estoria | ( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

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( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

Who: Elliot Nightray (

meriter) and you!
When: IC 11/25—11/27
Where: Residential District (primarily the CERES Gymnasium) + Shopping District (anywhere)
What: Elliot has a terminal allergy to common sense: a lesson in three (four) parts, comprised of psuedo-drowning, Machiavellian swindlers, and terrible book taste, respectively speaking.
Rating/Warning: None, probably.

1. INSERT SWIMMING PUN HERE (ceres gymnasium.)

[ In reconciliation of every self-deprecatory impulse in his body, Elliot actually shows up for lifeguard duty for the first time in two weeks.

He'd been staving off the financial necessity of having real credits on hand to buy very real things for a long while (like microwave dinners, for one thing, considering he'd survived thus far on a diet of refried peas and mashed potatoes with the consistency of clumping dirt). Monetary gain: the true motivator of any stalwart teenager in these trying, trying times. It wasn't as if he was going to turn to his brothers in some prostrated act of weakness. Just because he'd been hairsplitting nebulous concepts like coming to the gym during his technical shift and maybe staying the whole period instead of flat-out leaving whenever it suited him didn't mean he was a stranger to manual labor. Not at all.

So. It's just another routine day at the swimming pool, and by the third hour he's sweating bullets attempting to get a grip over his genteel, strait-laced Victorian morals. There are just so many exhibitionists about in the afternoons, all in varying levels of undress, and he's blistering red up to his ears keeping his gaze trained at all the patrons without turning away at the sight of scantily-clothed bodies. Literal lingerie, at that — it was nothing short of incredible that Vessalius hadn't succumbed to utter debauchery, exposed day in and day out to water-slick forms and all manner of loosened morals. He'd always been a weird kid, anyway.

But his tension reaches a culminating point hits when someone's apparently spritzing out at the deep end of pool, an arm stuck out and frantically waving him over. Reluctantly, Elliot strips off his jacket and cravat and strides over, peering down at the swimmer in question with scrunched eyebrows a stare tipped toward palpable disdain. ]

[ Too bad he doesn't have any sense of peripheral awareness to comprehend the rather peculiar grin he's shot with until the stranger's got their hand grappled around his, and then — ]

again

[ — he falls in. Panic briefly settling in his lungs, he spends a second or two in slantslide vertigo, water rushing around in some great, disorienting deluge before he kicks up, hard, breaks the surface with audible frustration. ]

I HATE THIS JOB!

2. CULTURE OF THE YOUNG AND VAIN (around, somewhere ...)

[ When his mood considerably sobers, he takes his paycheck for a supermarket splurge to refuel his stockpile of frozen dinners and comes away with several plastic bags full of cheap, cholesterol-inducing foods. Normally he'd head straight for his apartment, but Elliot decides to take the scenic route and ends up finding the kitschiest merchant stalls known to man. One minute he's minding his own business, and the next he's surrounding by a copious amount of creams and lotions purported to rejuvenate youth, like he'd just been plunked in the middle of a health ad and was ethically obligated to spout off some hypocritical drivel about the losers who'd buy into such scams. Seriously.

Well, beggars can't be choosers. Elliot wastes no time forcing his way to the front to blithely jab a finger at one of the offending vendors in question. ]

[ You know, because there's nothing wrong with waxing poetic on insurrection to the merchants. With this kind of bullheaded mentality, Elliot's lucky he isn't get his ass hauled away by security guards right this minute. ]

3. LMAO, SPOILERS (still around ...)

[ Wayward hellion of paltry exasperation that he is, Elliot Nightray can't get by without self-gratifying himself on one of the finer things in life. Namely, literature. So he makes a habit of scanning the shelves of the bookstore with a probing fixation at least once a week, turning up his nose at the YA section and heading for the classics to spend hours turning through the pages, scouring the contents for answers, or maybe just a quick read.

