Entry tags:
(closed)
Who: Oz & Friends: The Musical
When: Post-event
Where: Out and about in the city
What: Various nerd bonding moments
Warning: None!
elsa;
[After all the chaos of Fortune-Telling Week From Hell settles down, it's time to make good on that promise for tea! Elsa seems like a neat person to know, after all, and even if their topic at the time had been a little heavy, that's just all the more reason to get to know her a little better. That sort of burden is hard to carry alone.
So after giving the directions and setting a time, Oz can be found sitting outside of the cafe in question. He's got something folded on his lap and seems to be alternating between people-watching and checking his phone, buzzing with the quiet excitement of meeting someone new.]
mabel;
[GUESS WHERE MABEL AND OZ ARE. That's right, on the best friend date ever. Ever. It's only just started and Oz is already having a great time, pressing his face against the CyBuddy displays and being stupidly excited in general over all these weirdass animals. Ciel has his big fat owl, so maybe said owl needs a companion...!
He stops in front of one display in particular though, where a very small dog with very large ears sits at attention, ready and waiting for the next customer to come test its functions. Instead of doing that, Oz just points with GREAT VIGOR and calls over to wherever Mabel happens to be moseying about, clearly excited.]
Mabel! Come look at this one! Look at its ears—!!
[This dog must be stopped.]
taka;
[It's nerd time in the library, time for all library nerds to go perusing at their collective leisure...! SO OF COURSE OZ IS HERE, looking around the shelves for anything that's been added since the last time he'd visited. Nothing really catches his eye yet; even with all of the books here, he's already read his way through most of the fiction section that had struck immediate interest and has yet to find anything actually useful in the non-fiction section, outside of how-to manuals for technological devices. He's almost at the end of the row by the time he spots it-
The familiar spines all lined up in a neat row. Finally. FINALLY.]
They have it—!!
[Oops, were you trying to read in a peaceful corner or actually get some work done?? IT IS PEACEFUL NO MORE, since Oz doesn't know how to use volume control when he's excited.]
yoon;
[Now that Oz has taken up trying to cook some things on his own, it also means that he has to learn to shop for groceries on his own... And normally, he isn't too bad at that! He actually has a fairly good idea of what makes a balanced meal and knows what he likes, so it doesn't take long to finish up and he doesn't spend time lingering in the aisles.
Today is unfortunately not one of those days. Living in the House of Eternal Sweet-tooth means that candy is never in short supply, but with all of the crazy goings-on lately, it's been a little hard to remember to restock the candy jar. Today, the grocery store happens to be having a buy 1 get 1 free sale, too, which means that all of the soup stocks and vegetables and fruits in Oz's cart are buried under a literal mountain of candy.
A mountain that goes sLIDING RIGHT OVER IN AN AVALANCHE when Oz takes a turn too quickly, burying the feet of anyone who happens to be nearby. SO, YOU, YOON. You are the chosen one.]
Oh— sorry about that! I guess I put a little too much in here. [An Understatement™. Oz will immediately move to start picking various bags of M&Ms and jolly ranchers up, though, because he's not a rudeass who makes other people clean up for him.]
ciel;
[IT'S 10AM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR OZES ARE?
In the kitchen, tiredly stirring around his oatmeal in an absent-minded way. Horror of horrors, there aren't even any sprinkles in it today.
Even though he tried his best to get some sleep the night before, he couldn't manage it. He's been wound with anxious energy for hours now, and it's exhausting, but there's no reprieve in sight just yet and even if there was, he probably wouldn't take it. He's got a lot of things to think about, some clothing to throw away, and apologies to make - later, after the general insanity dies down. But that leaves him in a limbo of sorts for the time being, and it's why he's staring somewhat absently out the window whenever Ciel moseys out of his sleep coma for the day.
