( open ) we're just like how rousseau depicted man in the plain state of nature

[puerilely]

Who: Shuu, Kaoru and you!
When: 14/11 IC; 6/2 OOC; aka today.
Where: The grocery store, the park and pretty much anywhere else around town you want.
What: Life with the Nagumos™. Today you can be part of their little sitcom by running into the two terrible demons around town.
Rating/Warning: Should be none.. other than S for Shitbabies... It's a little known fact that the N in Nagumo stands for Nope.

---

a - grocery store;
[GOOD MORNING CEREAL. Today it's Get Shit Done Day, which means Kaoru's out and about on the usual shopping routine for the week, restocking various household items and packing groceries into the cart. Nothing new here! What is new is this rude shitty punk who decided to tag along for the ride this time... The one that Kaoru is pointedly ignoring while leaving the cart off to the side of aisles to go peruse the shelves.]

[ And as anyone who knows said punk would know, leaving him alone is never a good idea.. it's probably why he's over here, throwing more and more stuff into the cart - most notably pretty much anything sweet or generally not very healthy.

In fact, if you're near, you might even find the guy turning towards you, two different kinds of bags of sweets in both of his hands. ]

He-y, I was wondering, which one is better..? [ .. he hums for a moment, but then answers before you probably even have a chance to answer-- ] It's both, right? [ AND INTO THE CART THEY GO.. you are truly faced with candy mountain here, friend. The stuff of legends. ]

b - park;
[Not even the park can escape Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Nope, Kaoru's been roped into flower-weaving shenanigans, which is frankly a little horrific after everything that had happened during the last event with flowers... Being a pranking shithead was fun at the time, but the aftermath was A Struggle™, okay.

Anyway, anyone wandering through the center path will be able to see one (1) reluctant demon and one (1) moron demon sitting off to the side in a patch of flowers, apparently making crowns... HOW BENIGN. Eventually, Kaoru puts the one in hand down, half-finished.]

Shuu-san... How much longer do you want to stay here? There are still other errands to finish.

[ Shuu doesn't seem as close to finished with it.. but he does look oddly focused on it?! There's apparently some dedication to these flower crowns going on here, and he shifts a little to hold his over Kaoru's head, as if he's trying to look how it'd fit. ]

Just a little bit more..! [ Judging by how far along he is, that probably means at least half an hour more, though.. but he doesn't seem concerned. ]

Ahh, it's just like I thought.. pink really suits you, Kaoru!

[ Someone please save Kaoru from his flowery fate.. ]

[Kaoru will save himself from his flower fate okay TIME TO CALL OVER YOU, INNOCENT BYSTANDER. With a hand outstretched toward the path:]

Ah— Excuse me! Do you have a moment to spare? [Don't come over it's a trap.]

c - around town;
[Those errands are going to be left perpetually unfinished, because apparently there are other things to do?! STUPID THINGS. By this point there's probably only one person here who still has a strong well of patience left and it isn't Kaoru. Do you know how much self-control it takes to maintain an air of quiet distress instead of open agitation when being literally dragged all over the city?? The answer is probably more than Kaoru has, even though a valiant effort is being made.

But oops, what's this?? The moron parade seems to be heading in your direction for some reason...!]

Hey, you over there..!

[ Polite as ever.. but they sure do just patter over to you. Or rather, Shuu patters over to you while bodily dragging Kaoru along for the ride. At least one of the two of them is smiling widely. (Hint: it's not Kaoru.) ]

Hmm, so.. how do I say this..

[ Shuu tilts his head back and forth a few times, like he's thinking, but then he speaks on. ]

This over here is my adorable granddaughter Kaoru, and I'm a little worried about her ability to make friends.. so, would you be interested in becoming her friend? Oh-- and if you already are friends, please get along well, for the sake of a poor worried family member too..! [ the chance that any of this is genuine is about 0,00001%, but hey, at least he manages to bring it fairly convincingly. ]

( ooc: JUST FOR REFERENCE'S SAKE these will obviously be threeway threads!! two for the price of one in one thread, aren't you lucky... )

Comments

b

[confind]

[ Lucky for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, Alice is the one who chose the wrong day to walk down the despair path, absent minded and with a lot of naivety; with his headphones shoved as far into his ears as they are, he assumes the only thing Kaoru needs from him is help (which is true, but not the kind of help sooha is thinking of. help with flower crowns apparently look at this shitty job).