Only — today it's different, because he's currently engaged in some kind of weird, heated argument with the cashier. On closer inspection, it's composed mostly of angry, one-sided outbursts, like: ]

at all

[ Or: ]

Holy Knight

[ If nothing else, bystanders can at least pick up on the fact that there's a very frustrated fanboy hogging the front desk to blather on and on about the most emotionally bloated, self-indulgent novels to ever grace the Latowidge Academy library. ]

4. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE (wildcard!)

~~i didn't put him in school~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's nothing.

[ Nonchalance, full stop — or some semblance of it, because pretensive as he is, loss still strikes him in the same manner. Unraveled, he averts his gaze, fingers itching with restlessness gone incendiary, fleshing out his the sheer discomposure when he turns aside. ]

Then it's better to be prepared for every eventuality. You can't be sure if or when you'll run into a situation that calls for the last resort.

[ And Elliot, if nothing else, is familiarly acquainted with the guileless art of smothering his contempt for his own weakness by means of verbal assault. Trailing in after Kaoru's flitting form, he draws forward a few paces, gesturing to the coterie of tables and seats littered through the coffee shop. ]

Is there anything in particular you'd like to order? While I properly order at the front, would it be alright if you could find us a place to sit?

Preparation does seem to be key in situations like this.

[Kaoru only addresses the latter part, because "it's nothing" almost always means the opposite, unless the conversational partner in question is some sort of sociopath, which Kaoru can only assume Elliot Nightray is not. Either way, anything with that much emotion packed into it is something better left untouched.

But the question is a good enough springboard, used swiftly to get away from those heavier topics. With a smile:]

I can do that, certainly. As for my order, just a cup of green tea would be sufficient... Thank you.

[And off Kaoru sets, feet barely making a pitter-pat against the floor. The table selected is a cozy one, tucked away from the brighter lights of the front seating area framed by its outward-facing windows.]

[ And even if there's a lot he doesn't overtly acknowledge, his companion is sensible when it comes to probing. Elliot's loathe to reveal too much of himself, whether as a weakness to exploit or as admittance to his own personal hang-ups, but Kaoru always ... seems to listen, somehow. She hasn't given him any reason to doubt her, going so far as to reveal the loss of her sister, and it strikes a resonant chord in him.

The loss of someone indelibly dear.

After placing and receiving the order, he returns with a tray set with two cups filled with green tea, which he cursorily sets on the table before sliding into the seat across from her.

There's a beat of silence, strange and protracted in the wake of his reveries, and then: ] What's your sister like?

[Kaoru smiles up at him as he sets the tray down, reaching forward only after he's taken a seat to pluck the nearest cup from it and hold it between both hands. The cup itself is hot, but Kaoru doesn't seem to reel from the heat at all.

The smile remains perfectly in place even as the question is posed, and the familiar bite of bitter-green envy surfaces to coat his tongue like the green tea still left untasted. What's Chizuru like? Everyone who hasn't met her wants to know eventually, for this or that reason. The answer changes sometimes, but the core always stays the same. Sweet, tolerant, kind, lovely: the sort of person that everyone wants to know, and the person that everyone protects even if they barely do know her. Kaoru's gaze shifts to settle on the surface of the tea, idly watching as licks of steam rise from it and dissipate into the air.]

Chizuru is... the sort of person who tries her best for others, no matter what the situation is. [Foolish.] She's dependable and reliable. Very, very giving. She would sooner put herself into a compromising situation than see those close to her suffer. [A person who doesn't understand how the world truly works.] Above all, I suppose I would describe her as being kind. Chizuru is a terribly kind person... It's a good trait to have, even though it gets her in trouble at times. [And yet, despite all of the carefully guarded blades that those words hold, the next ones spoken are said earnestly.]

She's my only sibling and my little sister. If she makes mistakes or trips, I want to be there for her. [But that statement, while relatively benign without examination, taps into a wealth of madness that Kaoru is all too aware of. Shifting out of that gear quickly, Kaoru looks up from the cup with a fleeting smile.]

I hope that the two of you might be able to meet and get along, if she returns.

