( open ) we're just like how rousseau depicted man in the plain state of nature

[puerilely]

Who: Shuu, Kaoru and you!
When: 14/11 IC; 6/2 OOC; aka today.
Where: The grocery store, the park and pretty much anywhere else around town you want.
What: Life with the Nagumos™. Today you can be part of their little sitcom by running into the two terrible demons around town.
Rating/Warning: Should be none.. other than S for Shitbabies... It's a little known fact that the N in Nagumo stands for Nope.

---

a - grocery store;
[GOOD MORNING CEREAL. Today it's Get Shit Done Day, which means Kaoru's out and about on the usual shopping routine for the week, restocking various household items and packing groceries into the cart. Nothing new here! What is new is this rude shitty punk who decided to tag along for the ride this time... The one that Kaoru is pointedly ignoring while leaving the cart off to the side of aisles to go peruse the shelves.]

[ And as anyone who knows said punk would know, leaving him alone is never a good idea.. it's probably why he's over here, throwing more and more stuff into the cart - most notably pretty much anything sweet or generally not very healthy.

In fact, if you're near, you might even find the guy turning towards you, two different kinds of bags of sweets in both of his hands. ]

He-y, I was wondering, which one is better..? [ .. he hums for a moment, but then answers before you probably even have a chance to answer-- ] It's both, right? [ AND INTO THE CART THEY GO.. you are truly faced with candy mountain here, friend. The stuff of legends. ]

b - park;
[Not even the park can escape Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Nope, Kaoru's been roped into flower-weaving shenanigans, which is frankly a little horrific after everything that had happened during the last event with flowers... Being a pranking shithead was fun at the time, but the aftermath was A Struggle™, okay.

Anyway, anyone wandering through the center path will be able to see one (1) reluctant demon and one (1) moron demon sitting off to the side in a patch of flowers, apparently making crowns... HOW BENIGN. Eventually, Kaoru puts the one in hand down, half-finished.]

Shuu-san... How much longer do you want to stay here? There are still other errands to finish.

[ Shuu doesn't seem as close to finished with it.. but he does look oddly focused on it?! There's apparently some dedication to these flower crowns going on here, and he shifts a little to hold his over Kaoru's head, as if he's trying to look how it'd fit. ]

Just a little bit more..! [ Judging by how far along he is, that probably means at least half an hour more, though.. but he doesn't seem concerned. ]

Ahh, it's just like I thought.. pink really suits you, Kaoru!

[ Someone please save Kaoru from his flowery fate.. ]

[Kaoru will save himself from his flower fate okay TIME TO CALL OVER YOU, INNOCENT BYSTANDER. With a hand outstretched toward the path:]

Ah— Excuse me! Do you have a moment to spare? [Don't come over it's a trap.]

c - around town;
[Those errands are going to be left perpetually unfinished, because apparently there are other things to do?! STUPID THINGS. By this point there's probably only one person here who still has a strong well of patience left and it isn't Kaoru. Do you know how much self-control it takes to maintain an air of quiet distress instead of open agitation when being literally dragged all over the city?? The answer is probably more than Kaoru has, even though a valiant effort is being made.

But oops, what's this?? The moron parade seems to be heading in your direction for some reason...!]

Hey, you over there..!

[ Polite as ever.. but they sure do just patter over to you. Or rather, Shuu patters over to you while bodily dragging Kaoru along for the ride. At least one of the two of them is smiling widely. (Hint: it's not Kaoru.) ]

Hmm, so.. how do I say this..

[ Shuu tilts his head back and forth a few times, like he's thinking, but then he speaks on. ]

This over here is my adorable granddaughter Kaoru, and I'm a little worried about her ability to make friends.. so, would you be interested in becoming her friend? Oh-- and if you already are friends, please get along well, for the sake of a poor worried family member too..! [ the chance that any of this is genuine is about 0,00001%, but hey, at least he manages to bring it fairly convincingly. ]

( ooc: JUST FOR REFERENCE'S SAKE these will obviously be threeway threads!! two for the price of one in one thread, aren't you lucky... )

Comments

[souredsweet]

[who even unleashed these stupid demons with their 5 second attention spans and their willingness to dive into bodily harm just to see what a human will do...

Even someone with a regular sense of smell would likely be able to pick up on the smoke now, either way. Kaoru's head cants a little to the side in the curious way of someone who's caught a scent but either can't identify it or can't pinpoint it. It's a very good rendition of barely-there confusion.]

If you didn't mean it negatively, perhaps not... [Looking back over toward Shuu again!] At any rate, you aren't at a loss for time. I suppose there isn't any rush.

