( open ) we're just like how rousseau depicted man in the plain state of nature

[puerilely]

Who: Shuu, Kaoru and you!
When: 14/11 IC; 6/2 OOC; aka today.
Where: The grocery store, the park and pretty much anywhere else around town you want.
What: Life with the Nagumos™. Today you can be part of their little sitcom by running into the two terrible demons around town.
Rating/Warning: Should be none.. other than S for Shitbabies... It's a little known fact that the N in Nagumo stands for Nope.

---

a - grocery store;
[GOOD MORNING CEREAL. Today it's Get Shit Done Day, which means Kaoru's out and about on the usual shopping routine for the week, restocking various household items and packing groceries into the cart. Nothing new here! What is new is this rude shitty punk who decided to tag along for the ride this time... The one that Kaoru is pointedly ignoring while leaving the cart off to the side of aisles to go peruse the shelves.]

[ And as anyone who knows said punk would know, leaving him alone is never a good idea.. it's probably why he's over here, throwing more and more stuff into the cart - most notably pretty much anything sweet or generally not very healthy.

In fact, if you're near, you might even find the guy turning towards you, two different kinds of bags of sweets in both of his hands. ]

He-y, I was wondering, which one is better..? [ .. he hums for a moment, but then answers before you probably even have a chance to answer-- ] It's both, right? [ AND INTO THE CART THEY GO.. you are truly faced with candy mountain here, friend. The stuff of legends. ]

b - park;
[Not even the park can escape Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Nope, Kaoru's been roped into flower-weaving shenanigans, which is frankly a little horrific after everything that had happened during the last event with flowers... Being a pranking shithead was fun at the time, but the aftermath was A Struggle™, okay.

Anyway, anyone wandering through the center path will be able to see one (1) reluctant demon and one (1) moron demon sitting off to the side in a patch of flowers, apparently making crowns... HOW BENIGN. Eventually, Kaoru puts the one in hand down, half-finished.]

Shuu-san... How much longer do you want to stay here? There are still other errands to finish.

[ Shuu doesn't seem as close to finished with it.. but he does look oddly focused on it?! There's apparently some dedication to these flower crowns going on here, and he shifts a little to hold his over Kaoru's head, as if he's trying to look how it'd fit. ]

Just a little bit more..! [ Judging by how far along he is, that probably means at least half an hour more, though.. but he doesn't seem concerned. ]

Ahh, it's just like I thought.. pink really suits you, Kaoru!

[ Someone please save Kaoru from his flowery fate.. ]

[Kaoru will save himself from his flower fate okay TIME TO CALL OVER YOU, INNOCENT BYSTANDER. With a hand outstretched toward the path:]

Ah— Excuse me! Do you have a moment to spare? [Don't come over it's a trap.]

c - around town;
[Those errands are going to be left perpetually unfinished, because apparently there are other things to do?! STUPID THINGS. By this point there's probably only one person here who still has a strong well of patience left and it isn't Kaoru. Do you know how much self-control it takes to maintain an air of quiet distress instead of open agitation when being literally dragged all over the city?? The answer is probably more than Kaoru has, even though a valiant effort is being made.

But oops, what's this?? The moron parade seems to be heading in your direction for some reason...!]

Hey, you over there..!

[ Polite as ever.. but they sure do just patter over to you. Or rather, Shuu patters over to you while bodily dragging Kaoru along for the ride. At least one of the two of them is smiling widely. (Hint: it's not Kaoru.) ]

Hmm, so.. how do I say this..

[ Shuu tilts his head back and forth a few times, like he's thinking, but then he speaks on. ]

This over here is my adorable granddaughter Kaoru, and I'm a little worried about her ability to make friends.. so, would you be interested in becoming her friend? Oh-- and if you already are friends, please get along well, for the sake of a poor worried family member too..! [ the chance that any of this is genuine is about 0,00001%, but hey, at least he manages to bring it fairly convincingly. ]

( ooc: JUST FOR REFERENCE'S SAKE these will obviously be threeway threads!! two for the price of one in one thread, aren't you lucky... )

Comments

b

[confind]

[ Lucky for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, Alice is the one who chose the wrong day to walk down the despair path, absent minded and with a lot of naivety; with his headphones shoved as far into his ears as they are, he assumes the only thing Kaoru needs from him is help (which is true, but not the kind of help sooha is thinking of. help with flower crowns apparently look at this shitty job).