[ These days, it's harder to keep up false pretenses. Reluctant as he is to change, over the months he's begun to acclimatize, settling more and more into the person he's always been. The paranoia's always there, diluting his sincerity in the ebbing corruption of earnestness into vulgar psychosis, but resignation is its own vice and it's harder and harder not to take Kaoru at arbitrary face-value. Absentmindedly, he stares into the contents of the brimming cup and away again in tacit distraction, eyes lowered at half-mast.

His hands shake so badly while she speaks. Elliot buries them in his coat pockets at the first conceivable opportunity, shoulders sinking. ]

You care a lot about her. Chizuru seems like a good person. Maybe I'll have the chance to meet her someday.

[ Faintly spoken, like his voice is on the precipice of cracking open, slivers of weakness shining through.

In the end, overexposure wins out over his halfhearted qualms. The glinting brightness rounding Kaoru's eyes to circles, soft and empathetic when she smiles at him. Someone to trust.

Elliot glances up, then down, prepossessed by the urge to tear into his own palms in an effort to inhibit the shaking tremors bleeding into his fingers. ]

I ... I had a sister, too. If you ever got the chance to meet her, I think you would've liked her. She had a way of talking that caught the attention of everyone around her. It was ridiculous. She could be talking about the weather, and every single person in the room would stop to listen.

And just like your sister, she was really ... too kind, I think. She let herself care too much. When my mother — [ A stutter, an incongruous juncture of silence between one word the next. ] — fell ill, she took it on herself to run affairs in our estate. Our father was always at work, you see. He never had much time for us. And she could've left it to one of our parent's advisors, but she could never leave well-enough alone.

[ A stagnant pause when he disassociates, opts out of one conversational thread for another. ] Did you ever fight with Chizuru?

[Kaoru's expression is exactly as it should be for this situation, along with the posture, air, and everything else that comes together to form one neat package that says "empathetic". It's one of many well-practiced arts, though there's a little surprise as well, to hear something so personal from Elliot. The little hitch when he speaks of his mother catches Kaoru's attention, but it seems like a soft topic better left alone for now. Later, perhaps - another time.

For now, Kaoru's focus remains on the focal point of sisters and family. A downward, pinched look: a certain extra understanding.]

Ah... Your sister sounds like an admirable person. [The use of past tense was noticed, of course, but echoing it carelessly seems almost insulting.] To take on that much... She must be very responsible and dependable, as well.

[Like Chizuru.

The next topic is one Kaoru doesn't particularly like, but will approach regardless.]

When we were younger, we hardly ever fought at all. To be honest, I can't recall any instances immediately... I'm certain that it must have happened over this or that since fights between siblings are unavoidable, but it was never anything particularly harmful.

... She was. [ His lips are almost unmoving, words breathed like another homage to ruin, just another way to renew his guilt, because she's never really died for him. Vanessa lives on in the disconsolate farce he's made of his life, pretending he's still the same as he always was when inside — past the animosity and the trapped senselessness of his hypocrisy — he's always had the capacity for unpardonable cruelty.

Jaw tightening, he tacitly avoids directly staring at Kaoru, instead fixating his attention to the left or right margin of her face, staggered clean through with a frigidity that leaks viscid into his bones, cloying and inextricable.

It's nothing like humility. The farthest thing from it. Dissuading himself from the sudden compulsion to pour tea down his throat in one unrelieved draught (warm as it is, it'd do nothing but needlessly scald his esophagus and alarm Kaoru), he turns aside again, eyes fixed on the granite table with unnecessary preciseness, blinking away the needles prickling his vision. ] I see.

You've ... never hated your sister?

[There's the indelible "was", a very pointed and purposeful wording. Kaoru's brow wrinkles a little into soft, sympathetic lines. No comment is made, even so; he's well-aware of the fact that offering condolences when knowing so very little about the situation would only come off as trite and meaningless. They can come after Elliot offers more information, if he does at all.

