You know what everyone needs after rampant robotic attacks and another iteration of clone wars? A vacation! That’s right everyone, you deserve this. CERES understands what you need. CERES is here for you all the time, so never doubt that this is a pleasure colony, and they are here to look after all of your needs. Kick your feet up, relax, and let CERES Recreation and Activity Necessity Keepers (Team RANK, that is) set you up with your ideal getaway.
It’s as if you can sense the incoming relaxation and luxury before you even completely finish loading. There’s the warmth encompassing your entire body as your code gets transferred into this particular ViViD Level. A cool, refreshing breeze hits you. The sounds of waves gently lapping against the coast fill you with relaxation. The sun, the sand, the surfs, it’s all there – welcome to the beach, baby!
An echoing greeting message from the ocean comes next, if you can translate it.
 OOOOOOOOOOOOHMAHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHD.
YOOOOOOOOOOOORRRALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOO KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.
KYOOOOOOOOOOOT EEEENAAAAUUUUUUUF TOOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.
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PHASE I [ 08 00 ] That said, isn’t that breeze a little… too strong? It feels like it’s brushing up against all of you, if you know what I mean. When you open your eyes and look down, it becomes rather clear why. It seems that you’ve found yourself in some pretty interesting attire. Everyone. No exceptions. You appear to have two options – be overcome and scream like the Victorian maiden your heart says you are, or strut like a model in this stuff. Turn some heads! Work that up do!
But don’t worry, we’re also conscious about safety here at CERES! Therefore everyone’s also been provided a pair of super high-tech safety-tested appendage protection floatation devices (STAPFD for short.)
At least everyone around you is caught in the same sort of attire – and everyone around you also appears to be stuck inside a giant sand castle. It’s entirely malleable to what you want it to be! Want to see a fancy sand bidet? Feel like adding a sand statue in your honor? Think that wall should now be a door? Well, with enough perseverance, you can make it happen!
Just uh, be careful about getting sand in your… everywhere.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] Someone broke it. Not pointing any fingers, even though you sure do seem like a prime suspect, but someone broke it.
It almost starts like an earthquake with how the castle starts to rumble, the sand shaking right beneath your feet. And then the walls right next to you start to cave in followed promptly by the ceiling right… above your head. Oh dear. The sand starts to run and fall, losing its structure and shape. The hallway behind you starts to cave in, ceiling first and then the walls follow suit. Now the sand really is getting everywhere – but not just uncomfortable places. It’s in your hair, your eyes, your nose…. this sure doesn’t seem like a pleasant way to go!
Best to start running – there’s a trusty drawbridge to get over the moat (because what’s a sandcastle without a moat?) but who knows how long until that, too, is going to give way? Best to cross over it before it starts to shake and disappear too. Or if you don’t make it, hopefully you can land some pretty impressive airtime to make it to the other side!
If not, well...there'll be the sensation of sand crushing down upon you, filling your mouth and eyes, and you won't be able to breathe at all – and then you're alive again on the beach (but possibly in yet another new, uncomfortable, skimpy swimsuit). Honestly, be more careful, would you?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] However, once you do make it to the other side, it’s all smooth sailing from there! Or is it? Hah, as they say, life sure can be a beach.
Which is what this is.
Welcome to your Beach Episode, folks. Now that you’ve made it out of the collapsing sand castle, you’ve made it to the luxurious, picturesque golden coastline. Sure, you’re coughing up fine, luxurious, sand dust right now and you’ve definitely gotten sand in all of your crevices thanks to your swimsuit, but that’s okay! Go take a soak in the ocean or something or cool off with a smoothie. There’s a smoothie shack off into the distance, complete with a long chalkboard with… well, probably a few familiar names? And some unfamiliar ingredients. Sounds appetizing right?