His attention still snaps over regardless, and Ciel gets the same cheery:]
Morning!
sheba;
["I'll be meeting you for tea once all of this is straightened out." WELL THINGS ARE STRAIGHTENED OUT NOW!! And Oz, who needs to check up on everyone that he's watching out for anyway, will take any reason to make the standard "so did you survive" conversation pass a little more smoothly. Good lord, he's going to become one of the cafe's most valued customers in less than a week at this rate...
But that's why he's standing out in the apartment hall at around noon a few days after things settle back down again, knocking on Sheba's door.]
Sheba? It's Oz! Are you here?
[Maybe he should have tried calling first?! What a moron.]
When: Post-event
Where: Out and about in the city
What: Various nerd bonding moments
Warning: None!
elsa;
[After all the chaos of Fortune-Telling Week From Hell settles down, it's time to make good on that promise for tea! Elsa seems like a neat person to know, after all, and even if their topic at the time had been a little heavy, that's just all the more reason to get to know her a little better. That sort of burden is hard to carry alone.
So after giving the directions and setting a time, Oz can be found sitting outside of the cafe in question. He's got something folded on his lap and seems to be alternating between people-watching and checking his phone, buzzing with the quiet excitement of meeting someone new.]
mabel;
[GUESS WHERE MABEL AND OZ ARE. That's right, on the best friend date ever. Ever. It's only just started and Oz is already having a great time, pressing his face against the CyBuddy displays and being stupidly excited in general over all these weirdass animals. Ciel has his big fat owl, so maybe said owl needs a companion...!
He stops in front of one display in particular though, where a very small dog with very large ears sits at attention, ready and waiting for the next customer to come test its functions. Instead of doing that, Oz just points with GREAT VIGOR and calls over to wherever Mabel happens to be moseying about, clearly excited.]
Mabel! Come look at this one! Look at its ears—!!
[This dog must be stopped.]
taka;
[It's nerd time in the library, time for all library nerds to go perusing at their collective leisure...! SO OF COURSE OZ IS HERE, looking around the shelves for anything that's been added since the last time he'd visited. Nothing really catches his eye yet; even with all of the books here, he's already read his way through most of the fiction section that had struck immediate interest and has yet to find anything actually useful in the non-fiction section, outside of how-to manuals for technological devices. He's almost at the end of the row by the time he spots it-
The familiar spines all lined up in a neat row. Finally. FINALLY.]
They have it—!!
[Oops, were you trying to read in a peaceful corner or actually get some work done?? IT IS PEACEFUL NO MORE, since Oz doesn't know how to use volume control when he's excited.]
yoon;
[Now that Oz has taken up trying to cook some things on his own, it also means that he has to learn to shop for groceries on his own... And normally, he isn't too bad at that! He actually has a fairly good idea of what makes a balanced meal and knows what he likes, so it doesn't take long to finish up and he doesn't spend time lingering in the aisles.
Today is unfortunately not one of those days. Living in the House of Eternal Sweet-tooth means that candy is never in short supply, but with all of the crazy goings-on lately, it's been a little hard to remember to restock the candy jar. Today, the grocery store happens to be having a buy 1 get 1 free sale, too, which means that all of the soup stocks and vegetables and fruits in Oz's cart are buried under a literal mountain of candy.
A mountain that goes sLIDING RIGHT OVER IN AN AVALANCHE when Oz takes a turn too quickly, burying the feet of anyone who happens to be nearby. SO, YOU, YOON. You are the chosen one.]
Oh— sorry about that! I guess I put a little too much in here. [An Understatement™. Oz will immediately move to start picking various bags of M&Ms and jolly ranchers up, though, because he's not a rudeass who makes other people clean up for him.]
ciel;
[IT'S 10AM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR OZES ARE?
In the kitchen, tiredly stirring around his oatmeal in an absent-minded way. Horror of horrors, there aren't even any sprinkles in it today.