[demons... except not because megadeath BUT HEY Kaoru doesn't know that. ANYWAY, just to prod things along further (because he doesn't actually want to end up burned in case Mireu decides to take the path of inaction):]

—Ah, do you smell something?

[puerilely]

Me? Nothing at all..

[ KAORU WASN'T ASKING YOU, YOU DINGUS. Although Shuu does realise that Kaoru was probably just hinting at Mireu to just decide on whether he's going to do something about it or not, he's just playing along in his own dumb way. Which means that he definitely can't shut up and play along silently as he trots after the other two, pretty much. ]

[breakin]

[ Fortunately for Kaoru, and unfortunately for Shuu, Mireu's deciding to take the path of action after all. Looks like this new possible playmate is a dud after all for poor Shuu, because he's got this little nagging bit of morals in the back of his head that won't allow him to let someone go up in flames.

So without a word, and certainly without telling Kaoru about what just happened, he places a hand on Kaoru's back again like he's just an overly friendly asshole.

He is still one of these things. ]

Of course not. No rush at all.

[ Carrying on with the conversation way too easily as he gives the crane a sharp flick, sending it sailing out of Kaoru's kimono, saving Kaoru from charred, smelly clothing.

Unfortunately, not saving them from the little explosion it's gonna create as the thing goes flying away from them and lands hard on the ground near them. He doesn't even have a chance to make a comment about the smell before that thing goes off. Shame Mireu wasn't aware of the exploding part of all of this. ]

[souredsweet]

[INCREDIBLE. Kaoru's never sure how to react when humans actually do things that aren't shitty, outside of being generally suspicious because clearly they're never not shitty for no reason... So it actually comes as a mild surprise that Mireu decided to bank on the path of action after all, even though the alternative would have been pretty unfortunate.

...And then there's the explosion, oops. Those little cranes sure are... a blast. There goes the bad joke train, derailing and flying off into the abyss.

But even though Kaoru had been expecting it, there's still a little yelp of surprise in reaction for the sake of appearance. Attention immediately drawn to the blast area - god, Shuu, how big was the explosion anyway? Hopefully not that big or he'll have to throw Shuu's bed out the window tonight or something. For now, Kaoru's reactions are perfectly in line with someone who just had to deal with the surprise of stepping into the dangerzone without warning.]

What was that—?!

[puerilely]

[ .. boring, after all.

Maybe he should have figured. As cool as Mireu might have seemed for a moment there, he's a human, right? Humans can only be so cool before they give up and become boring.. just like this guy. What a bummer, just when he thought he found someone who might have made a decent playmate.

It's why Shuu doesn't even bother to put up the innocent act right now. His look drops a little, like an annoyed kid, not even batting an eyelash at the explosion. He's used to the sound. ]

What a boring person..

[ ALL THE COMMENTARY HE HAS FOR THIS, APPARENTLY. ]

[breakin]

[ Mireu pats Kaoru awkwardly on the shoulder a couple of times, before stepping back, giving Shuu a sideways glance, and not looking remotely sorry about the fact that he just disappointed the kid. Especially not after he saw the explosion that tossing that thing off of Kaoru caused.

His voice is a lot less lively, and a lot more serious now. ]

You have a warped sense of fun.

[ He leans down to Kaoru's level. ]

You should reconsider the company you keep.

[ A small salute as he steps away from the two of them. ]

My appetite has been spoiled, so I'll take a rain check on that meal.

[ Very specifically only directed at Kaoru, as Mireu turns to walk away. He ain't got time for mini murderers. ]

[souredsweet]

[Getting out of having to make dinner, too?? Today is just Kaoru's lucky day. The general air of confusion remains about level, but it's pretty easy to maintain because people doing good things is actually pretty baffling.]

Sir--? [BUT THERE HE GOES before further clarification can be asked, leaving these shitheads behind. Kaoru calls after with a hesitant:] Please take care, then...

[...HM. Strange. If Kaoru had even a tiny sliver of understanding when it came to people, it probably wouldn't be a bizarre reaction at all, but he doesn't - not really. By the time Mireu is gone and Shuu becomes the new focal point, the expression present can only be described as "shit's weird, man".]

That level of concern was surprising.

[Surprising, but also a very good way to illustrate exactly what Kaoru means when saying "being nice to people gets you stuff sometimes, or at least it pays to not be a butthead where people can see". TAKE NOTES, SHUU.]

[puerilely]

[ At least they agree on one thing here - Mireu's behaviour really is inexplicable, why would a random human go out of their way to save someone else, what kind of sense does that even make.. even if it manifests more as grumpiness with Shuu, who just saw his chances at one of the few playmates he can make vanish into thin air.

