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Who: Sousei and Tenka
When: 10/25 ; night
Where: their ~~currently~~ shared apartment
What: There's a lot of canon to catch up on. Alcohol definitely makes that much ~~worse~~ better
Rating/Warning: drunk people, Manpain

[Living with Tenka is simultaneously really, really familiar and also a little irritatingly different. Cutting contact for years will do that, he supposes--but nonetheless, as easily as they fall back into the groove of being partners, there's still a lot under the surface that needs to be said.

Neither of them wants to say it, though.

Sousei still doesn't like this place, certainly, and has no intentions of playing along with them--but at the very least, acting as a kendo instructor is calming. It's familiar, and separate from all of this futuristic nonsense, and while he's doing his best to adapt, it isn't bad to have something very like home to ground him.

There's that, and there's Tenka.

So when he gets home from said work, he expects it to be another night of them trying and failing to return to the place they were before, when all they had had to do was be partners, and the understanding came right along with it.]

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[Firmly, almost a little too hard, Sousei sets down his cup. And he frowns at Tenka, because--]

There must have been another way.

[A way that wouldn't have made Tenka go through so much pain. That wouldn't have come with an end date.

That wouldn't have ended in so much tragedy.]

I have learned that there is always another way. [That's why he didn't kill Soramaru. He knew there had to be another way, and there was.] I still do not intend to give up on our dream, but I will not forgive you if you give up on your life either!

[Perhaps...a little more loosely said than usual, but...well, the alcohol's been working its wonders, and a lot of this has been buried for quite awhile.]

[Tenka wants to think that there would've been another way. But-]

Our medicine wasn't capable of fixing the problem I had, Sousei. It still isn't. [And he laughs a bit because-] We're in the future where we don't have to draw water from wells or have to light a fire with rocks - and the best I've gotten is a different form of medicine that's still experimental.

Our other ways aren't looking too much better.

[And he drops his hand to the table just as he drops his gaze and honestly-]

I'm living as a Kumou until the end. And that means being their big brother and your partner. I've got a lot to make up for still.

It's just- [He shrugs a little helplessly and for the first time, his voice sounds uncertain and almost afraid.] I don't... know when the end is.

[That's the part that isn't his choice anymore.]

[And that's what makes Sousei snap. They're supposed to take that from this place? From home? From all of that nonsense? Don't make him laugh. All they've been dealing with are liars and frauds. He wouldn't trust them as far as he can throw them, especially not about something as important as Tenka's life.

So he turns, grabbing the front of Tenka's clothing and pulling him closer, expression fierce.]

So you think we should just give up?! That we should believe that that is the best a place like this has to offer, when our captors have done nothing but attempt to cause us harm?

[He scoffs.]

Don't be ridiculous. There will be another way, and I will find it, whether you want me to or not. I refuse to allow you to die again. All you have ever done is leave us all behind, and it will stop.

[He's tired of Tenka leaving him behind. He doesn't want it to happen anymore.]

[That manages to surprise him-

Because it's too easy for him to remember the last time Sousei yanked on him like this, so clearly upset.

Though admittedly last time he was scorning Tenka's life, telling him to disappear. Alone.

This is different but Tenka is still left as lost and uncertain as to what he should say as before.

His left hand comes up to wrap his fingers loosely around Sousei's forearm, a tenuous hold on the other man whereas his grip on Tenka remains strong.

Then, Tenka will admit something he's never quite been able to say aloud before:]

Do you expect a complaint from me about that?

I don't want to die, Sousei. I never have.

[It's just that so far - with the nearly fatal injury to his back, his ordained execution by the government, and his body being consumed by a monster - it's the only fate that he's ever been sure of.]

[Sousei's grip doesn't loosen, either, but his expression does grow a little confused. Tenka doesn't want to die... but that's all he's done this entire time. Worked alone, dragged himself into corners and found himself in a hole he couldn't dig himself out of.

If he didn't want to die, then...]

Why? Why didn't you tell us?

[Why didn't Tenka tell him? It didn't have to be this way. He didn't have to face everything alone.]

You took on everything alone, and ended up leaving behind the only people that mattered to you, after everything. [For the record, he means Tenka's siblings--after all, Tenka had left the Yamainu in order to take care of Soramaru and Chuutarou.]

Why would I tell you?

I couldn't stand, let alone be the Yamainu Captain and our instructor [our father] was murdered. I left because I had my little brothers but-

But I wouldn't have been able to keep up with you guys. How could I try to hunt down the Orochi with you guys when I was using its cells to walk?

[Tenka lives a life of secrets but that... that would've been too much for even him. How could he try to kill one of his friends if they were the vessel for the Orochi when the same Orochi was letting him keep his own life?

And at the mention of his brothers, that- that gets Tenka to falter even further.]

.... I didn't mean to make them cry, but they're strong. They can be a lot stronger than I ever was- ever could be.