And then it's Kaoru's turn to glance away, though it's a very brief drop in gaze. From Elliot's face to the little lick of unruly hair curling at his temple to the bookshelf pressed against the nearby wall and then back again. A breath in; it's held for a second or two longer than usual.]

I love my sister more than anything. [That, of course, doesn't mean that Kaoru has never hated her. In the end, his hatred is equal in weight and size to his love - or maybe it's always been the same thing. Everything had been warped at such a young age that what could be considered "normal, healthy" love is a distant and alien concept.

The silence lingers again, and Kaoru's smile (which had dropped off to make room for the sympathy) returns for a beat.]

Even if we don't see eye to eye on some things, I can't say that I've ever hated her.

[The most direct lie Kaoru has said to Elliot yet.]

[ His expression falls short of actual culpability, eyes blinking too bright, too caught, by the intensity of Kaoru's stare as it falls and diffuses past him. He can't manage words; every time he attempts to voice his sympathy, it dies in his throat, the sticky discomfort of never expressing empathy when he's meant to. And he can tell, clearly discern the affection in Kaoru's eyes, even if there's something strange about the way it's transposed. A coolness at complete polar odds with the wayward stares — for Kaoru, whose directness he takes as a given, it's odd.

But her sister is gone. That's understandable, too.

Without comprehension, he lets his eyes wander, then plaintively raises the tea cup for a sip, a slow intake of warmth that settles in protracted suffusion within him. Out of cowardice, he doesn't lift his gaze. ]

I've loathed my sister, once. Just once. [ A beat. ] But that didn't mean I didn't care about her even then. She ... if she had a flaw, it would be pride. It blinded her to the truth at hand. And then she died.

[ His tone waxing quiet at the end, he glances up at last, eyes boring holes into Kaoru. ] Where do you think they go after they die? Do you think there's an afterlife, or do you believe that nothing awaits us after we breathe our last breaths and inevitably perish?

[In a way, it's still easier to react to this. Elliot's bluntness is a nice springboard for reactions; he doesn't hide things as thoroughly as some might, so Kaoru doesn't have to worry about misstepping quite as often. "And then she died"; Elliot isn't looking at him yet, but when he finally does, there's a reflection of deep sympathy in the stare that meets him. An unspoken condolence.

In a way, it isn't entirely falsified. There is a frantic part of him, deep down, that panics at the notion. The death of a sister - even if that sister isn't his own, and even if Kaoru couldn't really force more care about a pair of veritable strangers - is something truly terrible. Even a person who would kill their own sister if it suited them would understand that their death would come with a crushing and unshakable sense of loss, surely. Kaoru would.

At the question, Elliot's gaze is still met and held somewhat solidly. Kaoru glances upward once, toward the ceiling, thoughtful. Outside of that singular instance, he maintains eye contact.]

...I haven't thought much about it, to be honest. [As a young person, it probably isn't surprising. Of course, the real reason for Kaoru's lack of consideration is because of an equal (or greater) lack of care. Regardless of whether there's something waiting on the other side of death, it doesn't help a person accomplish what they want to in life. It doesn't ease any of the suffering that the cruel world of the living can deliver.]

What does Elliot-san believe?

[ As detached as he is from the situation, it's not as if he's genuinely affected by what he'd done as he had been when he initially arrived, scared and furious and seeking out answers that wouldn't put him on the spot, because he'd rid himself of any idea of the afterlife when he found himself capable of the same blasphemies he disparaged others for.

The sympathy is infuriating, somehow. Elliot's already regretting proposing the trip, because he can't even focus, hands snatching around nothing in particular: pockets of air, his own futility, digging kneaded creases into his palms.

The faltering stare doesn't escape his notice: he's always found that people lie when they avert their gaze, but he's guilty of that notion several times over himself. ]

The world wouldn't be unkind enough to offer absolution for the virtuous and morally righteous. Even if they pass, it isn't the end. They'll only be taken back into the cycle that all life moves through.

For the damned, there's nothing but finality awaiting them. They'll die. Permanently.

It seems like a terribly self-flagellating or congratulating concept.