So even though the fabric of existence is about to rip open and slap Sooha upside the head for making such terrible decisions, he pulls his headphones out and crouches down next to the puddle of shitlords anyway. What a loser. ]

Yeah, do you need something?

[ (¬､¬)(˘▼˘>ԅ( ˘⌣ƪ) ]

[souredsweet]

[WHAT A KIND GUY. AN ANGEL SENT FROM ABOVE here to free Kaoru from this stupid Shuu-guarded prison... There's an immediate expression of relief, which is Sooha's first warning, but it's probably too late for him to escape so easily now. Someone needs to remember him so a funeral can be held later...

But!! For now, Kaoru will smile up at him, pleasant despite the underlying air of I need help.]

I have a request... Do you know how to weave crowns? My friend is struggling a little and could use some help.

[welcome to flower hell.]

b

[poised]

[Innocent bystander is Natalia and someone now needs to save her from her flowery, vaguely demonic fate.

But admittedly she's very curious - and also thoroughly endeared by the flower crowns, they're a bit of a weakness of hers - and she's wandering over easily enough.]

Certainly so. How may I help you?

[Such a good citizen. Though now she realizes that she recognizes one of these demon shitlords and she smiles. She smiles and that's how you know she's gonna die because of him one day.]

Oh! I hadn't known that you enjoyed making flower crowns, Shuu.

[souredsweet]

[SUCH A GOOD CITIZEN INDEED...

Which is exactly why Kaoru definitely looks a little surprised for a second, because ??? clearly Natalia knows Shuu, but she isn't acting repulsed or at least vaguely agitated. Who knew that either A) Shuu had it in him to deceive someone long enough to become their friend or B) that there were people in Cerealia who could tolerate him! A discovery has been made today...

Kaoru will offer a friendly smile her way regardless, hands folding over the top of one half-finished crown.]

Ah, are the two of you friends? In that case, may I ask a favor? [Nodding gently in Natalia's direction!]

If it wouldn't be too much hassle, Shuu-san needs a model to wear his crown while he works.

c for can't stop won't stop

[sunshrouded]

[Shuu is totally convincing just like how Kaoru is totally convincing and this makes 2 out of 2 characters that are going to die because of the Nagumos one day because he's totally endeared and also v...aguely confused.....]

Ahh? Kaoru-chan, is this guy for real? Do you have weird ancestor things happening here too?

[But still he waves a hand and seems to... roll with it... and he gives Shuu a grin.]

Bahaha, don't worry about it, old man!! Your granddaughter and I get along swell, don't we, Kaoru-chan?!

the party dont start til dana walks in

[souredsweet]

[God, when top tier morons collide... SOMEHOW THIS MEETING IS ALREADY FILLING KAORU WITH A DEEP SENSE OF DISPLEASURE. Normally something like this would be totally manageable too, but this punk has been run ragged after spending so much time stuck in Shuu hell today. A smile is managed, but it's somewhat brief...]

I see Tenka-san is as spirited as always this afternoon. [IT'S TOO MUCH. But first, to Shuu:]

I consider Tenka-san a kind and good friend, so please treat him well. [And then, regarding their weird shit ancestor... shittery:]

Perhaps great-grandfather would be more accurate? Or great-great... [He's like a supergrandpa okay don't pull your punches, Tenka.] Ah, but what do you mean, "too"?

A

[punchestumors]

Wha-

[okay Leorio is not a doctor yet, but he is still utterly baffled by that mountain of sugar. Unless you're stockpiling for the next millennium or so that is seriously unhealthy dude. Since he went up and asked him, he has to say something, right?]

You ask me, it's neither! Are you trying to give yourself a heart disease?

[puerilely]

Heart disease..? [ what's that, can you eat it, basically.

Since Shuu just tilts his head to the side a little, like he has absolutely no idea what this guy is going on about! Surely not something that can ruin his enjoyment of sweets, nope, so he's totally stockpiling even more into the cart now. ]

We-ll, I've had a lot of these already, and my heart is just fine.. isn't it just that you don't know how to truly have fun in live, old man..?

[ Harsh, Shuu. Who let the five year olds out... ]

a!

[dielectrics]

Of course it's both.

[ Says Killua Zoldyck, the kid who, when unsupervised, spent 200 million on sweets without blinking an eye. That candy mountain definitely seems legit. Kind of on the small side, though.

He'd say something about that, except he's right in the middle of reaching for the last of the knock-off almost ChocoRobo chocolates. And Shuu is reaching for it at the same time.