Even though he tried his best to get some sleep the night before, he couldn't manage it. He's been wound with anxious energy for hours now, and it's exhausting, but there's no reprieve in sight just yet and even if there was, he probably wouldn't take it. He's got a lot of things to think about, some clothing to throw away, and apologies to make - later, after the general insanity dies down. But that leaves him in a limbo of sorts for the time being, and it's why he's staring somewhat absently out the window whenever Ciel moseys out of his sleep coma for the day.
His attention still snaps over regardless, and Ciel gets the same cheery:]
Morning!
sheba;
["I'll be meeting you for tea once all of this is straightened out." WELL THINGS ARE STRAIGHTENED OUT NOW!! And Oz, who needs to check up on everyone that he's watching out for anyway, will take any reason to make the standard "so did you survive" conversation pass a little more smoothly. Good lord, he's going to become one of the cafe's most valued customers in less than a week at this rate...
But that's why he's standing out in the apartment hall at around noon a few days after things settle back down again, knocking on Sheba's door.]
Sheba? It's Oz! Are you here?
[Maybe he should have tried calling first?! What a moron.]
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[ Ciel says that more solidly and with a nod, because he is glad that Oz understands it, even though he's slightly concerned that Oz would do it anyways, but. That's Oz. At this point, he takes a drink of his tea, then stares levelly at him. ]
Just be careful. [ That's genuine and somewhat soft, but when he speaks again, it's much harder in tone. ] I can't pay rent on my own.
[ tsuns aggressively ]
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At least the aggressive tsunning provides an opportunity to shake the heaviness of the topic, which Oz takes immediately.]
I know, I know. You'd probably starve to death on the side of the road without me... But you don't have to worry, I wouldn't be cruel enough to leave you to a fate like that!
[But is this fate really any better.]
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[ hA SO THERE ]
[ Ciel does scoff, since maybe he's getting used to the 24/7 teasing too... He takes another drink of his tea, but the talk of the "affected people" makes Ciel remember someone else, and it's clear from his expression that he has something he wants to say too. But it takes a moment before he manages to say it, and even then, his tone is purposely distant, almost dismissive. ]
Did you meet Mabel, by any chance?
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[Said in the tone of someone explaining that the sky is blue to a first grader...
But then the topic tends toward a more serious note again. Oz is a little grateful for it, honestly, because outwardly-directed topics are always better for him to deal with and talk about than things that affect and bother him directly. While Mabel's memory loss was definitely upsetting in its own way, it's also something that Oz is much better-equipped to deal with than Ciel. He knows that much already, and the distant tone only reinforces that idea.]
Mmhm. Dipper and Peko, too... A lot of people showed up this time but none of them remember anything.
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Oz pointing out that Peko and Dipper had also arrived gets a dull nod, like an afterthought, and he nearly says "I don't care about them," but he thinks better of it. He had seen Peko, but had promptly run away from her. Oz confirming that she didn't remember anything only made Ciel feel better, but regardless, he wouldn't speak to her. At least his reasons there made much more sense. Ciel didn't like that so many people he knew from Dreamland were continuing to show up here, but for once, his concern here isn't paranoia. His expression is cold, business-like, because he doesn't want to betray the real reason he had brought it up so easily. ]
And what do you think of that? Is it a problem?
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But Oz studies Ciel's expression in silence for a few seconds, perhaps with a little more close scrutiny than is usual for him. He knows how close Ciel and Mabel had become over the course of the game, after all - to the point where he had negotiated to keep her hands as free of blood as possible.]
Is it a problem that she's here, or that she doesn't remember? [A gentle prod for clarification, though he'll answer both anyway.]
...It's probably better if they don't remember. Being here at all - I don't really know what it means. [Their number is definitely increasing... It's concerning.] But if they can leave that place behind, then it would be easier for them to move forward. The reason that they forgot, though - that might be a problem. Did it never happen to them, or do they just not remember? And if they don't remember, how long will that last?
[It's another reason why Oz has decided to befriend Mabel again. He's aware by now of people coming from different realities and worlds, but just in case that isn't so here, he doesn't want Mabel to feel alone on the off chance that she does remember.]