[And unlike the mild stutter-stare and the sympathy before, Kaoru states this like it might as well be fact. That's exactly what it is, to him. The world is unkind to everyone with the exception of a spare few, and those few are either eventually introduced to its unkindness or they continue living, blissfully unaware of the fact that they're in the midst of a hellish situation. There is (or should be, at least) equality in how absolutely shitty the world is. No one should be spared.

Still, it's not like it's easy to discern just how emotionally connected Kaoru is to this particular subject. There may not be any hesitation, but there's not really much emotion one way or another, either. Nothing beyond the usual measure, anyway.]

But I suppose that's what I hear from the majority. The good are rewarded and the bad are punished, correct? The basis of many religions.

It is what it is.

[ Vacuum of negative and cynical outlooks aside, he really doesn't want to drag Kaoru down into that still unnameable panic that grips him sometimes, the telltale fear that he isn't any better than those he criticizes without censure. It's humiliating in theory, but more than that he's afraid — he is a coward, but not a self-admitted one, and it irks him more than any pretty words used as an excuse to cover up his weakness.

He doesn't agree with Kaoru's internalized principles, but then again, he can't tell if his are any better. She seems quite adamant on neutrality, regardless. ]

The good rarely receive what they deserve. And try as you might to punish all who have committed some sin, it's never quite that easy.

What do you believe in, Kaoru?

[There's a little hum in response to that, not really of agreement or denial - just a noncommittal noise. Kaoru walks the fence when it comes to topics that could potentially reveal too much, and this is certainly one of those.

But the question earn Elliot a quizzical look, and by now most of the edge from earlier has gone away again. His hands come to rest near the bottom of his cup.]

What do I believe in? [The question is echoed back, and then a momentary but thoughtful silence follows.]

I don't have any particular beliefs for the afterlife itself, if that's what you mean. Of course, it's prudent to honor one's ancestors, but I don't have much time to spare on pondering the what-ifs beyond that. [A small, quirking, wry smile.] We're on the brink of war, after all. It's troublesome enough to think of what lies exactly before us.

[Which isn't entirely a lie, for once. He really doesn't have much time to solidify his beliefs. Even if Elliot was talking about beliefs in a more general sense - good and bad, right and wrong, the way of the world - Kaoru's answer would remain pretty much unchanged. His scope of vision is very narrow.]

Yes. I'm asking what governs your thoughts. There isn't chaos here — rampant, at least. Only tedium.

[ His stare doesn't lacerate. Elliot isn't staring at her at all, really, even if his eyes are fixated on Kaoru like he'd been entranced by some peculiar eccentricity, snaring himself in self-ruination, a moth diving into open flame. She, in particular, was an abnormality he couldn't merely dismiss as inconsequential, yet another droll passerby like those who had come before in his life, all parrots blathering on about subjects that didn't matter. Small talk exchanged at the price of nothing.

And he doesn't know what he's doing, inquiring her at length like he could scalp meaning from it all, thrust head-first in a world that never gave much of a damn about egotistical nobles and their overly-entitled offspring. He isn't even sure what she thinks of him. She never reacts as he'd expect: only a clean rinse of a smile perpetually donning her face, neither flattering nor dismissive, only polite.

Just polite. ]

As for religion —

[ He reaches out to grab a stray tissue even when he hasn't done anything more than blink morosely at his cup and the scenery around him, settling on balling it in his hand at the successive sentence.

Neutral, as always.

Perhaps he really did seek out offense in others (another reason to put on airs and pretend restlessness was an ingrained trait within him). ]

You shouldn't speak so neutrally, I won't be offended if your beliefs differ from mine. Perhaps I overestimated myself in your eyes. I believed you thought better of me than that.

[That actually earns him something that isn't quite a break in the rolling politeness, but something close - a gentle upward quirk of one brow, which almost seems amused. Kaoru leans from the table a little, but with posture so straight and well-kept, even that doesn't take him far enough to rest against the back of the chair.]