So even though the fabric of existence is about to rip open and slap Sooha upside the head for making such terrible decisions, he pulls his headphones out and crouches down next to the puddle of shitlords anyway. What a loser. ]

Yeah, do you need something?

[ (¬､¬)(˘▼˘>ԅ( ˘⌣ƪ) ]

b

[poised]

[Innocent bystander is Natalia and someone now needs to save her from her flowery, vaguely demonic fate.

But admittedly she's very curious - and also thoroughly endeared by the flower crowns, they're a bit of a weakness of hers - and she's wandering over easily enough.]

Certainly so. How may I help you?

[Such a good citizen. Though now she realizes that she recognizes one of these demon shitlords and she smiles. She smiles and that's how you know she's gonna die because of him one day.]

Oh! I hadn't known that you enjoyed making flower crowns, Shuu.

c for can't stop won't stop

[sunshrouded]

[Shuu is totally convincing just like how Kaoru is totally convincing and this makes 2 out of 2 characters that are going to die because of the Nagumos one day because he's totally endeared and also v...aguely confused.....]

Ahh? Kaoru-chan, is this guy for real? Do you have weird ancestor things happening here too?

[But still he waves a hand and seems to... roll with it... and he gives Shuu a grin.]

Bahaha, don't worry about it, old man!! Your granddaughter and I get along swell, don't we, Kaoru-chan?!

A

[punchestumors]

Wha-

[okay Leorio is not a doctor yet, but he is still utterly baffled by that mountain of sugar. Unless you're stockpiling for the next millennium or so that is seriously unhealthy dude. Since he went up and asked him, he has to say something, right?]

You ask me, it's neither! Are you trying to give yourself a heart disease?

a!

[dielectrics]

Of course it's both.

[ Says Killua Zoldyck, the kid who, when unsupervised, spent 200 million on sweets without blinking an eye. That candy mountain definitely seems legit. Kind of on the small side, though.

He'd say something about that, except he's right in the middle of reaching for the last of the knock-off almost ChocoRobo chocolates. And Shuu is reaching for it at the same time.

There is no mercy when it comes to (almost) ChocoRobo.

Killua pauses with his hand around the box and smiles at Shuu. His nails pop out into claws. ]

You don't mind if I take this one, right?

[ Is he threatening a dude over a box of candy? HE MIGHT BE. ]

b

[emotive]

Oh!

[Here's a somewhat familiar face. Ai Thao had been exploring the park, admiring the neatness of it all. When Kaoru calls out, she turns to face the two Nagumos. Her face lights up in recognition when she sees Kaoru.]

Hello, Miss Kaoru! I do have a moment to spare actually!

C

[gewehrundblut]

::Just what he needs, a moron parade. Oh well, if he wanted to avoid being bothered, he should have stayed at home, right? Right.

So, he kind of just stares at the two people in front of him, looking back and forth. Back. Forth.

Not that he's one to talk, but...::

Uh. You're joking, right? ::Oops, better clarify, so he doesn't look like a complete jackass. Though that would be a more accurate impression.:: No way are you old enough to be her grandfather.

b

[chainjailer]

[Kurapika blinks and points to himself as if to question the request. Him? Did you mean him?] Yes...?

[He recognizes both of them from work; Kaoru as a customer and Shuu as a co-worker. That was probably the only reason he willingly decided to step over. Call it curiosity. Kurapika takes a few steps towards them, stopping just far enough away from them that he could easily excuse himself to leave if he wanted.] Ah, Kaoru. I remember you.

[He's glad their second meeting involves him wearing something a little more traditional, as opposed to obnoxious lolita clothing. Then again, he would say that about any meeting.

As for Shuu, he leers over at him--and at what he's making--realizing suddenly that he has no idea what his name is. Oh well.] You as well.

b

[endworld]

Sure!

[And so Seren walks over without a care in the world. He doesn't recognize Kaoru, but he recognizes Shuu, his crazy and murderous friend, at least??]