This is why you can't trust humans, huh? How boring... ]

He was a boring person after all. [ He sounds dismissive, like he's trying to throw away the idea that he ever considered Mireu vaguely fun to begin with. ] I guess humans will be humans.. ruining everything until the end. I wasn't even really going to hurt you..

[ That's not even him saying it to suck up to Kaoru - god, why would he want to?? - as much as he's just being stupidly honest since he's a dumb five year old. ]

[souredsweet]

[One bored, the other vaguely irritated, both confused... They really need some sort of behavioral therapy.]

It isn't as though he knew that.

[But it's not like Kaoru's defending Mireu either; he's just naturally posing some argument to Shuu because it's in his nature to do so and it's a habit to do so to Shuu in particular by now. He also reaches behind himself to feel along the edge of his kimono fabric, nose wrinkled a little.]

It didn't scorch anything, did it?

[BECAUSE SO HELP HIM... He isn't even alarmed by the entire exploding-craine-in-his-shirt thing, though - because he actually does believe Shuu when he says he wasn't going to hurt him. Shuu has something that not a lot of the other Nagumo clan members do: stupid 5 year old honesty to go with his stupid 5 year old maturity. Not that Kaoru appreciates it or anything.]

[puerilely]

No-pe.

[ Also honest about that - it's probably easy to tell because his tone is bored rather than some sing-song innocent voice like he sometimes does. ]

I can control it better than that. I just wanted to see what that guy would do.. [ He sighs, stretching his arms above his head lazily. ] Although it wouldn't really have mattered if it did hurt you, right? You'll just heal.

[souredsweet]

[GOD.... Actual defunct morons.]

I would have been fine, but I would have also needed to replace this kimono.

[Shit's expensive, Shuu! Don't make him shell out for stuff that he doesn't need to!! But yes, wow, he sure does have his priorities in the right place. He sighs, brushing his fingers over the fabric one last time as if to really make sure, and then drops his hand to his side again.]

At least you have your answer now.

[About that strange human and what he'd do.]

[puerilely]

[ Replacing kimonos is very low on Shuu's list of Things That Are An Actual Bummer, so he doesn't really think much of it.. he doesn't even really bat an eyelash when Kaoru says it. Eh, shit happens, man. Sometimes someone - other than Shuu - needs to suffer for these things. ]

Why is it so hard to find someone fun to play with..?

[ Maybe because your idea of playing is dumb, Shuu.. but he's still whining about it to Kaoru - of all people - like a little kid. ]

[souredsweet]

[WHY INDEED has he chosen Kaoru of all people to complain to... He just arches a brow, not looking particularly impressed or empathetic.]

Perhaps you should look for something different, if you're having such a difficult time finding what you'd like to see as things are now.

[Someone's standards are a little too high...]

[puerilely]

[ High standards?? The Nagumo family?? Tell me it ain't so.. ]

Then what should I be looking for? [ It's not a question of real guidance or anything, it's more just him snarking back at Kaoru since gee, you act like it's so easy to find something else to amuse yourself with!! Why is it so wrong that he wants friends who also have to be okay with him occasionally threatening to kill them, okay... ]

[souredsweet]

[this is exactly why shuu has 2 friends and kaoru has befriended like half of the city, GOSH SHUU.]

A majority of the people here are just average humans. It would be easier for you if you tried to match their preferences instead of attempting to find one who might suit your own.

[ie: humans don't like being blown up okay, stop that. Unless the end goal is murder and not friendship, in which case that's fine, keep it up...]

[puerilely]

No way.

[ The answer comes pretty quickly and decidedly, like he didn't even have to think about it. Shuu is even starting to move already, since he doesn't want to loiter around here doing nothing.. come on, Kaoru, let's just get dinner already and go home, he's hungryyyy, etc, etc. ]

Why would I want to be friends with people if they don't fit my preferences? That's not friendship at all. [ Although Shuu's idea of friendship is.. a little skewed, but at least he's onto something here, Kaoru. Don't just use people, what sort of lame lonely life is that. ] If I'd do that, I'd be no better than all those boring elders of the clan.

[souredsweet]

[LOOK... look. Shuu is no better okay, he's just terrible in a different way!! Kaoru just manages to make an expression that conveys all the irritation and exasperation of an eyeroll without actually rolling his eyes, but follows after without fuss. BACK TO THE DAILY GRIND.]

Then you'll simply have to become used to disappointments.

[Because clearly those are the only two possibilities!!]