There is no mercy when it comes to (almost) ChocoRobo.

Killua pauses with his hand around the box and smiles at Shuu. His nails pop out into claws. ]

You don't mind if I take this one, right?

[ Is he threatening a dude over a box of candy? HE MIGHT BE. ]

[puerilely]

[ Shuu at least doesn't seem very threatened by the claws. Not something he knew Killua could do, but hey, if the other guy was down with fighting giant beings and all that, Shuu figured there had to be something he could do.

He just smiles back, sweetly on the surface, but with the same kind of threatening edge to it, not pulling his hand off the other side of the box. ]

Hmm, I'm not so sure..? I think I saw it first.. [ Look, he actually likes Killua, but candy. Nothing comes between him and sweets, man.

this is literally going down right now. this is a real situation. in the middle of the grocery store. ]

b

[emotive]

Oh!

[Here's a somewhat familiar face. Ai Thao had been exploring the park, admiring the neatness of it all. When Kaoru calls out, she turns to face the two Nagumos. Her face lights up in recognition when she sees Kaoru.]

Hello, Miss Kaoru! I do have a moment to spare actually!

[souredsweet]

[Ah, a familiar face! Kaoru's expression brightens a little and the hand that had been held out gives a friendly wave.]

You do? I'm glad for it. [A smile! Cerealia is just full of such helpful souls...]

I'll try not to take up too much of your time regardless, but... [And then the flower chain (much better looking than Shuu's!!!) is held up.] Would you happen to know how to make these?

C

[gewehrundblut]

::Just what he needs, a moron parade. Oh well, if he wanted to avoid being bothered, he should have stayed at home, right? Right.

So, he kind of just stares at the two people in front of him, looking back and forth. Back. Forth.

Not that he's one to talk, but...::

Uh. You're joking, right? ::Oops, better clarify, so he doesn't look like a complete jackass. Though that would be a more accurate impression.:: No way are you old enough to be her grandfather.

[souredsweet]

[WELL THAT'S SURE A REACTION. Good thing Kaoru's pretty hard to offend with the things that offend most normal people, so even before the clarification, it doesn't seem too bothersome.

The follow-up statement is met with a look of mildly curious confusion, though... Glancing over to Shuu!]

Oh, my... It isn't a joke. Despite his appearance, he's actually very old. [PATTING SHUU'S ARM LIKE A CARING GRANDDAUGHTER while internally laughing. To Prussia:] It's possible for everyone to meet their grandparents or even their great grandparents in a place like this, isn't it?

b

[chainjailer]

[Kurapika blinks and points to himself as if to question the request. Him? Did you mean him?] Yes...?

[He recognizes both of them from work; Kaoru as a customer and Shuu as a co-worker. That was probably the only reason he willingly decided to step over. Call it curiosity. Kurapika takes a few steps towards them, stopping just far enough away from them that he could easily excuse himself to leave if he wanted.] Ah, Kaoru. I remember you.

[He's glad their second meeting involves him wearing something a little more traditional, as opposed to obnoxious lolita clothing. Then again, he would say that about any meeting.

As for Shuu, he leers over at him--and at what he's making--realizing suddenly that he has no idea what his name is. Oh well.] You as well.

[souredsweet]

[KURAPIKA LEARN THE NAMES OF YOUR COWORKERS... Or don't, because Kaoru would find that hilarious.

But!! Kaoru had actually not immediately recognized Kurapika without whatever waiting outfit he had been wearing while throwing pasta at people, so once recognition happens, a brighter smile is offered. At least he has no pasta to throw this time...! And there are no irritating people arou- oh wait, there's Shuu.]

I remember you, as well. I hope that your work has been treating you more kindly since the last time we spoke? [A curious upward lilt! Requesting help with the flower bonanza can wait until after the greeting formalities are done.]

b

[endworld]

Sure!

[And so Seren walks over without a care in the world. He doesn't recognize Kaoru, but he recognizes Shuu, his crazy and murderous friend, at least??]

What are you guys doing? Looks like fun!

[souredsweet]

[Shuu's second only friend, aside from Natalia...

But even though Kaoru doesn't recognize him either, he'll get a cheery wave all the same! So many friendly people willing to sacrifice their time to morons...]

Shuu-san wanted to see the flowers here, and we ended up weaving some. [KAORU STILL DOESN'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED.] Ah, but if it looks like fun to you, would you like to join us?

c;

[deontology]

[Depending on how you look at it, Shuu either hit the jackpot or ended up with the worst option of all.