That said, once you do ingest some of the smoothie with the name of a newcomer, you might suddenly find yourself feeling a bit… different. You’ll be taking on some of their traits, one of the most intense parts of their personality – or you might need to take a second to sit down because you’re suddenly seeing one of their memories. Whoa. What do they actually put in this stuff?
PHASE IV [ 1500 ] For the brave souls that venture out into the water, you have even more adventures waiting for you. Anyone who’s swimming around, wading in the water—hell, even looking at the water is getting scooped up and deposited in one of these giant orbs. But don’t take up too much room, because someone else is getting shoved right in there with you. Time to get cozy with your new friend, because it's only going to get worse as the waves begin to carry you out into this big, blue, virtual ocean. Hopefully the choppy waves don’t bounce you around too much or – well, you could always get really friendly with a stranger! Why not?
At least until it’s made very clear that fresh air does not make it back into these balls. That seems like a bit of a design flaw. Now what? Fight the other person who’s inhaling all your air? Suffer through it for swimsuit-clad fun? Or if you break it…. well, you sure are stranded out in the ocean. Or are you?
After enough flailing, you’ll be met by a giant, dumb-looking creature who will then eat you whole.
Everything goes dark. This is surely the end --
And then you're in Cerealia proper; it seems that was the exit to the level (but why there?) and you'll find yourself either in one of the fountains or the pond in the park. Either way, you'll be very, very well. And this time, that's not virtual. But hey, at least you'll have all of your stuff with you.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Do you hear that?
Anyone idle on the beach will hear a distant melody coming from further out into the ocean. It’s a beautiful, elegant song that automatically makes the listener stop what they’re doing and immediately wander toward the noise. It takes you a moment to recall – it takes a moment to think about anything now, really – but you remember hearing the smoothie shack owner say something about mermaids populating the beach. Could this be their song calling out to you? Whether you would normally abide by this kind of call or not, you find your feet walking further and further out into the water, the shallows lapping up to your ankles and up and up as you are drawn in by the song.
A rather classic song, though the usual instances of French are also replaced with the very enticing, enchanting nonsense promise of omelette du fromage........and then they try to drown you.
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no subject
Yeah, everyone keeps saying that like it's supposed to mean something, but it doesn't mean jack-shit to me.
[Okay, yes, he'd sat through the futuristic-looking slide-show, but it sure as hell didn't mean he understood it. Sounded like everyone was just looking for something to blame. He supposed he could get behind that, but it didn't change a lick of what was going on right now.]
It doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. Are they trying to make money or not? It seems like some kinda joke.
no subject
And it's not like Leon likes being the bearer of bad news—it's so uncool—but there's no way around it in these situations. He leans on his elbows on the counter, swinging his legs a little as he looks between the new guy and the blackboard.]
Ah, yeah, you just got here, huh? That's always the first thing they do is some weird crap like this on all the new people . . . they're definitely not trying to make money! It's a hundred percent just to screw with us! It's like, trying to get a rise out of us, I guess. Sometimes it's actually dangerous, but sometimes it's just annoying like this.
. . . I dunno, this one could be dangerous too . . .
[Some of those drinks are definitely not actually edible. Leon glances back at the board. Motor oil, huh?]
So which one's you?
no subject
I thought they uh- saved us or something. Wasn't that it? Something about the world ending and all that...? Why do they need to screw with us?
[He eyed the list for a moment and shook his head as he read the drink they'd chosen for him once more. Someone sure as hell thought they were being funny.]
Johnny Joestar.
[He pointed to the drink before glancing back at the new guy.]
Unless they're opening up a really big tab, I don't know how the hell they think we're going to smuggle that much money around while wearing these.
no subject
Heh, Joestar, huh? That explains some things!
[Looks like CERES was having a little fun with his name there, maybe. As for Leon, he was forced into one of those terrible half-thong pouch things, in red, so he's not throwing stones at anyone else here; they're all in this awkward situation together.]