I'm afraid that there's nothing neutral about it, and I certainly didn't mean to imply ill of you. [Or rather, "you shouldn't read insult into everything", but that would break too far away from niceties to be feasible. Kaoru holds one hand out as though to help with the explanation that will follow, and the gesture is still very elegant even though it holds a little more command behind it than usual.]

I have no interest in matters that are intangible. [Said very primly, cut and matter-of-fact.] Wondering about things that one can't affect with their own two hands - I don't see much of a point in it. In that realm, what will be will be. In the world that we inhabit, there are other things that require attention and focus instead.

[The sentiment of a good clan leader, or at least one who's willing to see their goals through to the end.]

I suppose you could say that is what "governs my thoughts".

[ Too bad he's exactly the type of person to read ill into everything. It's really a shame — maybe if he wasn't half as entrenched in defunct negativity and sneering contempt, he wouldn't be so quick to second-guess anyone who so much as makes eye contact with him. But that's for the better, in any case. Elliot's too prone to snapping, so fickle he'd make enemies out of his friends before he became marginally close enough to exchange cordial remarks, much less ricochet back and forth between the divide. ]

Then you have no thoughts for spirituality? It's inconsequential to you, so it makes no difference either way.

[ It isn't disbelief staining his inflection. Not quite. Not in the right way, just — something in his stare that begets answers. Understanding where he won't find any: he can't scalp comprehension from anyone else more than he can sloppily dig his own grave. ]

The physical realm requires focus. But I don't believe you can disparage the intangible plane so easily.

[ It's a bit chafing. He isn't sure what he wants from Kaoru, acceptance or denial or anything resembling resignation. He's certainly inconstant enough, playing both fields without rationale for either side.

... Validation, probably.

That hits the nail squarely on the head. ]

[Good lord, what a fickle child. Kaoru's picking up quickly on the fact that "hard to please" may be wording things lightly in his case, even though the expression presented doesn't have an inkling of the a-ha moment going on behind the scenes. People like that are so tiresome, but all things considered, Elliot hasn't demanded nearly as much as most of the others who fall into the same category. It's good enough for now.]

Perhaps that holds true for some people, or in some worlds.

[It's agreement without actually budging at all. There's just a difference of opinion here: clearly there's something about the spiritual realm that Elliot finds much more important than Kaoru does. Is it surprising? ...Not quite, honestly.

The hand that Kaoru had raised earlier had settled back against the teacup just as quickly, and one finger now rests against the thinnest curve of its handle.]

If it's of greater consequence in your own world, then it would make sense to pay it mind, correct? Or if it held personal significance, I suppose... It simply doesn't to me.

[ He hates when he's reduced to irrelevancy — absolutely loathes when his ideals are squandered away at some other person's fleeting whims. Elliot himself is so capricious, easily spun by the same argumentative points of contention he forces onto other people, but he never wants to have his own trump card inflicted upon him in just measure. It's insulting, but more than that, he's no more furtive about his alibis than the next schmuck with a penchant for disparaging misanthropy (but then that would make him some incarnate version of the Ouroboros, always feasting upon himself, enacting the same judgment he administers himself with).

It's annoying, but he can discern some level of nonchalance from Kaoru — even as her face chops up into another rebuttal, it's muted — her response lacks edges where he'd wanted (desperately coveted) a sharp-laced retort, if just for shutting it down.

It's not Leo before him, however. He understands that much.

Dispassionate, Elliot sinks into his chair, deprived of his former manic feverishness. ] Only for the cultists. It wasn't something spoken highly of in reasonable parties. It's sensationalism there as much as it is here.

[ He doesn't address the latter statement's insinuation at point-blank regard. ] Then you've never bore even a fleeting thought where your soul might end up? Beyond all these useless trivialities — there must be something — an idea. Even just a notion of what lies after for you, even if there's nothing at all.

[ Confirmation or denial of his own beliefs is wholly inconsequential, regardless. He just wants the corporeality of an honest-to-god answer. ]

[Like a boat with the wind let out of its sails, gosh. It's a little amusing to Kaoru, but the air of neutrality is kept up even so.]