I'd thought-

[And he laughs again, weakly.

(Laugh, just laugh.)]

I'd thought it would only hurt for a little while. But they'd be okay without me.

Just like I thought you'd gone on just fine without me.

So not telling anyone... just made sense at the time. I guess I was wrong again.

[...He was wrong again. Entirely, completely wrong. Sousei bows his head for a moment (something he so rarely, ever does, because he's always thought that so long as you keep your head held high, it'll be okay, but--) still clutching to the front of Tenka's clothing, fingers clenched tightly.

These are the things he never got the chance to say. These are the things that were always there, waiting to be said, and yet...there was never the chance, and then Tenka was gone from his life.

He's angry.

But he's also so unbearably sad, that Tenka thought this was his only option, even then.]

Nobody has gone on just fine without you. [It's said quietly, because Sousei's never admitted to it before now, but...] I am not you. The Yamainu could never have hoped to continue on as it did when you were there.

[A short breath, and he scoffs, eyes narrowing as he lifts his gaze to look Tenka in the eye.]

Soramaru refused to cry. He felt that to inherit your spirit, he had to be "strong", as if weeping would make him weaker in some way.

[WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT--except Sousei really doesn't even have to wonder. Tenka's influence was everywhere, and it still is, and he's so angry that Tenka can't see it too.]

[When they were younger, Tenka never had a problem with encroaching on Sousei's personal space. He would throw his arms around his shoulders or suddenly tackle him or grab his arm to pull him toward whatever thing had caught Tenka's at the time. Sousei was his best friend and his partner and even though he'd known Kiiko longer, Sousei was the one that Tenka felt the need to drag around everywhere.

Then Sousei hated him for ten years. Sousei avoided seeing him for ten years. Sousei was out of reach for ten years.

Now, he's almost too close and at the same time not nearly close enough.

Tenka's never accepted the idea that he's irreplaceable in this world. Everyone was capable of going on without him - sure, there was change. Kiiko told him how much the Yamainu changed and he accepted that because at the same time, they were as close-knit and family-like as ever.

God, he missed them sometimes, even though he knew he had no right to.

But he also knew that they were in good hands. Sousei was a good leader and already had a more level head than Tenka did when they were children. They were equally matched in skill, so why would it be a big deal if there was a change in leadership that switched it over to Sousei?

There shouldn't have been.

And there shouldn't have been a change in Soramaru's attitude either - his brother was prone to crying. Both he and Chuutarou were. So to think that Soramaru thought that he wasn't supposed to cry anymore... that goes against everything Tenka wanted for him.

Crying was how people grew stronger. They should have been able to feel everything that they needed to - Tenka was just never afforded that opportunity. He wanted differently for his brothers.

Except now, his partner is telling him that absolutely none of his intentions came across as planned.

So almost regressing to when they were kids, the hand around Sousei's arm releases its hold. Instead, Tenka moves forward and wraps his arms around his partner in a hug.

There's so much to say, but first-]

You've never needed to be me. No one ever needs to be me.

[So what if the Yamainu had to change? What's this bullshit about Soramaru 'inheriting' his spirit?]

But I can keep trying to be me if you guys need me around that badly.

[And suddenly, Tenka's closer than he has been for years, and Sousei doesn't know what to do about it. He freezes for a moment at the hug, because... it's been a really long time. He had never been particularly good with Tenka's physical affection as it was, honestly; he'd never really had much of it as a child, so of course it was weird.

But Tenka had always done so. He'd always been close and personal, because he was Tenka. That was what he did.

And then, the only closeness they've had recently had been on Sousei's part, grabbing at his partner, holding him up or keeping him standing.

A moment later, even if he shouldn't, he relaxes. It's...not completely foreign, because it's Tenka. And Tenka...has never been replaceable. He has needed him. Not just the Yamainu. Not just Soramaru. Him, Sousei, he has needed his partner, and it hasn't been the same ever since he was gone.]

...Stop trying to leave us all behind to protect us. It does not work that way.

[His forehead thumps against Tenka's shoulder for a moment, Sousei well and truly letting his guard down for the moment now that they're here.]

We will fight with you, alongside you, to make our dream a reality, just as we all said we would. [Soramaru and Chuutarou too--aren't they as much a part of this now?]

[He'd been worried, honestly.

Yeah, it'd been years since he'd try to reach for Sousei. It was a strange disconnected, considering how physical Tenka would be with people. He'd grab at Shirasu, hold his brothers close, and otherwise use his body to try to keep the people who mattered most to him close.

He'd done it since he was a child - after all, upon hearing that they'd be taking a picture, Tenka had just thrown his arm around Sousei no questions asked. His partner would always be close to him.

And for the first time that Tenka could remember, his random throwing affection at Sousei has been accepted and feeling the other relax is enough to make Tenka breathe out a sigh of relief too. What a strange moment to find scary. But it was entirely easy for Sousei to soothe those fears.