Aaanyway, our money's all on cards and stuff, but even a wallet's not gonna fit in one of these. That's just the kinda thing they think is real funny, y'know? Once we get outta here, someone's probably gonna send you a whole thing to read about what's actually goin' on here, so you'll get it a little more then . . . but that thing's, like, a billion pages long. It ain't like I've read it, whatever! But I've been here long enough that I've been through some of this stuff, that's good enough for me!
[It doesn't make him the best welcoming wagon/tour guide, but it's something. After a beat, he does add on at least one real answer:]
Actually, I heard they make their money somehow through screwing with us, so that's why they do this stuff. It's somethin' to do with us getting pissed off and they "harvest our energy" or whatever. I know that sounds crazy, but that's all I know about it! Don't ask me how it works!
no subject
More than just the drink?
[He was used to people recognizing the name, but he wasn't sure if this new place would run in quite the same social circles. Not everyone paid attention to the Kentucky Derby, though you'd have to have your head in the sand to avoid it in the papers these days. The Steel Ball Run had caused a pretty massive surge in the popularity of horse racing, for obvious reasons.
He also noticed the guy hadn't given his name in return, but he had plenty of information. Interesting.]
The money is on cards? Like bonds or stocks you mean? What... What do you mean out of here?
[He'd gone from the meeting room to this beach and if that wasn't where he was supposed to end up, where the hell was he? The last of what the guy said made even less sense. How was putting them all in skimpy clothing and making them explore a beach going to earn them shit? Harvest their energy? What the hell?
He jerked a thumb toward the list of drinks and gave the young man an doubtful expression.]
You been drinkin' a few too many of these?
no subject
[Though he hadn't foreseen just how crazy. He'd expected to be met with disbelief about the energy harvesting thing, which he still doesn't even a little bit understand himself; he hadn't expected it for credit cards or the entire concept of leaving ViViD.
Shit. Where does he start? Leon rubs a hand through his hair, sighing. Coming off crazy never puts him in the greatest mood, anyway.]
Okay, okay, forget it, start over! This whole thing we're in right now, this ain't the real place we're living in, y'know? It's like an illusion! Are you from the past or something?
[To not know what credit cards are . . . maybe he's like William? That would make sense. Or even Yukina, who comes from hundreds of years in the past. Leon had met both of them after they were already accustomed to the technology here at least somewhat, but of course they'd have had a time too when they didn't know what credit cards or virtual reality were.
He hasn't noticed yet that he forgot to introduce himself. This whole conversation is a puzzle.]
no subject
This whole thing, like what? Like the whole shop here? The beach? The world? You're not doing a real convincing job of not sounding crazy, you know?
[His mouth twisted downward at the last though and he raised an eyebrow.]
How would I even know if I was from the past. It's gonna feel like the same present to whoever's in it, isn't it?
no subject
It still gets him on edge, and he twitches in annoyance, huffing out a noisy put-upon sigh.]
Look, you can ask anyone! You're gonna see as soon as they boot us out of the "illusion" and then you'll be like, shit, that guy was right and a hundred percent not crazy!
[He focuses on being defensive first, because . . . he's not sure how to answer the second part. Of course Johnny's right, duh. No one thinks of their own time as "from the past"! Maybe Leon does deserve some of his embarrassment . . .
Ergh. He shakes his head. Okay, he's got this.]
You know what year it is back home? Not like that always means anything anyway . . . but it's a place to start. Look, I'm just tryin' to figure out how much I gotta explain here!
no subject
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Calm down.
[Johnny was pretty low on options, so ranting red-head was going to have to do. At least he seemed to see how much strange it was to ask someone if they were from the past. How the hell would he even know something like that?]
1890. The year of the Steel Ball Run race, what else would it be?
no subject
And more importantly, 1890 explains some stuff.]
Man, you're gonna say I'm crazy again . . . but these people, CERES, they can bring all kinds of people from different countries and different years in, y'know? I've got a friend who's like from the same time as you, but I'm from like, uh, 115 years after you guys! Somethin' like that, anyway.