I see... It would seem that's a similarity, then. [The sensationalism of religion, or spirituality, or things that remotely fall into that realm. Maybe that's another reason Kaoru doesn't really have a lot of interest in it; it's not part of his culture to be observant of human religions. Demons have their own ideologies and beliefs, and most of them are firmly rooted in realms of the tangible, too. Family comes before the self or any sort of god-like existence. Paying respect to ancestors is generally more important than worrying about where one's own soul goes, even to those who don't have quite as many bizarre hang-ups as Kaoru.

But it looks like Elliot's question is getting some serious consideration, either way. He sure doesn't give up once he latches onto something...]

Mm... I've wondered if it might go to the place that my ancestors supposedly rest, once or twice. Still, by virtue of not having a solid belief, "nothing" might be what I've considered most often.

That's unfortunate.

[ He tries so hard sometimes, but no dice. It's privately absurd that Kaoru can be completely chill with someone like Elliot, who has likely tripped and fallen over his own too feet several times in his life, but them's the breaks. It's not as if he doesn't see his relatives as important — it's just hard to properly venerate them when all of natural blood-related family members are as dead as doornails. Vincent had come and gone like a fleeting dream, the same with Reim, and he didn't have the slightest inkling as to Gilbert's whereabouts, or even his current state of mind, what with the upheaval of pretty much everything over their extended stay in Tellus.

It's stupid. Elliot poses hypotheticals on others that he's more inclined to answer himself, but no one ever applauded him for keeping a cool head under pressure, either. ]

You don't believe in anything after this life.

[ How anticlimactic. He folds one hand over the other, absently thumbing his wrist. ]

Still — even if the circumstances in which we were able to meet like this have been skewed to the agenda of others — I'm glad I was able to meet you. I hope you will be able to return home. I've heard rumors that those who disappear have supposedly found a way back, but — if you ask me — it's more likely that they were forcibly removed for one insurrection or another with the excuse of faulted code that makes up this strange world.

For your sake and hers, I hope your sister hasn't succumbed to the same fate that likely befell the rest of those who have departed since our arrival.

[There's just a look that speaks to some vague measure of agreement at that, because yeah it sure is unfortunate. LIFE IS UNFORTUNATE. Life is doubly unfortunate when all of your true family is dead along with anyone else who even remotely bore the title. Chizuru might as well be dead for all the good she's doing right now, too. How dare she get spirited off into the void...

That said, Kaoru feels a sick sense of... something that isn't concern, but-- if anyone is going to make his sister miserable, it should be him, honestly. A Mature Individual. Most people's concerns would probably be alleviated at least partially upon hearing that their vanished siblings are safe and sound, but not Kaoru Nagumo, who's only buttblasted as usual that his precious little sister is getting special treatment.

But that's neither here or there, and not much of that conflict shows on Kaoru's face. There's another little smile, more subdued than before. Kaoru's head dips forward into a grateful-looking bow.]

I hope for the same, and thank you for your kind words. I suppose there isn't any way to know with certainty as things are right now, but... it's still reassuring, to know that others outside of myself are wishing her well. [SO REASSURING.]

And thank you for wishing me home, as well. I wouldn't mind returning, but I've very much enjoyed the company of everyone that I've had the pleasure of meeting here in the meantime.

[Even Elliot "difficult on purpose" Nightray!!]

[ This shit is so crazy.

If he had even an inkling of what Kaoru happened to genuinely think of Chizuru, he'd drop his """friend""" faster than a bat out of hell. There's no way he'd ever understand — not in the way Kaoru uses when justifying genocide or blatant murder, staggering words around pretty, gilded notions instead of genuine substance.

Elliot hates himself but loves the world (fervently, fervently, even as he spurns all else), so it only makes sense he'd hate someone who'd rather watch it burn with bright-eyed inconsistency. never faithful to anyone other than the individual, the singular: the demise of collective hope.