[muffled linkin park]
[ He answers that first, since he feels that's important, but more than that, it's also easier for him to answer. It's a simple, easy fact, and Ciel doesn't have to bring any emotion into it. Yet for the rest, that's more difficult. He takes another sip of his tea, then sets the mug down with a more difficult expression.
...It's still hard for him, after all. Ciel was resigned to his fate, and he had been ever since he left that cage, so it's hard for him to show emotion and let people in, because it made things all the worse. But he is at least learning, becoming willing to accept the sort of gentle understanding that Oz offers. ]
But you're right. It's definitely better if she doesn't remember.
[ Because in a way, that's what he had been fighting so had for. He hadn't wanted Mabel to bear the burden that such a place would impose on her, and so he had tried to take all the blood upon his hands instead. He knew he should be happy that she didn't remember, and he was, but at the same time, the fact that she didn't remember meant that she didn't remember Ciel either. Despite the fact that it's something he claimed to prefer and strive for, it was still painful to have it become reality, so there's another, careful pause. ]
...So I'll make sure of it. I'm sure you've already made friends with her again, but I won't. It's better if I stayed away.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/db2251593dec6b0d57d9290e1090f4bb/tumblr_msvfurYr1V1qzprdwo1_500.jpg
Mabel, in this equation, is a non-issue. If she doesn't remember - if she doesn't even have a scar - then that's that. But Ciel? This sort of self-imposed restriction will only hurt him in the end, and since Mabel doesn't seem to be at risk, it probably won't help her either.
After a few seconds of silence, he decides to put that concern into words.]
I know that you want to protect her and keep her safe, but if she doesn't remember, is there really much of a risk?
[Even though he's equally aware of the fact that, protecting Mabel aside, Ciel is also trying to protect himself here. Facing someone who's forgotten you is a painful thing.]
at least he's not kaoru
[ There's no hesitation in his words, and they come with a sort of weight that implies that this is something he's though of well in advance. It is, of course, but not in this context. He had struggled wit something similar when he had returned home and found Lizzie, the loving fiancee waiting for him. To him, it's the same struggle.
Is it selfish to push them away out of an idea of their safety, or is it selfish to still want them at his side? Lizzie he had to accept, since there was politics in that relationship too, but it was still a conflict he struggled with, so he had assured himself to make her life after he was gone as comfortable as possible.
For Mabel... That part wasn't the same. ]
It's not balanced. If I hadn't remembered the park at all, would you— [ He pauses, raising a hand with a flat expression, and he shakes his head. ] ...No, nevermind, that's a bad example. You would definitely still befriend me all the same.
[ oz is an outlier and should not be counted ]
But take that as an example anyways. You would know things about me that I would never share otherwise, but I wouldn't remember sharing them. There's a basis of a relationship in something that one person never experienced. That's just carrying on in a lie. It's deceptive.
LOOK....
No one can be honest all of the time, about everything. [Which might sound strange coming from Oz, who is usually quite truthful and open about most things, but- naturally, even he understands when deception is "necessary". Even if it's not malicious, which it wouldn't be in Ciel's example; even if it's not the same as deception when wielded as a weapon in the way that people like Jack manage it. Self-protective deception is something that Oz understands well, in the moments when he says "it's fine" or makes a promise that he knows he can't keep.]
Besides, that inequality would exist even if I never talked to you again, right? Avoiding you wouldn't change the fact that I know more about you than you would willingly share in any other situation, and that you wouldn't know anything about me. Is there really an elevated risk that comes with contact? It would give me the chance to get to know you again, even if things wouldn't be the same.
[Which he says in a particularly insistent way, like he knows "things aren't the same" is essentially the crux of the problem here, beyond all of the fear of hurting or being hurt.]
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He pushes that notion away, though. Even if that were true, it's not the topic of their conversation now, so his gaze averts this his hands instead, and he lapses into a silence.