So Tenka just sighs and rests his own chin on Sousei's shoulder, hug only tightening even though he feels himself relaxing.]

... give me a break. I'm learning now, okay?

[Learning. What a funny thought. He'd agreed to let Sousei teach him before and... well, this is a good lesson, he thinks. After all, Tenka hasn't had a chance to learn from anyone since his father died. Since then, it's all been his own judgment and... well, it's clear to see where that had gone astray.]

... We'll figure something out.

{For his body, for the Orochi, for their family- they can figure something out.

Not for the first time, Tenka thinks it's possible as long as he has his partner.]

[He is learning. That...much is clear, even just from this answer. Tenka is learning, and he's trying, and so...it'll probably be okay.

Sousei won't be alone in this anymore. And he won't lose his partner again. And that much is enough to leave him feeling relieved as well. The betrayal is no longer so fresh and sharp and bitter as it was. Knowing why he did it...helps quite a bit, even if it's still an unpleasant thought.

Knowing that plagues Tenka outweighs that immensely.

But now...they'll work together. Here and back home, they'll find ways to fix this. And with that in mind, Sousei knows it will be okay.]

...We will.

[A sigh, soft and quiet, and then he slowly regathers the shreds of his composure and sits up a bit more straight, even if he doesn't necessarily shrug Tenka off of him yet.]

...Perhaps you aren't such a hopeless student, despite how much you slacked at your studies before.

[At least that's...a bit more the usual, even if things got pretty heavy there for a moment.]

[Well, Sousei is free to straighten up a bit more if he wants but Tenka's honestly not budging. Guess who's drunk? Tenka's drunk. Tenka's drunk and therefore he's going to stay where it's warm and comfortable and clinging to Sousei means it's less of his own effort to keep himself upright.

Should've shoved him off a while ago, Sousei.

Anyway now he's just going to grouch-]

Hopeless - our test scores were the same!!

[JEEZE.]

[Wow this is so familiar... now he's going to try to push Tenka off and it's not working.

Why this.]

Miraculously. [HMPH.] You were always distracted by other things.

[mama kumou despaired.]

[nope

not working

he's stubbornly staying where he is, fight him]

I was very busy, even as a child!

[DON'T HATE]

[HATING. also he's going to start pulling Tenka's hair if he doesn't get off of him soon. Just tugging at the stupid crabhair.]

You were not! [WHAT...???] Our matches aside, you spent most of your time dreaming up ridiculous dreams!

[That...Sousei completely believes in. A+ Sousei.]

I was very busy!! I had matches with you and to make sure Ashiya didn't go sleep in a box and to watch my little brothers and all sorts of other duties!

[ashiya not sleeping in a box was very important]

Also you're welcome and- ow!

[hair pulling what is this, are they five (yes they are)]

[He'll admit that Ashiya not sleeping in a box was very important, it's true, but--]

Get off. You weigh too much.

[You're heavy jeeze!!!]

Are you going to claim that you're busy here as well?

Strength-training, Sousei. Or are you really too slight to keep up with my weight?

[No, he's not getting off, even if he's drawing at straws and-]

.... Well, less busy. It's almost kinda boring here.

[and their house is too quiet, he needs to fix that]

[oh. That's enough to get Sousei to legitimately shove Tenka off of him because don't insult him!!!]

I can keep up with you just fine.

[When was the last time they even had a match...]

... That much is true, however. There are important things to be done back home, and yet we are kept here. [UGHHH]

[OOF.

okay yeah no he's landing on the floor in a heap and honestly just. laughing now.

yeah he's a laughing drunk, who's surprised

still though he's snickering as he sits up and reaches to take another drink]

Workaholic.

I don't want to hear that from you.

[Slacker.

Sousei just picks up his own cup, because he's also too far gone to bother to regulate his alcohol intake GET THE BIRTHDAY BOY DRUNK: SUCCESS??]

What job did they even assign you? [He's still a little bitter about working for the city, which is why he decided against being a police officer, but. Tenka...]

[TOTAL SUCCESS and Tenka is honestly giving Sousei a very blank look at that.

Are you for real, homie.

He's just going to gesture to the bottle of sake that he managed to procure seemingly out of thin air-]

Bartender.

[Excuse you, Tenka, you could've bought that anywhere. Maybe even in a vending machine??? He's not entirely clear on it, Naoi had said you can buy most anything in them.

... ... ...anyway.]

... Of course. [Really, CERES? What a waste of talent.]

[Let's be real, Tenka probably already checked to see what you could buy in vending machines. Liquor? Much harder.

He's not entirely sure what soda is though so he didn't get any of that.]

Are you already judging my career? That's rude!

[Yes, yes he is.]

Well, I suppose it's harmless enough.

[A glance at the alcohol in his hands, and some fuzzy processing, and--]

... ... ... I take that back.

[NOT REALLY HARMLESS.]

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