( OPEN )

[swordsitter]

Who: swordhaus + cr
When: throughout july
Where: the three apartments swordhaus uses..
What: july catch-all
Rating/Warning: probably nothing, but i'll edit as necessary.

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[ sword mafia at home. ]

Comments

B

[dishevelment]

Please. I can't imagine that beast would taste at all decent.

[Not that he hadn't considered it, but he much preferred his seafood to be smoked and boneless. Squid was godly amongst seafood and, while Koumei still preferred fish over beef, nothing could possibly top the wonder of a finely prepared, multi legged, boneless wonder.

He looked up from his reading and regarded Kashuu unwaveringly, wondering what the man was thinking. While Kashuu might be partly responsible for Fishy's existance in their home, Koumei himself was partly to blame for how it ended up in Doudanuki's room.

He was merely taking responsibility.]

I'm trying to figure out the beast's natural habits, so we can maybe quell it's rage and channel it into something less volitile.

[Like having a Guard Fishy. Because that was a good idea.]

[adornmental]

[That also seems to be the number one reason why people don't go through with eating Fishy, too. No one wants to take a chance on an alien...

Also, it could be poisonous! Danger everywhere!!]

Eh... What, like make it a better tank so it stops wanting to eat everyone who walks in front of it?

[And anything that's dropped inside?? He knows at least one pair of his shoes has been lost to Fishy's bowels...]

[dishevelment]

Something like that.

[He snapped the book shut, a sign that he was willing to devote his full attention to this conversation.]

There's something in it's eyes that make me suspect that it's fully aware of what it's doing. We may be able to reason with it, and find a way to compromise and make all of our lives easier

[adornmental]

You really think so?

[VAGUELY NERVOUS, PERHAPS. If that thing's seriously that aware of what it's doing, it probably remembers that Kashuu and Hotarumaru are responsible for fishing it up out of its home in the first place...

Well, as long as someone else does the negotiating, it should be fine! ...Totally fine!]

I guess it does kinda seem to intimidate some of us on purpose...

[dishevelment]

Indeed, and the games some of us play haven't helped in the least.

[Particularly putting Fishy in Doudanuki's room. He knew it was a bad idea, but he had expected Doudanuki to demand the fish's removal, not keep it.]

Besides, a few too many shoes have gone missing, by my understanding, and I fear for my pigeon in this state.

[Even if it was just a robot, he had grown oddly attached to it.]

[adornmental]

[DOUDANUKI IS A MENACE AND HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED. He also needs better friends who won't put killer fish in his room for shits and giggles.]

I mean, I'd be pretty worried about it too if I were you. I'm worried about Cupcake but at least she doesn't fly around all over the place.

[Cats are marginally easier to keep track of! ...Very marginally, but still.]

[dishevelment]

Hatoha's better trained than that, [Koumei said, not even showing any shame that he's effectively done the equivilent of naming a cat 'kitty.'] It's the others I worry about. Kogi gets up to some strange business when he's bored and unsupervised...

That's why I've been taking Hatoha with me when I leave for the day. It's easier to keep him safe.

[adornmental]

[HATOHA. Well, Kashuu sure won't judge - outwardly, anyway.]

Yeah, he does. [That Kogi, a troublemaker.] Probably smart of you to do that, anyway...

[dishevelment]

[Judge all you want, Koumei has no shame in the fact that he's done the equivilent of naming a cat 'kitty'.]

Indeed. Now, if only there was a way to keep the apartments safe from a bored Kogitsunemaru...

[adornmental]

[People and their wild pet names...

He's also nodding in response to that because boy, truer words have never been said.]

Maybe we should get him more foxes to play with.

[dishevelment]

[h e a d t i l t.]

Have you seen the state of Mister Naki and Mister Kogi's room? They've plenty of foxes, and they've recently found another to play with.

[adornmental]

There's probably room to cram a few more in there.

[There is such a thing as too many foxes, though...]

[dishevelment]

I'm not going to take that bet-- nor do I have any right to judge them.

[After all, he is the man who befriended a flock of pigeons as a kid...]

[adornmental]

I don't think anyone here's judging 'em, at least.

[The fox room is cute and he likes it, even if he may laugh sometimes about just how many foxes they've amassed.]

Buuut we could probably go for a different option, yeah.

[dishevelment]

Oh? And what's your suggestion?

[About either Kogi or Fishy. He truly wanted to know.]

[adornmental]

Maybe we can get Kogi a second job? I'm not sure... Or we can just, y'know. Get rid of Fishy, but he'd probably be sad.

[Haru sure wouldn't be, though?!]

[dishevelment]

Doudanuki may be more upset if we did away with Fishy.

[Because s e r i o u s l y. He didn't expect the war sword to become so fond of the alien beast who may be silently plotting the murder of everyone in the building.]

[adornmental]

We'll just get him a better pet that doesn't wanna eat everything soft enough to bite.

[And some things that aren't soft enough to bite... What a determined fish.]

[dishevelment]

Like a rock?

[Kashuu. Kashuu please. Donut with a rock is dangerous]

[adornmental]

Wha-- Who keeps a rock as a pet?

[Clearly he missed out on that 90s fad.]

I was thinking more like a normal fish, or a bird or something. Maybe a little puppy?

[dishevelment]

Apparently people who don't monitor their spending; I've seen a number of rocks with eyes glued to them being sold in novelty shops.

[But, seriously. Who has the money for that when you can just make one-- if you even wanted one.]

I think perhaps a small sparrow might be best. The most damage it can be trained to do is ruining someone's shirt.

[Because you know Donut would probably train a dog to follow him into battle...]

[adornmental]

That's so weird! I haven't seen any at all...

[Now he kind of wants to find one, though?! It sounds... like an experience that he needs under his belt, clearly.]

That's good, too. I'm not sure if he'd like a little bird as much as a dog, but maybe we could just get him a puppy cybuddy that doesn't get bigger or something so he'd have to play nice.

[dishevelment]

I doubt size will stop him, Kashuu.

[Because he could seriously see Doudanuki teaching a puppy how to carry around small blades on the battlefield.]

[adornmental]

—Oh, yeah, you're probably right. He's pretty small too and he sure doesn't care about that.

[A RUDE PEANUT... But size doesn't matter at all when you have a battle cry that sounds like you're stepping on a lego and some of the strongest hit stats of all the uchigatana.]

[dishevelment]

Oh my-- do be careful about letting him hear you.

[Because, guess who would take the brunt of his anger at being called 'small' later in the night? Koumei, if he didn't hit a bottle of sake first.]

But you do have a point. The smaller warriors tend to be the most fearsome.

[For example: his baby brother.]