It's difficult for him to express, because what he wants to say is tangled up in so many emotions and traumas that they all get jumbled together. He doesn't want to speak to those, but it's hard to step around them. It takes him several, long moments, but what he ultimately says is simple. ]
She shouldn't know someone like me.
[ He says it coldly and resolutely, and though he doesn't elaborate on why that is, it's not hard to guess. It's the other side of the evil nobleman that Ciel presents himself as. Anyone that gets too close is likely to be destroyed, since that was his family's curse. Even though he doesn't have his status here or his demon, that feeling it something Ciel still feels as a deeply rooted truth. He would do anything to keep moving forward, and that didn't change here, after all.
It's a deep insecurity, and something very telling about how Ciel views himself, but that moment passes as he looks to his mug of tea instead. ]
If she doesn't remember, then I don't want her to. Not even a fraction of it under different circumstances.
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He folds his hands together in front of his still-untouched oatmeal, head canting to the side a little.]
...I understand what you're trying to do. [And he does. Maybe if he were a different person with different circumstances surrounding him, he'd have taken similar actions.]
But is deciding whether she should or shouldn't know you for her really any better?
[Any better than a deceptive friendship, or an uneven one, or one where there's a small chance of one or both parties being hurt. It seems about even to Oz, who's giving Ciel another one of those looks that seems more observant than someone his age should be capable of.]
I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but I think you might be making a mistake.
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[ But there's less certainty in his words, because under that particular scrutiny that Oz is capable of, Ciel does shrink back despite himself. It seems like he won't explain, since he takes a drink of his tea, but he does speak up again. It's more awkward and uncertain, because this is a sentiment he doesn't often express without the guise of the nobleman to mask it and give himself confidence. ]
She's had a happy life. [ a pause, then he adds: ] A normal one. I don't want to ruin that for her.
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And you think that just making contact with her again would be enough to do that?
[The way he says that, his words aren't weighted in one direction or another. Not persuasive - just questioning.
Of course, he's asking that particular question for a reason, but he wants as unbiased an answer as possible.]
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Yes, I do. I may not be acting as the Queen's Watchdog here, but my viewpoint isn't changed. I hate sitting idly, so moving forward, I won't regret any moves that allow me to advance.
[ There's an emphasis on any that makes it clear what Ciel means by that. He's acknowledging that he's likely to get his hands dirty here, and he doesn't want Mabel to get tangled into that world. ]
Whatever this place is supposed to be, it's either just a pause, or it will be my end. I have to return home, since I've staked my soul upon my revenge. It's as simple as that.
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I don't think that there's anything wrong with being focused on something or trying to move forward. Stagnation is a really bad thing sometimes. [PUTTING IT LIGHTLY.
He seems to be considering something after that, though. His eyes drift from Ciel's face and off toward the kitchen instead. Then, softly:]
But if you fix your gaze forward so strongly, you'll miss the chances that pass by right under your nose.
[LIKE BEING FRIENDS WITH MABEL AGAIN. Either way, he can tell he's probably running into a brick wall here, so he'll just have to forcibly drag Ciel out to hang out with her hAH no escape.]
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[ He answers immediately and without hesitation, but there's a softness to his tone, however slight it may be. He takes another sip of tea, then sets it down again with his hands clasped around the mug. It's lightly, but it still gives the impression like he's holding onto it like an anchor for a heavier topic. ]
But that's a part of the price I pay. I wouldn't call it noble or admirable, but it's a consequence of what I'm pursuing. [ He sighs too, then shakes his head. ] It might be wrong of me, but I wanted to protect her because I understood. We both watched our brothers be killed, and I wanted to make sure it wasn't a demon's hand that she ended up taking out of desperation.
[ He doesn't say it directly, but the implication that he didn't want her to become like him is clear enough. ]
So maybe I was successful, since she's here now without remembering it. So that should be enough. She's a kind, warm person, so she'll always worry about me, even if she doesn't know me as well as she did. I have to let those chances pass by if I care about someone, because is it fair to drag them into my game?