[Math is not his strong point any more than history is. He got that somewhat wrong.]
What matters is that to me you're from the past, so that's why you don't know about credit cards and video games and stuff.
no subject
...you're saying you're some time-traveler from the 21st century? Or- I guess rather, that this CERES thing plucked you up outta the future and brought you here, am I getting this right?
[He was disinclined to believe it without proof, but they were kind of stuck on ways to prove it anyway. Asking him to name the presidents or tell him about how they might've magically flown to the moon was just going to make things worse. He brought up some words Johnny didn't know though, and that was a start.]
Yeah, yeah. Credit cards and Videe-oh games. Whatever those are. Something important?
no subject
[Who knows how credit cards work?! It's a mystery to him. He might as well try to explain how black holes work, they're on that level of unknown. (Do schools even explain stuff like that?)
He swings his legs idly, kicking at the air as he considers where to start. It's not like the credit card thing is actually important this very second. He'll need to know when they get back to the colony, but right now it's not super relevant. You can't give a barista your liver with plastic.
So, video games.]
I probably can't really explain this without showing you . . . but this part we're in right now is a simulation. I said it was an illusion, right? It's like that, but made with technology! In the future we've got all kinds of stuff you can do by looking at it on a screen! You can watch people act out stories that move around, or play games, stuff like that! None of it's real, but you can watch it and control parts of it from the outside. This's like the next level of that . . . none of it's real. It looks like it is, but it's just a fake we're all part of. Kinda like if we were in a play or something?
[They had plays in 1890, right? He doesn't know, but if they didn't, what the hell did they do? Hmm.]
But later—think about it like this, the play'll be over and we'll all go off stage back to the real world. Man, does this make even a little bit of sense?
no subject
Plays left a sour taste in his mouth, for obvious reasons, since he'd been shot, but it did make it easier to grasp what the young man was trying to say. So, as unbelievable as it seemed, the place they were in right now was just like, some elaborate stage set?]
Okay, okay. I mean, that sounds sketchy as hell, but I think I get what you're saying.
[Did that mean they were breaking character by talking about it? Who the hell was watching a play like this anyway? He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed at his forehead a little.]
So then. How do we get to the off-stage part? Or finish this play so we can leave? Is there a script I didn't get to read or something?
no subject
Nah, it's not like that. Usually there's something you can do to get outta here faster, but they don't always tell you what it is. So it's like a play where they don't give you a script, or sometimes the only script they give you is "okay, go slay the dragon" or something. But the thing is, even if you don't do what they want, after a while they just lift the curtain anyway. It just takes longer sometimes if you sit around and wait for it.
no subject
Johnny opened his mouth to say something, but there was just... nothing. What did you say to something like this?]
Okay.
[Another slow moment passes.]
Okay. Why bother doing anything they put us here for then? If the outcome is the same either way?
no subject
Honestly? I usually don't!
[But it's not always that easy, so he'd be remiss in leaving it at that.]
But sometimes it's worth it if you wanna get out faster, or you might get some bonus cash or something . . . and sometimes they force you. Not every time, but sometimes you get people after you or they mess with your head somehow.
no subject
I just.
I don't see the point. I mean, some of what you're saying makes sense, but without a motive, it's really hard to understand, you know?
no subject
[Oh, right. He catches that a second too late and laughs, a tad embarrassed.]
Buuut I guess they don't got rockets in 1890 either. Either way, man, I'm as lost as you are! They don't tell us everything. Probably they don't want us getting the advantage, who knows?
[He hates it, but there's some freedom in it too; he doesn't have to think about what he doesn't know yet. He just has to keep his ear to the ground as the colonists figure stuff out little by little.
Finally it occurs to him that he hasn't introduced himself yet.]
I'm Leon Kuwata, by the way! And totally not crazy! I got kinda distracted trying to fill you in on all that . . .
no subject