Regardless, he approaches Sousei, and Sousei pauses, a little startled. He has a bag (he was grocery shopping, if you can believe something so mundane), but he does stop, blinking once.

...Ah yes, one of his favorite people in Cerealia, plus someone he can already tell he will love.]

...Why are you doing this?

[souredsweet]

[WHY DOES HE KEEP RUNNING INTO SOUSEI. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?? Kaoru goes through so many pains to avoid this punk and fate always throws them together anyway, like an inescapable cosmic curse!!

But internal griping aside, Sousei will get an apologetic look as Kaoru simultaneously shuffles a little bit to stand even further behind Grandpa Meatshield. This is a hard situation because Kaoru has no idea whether to feel worse for Sousei or Shuu here... First place in the suffering olympics goes to himself though, of course. This is a cruel and unfair hell.]

I would like to know as well. Even though I told him it was unnecessary, he insists...

[The harried air is so real. There's even the faintest trill of agitation present, because as good at Kaoru is at repressing everything under the sun, one can only handle so much Shuu in a single sitting.

ANYWAY, TO SHUU:] I get along with Sousei-san, so this truly is unnecessary, though I do appreciate the concern. [No. No he does not. Get this fakeass rudeass concern outta here, you puke...]

C.

[breakin]

[ When the two of them coming running up to him Mireu looks relatively disinterested at first. But then Shuu asks that weird question, and out comes a wide grin that means nothing but trouble. ]

Your granddaughter? Ohooo... You really started young, didn't you?

[ Look how much he clearly believes about this familial relationship.

Now here's the real question, does he go along with Shuu and make Kaoru's life miserable, or does he take the challenge and harasses Shuu instead? ]

[souredsweet]

[It's like each person Shuu drags him to has a worse response in store than the last... what kind of fresh hell is this.....

Valiantly resisting the urge to sigh like an actual grandpa, Kaoru glances over toward Shuu and then back to Mireu. The look is somewhat apologetic?! Mostly an apology for Shuu's existence on a whole, since no one else is around to say sorry about that.]

He's from a time well behind my own, that's all. [Shuu the dinosaur, a particularly well-preserved specimen.]

c

[eversmiling]

[ It's almost certainly 100% Shuu that ends up approaching Soujirou, because Kaoru would probably prefer to never see his stupid, smiling face again. Still, Soujirou is more than amenable to be spoken to, and he greets Shuu and Kaoru both with a bright, friendly smile! However, that's his default state of existence.

He listens to Shuu's request, but then ends up laughing as he tucks his hands into their opposite sleeves. ]

Your granddaughter, huh? You look really young to be a grandfather, sir!

[ is that super rude or super polite... It Is a Mystery, but all the same, that rudeness might be forgotten, since Soujirou bows his head towards them both. ]

But that's okay! I'm already Nagumo-san's friend. [ rip kaoru ]

[souredsweet]

[NNNAUGHHHHH SHUU STOP BRINGING HIM TO THE SOUS...

Of course he's looking displeased as soon as Soujirou starts talking, and that look only intensifies entirely when he says "FRIEND", like didn't they just have a conversation about this?? They literally just had a conversation about this! But what Shuu will probably notice immediately is the fact that Kaoru doesn't bother to hide his ire at all this time... Soujirou already knows he's a shithead so the effort would be wasted here, and Kaoru just doesn't have a whole lot of energy to spare after an entire day of putting up with dumb ancestors.]

He's from a couple hundred years back, but he's my age currently. [A curt explanation...]

a

[derepressed]

Um..!

[Chizuru doesn't have more than a moment or two to look between the equally-unhealthy bags of sweets before Shuu tosses them into the cart. Maybe it's not her place to say it, but... he'd asked her opinion, so isn't it okay? ...she's going to gather her courage and speak up anyway. It's too bad Kaoru was ignoring his dear old grandpa, because maybe he could have prevented this if he'd noticed it sooner.]

Neither one of those tastes bad, but don't you think you ought to get some fruits or vegetables too..?

[Shuu is going to get cavities at this rate and then Kaoru is going to have to take him to a dentist and that won't be pretty.]

[puerilely]

[ Chizuru truly befell the worst fate of all, being stuck with a shitbaby...

Although she's using the one forbidden word. The dreaded word. The word that can shake Shuu's world completely just by being mentioned.

Vegetables.

