I knew that. [ ANGRILY YANKS THE POT OUT OF HIS HANDS. ]

I don't need to look around because I have everything memorized already. I just wasn't sure w-which of our large pots to get since your instructions were so vague.

[swordboning]

My apologies for misinterpreting things.

[Truly, getting the water to boil wasn't too hard. Nor soaking the tomatoes in it for a bit. Once they were done, the skin peeled off with ease and Archer put them all in that big tub Rin magically had available.]

I think it's your turn now.

[codere]

You're not going to help out? [ Now that she's patiently waited to stomp around, she's polite enough to include him in on the fun.

The... embarrassing fun. Why can't they use a bowl?! They have plenty of them and this, this was going to make a big mess. At least she had the sense to rewash her feet with another smaller tub nearby full of water, patting them dry with a towel. ]

I bet your feet are big enough to be effective!

[swordboning]

I've been on my feet all day. No matter how clean they are, you don't want me stepping around in something you're going to eat.

[It kind of didn't count because he was a heroic spirit and did they even GET dirty? Saber nonwithstanding.]

If you're embarrassed, I won't laugh and whatever happens here will stay between me and you. Since you know I don't lie, you can trust me.

[codere]

[ Maybe... ] It w-wasn't as if I was worried about those kind of things.

[ She totally was. ]

Even if I slip and fall over in the tub, you won't make fun of me? You won't even record it to send to everyone who hates me?

[swordboning]

[He could say something about how he realizes how difficult this is for her! Or anything along those lines.

But he won't because that'll scare her away like a deer or something.]

I promise. If you get hint that I do, you can chose to do whatever you like to me in return.

[codere]

All right, then it's time for me to smash the heck out of these tomatoes!

[ This is going to be the best part of cooking ever, isn't it? At first she has a lot of energy for it, but once she starts sliding around she approaches it logically with calculated gentle stomps. ]

[swordboning]

[I hope she didn't have athlete's foot. That would be terrible.

But he does refrain from laughing, filming, or even making a somewhat amused face. Just as promised.]

Looks like we get more done faster this way.

[codere]

[ Not unless he's given it to her in the past two weeks or whatever GEEZ!! She was digital data before she showed up here..................................... ]

How many bottles will this make? [ She pauses to survey the damage with spattered tomato sauce around her feet and on the floor. Oops, just a bit too eager at the start. ] I should have put down more towels.

[swordboning]

Enough to satisfy your desire for a short while.

[Now he's shaking his head a little.]

The more you splatter, the less, however. I'm going to start mixing up the spices.

[codere]

This mess! It isn't intentional, you know!

[ She's going to die of embarrassment. ]

[swordboning]

I know that. If it was, I'd have you clean it up.

[At least she escaped from that portion of this job.]

Now finish up while I get ready.

[codere]

You're leaving me alone? [ WITH ALL THE SAUCE?

This is a horrible Kodak moment just waiting to happen. ]

[swordboning]

I'll be in the next room. Is that really going to be a problem?

[Try not to ruin your clothes, Rin.]

[codere]

No, no it won't.

I can handle this all on my own. [ She says as she happily resumes her stomping around.

... hope they're on the ground level. ]

[swordboning]

When you're done, bring it to the kitchen.

[She seems fine here. Time to get the other stuff done. Maybe she can enjoy some fries later.]

[codere]

[ YAY GREASE STICKS.

After a few minutes she does manage to make her way to the kitchen with the tub, dragging it all hunched over like a lazy bum would instead of picking it up herself.

At least she was nice enough to wipe her feet off so she's not dragging in mashed up tomato all over his nice carpet. ]

I ate some of it.

[swordboning]

That's fine. There's nothing raw with snacking on raw tomato.

[It's all up to her! But he effortlessly picks up the tub and starts pouring it into the pot he has prepared, sets it on low, and puts on the lid.]

Now we wait.

[codere]

[ And she sits around mostly a mess. He's going to be cleaning tomato out of the furniture and carpet for weeks.

... or Shirou is.
Probably Shirou, let's be real here. ]

Why?

[swordboning]

It needs to boil down. If you don't, it'll be runny and watery. Do you really want to put that on your fries?

[codere]

It all comes out the same way so does it matter? [ But gross, soggy fries are more disgusting to think about than poop. ]

I don't know how it'll end up solidifying once it's been boiled. Explain.

[swordboning]

The liquid evaporates. This is simple science, Rin.

[codere]

--if it's boiling, wouldn't it just remain liquid? I don't really get it.

[ She's clearly never cooked a meal in her entire life. ]

[swordboning]

The solids will still stay. So, as the liquids are boiled off, it'll achieve the consistency of the ketchup you're used to.

[codere]

That doesn't make sense.

[ ... says the girl who can put together a bomb. It seems she can't apply chemistry to cooking at all. ]

[swordboning]

I can't put it in a simpler manner than that, Rin.

[codere]

Explain it like I'm five years old, Archer. [ Please. ]

[swordboning]

I have already, which is the issue.