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But it should be a "them", here. While it isn't necessarily fair for Ciel's acquaintances and friends to be dragged into a mess that's beyond their understanding, it's equally unfair for him to decide all of this for Mabel without any input from her at all; or at least, that's how it seems from Oz's perspective. Maybe, he thinks, it's because Ciel is afraid - much more afraid than he's letting on. They both know what Mabel's response would be. Like himself, she would choose to befriend Ciel again.
After a few seconds of quiet, thoughtful silence, he sits back in his chair, fixing Ciel with another solid look.]
Things like this are a little too complicated to put in small categories like fair and unfair. [Relationships are messy. Human emotions can never be boxed up so easily.]
I know that you're doing this for Mabel's sake. You're trying your best to protect someone that you care about, right? I think that part of you is really admirable. [A smile! It's definitely a good quality, that sort of selflessness, even it can loop back around to being selfish. But that's just a part of being human too, isn't it?]
—Still! It's my job as your friend to keep you from doing stupid things when I can, too. [WHAT A RUDE BRAT... But he seems well-intentioned and genuine regardless, and some of the intensity shifts out of his stare.] Will you at least think about it a little more? You don't have to say yes or no. As long as you consider it, that's fine.
[He'll work on the rest later. A first step is all he can hope for for now.]
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The solid look is met evenly, but when Oz compliments him, calls him admirable of all things, Ciel's stony expression falters. It's surprise, at first, but then he looks down, turning his eyes away from Oz's as he continues. Oz has gotten his moement, but it's a rather sad expression all the same. ]
I— [ He hesitates, because what he wanted to say was close to the sentiment he had expressed to Finny, but that was still too raw and tender of an emotion for him to convey. "I'm not admirable at all" gets rephrased awkwardly, in a sort of stilted way. ]
...I'm not really admirable.
[ Even saying that much is embarrassing, but it's clear that Ciel is touched, since he picks up his mug once again, even though it's nearly empty by now, and he uses it to hide his face. ]
But I'll consider it.
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Then that's that!
[The smile brightens, and his voice bounces back to its usual state of buoyant energy. There's nothing he can really do beyond gently nudging Ciel in a path that he hopes is ultimately a "good" one. The rest is out of his hands, but as long as he can at least make enough of an impact for Ciel to consider it, that's good enough for him.
But there's still a little more he can do, at least. He leans back in his chair now, tapping the palms of his hands against the edge of the table.]
Hey, did you hear? That sweets shop has a new flavor of cake pop that has the best reviews out of any of them yet, so I was going to stop by later today to have a look for myself. Do you want to come with me? My treat!
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No. They're my treat today.
[ There's a tone there of "and that's that," though it's hard to tell where that's coming from, since Ciel doesn't often offer. It could be because he had wanted to get Oz to feel better, since he was clearly distracted himself, or it could be out of a kneejerk reaction to avoid what he feels is pity. It's really a little bit of both, but he also doesn't want to budge on this. ]
...They are good, though. [ ciel has not only heard, but has tried them ]
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What? You already went without me?!
[HE'S OFFENDED.]
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[ ciel has learned to use technology to further his fattydingdongs self ]
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You signed up for their mailing list and didn't even tell me they had one?! Ciel!! I thought we were in it together! Food betrayal is unforgivable—!
[Betrayed by his own roommate.]
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I thought you were already on it. There's a flyer for it posted behind the counter, you imbecile.
[ how did oz miss this? we just don't know ]
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i thought i replied to this wtf
banishes u to the arctic tbh
i'm already here it's fuckin cold out
rip in pieces..........
we're getting two inches of snow on monday, there is no longer bread in the state
i'll remember you as you were before dying in the winter freeze
it's 20f out, i am already dead
omg i for some reason thought you meant 20f like 20 ft of snow...
oh no it's going to be like an inch of snow HAHAHA
LMFAO well an inch is basically 20 ft there...
fact
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