Or, yeah, Kaoru Nagumo just happens to be a stir-crazy yandere for a sister the same likeness, not that Elliot knows any better. He flatlines. ]

It's obvious, isn't it? It's not my place to say, but if you were content with it, I would search for her in your stead.

[ He dislodges his petty ire, swapping it out for resignation. ]

I think the same of you. With all that's happened, I've found that there are less people I can confide in, that I can truly call allies with candid earnestness. It's likely apparently to you by this point, but I do consider you a —

[ AN UGLY PAUSE ENSUES as Elliot fiddles with his tea spoon, his cowlick, his collar, everything but the matter at hand, and then, rather begrudgingly: ]

... a dear friend. You've been nothing but hospitable from the first day I met you, and I'm ... I'm grateful. I can't even conversing with my siblings as naturally as I have with you.

Thank you.

[There's a little twinge of something there, then - something that's almost like surprise, but not quite. Humans are capable of great destruction, but they're very weak things in the end, aren't they? And this, too, is little more than a sign of that rotting core - the corrosive center lying at the heart of each and every one of them. Disgusting. Perhaps a softer person (or at least one with a little more sanity) would be able to appreciate those words and the sentiment they carry. It's obvious that it's taken a lot for Elliot to say them aloud, after all. No real surprise there. From the little Kaoru knows of him, he seems a gentle boy in that he handles emotions with kid gloves if they're anything less delicate than indignant anger.

But he's also well aware of the fact that he could be wrong, because every person has facets of themselves that they keep hidden sometimes for days, sometimes forever. Elliot may seem tolerable enough now - sweet, even - but he knows better than to blindly trust or to trust at all. It's what makes that statement something that he would rather sneer than smile at. Bold words coming from someone who knows nothing about their conversational partner...

The look on Kaoru's face is caught in a shade of subdued surprise, but it shifts soon after.]

Elliot-san... [A beat, and then:] You're welcome. [First of all, because Kaoru has a feeling genuine thanks are something of a rarity from him and it shouldn't just be glossed over.]

It's truly an honor to hear that you think so highly of me. I can't be certain of my own worth as a friend, but if you believe it of me, I'll continue to be here for you as best as I'm able.

[The hives will be coming on now any second, surely... But oh, a little nugget of the truth follows, then.]

I wasn't allowed many friends in my youth. I'd like to offer the most, but it's still something that I'm adjusting to... Thank you for your kindness.

[ elliot nightray is the kind of kid that likely holds much regard for fairytales. if he didn't, he wouldn't be half as inclined with the holy knight series and the fictive charm they hold for him. it spools on yarns of half-truths about pride and personal responsibility, and it's just like elliot to buy into really hokey shit. so he has no reason to disbelieve someone who has done nothing but extend a hand to him in a time of need, when he was out alone, further than his brothers had throughout their stay in tellus.

he's lonely, most days. and maybe it's selfish, but he needs a crutch — and if kaoru's more than willing to play the role of dutiful friend, then he won't ask for more.

so all the contrived emotional manipulation is lost on him, seriously. he can't stop from compulsively stirring his tea even after it's long since cooled, and then he stares into his contents like he's reading his fortune in tea leaves and found something particular propitious in their lukewarm contents. he holds the cup up and downs the dredges in one prolonged draught. setting the porcelain glass back on its saucer, eyes still averted. ]

That's fine, then. This isn't ... a kindness, really. I just wanted you to know.

[ it feels like a confession, and maybe it is. he isn't certain anymore. ]

Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. You don't have to reciprocate anything.

[ collecting himself, he picks up the tab and tip, collecting the cups in one harried flourish. ]

I'll take my leave now, so — will you be alright? I can walk you over to your next destination, if necessary.

me staring into the sky over these nerds forever help elliot nightray

souredsweet - 2015-06-20 11:38 (UTC) - Expand

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( OPEN ) i don't want a mental suplex, i want quality customer service

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time 2 pull the plug on this trainwreck

me staring into the sky over these nerds forever help elliot nightray