Hence why he's puffing his cheeks up a little - you know, like little kids do. ]

Why would I have to eat those..?! If there's stuff that tastes good, shouldn't you just eat that instead?

c;

[tuberculosis]

[well, souji's not smiling either. which is pretty rare for him, but really.

really.

really?

he knew the demons would eventually find each other, but this is kind of ridiculous. granted, he's got absolutely no idea that they're both nagumos, but still. granddaughter? even if it's true thanks to... really bizarre time differences in the jamjar life, daughter?]

I hope you don't think I'm supposed to believe that he's really a daughter to anyone. [and then, there it is. that disdainful smirk, aimed in kaoru's direction. little demon bastard child still trying to fool the masses, huh?]

Really, it's getting boring that you're keeping up that farce, Nagumo Kaoru. Just how long do you plan on fooling people? Or should I just expose all of your secrets here, out in the open?

[sorry, shuu. his annoyance at kaoru's existence trumps so many things in life.]

[souredsweet]

[How did Kaoru even get dragged over here without blasting off into murderspace immediately upon spotting Shuu's newest target, that's the real question... Maybe he was too busy looking at his shoes and despairing the fact that he's stuck in Cerealia with the world's most shitbaby ancestor ever?! BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO ESCAPE NOW. DESTRUCTION IS IMMINENT. This is the end...

And of course Shuu is being completely ignored by this moron too because Souji is the reigning champ of the Sou club that Kaoru finds so stupidly repellent, and therefore requires 100% of his attention. Can't tame this hateboner.

The disdainful smirk is met with an unpleasant smile - a little nastier than usual, since he's got an entire day of shitty feelings backlogged by now.]

Likewise, your threats are becoming quite trite, Okita Souji-san. How many times will I be forced to listen to you speak with such baseless aggression? [LAUGHS like a rudeass, in a falsely quaint way...]

A

[littlestbaskerville]

[Getting food from this kind of store was always an adventure for Lily. She gets lost most times and it's hard to figure out where she needs to go. Man, she misses being carried around...it was always easier to just go where she was taken.

So when she becomes confused as to where she can find something for dinner, it surprises her to see the mountain of candy. Eyes going wide she just stares and then looks to the bags them to person.]

Both.

[...she wants to try both.]

[puerilely]

[ Sorry, Lily, but you're not getting any.

At least, that's what Shuu is thinking just about now, as he casually dumps the candy in his - I repeat, his, or maybe more like his and Kaoru's but technically his!! - cart. With a big grin. These are totally his now, along with the rest of famous Mt. Candy over here. ]

Great! Thanks for your help, and bye bye..!

[ Yeah, he's totally just turning away and starting to look through the candy again, totally ignoring her presence.. even that "thanks" didn't sound very genuine. You didn't even try, Shuu.. ]

c

[espersions]

[ He has just finished casing a building, that is to say, performing a fire safety inspection, and is twirling his shiny yellow helmet about on one finger when Shuu accosts him.

The voice sounds vaguely familiar, although he isn't able to place it. He wonders over the introduction "my adorable granddaughter," because Shuu looks hardly old enough to be anyone's father, much less grandfather. On the other hand, nobody knows better than he that appearances can be deceiving, with respect to age.

In any case, he has about a second to wonder, because that's how long it takes for his brain to register the girl's name. His helmet spins right off his finger, clatters to the ground and rolls a good ten feet. He doesn't notice it at all because he is staring goggle-eyed at... ]

Kaoru.

[ A little pause, in which he tries to collect himself and fails. ]

Yes.

Yes, I... will be your friend.

[ And he's still staring, in a way that isn't the least bit creepy or inappropriate, gosh. ]

[souredsweet]

[SHUU, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW, look at this weirdo you've approached... The reaction is actually surprising and disconcerting enough to catch even Kaoru off guard, and almost enough to be distracting from the miles of Shuu-related bullshit that have been piling up over the course of the day.]

Ah, your helmet— [INTERNAL SWEATING. A quick glance toward Shuu is given, like some kind of explanation is expected, but Kaoru's attention returns to this bizarre stranger soon enough.]

...It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance in any case, sir. I hope that we can get along well. [Which is followed by a properly polite and graceful bow of greeting. But, equally important:] If you would wait a moment...

[Shaking Shuu's grasp to go trot after the runaway helmet!! It would be a shame if some rogue helmet thief took the opportunity to abscond with it or something, so Kaoru will scoop it up from the ground and then return, holding it back out for Hyoubu to take.]