What are you guys doing? Looks like fun!

c;

[deontology]

[Depending on how you look at it, Shuu either hit the jackpot or ended up with the worst option of all.

Regardless, he approaches Sousei, and Sousei pauses, a little startled. He has a bag (he was grocery shopping, if you can believe something so mundane), but he does stop, blinking once.

...Ah yes, one of his favorite people in Cerealia, plus someone he can already tell he will love.]

...Why are you doing this?

C.

[breakin]

[ When the two of them coming running up to him Mireu looks relatively disinterested at first. But then Shuu asks that weird question, and out comes a wide grin that means nothing but trouble. ]

Your granddaughter? Ohooo... You really started young, didn't you?

[ Look how much he clearly believes about this familial relationship.

Now here's the real question, does he go along with Shuu and make Kaoru's life miserable, or does he take the challenge and harasses Shuu instead? ]

c

[eversmiling]

[ It's almost certainly 100% Shuu that ends up approaching Soujirou, because Kaoru would probably prefer to never see his stupid, smiling face again. Still, Soujirou is more than amenable to be spoken to, and he greets Shuu and Kaoru both with a bright, friendly smile! However, that's his default state of existence.

He listens to Shuu's request, but then ends up laughing as he tucks his hands into their opposite sleeves. ]

Your granddaughter, huh? You look really young to be a grandfather, sir!

[ is that super rude or super polite... It Is a Mystery, but all the same, that rudeness might be forgotten, since Soujirou bows his head towards them both. ]

But that's okay! I'm already Nagumo-san's friend. [ rip kaoru ]

a

[derepressed]

Um..!

[Chizuru doesn't have more than a moment or two to look between the equally-unhealthy bags of sweets before Shuu tosses them into the cart. Maybe it's not her place to say it, but... he'd asked her opinion, so isn't it okay? ...she's going to gather her courage and speak up anyway. It's too bad Kaoru was ignoring his dear old grandpa, because maybe he could have prevented this if he'd noticed it sooner.]

Neither one of those tastes bad, but don't you think you ought to get some fruits or vegetables too..?

[Shuu is going to get cavities at this rate and then Kaoru is going to have to take him to a dentist and that won't be pretty.]

c;

[tuberculosis]

[well, souji's not smiling either. which is pretty rare for him, but really.

really.

really?

he knew the demons would eventually find each other, but this is kind of ridiculous. granted, he's got absolutely no idea that they're both nagumos, but still. granddaughter? even if it's true thanks to... really bizarre time differences in the jamjar life, daughter?]

I hope you don't think I'm supposed to believe that he's really a daughter to anyone. [and then, there it is. that disdainful smirk, aimed in kaoru's direction. little demon bastard child still trying to fool the masses, huh?]

Really, it's getting boring that you're keeping up that farce, Nagumo Kaoru. Just how long do you plan on fooling people? Or should I just expose all of your secrets here, out in the open?

[sorry, shuu. his annoyance at kaoru's existence trumps so many things in life.]

A

[littlestbaskerville]

[Getting food from this kind of store was always an adventure for Lily. She gets lost most times and it's hard to figure out where she needs to go. Man, she misses being carried around...it was always easier to just go where she was taken.

So when she becomes confused as to where she can find something for dinner, it surprises her to see the mountain of candy. Eyes going wide she just stares and then looks to the bags them to person.]

Both.

[...she wants to try both.]

c

[espersions]

[ He has just finished casing a building, that is to say, performing a fire safety inspection, and is twirling his shiny yellow helmet about on one finger when Shuu accosts him.

The voice sounds vaguely familiar, although he isn't able to place it. He wonders over the introduction "my adorable granddaughter," because Shuu looks hardly old enough to be anyone's father, much less grandfather. On the other hand, nobody knows better than he that appearances can be deceiving, with respect to age.

In any case, he has about a second to wonder, because that's how long it takes for his brain to register the girl's name. His helmet spins right off his finger, clatters to the ground and rolls a good ten feet. He doesn't notice it at all because he is staring goggle-eyed at... ]

Kaoru.

[ A little pause, in which he tries to collect himself and fails. ]

Yes.

Yes, I... will be your friend.

[ And he's still staring, in a way that isn't the least bit creepy or inappropriate, gosh. ]